ESCAPE
by Katie4863
Summary: Successful doctor in a miserable marriage finds sexy fun and perhaps more than he bargained for with an exciting, adventurous brunette.
1. Chapter 1

_**I've had numerous requests for another story and I appreciate all of you and your kind words very much. So, I'm going to share the story I've been playing with for quite awhile. The premise was requested by someone and I just kind of went with it not sure where it would go or how it would get there and I've been keeping it on a live journal and updating it when I could find the time, which has been more difficult than usual. It's very smutty and...well, you can judge for yourselves. Here's the first chapter. If you like it I'll give you the rest of it a chapter a time, if you don't, I won't. There are 26 chapters completed and you get to decide if you want to see all of them. Thanks again for all the really nice messages. I haven't been ignoring you, I've just been taking a bit of break.**_

He sat across the table watching her and playing with his food more than eating it. She was still as pretty as the day he'd become smitten enough with her to ask her out, yet she seemed less interested in him these days. She nibbled at her food, sighed occasionally and looked at her watch more times than he cared to count. She wiped her mouth and excused herself, he guessed to get away from him or to work up an excuse to cut their evening short. He watched her walk away and then motioned for the waiter to fill their wine glasses one more time. She returned, saw the full glass of wine, sighed and then looked at her watch again.

"Am I keeping you from something?" He asked.

"No, of course not, it's just been a long day and I'm a little tired." She answered.

Jack Shephard sat back and listened to his wife Sarah lie to him. She wasn't tired, she was bored, bored with him. He looked at her and remembered the night he'd brought her to this restaurant located within one of the finest hotels in the area. He remembered how on that night they had sat side by side, holding hands off and on and actually enjoying one another's company. He remembered how he had pulled the ring out and proposed to her and how she'd cried and accepted his proposal. He remembered how they'd made their way upstairs to the suite with the champagne and roses he'd had prepared ahead of time and how they hungrily went after one another, loving each other long into the night. He watched her and he wondered when they had grown so far apart, when he'd become so dry and apparently undesirable to her.

It was their first wedding anniversary and he suspected it would be their last, their marriage all but over and he had no idea how it happened or why it happened, only that it had happened and that his wife no longer wanted him. He thought that maybe bringing her to the place where he'd proposed and reserving the exact same room for them might rekindle the spark, but she didn't appear to be impressed by his gesture or the least bit interested in rekindling sparks. He finally sat back, dropping his napkin on the table and making eye contact with her.

"Sarah, it's Friday night and I know your day can be taxing, but you can sleep in tomorrow so I'm not really buying the excuse that you're tired. I reserved the same room for us, but I'm getting the impression that you aren't interested in celebrating this marriage's one year milestone in the same manner we celebrated its beginning." Jack said, his tone flat, his face stoic.

"Jack, this is all very sweet and romantic and I'm lucky to have a husband that remembers moments and tries to recreate them, but I'm just not feeling well. Maybe we can do this another time?" She suggested.

"You mean on our next first anniversary, sure, no problem Sarah." Jack said sarcastically.

"You're mad." She said.

"Mad? No, just disappointed I guess. We haven't had sex in over a month, I suppose thinking my wife might put out on our anniversary was a bit too optimistic on my part." Jack continued in his sarcastic tone.

"So that's why you did all this? You were hoping it would earn you a tumble between the sheets?" Sarah shot back hatefully.

"I don't know what I was hoping for Sarah, maybe that my wife would show up, that the woman I married was still in there some place. Any time I try to touch you it's the same thing. You're tired or you don't feel well. When did I become so repulsive to you Sarah?" He asked.

"It's not you Jack, it's me. Okay? I'm just not feeling sexy these days. Do you just want me to lay there and pretend like it's something I want when I don't?" She asked.

"What do you want Sarah?" He asked.

"I don't know what I want Jack, all I know is that right now the last thing I want to do is spend the evening in bed with you." She said.

"I can remember a time when that's all you wanted to do?" He said with a hint of sadness.

"Well, I guess all those feelings were new and fun and that it wears off eventually." She sighed.

"The love and the lust you feel for someone wears off? I guess I never got that memo because I still want you as much today as I did the first time we made love." He argued.

"I'm sorry Jack. I can't pretend to feel what I don't." She said, starting to become emotional.

If you're finished eating I'll take you home." He said and reached for his wallet.

"No, I'm going to take a cab. I need to be away from you for awhile." She said.

"Great. I'll tell you what, since I've already paid for the room, I'll just stay here tonight, give you some space." He said.

"Do what you want Jack, I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty because you're never around and when you are all you want from me is sex." Sarah said and stood.

He didn't respond. The last thing he wanted to do was make a scene in public because his wife didn't want to sleep with him. He looked at her with soft, caring eyes and she back at him.

"Do you need some cash for the cab?" He asked as he held out two twenty dollar bills.

"Thank you." She said and took the money from him, taking a moment to gaze into his soft brown orbs and see the hurt and the pain that was in them and knowing she'd put it there.

She brushed her hand over his cheek and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Happy Anniversary Jack." She said softly and walked away before he could respond.

He watched her walk away and he knew why she'd left so quickly. Regardless of where he was going, whether it was to work for three days straight or just a quick trip to the corner for something, he always made sure he kissed her goodbye when he'd leave and tell her that he loved her and she didn't want to hear that from him tonight, in fact he couldn't recall the last time she'd actually said it back. He dropped some cash on the table to cover the bill and the tip and walked out of the restaurant and down the corridor to the club/bar that was fairly empty since it was still pretty early in the evening.

He sat at the corner of the bar and ordered a drink, not really in the mood to drink or get drunk, but not in the mood to sit by himself in a hotel room either, so he sat at the bar and played with his drink, listening to the music and watching the people. He'd been watching one person in particular, an attractive woman on the other side of the bar. He'd watched her turn down two potential suitors and the manner in which she quickly shot them down was entertaining to watch. He couldn't hear the come on lines the men were using on her, but he guessed they must've been pretty lame by the look on her face and then the way they'd walk away, looking shocked as if she were the first woman to dare resist the charm that typically made women instantly drop their panties.

He made eye contact with the bartender and tapped on his drink. While the bartender was making him a fresh drink he left for a moment to use the restroom. As he made his way back to his seat at the bar he noticed that the woman he'd been watching had taken the seat beside his and was paying the bartender for his drink. He immediately interrupted the transaction and dropped a twenty on the bar.

"Thanks, but I've got it." Jack said.

"Your wife probably doesn't appreciate women buying you drinks I guess?" She asked.

"I have no idea what my wife appreciates these days. I'm Jack by the way." He said and held his hand out.

"Pleased to meet you Jack, I'm assuming that since you haven't hit on me yet, that joining you for a drink is safe." She said and shook his hand.

"I suppose being married makes me safe." He mumbled.

"You aren't safe because you're married, you're safe because you're a nice guy." She said.

"How do you know that? I could be a serial killer for all you know." He said.

"I know a nice guy when I see one and you are a nice guy." She said.

"Maybe, but I'm really not in the mood to be safe or boring or even nice for that matter so maybe you really don't want to sit here with me." Jack suggested, his tone flat, disinterested.

"Well, you're also pretty hot, did I forget to mention that?" She said and smiled at him.

"Thanks I guess, but since we've already established that I'm married, what's the point?" Jack asked, his tone a little less flat and a little more interested, the change not going unnoticed by her.

"But not happily married." She said.

"What makes you say that?" He asked with a light laugh starting to realize that she was doing wonders to improve his mood.

"You're sitting alone in a bar on a Friday night and not the least bit nervous about being seen with me so you're obviously not expecting to meet up with your wife here. No, I'm guessing you're here because you don't want to be with your wife tonight." She said.

"Actually, she doesn't want to be with me." Jack told her making eye contact with her for the first time.

She could see the pain in his eyes, not the pain that comes from a broken heart, but the pain that comes from accepting failure and realizing it's not all that tragic when it probably should be.

"I do." She said in a seductive tone that rattled him for a moment.

"Excuse me?" Jack choked out, unsure how to respond.

"You heard me Jack. You act like a woman wanting to be with you is the most absurd idea ever." She giggled.

"I'm…..married." He repeated slowly.

"Yes, Jack I know, but you aren't happy. Life's too short to spend a minute of it unhappy, but if you aren't interested in having some fun with me tonight it's okay, just say so, but you were the one that said you aren't in the mood to be safe or nice or boring." She told him.

"What kind of fun did you have in mind?" He asked, still not sure if this beautiful woman was really offering what it sounded like she was offering.

"Well, we can go through the motions and drag it out, turn it into a long date of you buying me drinks and dancing and acting like you're trying to get to know me or we could both go upstairs and do what we both want to do." She said eliciting a light groan from him.

"Just like that, a few shared glances across a bar and you're ready to sleep with me. Sounds like a recipe for disaster." Jack offered with a low chuckle.

"If you fuck even half as good as you look, disaster works for me." She told him.

"You're serious aren't you?" He asked, taken back a bit by her bluntness.

"You're not interested?" She asked.

"I don't even know your name." He said.

"Names aren't important." She said.

"So how come I'm not getting shot down like those other guys that were trying to get into your pants?" He asked.

"Are you trying to get into my pants Jack?" She asked.

"No, but you seem intent on getting into mine." He chuckled.

"Not trying to get into my pants is exactly why I'm going to let you into them." She said.

"Just as long as I don't ask your name." He commented.

"If a name is really important to you Jack, just pick one." She told him.

"Just pick one?" He asked.

"Yeah, don't you have some fantasy girl you've always wanted to fuck senseless?" She asked and then smiled as a devilish grin spread across his face.

"You got quite a mouth on you." He laughed lightly.

She moved closer to him, her lips close to his ear while her hand moved slowly up his thigh in a teasing fashion, stopping at the top and moving toward the center, lightly squeezing a handful of him and whispering into his ear.

"Imagine my mouth on you." She said and felt him respond right before he took hold of her hand and moved it back to his thigh.

"Careful, I'm liable to take you up on your offer." He warned in a lusty tone.

"So what's stopping you Jack?" She said and grabbed another handful of him, caressing him gently and softly through the thin material of his slacks.

He froze for a moment, the feeling of her hand grabbing him where his wife never would anymore and enjoying it, ready to unzip him and go down on him right there at the bar. He pushed her hand away again and held onto it, slipping off the barstool and then helping her down.

"Let's go." Jack said, placing his hand on her lower back and leading her out of the bar.

He escorted her through the lobby to the elevators that led to the suites.

"Shouldn't we stop and get a room?" She asked.

"Already have one." He said and pulled her into the elevator with him, punching the number 31 and then wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into him.

He stared into her eyes for a moment as if he were searching for something, pushing the strands of hair away before lowering his head and covering her mouth with his, the kiss hot and passionate and unlike anything he'd felt or tasted in so long he was already beginning to drown in it. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. He glanced up to make sure they were on the correct floor, took her hand and led her out of the elevator and down the long hallway. He inserted the key card into the door and pushed it open, holding it while he allowed her to enter first.

She noticed the roses and champagne and the romantic feel of the room immediately and stopped in her tracks, turning to face him.

"This looks like the work of a man who loves his wife very much Jack, maybe this isn't a good idea." She suggested.

"It's the work of a pathetic man trying to recapture what's lost forever, not so much because he's head over heels in love, but because he's supposed to try to save his marriage." Jack told her, taking her by the hand and leading her deeper into the room.

"You did all this and she left you all alone in that bar?" She asked.

"No, she left me alone in the restaurant where I proposed to her. It's out first anniversary and probably our last. Can I ask you something and you promise not to get offended?" Jack asked.

"Sure, I guess." She said.

"You're not a prostitute are you?" Jack asked and noticed her expression go from shocked, to offended, to amused.

"Does it matter Jack?" She asked.

"Yes." He answered.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because I can get that anywhere and I'm not really interested in that." Jack told her.

"What are you interested in Jack?" She asked.

"I don't know, something exciting, real, someone that wants me and not because she's getting paid to want me or because it's a wifely duty." He replied.

She looked at him, understanding that this was a man that didn't do things like this, that he'd never considered cheating on his wife prior to her approaching him in that bar and most importantly that he needed a wild night of sex with no inhibitions, no guilt and no boundaries with a woman that wanted as much of him as he could give. She moved in on him and whispered in his ear.

"I want you Jack, all of you." She said and felt the bulge in the front of his pants grow larger.

She didn't have to encourage him further, any trepidations he had replaced by the aching need in his groin, the aching need that she wasted no time freeing and wrapping her luscious lips around, licking, sucking and pumping until he was pumped dry, leaving him stretched out on the sofa that was too short 

for his 6'2" frame, pants undone, his now flaccid penis tucked loosely back inside the opening in his pants and her slowly unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt.

His brain was fuzzy from the lack of oxygen, his body feeling a little weak from the explosion that had just occurred and the small beads of sweat that had collected on his forehead were beginning to dry and disappear. He watched her undressing him and a very small part of him thought he should probably stop her. However, the larger part of him that wanted this pushed those thoughts aside and let her continue on. She was in complete control and he was happy to relinquish all control to her, tired of always being in control, tired of always being the one to initiate sex and tired of feeling like he was being unreasonable for wanting to make love to the woman he'd promised to forsake all others for.

With the buttons to his shirt undone she pushed the shirt away from him and ran her hands over his chest and then moved forward, kissing her way up over the exposed flesh and to his mouth. They shared a deep, passionate kiss, tongues dueling slowly while his hands worked at the zipper on her dress, pulling it down her back slowly and slipping his large warm hands inside, moving them slowly over her soft flesh while unhooking her bra and then pulling out of the kiss and pushing her back so he could look at her. She was beautiful and she was looking at him with more hunger than his wife ever had and he guessed he should've felt some guilt for enjoying another woman in the same room he'd enjoyed his wife in, but he didn't.

He slowly slid the dress straps down her arms until the material was pooled around her waist before reaching up and sliding her bra straps over her shoulders and down her arms, allowing his fingers to glide down her arms slowly before moving his fingertips up over her now exposed stomach up to her breasts where he moved them with feather-like touches over her nipples, making them so hard he had to bite his bottom lip, resisting the urge to sit up and suck them into his mouth hard. Instead he cupped both hands over her breasts and massaged them gently while his thumb moved back and forth, keeping the little nubs hard and begging for his touch.

He stopped and sat up, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest, skin on skin, lips just inches apart, their skin hot with desire. He moved his mouth to her ear and licked the area just behind the lobe lightly, making her squirm and let go of a happy sigh.

"I just came in your mouth, I think I should know your name before I make you come in mine." He whispered in a soft, sexy tone and pushed her backward onto the cushions, making her whimper as the wetness flooded her center.

"Just go with it Jack and make me whoever you want me to be." She insisted.

If that was how she wanted to play this it was okay with him, he'd made one last attempt to make what they were doing less sorted then it actually was, to give her the opportunity to be more than a enjoyable fuck in a hotel room, to allow her to hear him whisper her name right before he came inside of her and he had every intention of being that irresponsible, his mind focused on nothing else but enjoying this woman and hopefully making her enjoy him.

He moved up onto his knees and finished peeling her clothes away, too eager and hungry for her to move them to the bed where he'd have more room to lay her out and enjoy every inch of her. There was time for that later, right now the only part of her he was interested in enjoying was splayed before him, the familiar odor of a woman hot and hungry for him hitting his nostrils and reawakening what she'd satisfied and put to sleep a few minutes ago. God she was so beautiful and so hot and her eyes were burning into his, pleading with him to soothe her ache.

His shirt was hanging off his shoulders and he shook it off, tossing it across the room and then grinning at her when she placed her foot at the top of his chest and let it glide slowly down, landing at his crotch, staying there and trying to sneak inside his opened pants. He took hold of her ankle and gently guided her leg to the back of the sofa, propping it up there and then slowly moving his lips over the inside of her 

leg, starting at the knee and then down the thigh, stopping just before he reached her pussy just long enough to push the other leg to the side so he'd have room to work.

He dropped his head between her legs and she let go of a lengthy moan as his mouth began to work its magic over her dripping center.

"Make me come Jack, if you make me come I might tell you my name." She pleaded with him.

He continued to lick and suck, having to hold her bucking hips down with one hand while the other hand found its way to her opening and penetrated her, making her cry out and clutch his head with both of her hands.

"So close Jack, so close, don't stop." She panted and then felt the release hit.

She let go of his head and held her own hair with one hand while the other made a fist and pounded into the back of the couch as she came hard, squirming and bucking beneath him while seeing nothing but bright flashes of color underneath her closed eyelids.

"Oh fuck me!" She screamed and felt him smile against her, pleased with himself.

When she stopped moving he moved his mouth away from her, wiped his face against the couch cushion and slowly moved up toward her, hovering over her dazed, flustered face waiting for her to open her eyes and when she did he locked his mouth over hers and kissed her deeply, pushing his tongue in and slowly engaging with hers, settling them both down and then finally pulling back, gazing into her eyes with such a comfortable, sated look she felt like she'd known him for years instead of a little over an hour.

"Well?" He asked.

"Well what?" She asked.

"Your name, you said if I made you come you'd tell me your name." He reminded her.

"I said I might, but I think it's better if you don't know. I think you need to fuck a nameless woman in a hotel room." She told him, grinning at him.

"I'm starting to think that maybe you need this as much or worse than I do? I think you've never done anything like this before and need to be a nameless woman getting fucked in a hotel room. You don't have to come clean, but just tell me if I'm close." Jack pushed.

"You're close." She admitted with the hint of a smile, but unable the hide the sadness that flashed in her eyes briefly.

"Okay." He said and smiled back at her, understanding that sometimes we all need to be somebody else.

He kissed her quickly once more and pulled himself up, reaching down and pulling her up with him. He grabbed the bottle of champagne, the two glasses, took hold of her hand and led her to large four person Jacuzzi that was embedded halfway into the floor of the room. He set the champagne and the glasses down, dropped the drain plug and began running water into the tub. He opened the two doors to the balcony to allow the night air to rush in and stripped out of his pants. He took hold of her hand and helped her step down into the tub that was quickly filling with water.

"It's too hot." She gasped and pulled her foot back.

He reached down and adjusted the water, grabbing the small bottle of bath oil and dumping it into the stream of water. They watched the tub fill, the aroma of the bath oil hitting their nostrils, the jets making a light layer of foam on the top of the water. He once again held her hand while she stepped into the tub 

and then followed, sitting beside her and pulling her close so that the back of her head was resting just below his shoulder.

They sat in the tub and sipped champagne and talked very little, neither wanting to personalize their fun, sexy evening. Instead they drank the cold, bubbly alcohol and kissed in-between drinks, enjoying the feel of their cold tongues tangling together in the middle of the hot steamy bath while the cool breeze from the open doors brushed over them. She let her hands roam over his firm body, finding his cock again and finding the urge to play with it irresistible.

"You want me bad don't you?" She asked closing her mouth over his while her hand firmly gripped his erection.

He returned the kiss with as much hunger and passion as she initiated it with, groaning and shifting his body slightly and then pulling her hand away when she squeezed him a little too hard. He brought her hand up to his shoulder, taking note of the apologetic look in her eyes and smiling before kissing her softly and pulling her closer.

"I do, I just haven't decided where or how yet?" He told her, his need evident in his voice.

"Really or have you just not decided if you're really capable of fucking one woman while you're married to another?" She asked.

"No, I think I pretty much made that decision when I let you put my dick in your mouth. That's kind of a point of no return don't you think?" He chuckled lightly.

"According to Bill Clinton it's not." She teased making him laugh.

They stepped out of the tub and he led her over to the bed, their bodies still wet from the bath, her skin warm and fresh and more than he could stand any longer, grabbing her in one quick move, sliding her leg up over his hip and driving himself into her as they stood beside the bed. He quickly moved toward the wall, lifting her and using the wall to support her, the action driving him in deeper.

"Fuck me hard Jack, please." She said as she wrapped her legs and arms around him.

She held tightly to him as his almost angry thrusts jarred her body upward, the line between pleasure and pain coming close to being crossed, but for the moment, it was all pleasure and she came hard, her legs clamping around him tighter as she let go of a string of profanity that made him groan and drive himself in and hold it, letting her ride out her orgasm and allowing him to regain control of the situation.

He lifted her off of him, and he took hold of himself, his head swollen and purple and ready to explode any second.

"Lay down." He ordered in a low, husky tone.

She did as he asked, laying on the bed sideways and bending her knees. He positioned himself between her knees and held his throbbing cock over her stomach.

"Finish it." He told her, his eyes dark with need.

"You finish it." She told him.

He took hold of her hand and placed it over his cock. She began stroking him gently and he closed his eyes, ready to enjoy the ride. He felt her tug on him and guide her to her entrance.

"Finish it Jack. Fuck me like you know you want to Jack and come inside me." She told him.

It was all he was waiting to hear, his plans to fill her with his juices hadn't changed, but he'd never do that without her permission and was willing to spill himself all over her stomach instead. He scooted her around until she was lying on the bed the correct way, her head resting on the pillows and her luscious, hot, sweaty body stretched out in front of him. He spread her legs and played with her pussy with his fingers, dragging it out and juicing her up more than she already was.

"You've never had a one night stand have you?" He asked and pushed a finger inside her.

"No, oh fuck." She moaned.

"You've never let a man go down on you and play with your pussy like this on a first date have you?" He asked his tone becoming demanding again.

"You've never cheated on a girlfriend, much less your wife before have you?" She said and then arched her back when he added a second finger.

"I've never been tempted by anything as sexy and beautiful as you." He admitted and dropped his mouth down, sucking her clit into his mouth.

"Oh god." She moaned, grabbing two handfuls of the comforter that covered the bed and digging her toes in, his mouth and his fingers about to bring her over the edge again.

He sucked and licked and teased with the tip of his tongue and when he felt her starting to clench around the three fingers he was digging deep into her with he stopped and pulled his mouth and hand away, laughing lightly at the way she whimpered when he did so.

"Beg me. Use the profanity that you never used before tonight and beg me to fuck you." He said.

"You think you have me all figured out don't you?" She said.

He hovered over her, his need poking at her, his mouth next to her ear, his hot breath starting to come in short pants.

"I don't have a clue, but we're both having our fantasies right? I'm getting to fuck a beautiful stranger because she wants me to and you're…..what are you getting?" He asked

"I'm getting the same thing Jack." She told him and drew his mouth to hers.

He kissed her with a wet, hungry mouth while she pulled her legs back and used her hands to put him into position. She placed her hands firmly on his ass cheeks and pulled him forward.

"Now." She said as he sank into her warm, slippery opening.

He started out slow, taking his time, fucking her with long, deliberate strokes while his mouth moved from one breast to the other, licking, sucking and gently biting each nipple, his excitement growing with each passing moment. He pushed himself up, arms flexed and increased his thrusts, hitting her hard, the sound of skin slapping against skin and two people moaning, groaning and grunting as their need to release became painful, so painful insanity would consume them if relief didn't come soon and then with one final thrust he held his position and jerked against her bringing her over the edge with him, their two centers pushed together tightly, grinding against one another, while their upper bodies clung to each other, covered with sweat.

He rolled off of her and onto his back, breathing hard, feeling like he'd just fucked her for a solid hour when in reality the actual intercourse consisted of minutes. His body and his mind were exhausted and even though a part of him wanted to rest for five minutes and fuck her again he knew he'd be asleep in five minutes, the alcohol and the sex more effective than any sedative or sleeping pill he'd ever run 

across. He felt her crawl up next to him and find a comfortable spot on his chest, her leg draped over his crotch and upper thigh, a move that was as personal as they'd allowed things to get the entire evening. He draped his arm over the soft, silky body that lay draped over his chest and closed his eyes.

"We're going to get cold eventually." He mumbled.

"So, we'll have to figure out ways to warm up." She said, her fingers dancing slowly through his chest hairs, her tone suggesting she was as close to nodding off as he was.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked.

"Okay." She said.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Kate." She said sleepily.

"Goodnight Kate."

"Goodnight Jack."


	2. Chapter 2

He could hear his pager going off, but his brain was still trapped too deep in a sleepy fog for the familiar noise to register as something he needed to get up and attend to. His body was physically exhausted after being woke up for more sex or being the one that was waking up and initiating more sex off and on all through the night.

He finally opened his eyes, took a moment to focus and then looked toward the irritating sound. He sighed heavily, moved off the bed and walked across the room to retrieve the pager from the table where he'd placed it the night before, right before he found himself being swallowed up by the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. He looked at the number on the pager and immediately began searching for his cell phone, but not before glancing over at the bed and noticing that the stranger he'd spent the night fucking was gone.

"Damn." He mumbled to himself a little disappointed that she didn't stick around long enough for him to at least buy her breakfast.

He found his phone and called in. Jack was a doctor, a gifted spinal surgeon who spent a great deal of his time doing what he loved the most, working. The hospital he worked at had been paging him for over an hour, an accident victim with neck and back injuries had been brought in overnight. He hung up with the hospital and then looked down at his phone. He needed to call his wife and tell her he wouldn't be home for awhile.

He needed to tell her he wouldn't be home ever, that he'd just cheated on her and she needed to leave him, had to leave him because he'd just done what he swore he never would, what he'd watched his own father do for as long as he could remember. While he felt a twinge of guilt over it, he knew that he didn't feel guilty enough, that if she'd still been in the bed when he woke up he most likely would've fucked her one more time before feeding her breakfast. However, Jack was still confused about his relationship with Sarah and he had no desire to hurt her or be cruel to her, the part of him that would probably always love her keeping him from doing what he knew had to be done. He punched in her number and waited and wasn't the least bit surprised when it went straight to voice mail.

"Hey, it's me, I've got an emergency at the hospital. I'll call you later." He said and clicked the phone off.

He took a quick shower and dressed in the clothes he'd worn the night before, noticing that they smelled of cologne, women's perfume and sex. He made a mental note to go straight to the surgeon's locker room, take another shower and change into a pair of hospital scrubs before seeing any patients, but especially before going home to his wife. He clipped the pager onto his belt, shoved his wallet into his back pocket and reached into his front pocket to make sure his car keys were there. His fingers brushed over what felt like a business card and he pulled it out. The card was branded with the logo of one of the city's many realtors, with the name Kate Austen below it. He studied the card for a moment and then turned it over. She'd written a brief message there.

_Jack, I had a great time last night, but didn't see any sense in sticking around for the morning after awkwardness. I put my number in your cell phone under "K". If you ever feel the urge to escape from your reality again give me a call. Kate_

He caught himself smiling and shook his head as if that would erase the naughty thoughts that had just filled every vacant crevice of his brain and probably several crevices that weren't vacant. He noticed his hands were moist with sweat and quickly ripped the card into several small pieces and dropped it into the ice bucket that now held nothing but the watery remnants of the ice that had filled it the night before.

He flipped his phone open and searched through his address book and there it was, just as the note said. He held his thumb over the delete option for a few seconds, struggling with it, knowing he should delete her number and forget about her, but he couldn't do it. He returned the phone to the main menu, closed it and shoved it into his front pocket unsure if he'd ever actually call her, but not willing to eliminate the possibility completely.

Jack spent the next week going about his normal routine, normal for him being long hours at the hospital and going home to a plate of food in the microwave and very little conversation with his wife. She'd either be busy grading the papers of her elementary age students, reading a book, talking on the phone or playing solitaire on the computer, anything but sitting with him or talking with him or doing anything else with him for that matter.

He was driving home from work earlier than usual, tired and wishing he hadn't promised Sarah he'd accompany her to the dinner with casual friends she'd committed them to. These friends were so casual he wasn't sure he'd ever met them, but it seemed important to her and if going along with what was a fairly simple request might get them on a path to some sort of reconciliation he was willing to try, even though it seemed like the willingness to try had been grossly one-sided the last few months.

He'd exited the freeway, an accident making it impossible to get very far, and was traveling down one of the area's side streets. He noticed the sign and before he realized what he was doing he found himself entering a neighborhood, a very affluent neighborhood, one Sarah had nagged at him several times to consider purchasing a home in. He followed the signs down the long winding road until he reached the house. There it was, her name perched above the large sign of the realtor/brokerage that was selling the home. There was an open house that still had about 30 minutes of browsing time available. He parked his car and stared at the sign.

"What are you doing Jack? She's working and you're supposed to be meeting your wife." He mumbled to himself.

He finally exited the car and walked up the long driveway to the front door. He entered the house and wondered immediately if he'd ever make enough money to afford something as pretentious. He saw her come around the corner and felt his mouth go dry and his palms become wet. She looked shocked at first and then smiled, realizing he was as lost at the moment as he was the night she'd met him in the bar.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey, um, so this is what you do huh?" He asked, shoving his hands into his pants pockets.

"Yep, this is it. Are you looking for a house Jack?" She asked relatively sure that he wasn't.

"If I were, I think this would be a little out of my price range." He answered and laughed lightly.

"So, are you just one of those people that likes to look at big houses?" She asked.

"No, I was driving home and I saw the sign and it's kind of strange because I never take that road, but an accident on the freeway forced me to find an alternate route." He admitted.

"So, I guess you got the note I left you." She said.

"Yeah, still got the number in my cell phone too." He replied nervously.

"What do you want Jack?" She asked.

"You." He answered honestly.

"You sure about that?" She asked.

He moved closer to her, pulling her toward him, placing his hands on her lower back and looking into her eyes, not sure what he was hoping to see or what he was hoping she would see, but the move seeming to relax the awkwardness between them.

"No, I'm not sure about anything." He said softly with a hint of lustfulness.

She gently pulled away from him, took hold of his hand and began showing him the house, something he really wasn't interested in, but she looked so sexy doing it, he went along for the ride. She led him up the staircase and down a long hallway describing all the different bedrooms and bathrooms and how the house was perfect for a large family and then they reached what looked like a closet, but when she opened it he saw it contained another staircase, a narrower one and he wondered how many floors the house had. She saw the puzzled look on his face and smiled at him.

"It used to be an attic, but the owners finished it and turned it into a wonderful guest room. Come on." She encouraged.

He took the lead and she followed closing the door behind them, a move that didn't go unoticed by him. At the top of the stairs was a decent sized room furnished with a bed and dresser and there was also and bathroom attached. She led him over to the bed and sat him down, placing her hands on his shoulders, looking down at him with shimmering green eyes that were at the moment shimmering with desire, desire that apparently was all for him.

"Kate, I didn't come in here with sex on my mind." He protested.

"What did you have in mind Jack?" She asked and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"I'm not sure, I just kind of ended up here. I guess a part of me just wanted to see you again." He said.

She slid her hands down the front of his shirt slowly letting them land on the bulge that was forming in the front of his pants. She grabbed him through the material and smiled at him.

"Is this the part of you that wanted to see me again Jack?" She asked in the same seductive tone she'd used on him in the bar that night.

He suddenly found himself unable to speak, all the blood suddenly running to the area where her hand was, his brain focused solely on what would come next as he felt his belt being unfastened followed by the button and zipper that was holding him back. He felt her reach inside and pull him out through the opening in his boxers and before he had a chance to protest, not that he would've, he felt her hot, wet mouth on him again. Just like that he'd succombed to her sexy advances, any control he might've exhibited in his every day life went out the window the minute this woman so much as looked at him.

He felt like he should stop her, like they should talk or something before he fucked her again, but it all felt so good that there was no way he was going to stop what was happening so he relaxed and he watched her swallow his hardening cock, watched her make eye contact with him while she slowly ran her tongue up the length of it, licking the tip with her tongue before plunging down on top of him again. He was going to come any second and he didn't want to. As much as he enjoyed what she was doing to him he wanted to fuck her. He pulled gently on the hair on her head.

"Kate stop, please." He pleaded.

She pulled away from him and stood beside the bed, her cheeks flushed with desire and her legs a little shakey, not from nerves, but from anticipation.

"Undress me Jack and not just with your eyes." She insisted.

"You aren't afraid someone will walk in on us?" He asked.

"Are you?" She shot back.

She had an answer, a quick come back for everything. He didn't know if she was every man's fantasy, but she was definitely his, every sexy, daring, teasing thing about her bringing out every bit of naughtiness he had in him. He stood and approached her, his cock sticking out of the front of his pants, bobbing up and down as he moved closer, finally pulling her into him and trapping the hard appendage between them, making both of them let go of a groan that signaled the beginning of what would turn into another lustful, eager, almost angry sexual encounter.

He made quick work of her clothes, coming close to popping a couple of buttons on her shirt and actually tearing her panties slighty as he impatiently moved them out of his way. There'd been no sweet talk, no talk at all other than her demanding him to fuck her hard, which was a good thing because he was entirely too worked up for slow and gentle. With her clothes out of the way he quickly removed his, pulling her close and feeling her lift her leg around his hip trying to force him to enter her.

"No, get on the bed." He demanded and pushed her leg down.

They both looked at the dark bed coverings and realized the evidence they'd leave behind might get her fired so he took her down to the carpeted floor, carpet light enough to absorb his semen without anyone being the wiser. The evidence of their secret meeting, their inappropriate behavior, the result of what this woman could do to him would be left behind as some kind of kinky or bizarre proof that he was desirable to women, just not the one he was married to and he liked the sortedness of it probably more than he should.

He placed her feet on his shoulders and moved his head between her legs, drinking her up, her taste and smell intoxicating as he completely lost his mind in her and worked his mouth over her until he felt her toes digging into shoulders and the heard her let go, completely uninhibited, just a woman who apparently needed to engage in raw, hungry sex as much as he did.

He slipped her feet off of his shoulders and looked down at her. She reached up and pulled him forward, onto her, eagerly sucking his entire mouth into hers, feeling his cock find it's way to her opening and entering her with little or no effort, stretching her walls and filling her up, holding his position and holding her, their bodies pressed together and him kissing her as if she were the only woman in the world. It was an extremely intimate moment, too intimate and she pushed at his chest, lightly.

"So are we going to fuck or what?" She asked shooting him a devilish grin and pulling her legs up higher, driving him in deeper.

"Maybe, maybe not. How bad do you want it Kate?" He asked, his eyes so dark it would've been frightening if she didn't already know it was a look of extreme passion, but otherwise harmless.

"I want it real bad Jack, I want it hard and fast. Can you do that or is your cock too ready to explode to make it good for me." She taunted, making him groan.

He began his thrusts and she immediately began moaning slow steady streams of profanity, instantly encouraging him to go harder and then demanding he go harder. He'd never been with a woman that could make him this crazy, that could make him wonder where the line between pleasure and pain was and if he was capable of actually crossing it, pounding into her like a jackhammer and her begging him to go faster, harder and deeper. It was insane, the most insanely good sex he'd ever experienced and when he came he lost the ability to breathe for a moment, listening to her scream as she came too, her hands gripping what hair he had on his head and pulling as hard as she could while her legs wrapped tightly around him.

He stayed inside her, the muscles in his body tight and aching. He felt her legs release and slide down and away from his body and knew from their previous encounter that this was his queue to pull out and away from her. He rolled onto his back on the floor beside her, his body covered with sweat and his brain telling the rest of him it was time to sleep. He was close to nodding off when he heard his cell phone ringing and he was immediately back into his reality.

"Shit! Sarah." He groaned and moved quickly to find his pants and the ringing phone.

She watched him scramble for his phone, the naughty, sexual animal gone, the emotionally drained husband returned.

"Sarah, god I'm sorry. I'm with a patient. I'll leave right now." He lied.

She watched him, unsure of what the woman on the other end of the phonne was saying, but the look on his face suggested it was something he'd heard before and too many times. He closed the phone without saying any kind of goodbye, taking on the look of a scolded puppy, so sad and beaten down that it nearly got to her. She quickly shook him off and sat up.

"So you're a doctor?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, I'm a really good doctor and a really lousy husband." He mumbled and began dressing.

She approached him, put her arms around his neck, pressing her naked body into his and kissed him long and hard.

"You're also a tiger in the bedroom and if you ever want to play doctor with me, you've got my number. Let yourself out, I'm going to freshen up a bit." She told him, slipping away, grabbing her clothes and disappearing into the bathroom attached to the room.

He watched her disappear into the bathroom and then finished dressing, knowing he should feel like shit for doing this, for screwing this woman while his wife was at home waiting for him to take her to dinner, but he didn't. He let himself out of the home, climbed into his car and drove home. He entered the home, brushing by her quickly so she couldn't smell the sex on him and headed straight to the shower to wash away the evidence. They were late for their dinner with the casual friends, but Jack always made them late to everything, a simple fact of their married life that she made sure she reminded him of frequently.


	3. Chapter 3

It was Saturday and it had been two weeks since Jack had his second tryst with the beautiful woman from the hotel bar. He struggled with it and even though she was something he wanted very much, he did his best to put her out of his mind. He decided he was going to stop cheating on his wife and make one last attempt to save his marriage. He had taken Sarah out to dinner and they'd come home full and lazy. She disappeared into the bedroom to soak in a bath and he relaxed on the couch, never bothering to turn on the television. He let his head relax back and closed his eyes, not opening them again until he felt her sit beside him. He turned his head to the side, took one look at her and sat up immediately.

"Wow." Was all he could manage.

"You don't think it's tacky?" She asked.

"No, it's hot, you look great." He told her as his eyes moved over her scantly clad body, the sexy lingerie she was wearing barely covering her.

"You haven't looked at me like you're looking at me right now in so long Jack." She said.

"You don't allow me to look at you Sarah, when I try you make me feel like I'm a pervert for wanting to see my wife naked." He said and moved his hand lightly over her bare thigh.

"I don't always feel like being an object of desire Jack, why is that so hard for you to accept?" She asked.

"Because I love you, all of you, your brain and your body and you used to crave my touch." He defended himself.

"Jack you aren't a 20 year old college boy that can't control his urges." She said.

"I'm not?" He teased.

"So does this sexy lingerie turn you on? Does it make you want to make love to me?" She asked.

"Sarah, I like it, but you don't have to wear it to make me want you, I always want you." He said.

"You haven't tried to touch me since our fight in the restaurant Jack." She accused.

"I was leaving you alone, giving you space, allowing you to initiate sex if you wanted it. I'm trying here Sarah." He said.

"How do you feel about a baby Jack." She blurted out.

"What? Why would you…..are you pregnant Sarah?" He asked in an accusing manner.

"No Jack and I guess it's a good thing I'm not." She said and tried to get up, but he pulled her back down.

"Don't run away. Stay here and tell me why you think a couple that hasn't slept together in two months should consider bringing a baby into the picture." Jack said.

"Maybe a baby would bring us back together Jack. It's worth a try. Do you want to try?" She asked.

"Sarah, don't you think we should stabilize our relationship and then have a baby, not have a baby in an attempt to stabilize the relationship?" He asked.

"I don't know what to think Jack." She said sadly.

"If a baby is important to you Sarah then we should talk about it and consider it because that's what marriages are about, but I don't think you should approach me in sexy lingerie and blurt out that we need to make a baby to save our marriage." He said.

"It's okay Jack, we shouldn't discuss it at all if a baby is only important to me." She said and left the room.

He dropped his head back onto the couch, frustrated and wondering what had just taken place. They'd mentioned children once or twice, but never seriously and all of the sudden she's ready to go for it and angry with him because he wasn't eager to go along. She saw children every day that were caught in the middle of their parents' ugly divorces so why would she want to bring a child into a marriage that was obviously in trouble. Was he over-reacting? Was this maybe his last chance to save his marriage and he was being too analytical about it? He liked kids and liked the idea of having one or two of his own, so was her idea really that crazy if it got them communicating again, both in and out of the bedroom? He sighed heavily and sat up. He walked into the bedroom and sat beside her on the bed.

"Let's do it. Let's make a baby." He said.

She rolled over and looked at him, his eyes were warm and sincere and she knew she had him. She put her arms up, letting her hands rest on his shoulders and he leaned in to kiss her, taken by surprise when she hungrily deepened the kiss and pulled him down onto the bed with her, tugging at his shirt in an attempt to undress him.

She hadn't responded to him like this in so long he wasn't sure if he remembered all the right pleasure spots, but decided he was going to have a good time rediscovering them and hoped she wouldn't be disappointed. His excitement and heartfelt happiness over his wife responding to him again would be short-lived though. Once she had him undressed and lying beside her she handed him a tube of lubricant.

"What's this for?" He asked.

"You're a doctor, do you really need an explanation?" She asked and giggled at him.

"You don't want to go with natural lubrication?" He asked in a sexy, lustful tone, handing her the lube back and moving over her, sliding down her body, attempting to move between her legs.

"You don't have to do that Jack." She said as she felt his hot breath at her center.

"I want to." He said and began moving his mouth over her pussy, feeling her squirm, resist and tighten up, not responding to him at all, not even trying to enjoy it.

She pushed his head away and encouraged him to move up to face her. She held the lube up in front of him again.

"Let's just make love Jack." She said.

He would've liked to have told her no, that he was no longer in the mood, but the truth was, he still loved her on some level and he was hard and ready and he thought that maybe if he did what she wanted and made it good for her, it would be a step in the right direction. So he took the lube from her, put some on his fingers and inserted them into her opening starting with just one and then slowly adding a second until he was sure things were nice and slippery and loosened up enough for him to enter her without hurting her. He pumped himself a few times to spread the lube over his cock and put his tip at her opening, pushing in slowly until he was finally in all the way.

"That's really tight, are you okay?" He asked not sure if he was experiencing pleasure or pain at the moment.

"Yes, I'm fine." She said and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her, not allowing him much room to move.

They had intercourse and he finally gave up trying to make her come and let go of his own release. She attempted to fake an orgasm at that point and he went along with the game, kissing her while he emptied himself into her, praying that his little swimmers would miss their target, this being the most clinical, unloving sex he'd ever experienced with her or any woman for that matter. In that moment he not only didn't want to have a baby with her, he didn't want to be trapped inside of her any longer than necessary, pulling out before the last of his ejaculate had spilled, the last of it dribbling onto the sheets below her.

He quickly moved out of the bed and into the bathroom feeling somewhat used and more than a little freaked out. Had his marriage really been reduced to this, to her just lying beneath him waiting for him to finish so he might impregnate her. He cleaned himself up and exited the bathroom, walking straight to the closet and dressing in a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt and then exiting, stopping beside the bed to transfer everything from the pockets of the pants he'd been wearing into the jeans he was wearing now.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"My pager went off earlier, I need to go check on one of my patients." He lied.

"Jack it's nine o'clock." She complained.

He sat on the side of the bed and began putting his sneakers on. He looked at her and he felt guilty for needing to get as far away from her as he could, but the sex they'd just shared had made his skin crawl and he needed a beer or two or ten. He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"It's early Sarah and my patient is in pain. I'll be back later." He continued to lie.

He didn't give her a chance to argue or pick a fight with him. He left the bedroom, grabbed his car keys from the dish in the living room and left, feeling like he might lose the ability to breathe if he didn't get away. He drove across the freeway, no idea where he was going, just driving. He replayed the robot sex over in his head, shuddered and decided to try not to think about it anymore, searching his mind for something happy or fun or even medical, he didn't really care at this point.

He turned the radio on and began punching the buttons, searching for some silly song he could sing along with, anything to make him stop obsessing over the creepy, bad sex he'd just had with his wife and that's when she came flooding back into his mind, the beautiful woman that had seduced him in the hotel bar and at the open house, the woman he'd had the best sex of his life with, Kate. He picked up his cell phone and began punching through the list in the address book until he found the number listed as "K". He hesitated for moment and then punched the dial button. Her ringtone was the Pina Colada song and he couldn't help but laugh. She answered before he had to sit through a second chorus of it and his tongue suddenly felt like it was too big for his mouth.

"Hello?" Her voice came through again sounding a little annoyed.

"Kate?" He finally managed.

"Jack?" She asked sounding less annoyed.

"Yeah, uh, I'm sorry for calling so late." He babbled on.

"Late? It's nine o'clock on a Saturday night. Are you really that old Jack?" She asked as direct and confident as the night she'd approached him in the bar and he relaxed and smiled.

"No, I guess not." He chuckled.

"So what's up?" She asked.

"Are you busy? Want to meet me for a drink?" He asked.

"I don't know Jack, when I never heard from you I decided that it was probably for the best." She said trying to sound disinterested even though the sound of his voice and the idea of him was making her tingle in all the right places.

"I know. I've made it a point to make sure you didn't hear from me, but I think I've probably been stupid." He admitted.

"You think, but you aren't sure." Kate said.

"No, I'm not, is that a problem? It's just a drink Kate. I'm not asking you to come out and fall in love with me or anything." He said.

"Same bar we met at?" She asked.

"Sure." He said.

"I'll see you in about 20 minutes." She said and clicked the phone off.


	4. Chapter 4

She stood just inside the entrance to the bar and scanned the room looking for him. She spotted him sitting in a booth in the corner and watched him for a moment. He was nursing a beer and looking as gorgeous and drop dead sexy as he did the night she spotted him and decided she wanted to sleep with him. Seducing a stranger in a bar was something she'd never done before, but so far she hadn't regretted giving herself to him so openly and freely, no emotional regrets and certainly no physical regrets. The sex with him had been incredibly satisfying, the kind of good that makes you crave more.

Kate had been in relationships, had done the dating routine, the act like a lady and make him work for it routine, but the results were always the same, the guy would turn out to be of the jerk variety and she'd end up alone and trying to pick up the pieces. She knew Jack was suffering emotionally, trapped in a bad marriage with a woman who apparently no longer wanted him sexually. She couldn't imagine how any woman could look at him and not want him, but she also knew that men, even the sexy ones, can become extremely unattractive and undesirable in an every day routine that allows them to show their true colors, their unattractive habits and often an ugliness that makes them repulsive.

Was that why Jack's wife no longer wanted him? Had she seen his unattractive and repulsive side? Did he have an unattractive and repulsive side? She had no idea what made Jack tick, she hadn't allowed herself to know Jack on a personal level and she had no desire to let things get personal or intimate, her last relationship ending so badly she decided that she was going to just enjoy men for the one thing most of them could get right or at least partially right.

Jack had been her first experience as the new her, the wild, completely uninhibited her that just wanted to enjoy some recreational sex, no strings, no promises and if she did it right, no broken heart at the end. She noticed him sitting at the bar that night, moody, married and looking lonely. Her instincts told her that he'd be safe, that he'd be good and unselfish in bed and that hurting people wasn't something he made a habit of doing and her instincts had been right. He had a kindness and caring about him that managed to seep out even when they were in the middle of something so raw and wild that suggesting there was any caring involved would've been ridiculous, but it was there, she felt it and it unnerved her a little, but not enough to run from him. The escape each provided the other was too good, too intoxicating and too addictive to run from.

She stopped daydreaming and entered the bar, made her way over to the booth where he was sitting and slid in beside him, a bold move that got all of his attention and set the tone, letting him know right off the bat that she didn't come out just to have a drink with him.

"Hey." She said, shooting him a smile.

"Hey, so what are you drinking?" He asked, his tone suggesting he might not be as eager to jump right into another sexual romp as she was.

She picked up the tone, he wasn't depressed or moody, he was in the mood to talk and while she had no intention of sharing anything personal with him, she was willing to listen.

"Beer is fine. So what happened Jack? Fight with the wife?" She asked.

Jack signaled to the waitress to bring them two more beers and then stretched his arm over the top of the booth, relaxing into it and allowing his legs to stretch out under the table.

"What makes you think something happened?" He asked.

"Because you call me out of the blue on a Saturday night and you're sitting here staring into that beer like it's going to reveal the cure for cancer." She teased making him laugh lightly.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said flatly.

"Really? You look to me like a man that wants to talk." She said.

"Why do we have to talk about me? Let's talk about you Kate." He suggested.

"No, we aren't going to talk about me either." She told him.

"Then I guess talking is off the table." He chuckled.

"Well then let's go upstairs and have some fun." She said and watched the grin spread across his face.

He was completely fascinated and amused with her. She excited him, excited him in ways he didn't know he could be excited and he knew that the more he had of her the more he was going to want, that the moment he started this affair he was hooked and regardless of how hard he tried to forget about her, she was always right there, just below the surface.

"So what, we spend the rest of the night fucking like rabbits and then you go back to your life and I go back to mine?" He asked.

"Works for me." She said.

"I don't believe you." He challenged.

"You don't believe what?" She countered.

"I don't believe it works for you. I believe you work very hard at making it work for you. Why is that Kate? Why would such a fun and beautiful woman want to spend her Saturday night in a hotel room with me when she could have any man in the world?" He pushed.

"Why would a man like you think that way, as if spending a night with you is scraping the bottom of the barrel. Maybe I like being with you, did you ever consider that?" She asked.

"You like sneaking around and getting nothing from me but sex?" He asked.

She turned sideways and looked at him, finding the conversation amusing since typically it would be the woman having these types of issues.

"Jack, we're sitting in a crowded bar sharing one side of a booth. We aren't exactly making out, but we aren't exactly sneaking either. Do you not want to hide Jack? Do you want to do me right here and risk getting caught?" She taunted as she let her hand glide lightly up and down his thigh.

He clamped his hand over hers, trapping it over his leg, her teasing already making him hard. He moved her hand away and let his own hand find her thigh, the short skirt she was wearing allowing his fingers to find their way to his desired target easily, letting go of a lustful sigh when he hit the target.

"No panties?" He whispered and closed his mouth over hers.

She could feel his long, warm fingers gently spreading her, finding her clit and rubbing while his tongue pushed inside her mouth hungrily and she wrapped her arms around his neck, scooting closer to him, draping one leg over his thigh, spreading herself for him, pulling out of the kiss and resting her chin on his shoulder, her mouth next to his ear.

"Make me come right here in this booth Jack." She said and then whimpered as she felt him penetrate her with one of his long, probing fingers.

"You like it when I play with your pussy don't you?" He breathed heavily, pulling his finger back out and through her crease, spreading her wetness over her.

"You like it when I let your cock hit the back of my throat don't you?" She shot back, both of them so turned on they had become oblivious to their surroundings, but were brought back down to earth by the waitress clearing her throat loudly.

Jack looked up and smiled at the girl, reaching into his pocket and tossing a twenty dollar bill at her.

"Keep the change." He said and turned his attention back to Kate.

He swallowed her up in another deep, hungry kiss and pushed three fingers inside of her, fucking her furiously with them, quick and rough per her demands in-between kisses, their noises mixing in with the rest of the noises in the bar, no one other than the waitress noticing what they were doing in the corner booth of the crowded bar. She came quickly, panting into his mouth, begging him to really fuck her and him using every bit of control he had to keep from pulling his cock out and allowing her to mount him right there in the booth.

"Let's go upstairs Jack, I already got us a room." She mumbled into his mouth.

He didn't argue that it was his responsibility to pay for the room, he was ready to explode inside the confines of his jeans and arguing over male ego issues was out of the question. They exited the bar quickly and found the nearest elevator. She punched the number to the top floor and the doors closed. He looked at her incredulously.

"The penthouse?" He asked.

"One of the perks of working for one of wealthiest brokerages in the city." She told him and began unfastening his pants.

"Kate wait, what if this thing stops and somebody gets on." He protested and pushed her hands away.

"Then I guess they'll get to see me sucking your cock." She told him, her hand reengaging with his zipper and releasing him before he could object again.

The elevator slowly climbed to the top while she slid down to her knees and took his throbbing head into her mouth, sucking and licking and smacking, turning his legs to jelly as he came quickly, filling her mouth with his hot semen, his last drop spilling just before the elevator reached its destination and the doors opened.

They stumbled out of the elevator, his recently satisfied cock still hanging out of his pants and her digging through her purse for the key card. They entered the penthouse and he headed straight for the bottle of champagne that was chilling in the living room. She sat on the couch and he looked at her, his eyes hungry and demanding.

"Let's go out on the balcony." He told her, holding his hand out for her to take.

"What for?" She asked.

"You're so bad Kate, giving me head in an elevator where anyone could've caught us so I'm going to fuck you in front of the entire city." He told her and she felt her already wet crotch become wetter.

They walked out onto the balcony and he popped the cork on the champagne and took a long drink straight from the bottle and then handed it to her. She took a drink and handed it back. He sat down on one of the chairs and looked at her. He patted his leg and she joined him, sitting on his lap and wrapping her arm around his neck. He reached up and began unbuttoning her blouse, taking his time, needing some time to recharge. With all the buttons undone he moved her body around until she was facing him and straddling his lap, her short skirt sliding up to accommodate the spreading of her thighs, her bare butt sitting on his legs and her pussy visible to him.

"I don't know what your game is Kate, but god damn I love it." He told her his fingers gliding over the exposed flesh of her thighs

"What do you mean? What game?" She asked.

"This game, this hot, uninhibited woman that wants to make me believe she always behaves in such an illicit manner when I can tell that it's the first time you've ever let some guy finger fuck you in a crowded bar or the first time you've ever gone down on a man in an elevator." He said.

"Are you complaining Jack?" She asked.

"Hell no, I'm having the time of my life. I haven't come that fast since I was 15 and Denise Shapiro went down on me while we were supposed to be studying in my bedroom." He chuckled.

"Aw, was that your first blow job?" Kate teased.

"Yeah and my last from her, she was so pissed off over getting a mouthful of me." He laughed.

"You've never had a woman go down on you in an elevator though have you?" She asked.

"No, that was a first for me too. You're unlike any woman I've ever known." He told her, his eyes staring into hers, no longer hungry and full of lust, but warm and caring and she immediately shook him off, lunging forward into him and kissing him, rubbing her crotch over the opening in his pants.

Jack noticed it, he always noticed it, her need to keep a barrier between them and the first couple of times it didn't matter to him because he wasn't overly eager to break the barrier down either, but he knew he couldn't keep this up, he liked her and believed there was so much more to her than what she'd shown so far.

Her rubbing up against him was once again removing his need to think and to analyze and to care on a level deeper than the need to get his rocks off though. She brought a hunger out of him that he wasn't aware existed within him and he wondered if maybe he did the same for her, but only briefly, his hardening dick and her soft sexy voice telling him how bad she wanted him to fuck her while she moved her wet crotch up and down over him wiped away his ability to think about anything but doing exactly what she wanted.

He lifted her off of his lap and stood. He pulled his shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the ground and then pushed his jeans and underwear down his legs, kicking them off and then looked at her with dark, focused eyes, eyes that were focused on fucking her senseless and nothing else. He finished removing her shirt and bra and moved his hands over her breasts, pinching the nipples in his fingertips. She reached behind her to unzip her skirt and he stopped her.

"Leave it on." He told her and then took hold of her hand.

He led her over to the railing that surrounded the balcony and turned her around. He pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her from behind, letting her take in the view of the city lights below them while slowly moving his hand down, slipping it between her legs and penetrating her with just one finger this time. She pushed herself backward into him and opened up for him, moaning as he fucked her slowly with his finger, pushing it in as far as he could and then pulling out and up through her crease.

"You're so wet Kate." He groaned.

"I want you're cock Jack." She all but begged.

"Where do you want it?" He asked in a husky tone.

"In me Jack, I want it in me." She pleaded.

He pulled his hand away and took hold of her wrists, pulling her body forward until she gripped the railing. He moved back some and lifted her skirt up, her bottom exposed to him. She felt him put himself into position and then felt him bury himself inside her vagina in one quick thrust and she grabbed onto the railing tight, the sudden intrusion both shocking and exciting.

"Oh my god Jack, that feels incredible." She groaned.

"I told you I was going to fuck you in front of the entire city. Think I can make you scream loud enough for them to hear you?" He told her, holding onto her hips and thrusting in and out of her at a rapid pace.

She held onto the railing, her breasts bobbing freely in the wind, looking out over the entire city while he pounded into her from behind over and over. He reached around and pulled one of her hands off the railing, bringing it down between her legs and slowing his pace down.

"Touch yourself and tell me about it." He demanded, his voice raw with need.

She did as he asked and after a few slow strokes he picked the pace back up and less than a minute later they were both coming, her walls constricting around him and her legs pulled together, scrunching her thighs together tightly as she screamed. They had crossed the line between pleasure and pain and he wondered if he'd hurt her too and he came crashing back down to earth, lusty, animal Jack gone and the real Jack surfacing immediately, pulling out of her, turning her around and wrapping his arms around her.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I just need to sit down, my legs are pretty wobbly. That was so good Jack, so good." She breathed into his chest, still caught up in the moment and apparently not feeling anything that resembled pain.

They staggered inside the penthouse, exhausted from the sex. They found the bedroom and crawled into the bed. He helped her take her skirt off and to his surprise she didn't protest or pull away when he encouraged her to snuggle up next to him. Both were asleep within minutes.

She could feel his hands and his mouth moving over her upper body, softly and gently caressing her while his mouth left soft kisses over her upper chest. She opened her eyes and he looked up at her, scooting up until his face hovered over hers, kissing her softly and then pulling back, looking for permission to keep going or the signal that said he should back off. She smiled at him, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a lengthy kiss.

He broke free from the kiss and continued moving his mouth over her, sucking lightly on her soft skin, finding her nipples and covering each one with his mouth, taking his time and enjoying her, moving his mouth down her stomach to her bikini line and then kissing his way back up, slipping in-between legs and pushing into her slowly, gently. He began kissing her, longing for her, passionate for her, his swollen cock slowly moving in and out of her, taking his time. He was making love to her and as soon as she realized what was going on she pulled out of the kiss and looked at him as if he were betraying her and pushed at his chest.

"Shh, it's okay, I promise it's okay." He whispered softly and continued to be sweet and tender with her.

She wanted to scream for him to stop, to get off of her, to remind him that he was married, but he was looking at her with the kindest, most trustworthy eyes she'd ever seen and he was so deep inside of her and still reaching, taking his time, touching her all over, kissing her all over, reminding her of what it felt like to be cared for and she gave in to the emotions, wrapping her legs around his waist and holding him, returning his affection and welcoming the warm, gentle flood of the orgasm that filled her entire pelvic region with a feeling of warmth and satisfaction and when he was done, but still inside of her, kissing her with a wet, sloppy mouth she didn't push him away.

They spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each other's arms, him spooned around her, his arms wrapped over her while her backside was pressed firmly into his chest and stomach, him holding a woman that wanted him and her unsure of what she'd just gotten herself into, but for the moment it felt good and tomorrow she could rationalize things and try to reinsert the wedge or barrier she'd tried so hard to keep between them.


	5. Chapter 5

She lay trapped somewhere between sleep and consciousness, her body wrapped snugly in a blanket and lying close to a warm body. She opened her eyes and there he was looking back at her, apparently lying perfectly still and watching her sleep for god knows how long. It was too personal, too intimate, too sweet and everything she never wanted from this fling. He knew that she didn't want this so why was he pushing the issue. How dare he push the issue given his unavailability to pursue anything more than sex with her. She sighed heavily and sat up, holding the blanket over her body. She felt his hand immediately begin moving over her back and tensed up.

"Jack please just stop." She pleaded.

"Kate…." He started to protest.

"No Jack, we aren't going to do this. I won't let you do this to me." She told him.

"Do what to you?" He asked and sat up, pulling his knees up under the sheets, resting his arms on them and looking at her, trying to make her look at him.

She started to answer, but the ringing of his cell phone stopped her. He sat and listened to it ring, the phone on the other side of the room and not the most critical issue for him at the moment.

"Aren't you going to get that? Someone might be dying." She said.

"They page me when people are dying, that's probably my wife wondering if I'm dead." Jack admitted.

"That Jack, that is what you aren't going to do to me. You're married and we were just supposed to be having fun, why did you have to make it personal?" She accused, obviously angry with him.

"Because sex is personal Kate and I'm not a no-strings type of person any more than you are. One night stands are one thing, but when you make a point to leave me your phone number and I make a point seek you out it's no on longer a one night stand, it's….." He tried to explain.

"It's what Jack? A relationship? Love? I don't believe in those things and you are a prime example of why those things are little more than dream, a dream that never comes true." She bit back sarcastically.

"I don't know what it is Kate, but I like you and I'd like to get to know you and not just in a sexual way. I understand the fact that I'm cheating on my wife makes me seem like the last man on earth you'd ever want to get involved with, much less trust, but you can trust me Kate, I'm not that guy." He told her, staying calm and not letting her stabbing comments bother him because he could tell she'd been hurt badly and that she was running scared.

"What guy?" She asked.

"The guy that uses women and throws them away, the guy that promises happily ever after and doesn't do his best to deliver on that promise, the guy that hurt you so bad you want to write men off and just use them for sex." He said.

"So you're a shrink and surgeon?" She huffed.

"Hardly and I'm the least sensitive or intuitive person I know, but there's something about you, something I can sense and somehow understand. Maybe it's as simple as me wanting to connect with you on that level, I don't know, but apparently I'm right." He said.

"So, I'm supposed to open up to and trust a man that is sitting next to me naked while ignoring his wife's phone calls?" Kate asked.

"Kate, my marriage is over, it was over before I met you. I've tried to save it, tried to be what she wants me to be, tried to give her what she seems to want, but it's never good enough, it's like I bother or irritate her on some level." He admitted.

"Then why don't you leave her?" Kate asked.

"It's hard Kate. I feel responsible for her, like I'm supposed to take care of her no matter what, like I'm supposed to ignore the fact that I've become repulsive to her and just keep coming home to her because I promised I would." He said.

"How do I know I'm not just the filler Jack, the woman you're seeking out to fulfill everything your wife is denying you both sexually and emotionally. I don't mind being the sexual filler. I could keep meeting you for sex and walking away and live with that so why can't you?" She argued.

"I don't believe you Kate. If you didn't want to connect with me emotionally you wouldn't have allowed it to happen last night. You were into it as much as I was." He protested.

"What do you want from me Jack? Obviously mind blowing sex isn't your thing." Kate sighed.

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her down onto the bed with him. She rolled over and lay across his chest looking down at him. He pulled her in for a lengthy kiss and then let her go again.

"The sex is my thing Kate. I love it and I want more of it if you do. I don't want anything from you that you aren't willing to give. I just want the chance to get to know you, to become friends, to actually feed you dinner before I fuck you for a change. I'm not asking you to put your heart out there because I can tell it's been beaten and battered. I just want there to be more to us than being fuck buddies, you deserve better than that." He told her.

"You have no idea what I deserve Jack. Your heart seems pretty beaten and battered too though, so would it be safe to assume that you're not looking to fall in love either, that we can just try to enjoy ourselves without complicating things?" She asked and began moving her hand down over his stomach and beyond, finding his cock and wrapping her hand around it, making him smile that beautiful _'you make my day'_ smile at her.

"It would be safe to assume that today and probably tomorrow and many tomorrows after that." He told her as he watched her slither down his torso, her intentions clear.

"Just so you know Jack, it's not you. You and your cock are anything but repulsive. I could suck it every day and twice on Sundays and never get tired of it." She taunted in a sexy tone and then swallowed him up.

He watched her suck his cock, her small naked body curled up in a ball, straddling his legs while her wet mouth and tongue swathed his now hardened length, making it disappear and then reappear, her tiny hand squeezing his balls while she looked up at him, half of his dick in her mouth, allowing him to watch her release it and then tease the head with her tongue.

She kissed the tip gently and slithered back up his body, closing her mouth over his and kissing him hungrily, their tongues hard and furious and then slowing down to soft and comforting, their breathing rapid as they both anticipated what was coming next. She pulled out of the kiss and rolled onto her back, pulling him over with her and letting him slip comfortably between her legs, spreading them for him and squirming below him. He grinned at her.

"Something you want?" He teased.

"You, all of you and I want it hard and fast. Can you handle that stud or is it too early in the morning for you?" She teased back.

She felt him push into her quickly, surprising her and making her gasp.

"You tell me Kate, does it feel like I can handle it?" He asked, his voice returning to that raw, lustful tone that could make her wet instantly.

He felt her flood his throbbing cock with the warm moisture and groaned, so turned on he wasn't going to last long. He reached down and pulled her up, folding his legs underneath him and setting her on his lap. He reached behind her and stacked the pillows before lifting her off of him and sitting her on two pillows while letting her back relax into the two pillows behind her. He lifted her arms, encouraging her to hold onto the headboard that was behind her. He went up onto his knees and approached her, bending her legs and then spreading them apart, pushing them back as far as he could without it becoming uncomfortable for her, her pussy displayed for him, wide open, wet and dripping.

He dipped a finger through the wetness, penetrating her with it and then pulling it back out, holding his hand up in front of her so she could see her gooey, slippery juices hanging from his fingers.

"That's all for you Jack." She panted and then cried out when he drove himself into her again hard.

She clamped her legs around him and he pushed them away, spreading them apart again and then letting his hands rest palms down on the pillows on either side of her, sliding down until he was in a good position to give her what she wanted, hell what he wanted. His face was just inches from hers. He kissed her quickly, pulled her ass to the edge of the pillows and then thrust into her deep and hard making her let go of a combination moan, groan and whimper and grip the headboard tightly.

"Fuck me Jack and don't stop." She demanded.

He began thrusting in and out of her, slowly picking up his pace at her insistence, already becoming deaf, dumb and blind as his release teetered on the edge, so close that one more whimper, one more nasty word, one more graphic description of what he felt like inside her and it would be over. He was pounding as hard as he could, his balls slapping against her butt, semen beginning to seep out and then he felt it. Her walls closed around him tightly, her hands suddenly on his shoulders squeezing so tight he thought for sure she'd leave marks and she lunged forward, spewing profanity and grinding into any part of him she could.

"Don't you come yet!" She demanded as she rode out the orgasm and then pushed him away, separating them, his swollen, dripping cock hanging in-between them and him looking less than thrilled by the turn of events.

"Kate." He tried to protest as she moved and pushed him back onto the pillows, straddling him and reconnecting immediately.

With her hands on his shoulders she began riding up and down on him slowly, watching his body relax back into the pillows and his head drop back as he surrendered to her, the slow grinding motion of her hips lulling him into a state of pleasure he had no desire to come down from.

"You like that don't you? Slow it down so you can last longer, long enough for you to enjoy my pussy swallowing you up and making your cock all mine. You give me what I like Jack so I'm giving you what you like. Come inside me now, let it go." She whispered into his ear while nibbling lightly at his neck, her lower body continuing to gyrate over him, him no longer breathing, but panting.

She felt his hands still her hips and then felt him jerk below her, his release shooting into her as he groaned lightly, his eyes still closed and apparently feeling as good and relaxed as he'd felt in a really long time. She allowed him to finish and then let her body fall forward onto his, their sweaty chests smashed together and his hands instinctively moving over her back in a soothing manner.

"Do you have to be anywhere today?" Kate asked.

"Not that I know of, I should probably call the hospital and check on a couple of patients. Why?" He asked.

"That was so good. I think we should spend the rest of the day and night in this room fucking." She sighed making him chuckle.

"Are you going to let me fuck you on that balcony in broad daylight?" He asked.

"Does that mean you want to?" She asked.

"Of course I want to, but you have to let me feed you." He said.

"Room service." She said with a grin.

"That'll work for breakfast, but I think after we eat breakfast we should take a shower and go down to the shops in the lobby, buy some dressy clothes and go out some place ridiculously expensive for dinner." He said.

She sat up and looked at him, his cock still trapped inside of her. She traced a line down the center of his chest with her fingertip and then smiled at him.

"Are you going to fuck me in the shower Jack?" She asked in her naughtiest voice and felt him twitch inside of her right before he groaned, liking the idea and the way it was presented very much.

He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her into a deep, wet, passionate kiss and holding her there for a long time.

"You are the prettiest, naughtiest woman I've ever known." He told her.

"Is that a yes?" She pushed.

"Yes." He laughed.

"Yes what?" She asked.

"Yes ma'am?" He answered in a puzzled tone, not sure what she wanted him to say. She giggled and slapped lightly at his chest.

"No silly, you're supposed to tell me yes followed by what you're going to do to me." She insisted.

"Yes Kate I will fuck you in the shower, and in the bed and on the couch and against the wall and on the floor, in the dress shops downstairs, under the table at dinner, in the car and I won't stop until you beg me to and tomorrow you won't be able to walk." He promised in a lustful, hungry tone, his penis beginning to grow inside of her.

"What about your wife Jack?" She asked and felt him soften immediately.

"Talk about a mood killer." He commented, chuckling lightly.

"Sorry, but won't she be wondering where you are?" Kate asked.

"I'll call her, tell her I fell asleep in my office and that I'm going to go golfing and then work tonight. I'm sure she's got plans that don't include me so she won't really care." Jack said, not really sad or angry, just accepting of the reality of the situation.

"Mmm….lucky me. It just so happens that all of my plans include you. Let's order breakfast and I'll show you a fun, adventurous way to enjoy a pancake." She teased and kissed him softly, lifting herself off of him.

For Kate it had been a test of sorts, a test to see just how unhappily married Jack really was and just how serious he was about them getting to know each other better and about becoming friends. When offered the chance to spend an entire day and night with her would he jump at the opportunity or would he find an excuse for why it wasn't possible? He had jumped at the opportunity, giving it little or no thought at all. While he'd passed the test and it made her happy, there was a small part of her that was saddened by how quickly he had jumped at the chance to spend time with her, to have a whole day and night with someone that wanted him there, that liked what he had to offer and liked to give it back as good as she got it. How could his wife find him repulsive? As far as she could tell he was charming, sweet, attentive and knew how to please a woman not only sexually, but emotionally as well, the latter making her want to bolt and run as far away from him as she could, but also making her want to stay and explore him and figure out what it was about him that made her want to make that connection with him in the first place even though she swore she never would do that with any man ever again.


	6. Chapter 6

Her back was pressed firmly against the tile, the steamy hot water hitting her chest and dribbling down her stomach, landing on his head which was planted between her legs, his mouth making a meal out of her. She felt his tongue glide through her folds and then back down, his thumbs opening her up enough for him to shove his tongue in and out of her and she slipped a little, bending over and grabbing hold of his shoulders, the release building within her making it difficult to stand.

"I want you Jack, all of you." She pleaded with him, feeling his tongue make its way back up and then tease her clit with quick flicks before sucking it into his mouth hard; making her tighten the grip she had on his shoulders. He released her for a moment and looked up at her.

"Come Kate and you can have me." He told her and then licked her up and down again.

"How will I get you Jack?" She replied in a breathy tone, knowing his answer would put her over the edge.

"You'll get me hard, just the way you like it. Right Kate, you like it when I fuck you senseless don't you?" He asked and latched back onto her clit.

He heard the panting, followed by the squeals and the fingernails digging into the fleshy part of his shoulders and then he felt all of her weight being supported by him as the orgasm took hold and she pushed her pussy hard into his face, humping him and panting "fuck me, fuck me, fuck me" over and over. He had never been with a woman that enjoyed being fucked like she did and who wasn't afraid to be animalistic or what he guessed some would consider raunchy about it. She wasn't raunchy to him. She was the most real woman he'd ever known. She was sexy, exciting, beautiful and so completely uninhibited that he felt like he was enjoying meaningful sex for the first time in his life. Whether she liked it or not, the sex was meaningful and not just to him, but he would back off and give her time to accept that they were having an affair, a relationship, a situation that wouldn't allow feelings to be kept at bay for very long.

He waited for her to finish and slowly stood, his cock so hard he was certain that fucking her hard and quick was his only option because anything else would be too painful. He lifted her leg over his hip and entered her quick and without warning, plunging deep into her with no trouble, the excessive sex they'd been engaging in not allowing her to tighten back up which was good, otherwise he probably would've just hurt her, maybe even tore her and as adventurous as this wonderful woman was she probably would've enjoyed the brief pain he could've caused. The idea of it made him harder and he wondered what that said about him. He shook off the desire to analyze his sexual hunger and began slamming into her, her body pinned up against the tile and not moving, her wet skin sticking to the tile that was warmed by the steamy environment.

"Harder Jack, harder!" She demanded, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and hanging on as he thrust in and out of her.

He came within minutes of entering her and she followed right behind, this man able to satisfy her like no other man ever had and not because he was some stud that could make any woman orgasm, but because he paid attention and cared whether or not the woman he was fucking was enjoying it too. He could be sweet and gentle and he could be wild and out of control and whichever mode he was engaged in he never lost sight of the fact that he wasn't the only one having sex.

They separated, finished their shower and then dressed in the clothes they had worn the day before. She slithered up behind him and put her hands around his waist.

"Thank you for breakfast and for the shower. If you perform surgery as well as you fuck, you must be very successful." She teased making him laugh.

"I can't take all the credit, I've been pretty inspired." He said.

"Why Jack are you suggesting I make you that good?" Kate asked.

"What do you think? I'm sure I've never had a lover that satisfied her craving for a pig in the blanket by wrapping a pancake around my penis and slowly eating it away. I can't wait to see what you do with donuts." He chuckled, taking hold of her hand and drawing her around until she was facing him.

He bent down and kissed her, a long, wet, passionate, caring, meaningful kiss that she eventually pulled out of, too breathless to speak, but clearly having received the message. She smiled at him and took hold of his hand.

"Come on, let's go shopping." She said and tugged on his hand until he followed.

They found nothing in the hotel lobby they liked so they drove across the city to a mall that housed nothing but small specialty shops. He found some slacks, a shirt and a tie and then helped her pick out a pretty, sexy dress that would be considered appropriate for the 5-star restaurant he had squeezed them into later in the evening. She filled the dress out perfectly, so perfectly he had to resist the urge to join her in the changing room to relieve his developing hard on. He sat patiently outside the fitting rooms and while he was waiting his pager went off. He looked down, sighed heavily and pulled his cell phone out. When Kate exited the fitting room he was just finishing the call. He paid for the dress and they exited the shop.

"I need to go by the hospital. One of my patients is misbehaving and they think he might've torn some stitches. The hotel is really out of the way, do you mind hanging out in my office while I take care of it. It shouldn't take more than 20 or 30 minutes." Jack said.

"No problem. Are you sure you want to be seen with me where you work?" She asked taken back by how casually he suggested she go with him.

"It's fine, I've fucked just about every nurse that works there according to the hospital gossip so why not add a pretty brunette to the pile, at least this time it'll be true." He explained and then winked at her.

He escorted her to his office, stopping at the nurse's station to let them know he had arrived. He explained that he was thinking about buying a new house and that Kate was his realtor. It wasn't much of a lie since he would most likely be looking for a new place to live soon and she was a realtor. She sat in his office, looking at the expensive leather furniture, the perfectly arranged book shelf and the occasional ornament or decorative piece that was so obviously not Jack it made her giggle. She looked at the picture of him and his wife on his desk. She wasn't anything like what Kate had pictured, but then again she always knew that Jack really wasn't married to a woman with a green face, a long pointy chin, long rotting teeth and a wart on the end of her nose.

He returned to the office, caught her staring at the picture and instantly became uncomfortable, hands shoved deep into his pockets and at a loss for words.

"She's pretty Jack, it's too bad she's apparently too dense to appreciate the man she married." Kate said in an attempt to relieve the tension.

"I don't know Kate, I've probably not been the best husband. I really can't blame the marriage falling apart on her." He admitted.

"You're pretty quick to come to her defense, sounds like a man who is still in love with his wife." Kate accused.

"Maybe it's my way of dealing with the fact that my wife doesn't find me desirable anymore. Maybe it's easier to blame myself and my inattentiveness than to accept that I can't please her sexually." Jack defended himself.

She looked at him and realized he wasn't attempting to squirm out of an uncomfortable situation, but that he was being sincere, that he truly believed himself to be undesirable or unworthy in some way. It was insane to her because he was anything but undesirable, but apparently being beaten down and no longer wanted by the woman that promised to love and cherish you forever could make even the most educated men believe stupid things.

She curled her finger forward, a gesture summoning him to come over to where she was seated behind his desk. He looked at her mischievous grin and curling finger and his mood switched from defeated to amused and very intrigued immediately. He reached behind him and locked the door and then proceeded to join her behind the desk. He pulled her up out of the chair, sat down and then pulled her into his lap. She kissed him with as much of her tongue as she could and when she pulled away she saw that he was breathless, almost dazed.

"Did she decorate this office Jack?" Kate asked.

"Is it that obvious?" He chuckled.

"Well, it just doesn't jump out and say Jack to me, but it does give me an impression of your wife, of what she considers important, of what it may have been that made her think she wanted to spend the rest of her life with you and trust me Jack, your desirability was most likely way down on her list of priorities." Kate told him, her handing rubbing over his hardening cock.

"Are you actually trying to make me feel better Kate? Careful, I might try to spring some more intimacy on you." He teased.

"If intimacy means fucking me all over this beautiful piece of wood your wife picked out right in front of her picture then what are you waiting for?" She asked, her tone serious and sexy and her hand now inside his jeans, holding his cock, squeezing, rubbing and gently jerking him off, daring him not to come in her hand.

"Kate, I'm going to come." He warned.

"So come. Do I need to remind you I'm not wearing any panties under this skirt to get you to release?" She coaxed.

"I'm very aware of that. It took everything I had not to finger you in the car. You would've like that wouldn't you Kate, being finger fucked at 80 mph." He played along his voice low and edgy.

"Mmm, yeah, that would've been great, my feet propped up on the dash with your luscious, long fingers sliding in and out of my slippery hole. You can feel it right now can't you Jack?" She continued to drive him absolutely crazy with the need to fuck her.

He lifted her off his lap, pushed her skirt up and sat her on the desk, shoving all the files and stacks of paper out of the way so he could lay her back. He placed his hands on her knees and spread her legs apart, exposing all of her to him, making him groan and take hold of himself, spreading what was already escaping from his swollen, throbbing head over his cock before placing it at her entrance. He pushed into her slowly and then held his position. He lowered himself and kissed her sloppily before propping himself up on his hands and beginning his thrusts.

Kate moaned and squirmed and spread her legs wider so he could hit her right where she wanted, the orgasm coming fast. She let go of a scream and he quickly clamped his hand over her mouth and shook his head no. He continued to drive himself in and out of her, looking at the picture of him and Sarah and finding it made him harder. Kate noticed him glancing at it and she should've felt guilty, but she didn't, this woman didn't seem to care about him at all and Kate didn't understand that because as much as she tried to fight it she found herself starting to care about him. His sad, defeated explanation for why he blamed himself for the failed marriage did make her want to make him feel better, but the fact that he 

picked up on that so easily irritated her, but not enough to nix her plans to be fucked on this desk.

"God Jack you are so hard and you fuck me so good. Come inside me Jack. Do it now." She demanded.

"You first." He said in a breathy tone, moving his fingers to her clit and rubbing and slowing down enough to keep from exploding.

He felt her clinch around him and then close her eyes tightly, holding her breath so she wouldn't scream again and then he felt himself spilling into her, filling her up, still not bothering to care if he was being too risky, if he was going to catch something or if she was at risk for pregnancy. She made him feel as free an uninhibited as he ever had in his life and maybe it was reckless, no it was reckless, but he didn't care, he wasn't going to spoil their time together by being anal and clinical and afraid to take a risk.

He collapsed over the top of her, both of them breathing hard, their bodies starting to relax, his desk and his office a mess, the picture of Sarah and him staring at him. He reached up, turned it face down and then closed the space between them, wrapping her up in a long, deep kiss that would get them going again if it went on long enough. He couldn't get enough of her or her of him and they stayed on the desk, kissing and pulling at each other's clothes until he lifted her up and carried them over to the couch.

They finished undressing, him sitting up and watching as she kissed her way down his chest, sucking his nipples and then biting them a little too hard, but he wasn't complaining. She continued down his body about to suck his cock for the third time since they woke up and he wasn't sure if he could take another round of it, but she surprised him, stopping and reaching for her purse. He watched her pull a small container of what he assumed was hand lotion out and squirt it into her hands. She rubbed her hands together to spread the lotion evenly over her palms and then took hold of his cock, smiling as he mumbled "oh fuck" and let his head drop backward.

"Watch Jack, you know you like to watch. Watch me play with your cock." Kate told him, watching him raise his head and then make eye contact with her.

He watched her move her hands over his hardening length, watched her lower her head and suck gently on his balls, watched her hover over his middle and breathe and kiss all around the tops of his thighs and lower belly. He was hard again, hard as a rock and he was beginning to think he would be the one that wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow.

"Are you going to fuck me on this couch Jack?" She asked in a sexy tone.

"No, you're going to fuck me." He said as he encouraged her to slide up and mount him.

She moved up and over him, positioning herself over his cock and sliding down onto it, both of them moaning at the connection. She put her hands on his shoulders and began moving up and down and then rotating over him. He put his hands on her hips and stopped her.

"You incredible, you know that right?" He asked.

"So are you." She said.

"Tonight after dinner it's my turn to play, my turn to enjoy every inch of your body and you have to lay there and watch and if you don't I'll have to find some way to restrain you." He told her, feeling her grow wetter and smiling at her.

"Don't make promises you don't intend to keep." She teased and began moving slowly over him.

"What are you waiting for Kate? Fuck me as hard as I fuck you." He said, wrapping his arms around her and groaning as she began to bouce harder.

The elevator doors opened and Sarah Shephard stepped out. She walked to the nurses' station and stood patiently until the woman looked up from her work.

"Hello Mrs. Shephard, what brings you here on a Sunday afternoon?" The nurse asked.

"Jack is working today and I need to talk to him and since he's ignoring his cell phone, I thought I'd stop by. Is he in his office? She asked.


	7. Chapter 7

They lay on the leather couch, their bodies covered with sweat and other bodily fluids, him flat on his back and she curled up on top of him, resting peacefully while he let his fingers glide slowly over her slowly cooling back. Her eyes were closed, her leg draped over his middle and her left hand delicately playing with the hair on his chest. Both were physically exhausted and close to falling asleep, too close. He shook her gently.

"We should get up, get dressed and get out of here." He told her.

"Do you promise we can go take a nap if I do?" She asked in an almost childlike tone.

"Do you promise to let me sleep if we take a nap?" He laughed.

"Yes, but I can't promise to not wake you up with a bang." She teased.

They slowly peeled themselves away from each other and dressed, taking note of the mess they made of his office. She helped him stack the files and paperwork on his desk and straighten up the area where the furniture was. He clipped his pager on his belt and dropped his cell phone into his pocket without checking it for messages. He made one last quick scan of the office and then led her to the door.

"It's just the way we found it, no one will ever know." Kate giggled.

"Yeah, the overwhelming smell of sex in the air won't give away a thing." He agreed with a light laugh, making a point to leave the door to his office ajar on their way out.

They walked past the nurses' station and were headed for the elevator when the nurse behind the station called out to him. He stopped and walked back over to where she was, pressing lightly on Kate's lower back, encouraging her to come with him.

"I checked Mr. Johnson's sutures. He pulled a few loose, but not enough to cause any leaks. I upped his pain meds so hopefully he'll be a little less difficult to deal with." Jack said.

"Thank you Dr. Shephard, he really didn't seem to be getting any relief. Your wife was here." She told him.

"What did she want?" Jack asked surprised by how completely unaffected he was by the idea that he nearly got caught.

"She said she's been trying to call you and just decided to drop by. I was going to page you, but she got a phone call and told me not to bother you, that she'd just catch you at home." She told him.

"Okay, thanks." Jack said and walked away.

He stepped onto the elevator with Kate and pulled his cell phone out. There were five missed calls and all were from Sarah. He sighed heavily and hit the dial button.

"Sarah, what's up?" Jack asked.

"Jesus Jack, have you put me on ignore or what?" Sarah complained.

"I put everyone on ignore when I'm with a patient. What's so important you called me five different times?" Jack asked.

"I'm going shopping with my mother and I thought I'd start putting together a nursery, you know wall paper patterns and paint and furniture and I just wanted to run it by you before I went out and spent a bunch of money." She said startling him back into his reality.

"Don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself Sarah?" He asked, clearly irritated.

"I know, but I thought since we decided to do this we might as well make it real and speaking of which, wake me up tonight no matter how late you get home." She said.

"Why would I do that?" He asked.

"Because Jack, I'm right in the middle of my cycle and this is the best time to get pregnant so we need to take advantage of it." She said taking him back to the night before when they'd had the worst sex ever.

"Sarah, I can't talk about this right now." He groaned impatiently.

"Fine Jack, as usual I'll take care of everything. Just make sure you and your sperm show up tonight." She told him, hanging up before he had a chance to respond.

Jack closed the phone and shoved it into his pocket. Kate noticed the change in his mood, but decided it was none of her business, that she was just the woman he was fucking and didn't need to care if he was currently struggling with something. They went back to the penthouse and slept until it was time to shower and dress for their dinner reservations. His mood was better, but he was quiet and she knew that whatever his wife had said to him was eating away at him slowly.

They sat in the restaurant, their table by the windows looking out over the ocean. The restaurant was beautiful, the view was beautiful and the woman sitting across from him was beautiful but he was feeling nauseous and irritable. Kate, finally having had enough of his moodiness, dropped her fork onto her plate loudly getting not only his attention, but the attention of all those around them.

"Was that necessary?" He asked.

"What the hell is the matter with you Jack? No, I don't care; it's not my business and definitely not my problem. Just take me to my car and go home to your wife Jack." She demanded.

"Is that what you think? You think I'd rather be with her than with you?" He asked.

"I don't care Jack. All I care about is that you have been downright depressing since that phone call today and you know what, I don't need it. We are supposed to be having fun, this isn't fun." She snapped at him.

"Oh that's right, I forgot, I'm just your fuck toy. Everything is great as long you have my cock shoved down your throat. It's been a few hours I can see why you're frustrated, so come here Kate and I'll fuck you under this table, make you happy again. You're no different than she is." He shot back as hateful as she'd ever known him to be.

"You don't know anything about me Jack!" She growled a little too loudly.

"That's right I don't, but not because I haven't tried to get to know you Kate. You just want a fuck buddy and she just wants a sperm donor and as long as I don't try to add anything that resembles feelings or intimacy to mix then you're both fine. Well, you know what, screw both of you." He spat angrily.

She looked across the table at him, his eyes were so full of hurt she felt her heart begin to break for him and she had to ask herself why. Why did she care if he was hurting? Why indeed and that was why she was so angry at the moment, not because he'd been moody most of the evening, but because she actually cared that he was moody and wanted to help, wanted to do something to make him feel better and it scared her. However, he was ready to grant her wish, ready to drop her off and drive away and most likely never see her again and surprisingly that scared her more. She relaxed back into her chair and without ever breaking eye contact with him revealed a bit of herself to him.

"I was married once." She told him.

He didn't speak; he just continued to look at her, afraid to interrupt the first hint of something real from her.

"I loved him more than I've ever loved any man, but apparently love truly is blind, not to mention stupid." She told him, the anger and contempt in her voice telling him this ended badly.

"You'll get no argument here." He quipped.

"See Jack, I don't get men, I don't know what they want. I thought I had met the love of my life and I was ready to commit everything to him, but he hurt me, he humiliated me and he broke my heart." Kate explained with sadness, showing him a softer less in control side.

"What happened Kate?" He asked.

"We had a big, beautiful wedding and during the reception I stepped into one of the bathrooms and there they were, my brand new husband and my maid of honor. He had her bent over one of the sinks and was pounding away at her." Kate said watching him grimace when she described the bathroom scene to him.

"I'm sorry." He said softly and oddly enough she could tell he meant it, that he truly was sorry some guy had hurt her like that.

"Yeah thanks, I'm sorry too. I wasted nearly three years of my life on that man, but I guess it was best to find out like that instead of 10 years and four children later. So, I decided that I really don't have any use for men, that I'd just enjoy the whole lot of you for the one thing that I do know you want, but it's just my luck I run into the one man in this city that can't be satisfied with just sex" She said.

"I'm sorry for what I said, it was out of line and I appreciate that I didn't get slapped for it, but I told you Kate, I'm not that guy." He said.

"You say that, but you've been preoccupied with your wife all evening and you won't talk about it and it's not my place to ask, so where does that leave me Jack?" She asked.

"Last night she dressed up in sexy lingerie, acted like she cared again, like she wanted to try to save the marriage and she decided that we should have a baby, that a baby would solve all our problems." He said softly.

"So what happened?" Kate asked, deciding to care enough to probe.

"I've got a wife who is so repulsed by me that she hands me a tube of lubricant before we make love, not to spice things up, but so I can just hurry up and get it over with, just get in there do my thing and hopefully get her pregnant in the process. Then she calls today talking about buying things for a nursery as if what went on between us last night was anywhere close to normal or healthy, the absence of any kind of feelings or love there apparently not an issue to her. I've got to end my marriage Kate, but what if it's too late. What if she's pregnant?" Jack said.

"Jack, I can't tell you what to do with your marriage, but I can see why you're so rattled." She offered.

"Kate, I'm sorry that some jerk treated you that way, that he stomped all over your heart, that he was too stupid to see he had it all, but I can't do this with you anymore. I can't have two women in my life and the only thing either wants from me is meaningless sex." Jack said.

"It's not." Kate said.

"It's not what?" He asked.

"It's not meaningless." She told him and watched him smile for the first time since the phone call with his wife.

"So what does that mean?" He asked.

"I don't know Jack, does it have to mean anything yet? Should it mean anything considering you are still married?" She asked.

"Right. I guess I just want to know that if I spend tonight with you, and I really want to spend tonight with you Kate, will you care whether or not you see me again after we go our separate ways tomorrow?" He asked.

"I don't know Jack, should I care? I mean will it do me any good to care or are you going to go back home and start picking out nursery patterns?" Kate asked.

"I'll make a deal with you Kate, when I can answer that question honestly and not just based on what I think I want right this minute then I will have earned the right to know whether or not you care." Jack said.

"Deal, now how about we get out of here and go play with that toy we bought today." She told him and winked.

They burst through the doors of the penthouse suite, kissing and pulling at each other's clothes, her a little tipsy on wine and him enjoying the comfort of knowing that this woman wanted him, all of him and that it did mean something to her. They stumbled over to the bed and onto it. She rolled over onto her stomach and he unzipped her dress, her warm, bare back exposed and so beautiful to him. He placed his mouth into the opening and began kissing his way down the center of her back. He finally rolled her over and they kissed for a long time, his excitement filling the front of his slacks and her squirming, trying to release her body from the confines of the dress.

He finally stopped kissing her and helped her, stripping her naked and then kissing her chest, sucking her nipples into his mouth and down, running his tongue over her stomach and then back up, sucking on her nipples some more and then sitting up, looking down at her while his hand moved slowly over her soft skin. She had managed to get his shirt off and his belt and pants unfastened. He stood and let his pants slide down his legs and hit the floor, returning to the bed wearing nothing but his boxers. She glanced over at the bag sitting on the table beside the bed and grinned at him.

"You really want me to fuck you with a dildo?" He asked.

"Are you kidding, I can't wait. Will you be tying me up while you do it?" She asked.

"If you want, but should I be worried that you might like this too much?" He asked.

"No Jack, it's not the dildo, it's the idea that you're going to be using it on me, watching it slide in and out of me and knowing that you're controlling how deep it goes and how fast. I'm soaking wet just thinking about it." She giggled.

"You're even naughtier on wine you know that?" He chuckled and then leaned over and kissed her softly.

"Put it in me Jack, make me come with it." She said in a lustful tone.

Jack reached for the bag and pulled the rubber cock out. He held it up in front of her and then made her take it into her mouth and suck on it.

"I'm not going to tie you up, but if you try to use your hands on yourself, I'll stop and you won't get to come." He told her and pulled the device away from her mouth.

He pushed her knees up and then guided her legs back, the sight of her wet pussy opening up in front of him making him want to toss the dildo and dive in himself. He grabbed her hand and put it inside the opening of his boxers, closing his eyes for a moment while she gripped him and pulled him out of the opening. His tip was already dripping and she used her thumb to spread it around and began slowly working her hand up and down his cock, gasping and stopping when she felt him push the dildo into her.

"You like that? Do you want it deeper, harder, faster?" He asked.

"Yes." She hissed and gripped his cock tighter, making him wince a little.

He began pushing the dildo in and out of her, pulling it out and gliding the head of it through her slippery creased and then back down, sliding it in and out of her watching her squirm and moan, eyes closed and her small hand working him up and down, his head a dark purple color, ready to explode all over her.

"Pull your legs up." He told her and then groaned at the sight of her opening up wider for him.

"Harder Jack, touch me, make me come." She pleaded.

Jack pulled the dildo out and tossed it onto the bed, pulling his cock away from her greedy, skilled hand, going up onto his knees, pushing his boxers down, putting his tip into position and plunging into her.

"Sorry Kate, I couldn't stand it anymore, it's got to be me fucking you, not some cold piece of rubber." He panted, holding her legs back as far as he could and fucking her hard.

She placed her hands on him, feeling how tight his butt and thighs were as he thrust in and out of her at a maddening pace, needing to explode so bad he thought his eyes might pop out.

"Mmm...yeah, fuck me good; fuck me like I'm bad, that's it, harder. Oh that feels so incredible, I'm going to come baby I'm gonna come hard!" She screamed, gripping his biceps and clenching hard around him.

He lost it somewhere in-between fuck me like I'm bad and I'm gonna come hard. She was insanely erotic and incredibly beautiful and so much fun to be around that he knew he couldn't walk away from her. She was giving him everything and he was giving her nothing but sex, still hiding behind his marriage excuse when all she needed to know was whether or not she should care and he had to do something about that, the sooner the better.

He stayed inside her, his body draped over hers, his breathing labored, his cock slowly desensitizing inside her warm cocoon. He finally raised his head and kissed her long and deep, allowing all the passion he felt for her to flow freely and then he pulled out of the kiss and rolled off of her onto his back, smiling when he felt her curl her body over his and get comfortable and they slept, the wine and the sex knocking both of them out.

He awoke in the middle of the night to feel of her mouth sucking his cock, erect again and his balls tingling, too sleepy to fight for control, but alert enough to enjoy it. Her warm mouth swallowing him up, her tongue gliding over him. He began running his fingers through her hair and then he began filling her mouth with his semen, the semen that Sarah was at home waiting for. He looked down and watched her drinking him up, not letting a single drop escape and he couldn't recall another time in his life when he felt as satisfied physically and emotionally and he knew what he had to do, not next week or a month from now, but today.


	8. Chapter 8

They lay side by side his body spooned around hers, his cock buried deep inside her and slowly moving in and out while his fingers gently rubbed her swollen clit, their bodies hot with desire, their releases close. She held tightly to the arm that was trapped beneath and around her, her hands clutching his forearm as he continued to move, grinding harder and deeper, his mouth kissing the back of her neck.

"You're so warm and wet, I could stay inside you like this for hours." He whispered.

"You feel so good Jack, so swollen, so ready to come. Let's turn over so I can watch you come." She coaxed.

He slipped out of her and moved away, allowing her to roll onto her back, working his way between her legs and re-entering her, feeling her legs wrap around him, holding him down, keeping him buried deep inside. He kissed her and she kissed back, taking hold of his face and holding him there, giving him all of her, overwhelmed with him and how he was making her feel at the moment.

"Fuck me Jack, let me feel your cock explode." She panted.

"You mean like it did a few hours ago? You have no idea how fucking hot it is to watch such a beautiful, sexy woman suck your cock and enjoy it so much?" He groaned as he moved in and out of her.

"I love to suck it Jack, you taste so good. Oh, ah, fuck me." She cried out their conversation and him slowly moving in and out of her bringing her to orgasm.

He loved to watch her face, loved the way he could see how good every second of the experience felt to her and loved the idea that he could bring her that kind of pleasure. He let his own release go, allowing her to watch his face as well and when they both finished they kissed again, hungry and almost needy, as if they were both painfully aware they were about to part ways for an undetermined amount of time.

They separated and lay together, the darkness outside telling them that they still had a little time left, time to cuddle, time to absorb the other's warmth.

"I should go Kate, I need to go home and shower and shave and get dressed for work." Jack said.

"Me too." She said through a yawn.

He slipped out of the bed and she followed, they both dressed and gathered the dressy clothes they had bought for their dinner. He stayed by her side while she checked out of the penthouse and he waited outside with her while the valet retrieved her car.

"Do you want me to take those clothes with me so you don't have to explain them to your wife?" She asked.

"No, it's fine." He said and pulled her closer, keeping his hand on her lower back and kissing her deeply.

"My car's here, I have to go." She said and kissed him one more time.

"Kate, I'll um..." He stammered.

"Yeah, goodbye Jack." She said trying to hide the sadness she suddenly felt.

He was at a loss for words which to her meant he was unsure about his next move and she felt like this would be it, that she would never see him again. He was going to go home and try to fix his messed up marriage and she wanted to kick herself for caring. He watched her move away slowly, noticing the sadness she was attempting to hide from him and realizing he was the cause of it. He watched her slide into the driver's seat of her car, toss her dress into the back seat and buckle her seat belt and then he finally moved, making his way to her window, knocking lightly and startling her. She pushed the button to lower the window and looked at him, confused and a little angry. She needed to get away from him before she allowed him to make her cry.

He leaned in and kissed her again. She fought him at first, but then realized she had no defenses against him or his charm any longer and she gave into the feel of his tongue moving slowly with hers and the feel of his hand lightly cupping the side of her face. He pulled out of the kiss and handed her the dress clothes he was carrying.

"If the offer is still good, I can get them from you when I see you again and Kate, I do want to see you again, very much and you should care, I mean it's okay to care, I'm not that guy and I won't be that guy." He told her.

He saw her eyes light up and he smiled. He knew that would be the only hint she would be offering that she already did care, but that was enough for him, for now, enough to keep his resolve strong, to do what he knew he had to do.

"Okay, I guess I'll be hearing from you then?" She asked.

"Yeah, or you can call me. I called you the other night so you should have my number." He said confidently, not seeming to care if his wife found her on his caller ID.

She nodded, smiled and kissed him one more time and then drove away.

Jack walked up the sidewalk that led to the front door of his house. He knew she wouldn't be gone yet and that she would most likely be extremely pissed off and he wanted to be able to say he didn't care, but he did, he hated hurting anyone regardless of the circumstances. He barely got the door shut before she pounced. He walked past her and into the living room, wearing the same jeans and shirt he'd put on the night he left and smelling of sex. He could smell it, could smell her all over him, but he made no attempt to hide it from her this time.

"Who is she?" Sarah asked.

"Does it matter?" He asked.

"My husband is fucking another woman so yeah Jack I think it matters." Sarah snapped.

"You don't know her. I met her in the bar of the hotel on our anniversary. Remember that night Sarah? You were tired and didn't want me, but she did." He said, keeping his voice even, calm.

"Okay Jack, you got your feelings hurt and had yourself a little fling. I don't like it, but I can find a way to forgive you." She said.

"You can find a way to forgive me?" He huffed and let go of a sick laugh.

"Jack, what's going on with you?" She asked.

"Sarah, I know you don't love me now, but did you ever love me?" He asked.

"Jack, that's ridiculous." She argued.

"Is it? Then say it Sarah. Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me." He said still calm, an air of defeat in his tone.

"I don't have time for this, I've got to get to school, we'll talk about this tonight." She said.

"No we won't." He said.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because I'm moving out and filing for divorce Sarah. I'll take care of the bills and still take care of you financially for now, but I can't stay, I have to get out of here." He told her.

He watched her for a moment, looking for any sign that this news was upsetting to her on an emotional level, looking for any sign that she still had a heart and that he had a place in it, but there was nothing but empty eyes and a stoic face.

"Perfect. Look, there's a five year old girl and her anxious parents waiting for me so I should get cleaned up and get to work." He said.

"You aren't leaving me Jack Shephard, I won't let you. Go work your miracles, but when you're done, you come home and talk to me." Sarah insisted.

He didn't answer her. He found she exhausted him and not in a good way. He walked away, stripping his clothes off along the way, never needing a hot shower as badly before. She followed, nagging at him, making demands and he continued to ignore her. He reached into the shower and turned the water on. She stood in the doorway, arms folded across her chest. He unfastened his jeans and pulled them off, dropping them into the clothes hamper and putting his thumbs inside the waistband of his boxers, ready to pull them off.

"Did you want to join me Sarah?" He asked sarcastically and pulled his boxers off, watching her look over his nude body and then look away as if the sight of him naked was offensive and he wondered when that had happened, remembering a time not so long ago when she would've smiled and joined him.

"What are you doing Jack?" She asked her voice finally showing a hint of despair.

"I'm taking a shower Sarah and then I'm going to work." He said.

"Will you be home tonight?" She asked.

"No." He answered and stepped into the shower before she had a chance to badger him further.

When he stepped out of the shower she was gone. He had no idea when she left or if she was upset when she left, he just knew she was gone. He dried himself, dressed, packed a couple of bags and left for work. He buried himself in his patients and their files, on call for the emergency room and too busy to think about what he'd done that morning or if it even mattered to her. By 6 PM he found a quiet moment and he allowed himself to fall onto the couch in his office, his brain and his body tired and ready to spend the night where he lay.

He closed his eyes and there she was, the beautiful brunette that had monopolized his thoughts, no amount of patient load able to push her out of his mind completely. He wanted to call her just to hear her voice, but he wanted to wait, his situation with his wife still very unresolved, her refusal to accept he wanted a divorce and him currently undecided about whether or not to sleep in his office or get a hotel room wasn't what she needed from him. She needed to hear that it was over, that he had a place to live that didn't include his wife and that he wasn't going to hurt her.

He wasn't sure how long he lay sleeping on the couch before he felt the light shaking and his name being called over and over. He finally burst into consciousness, bolting upward and startling the person that had been shaking him. He looked at her and he sighed heavily.

"Sarah what are you doing here?" He asked as he worked to clear his head.

"Why are you doing this Jack? Is the little slut you picked up in the bar worth throwing your marriage away over?" She asked.

"She's not a slut and she picked me up." He answered calmly.

"Jack, would you please just tell me how we went from trying to have a baby to this?" She asked.

"Sarah, our marriage was over before you came up with that last ditch effort to keep me around, but I was willing to try because I do love you, but you don't love me, you can't stand for me to touch you, jesus, why are you trying so hard to stay married to me?" He asked, finally raising his voice, obviously frustrated with her.

"That's not true." She protested.

"It is true Sarah and I'm not going to have children with anyone that wants to conceive in such a cold and unfeeling manner. I don't want to make a baby with a partner who only wants sex when she's ripe. Just stick it in Jack and hurry up, I've got papers to grade. Fuck that." He told her in a disgusted tone.

"That's what this is all about? Because my body couldn't naturally lubricate?" She asked.

"Couldn't or wouldn't? You wouldn't even let me try. Did it ever occur to you that I happen to enjoy your body, that I enjoy foreplay as much as you're supposed to, that making you feel good makes me feel good." He told her taking notice of how uncomfortable the conversation was making her, as if talking about their sex life was disgusting to her.

"Is sex the only part of our marriage you care about Jack?" She complained and he let go of a breathy, frustrated laugh.

"If it were Sarah I would've left months ago." He told her, reaching into his pocket for his vibrating cell phone.

Jack looked at the caller ID, saw that it was Kate and got up, moving to the other side of the room so he could take the call. Sarah watched him closely, listening to his side of the conversation.

"Hey."

"Um, yeah that sounds good, but I'm on until nine o'clock."

"I know where that is."

"Yeah, bye."

He kept the conversation short and emotionless, but she knew he was making plans to meet his new lover and she came at him, angry, both hands landing hard on his chest. He took hold of her wrists so she'd stop hitting him, noticing immediately that there were no tears. She was just mad that he wasn't backing down, that for the first time since they'd met he was doing what felt right for him instead of what he felt was right for everyone else.

"Sarah I don't understand what's going on with you. You have been unhappy for months, you don't want me physically or emotionally and when I decide to set you free you act like you never saw it coming, like you didn't want this." He said, his tone calm again.

"I don't want this Jack, I want us to work this out. What if I'm pregnant?" She asked.

"We had sex once in the last two or three months Sarah, what are the odds." He resisted her pleas.

"Actually, considering where I'm at in my cycle, the odds are pretty good." She told him seeing that it stabbed as deeply as she hoped it would.

His pager went off before he could respond. She rolled her eyes and walked away from him. He noticed the eye-rolling, that his job, his patient was interfering with her plans and the little bit of chipping away at his armor she'd managed to accomplished with the pregnancy threat was instantly repaired.

"She's five Sarah and she's critical and probably not going to live to see another day, but I'll be sure to let her parents know that they're fucking up your evening." Jack spat.

"That's not..." She tried to argue, but he put his hands up, waving her off, grabbing his white coat off the chair and his stethoscope off the desk.

"Save it for someone that hasn't heard it a thousand times. I've got to go to work Sarah. Go home." He told her and left his office.


	9. Chapter 9

He stood outside the door of the town home, two hours late and unsure if he should ring the doorbell or go home and try to make amends the next chance he had to see her. Then he remembered he didn't have a home to go home to so he decided he would just knock lightly, that way if she was sleeping he wouldn't wake her. He continued to stand in front of the door struggling with what the right thing to do was when the door swung open suddenly, scaring him and making him place his hand over his chest.

"Jesus Christ Kate, don't do that." He said making her giggle.

"You've been standing out here for over five minutes Jack. What's the problem?" She asked.

"The problem is you went to the trouble to cook for me and I'm two hours late. I'm sorry." He apologized and then waited to be read the riot act.

"You're a doctor, I assumed you got tied up with someone that needed you more than I did. So are you going to come in?" She said taking note of the surprised look on his face.

He walked through the door and she closed it. He followed her into a large living room and stood, looking around the room, noticing immediately how comfortable and welcoming it looked. He then looked at her and how comfortable and welcoming she looked standing in front of him in an over-sized t-shirt and he assumed panties and a pair of fuzzy looking multi-colored sock things on her feet.

"I'm sorry Kate, I had a patient, a little girl, she didn't make it." Jack explained.

"I'm sorry." Kate said and encouraged him to sit down.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too." He sighed and sat down.

"Is there anything I can do? Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, her concern genuine and he smiled an appreciative smile at her.

"No, I'm fine, I just feel bad for screwing up your plans." He said.

"It's not a big deal Jack. Are you hungry, it'll take 5 minutes to heat you up a plate." She offered and then squealed when he pulled her into his lap, wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her.

She straddled him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him some more, longer, deeper and wetter, both apparently very hungry, but not for food. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. He had the sweetest, warmest expressions she'd ever seen and she discovered quickly she was a sucker for just about every one of them. He held her close and moved his hands over her, letting them come to rest on her waist, just above her hips and then kissing her once more, quickly.

"You feel so good, so warm, soft and comfortable." He said.

"You feel good too, warm and comfortable, but not so soft." She teased and gently gyrated her hips over the front of his pants.

"Yeah, I've caught myself thinking about you quite a bit today and those surgical scrubs I wear weren't meant to be worn when you're horny." He chuckled.

"Jack, were you making a tent in the front of your pants for the nurses all day?" She laughed.

He moved his mouth close to her ear, nibbling on the lobe for a few seconds before speaking.

"No, I took a shower, pictured your naked body draped over mine and jerked off." He told her, making her moan.

"Mmm, you in the shower jerking off is a great mental image. Would you like to recreate it for me after we eat?" She asked.

"Not tonight. I want to be inside you when I come. I want to be inside you right now." He replied and kissed her again.

"Inside me, fucking me so hard I have to hang on to the bed?" She asked making him moan this time.

"Yeah, or so slow and gentle you melt into this couch, quivering and panting, swallowing my cock in your juices." He played along.

She closed her mouth over his, their tongues slowly working together as their bodies continued to heat up, both starting to pull at the other's clothes. It hadn't been 24 hours since the last time they made love, but he was craving her like it had been weeks. He felt her hands going for his belt and he pulled out of the kiss and stopped her.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing, I want to play with your body, suck on your nipples, fuck you with my tongue, make you come in my mouth. Do you want me to do that Kate?" He asked in a sultry tone.

She slid off his lap and stood in front of him. She took hold of his hand and tugged gently.

"Let's go, the bedroom is upstairs." She said their eyes staying locked on each other.

"Show me the way." He said softly and stood up.

She continued to hold onto his hand and led him out of the living room, up the stairs and into her bedroom. They wasted no time removing their clothes. His cock was standing out straight and she immediately slid down onto her knees in front of him, taking him into her mouth and encouraging him to move back and sit on the bed. He couldn't have resisted if he wanted to, visions of her mouth swallowing him up had clouded his thoughts all day long.

He ran his fingers through her hair and watched her devour him and then as quickly as she had started she stopped and crawled up onto the bed, toward the headboard, propping two pillows up and allowing her back to rest against them. He turned to face her, scooting more of himself onto the bed. She stuck two of her fingers into his mouth and he licked them, got them as wet as he could and she pulled them away, pulling her knees up and letting her legs fall back, exposing herself to him and completely drawing him in, mesmerized by what she was doing. She began masturbating for him and he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Why won't you masturbate for me Jack?" She asked.

"I will, just not now, not tonight, I want to concentrate on you." He mumbled, his eyes never leaving the show she was putting on for him.

"You know Jack being willing to perform such a personal act in front of someone requires a certain level of trust. What would you say if I told you that you're the first man I've ever done this for?" She asked.

"I'd say I'm a lucky guy." He answered his cock so hard his hand was wrapped around it and pulling on it before he realized what she'd just sucked him into.

She reached out and pulled his hand away from his cock, pulling it toward her and letting him slowly run his fingers though her dripping, wet crease. He groaned and started to move toward her, but when she pulled his hand away and placed it back over his own crotch he knew what she wanted.

"Everything about this thing between us screams 'DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN' but I do, I trust you enough to let you watch me play with my pussy, do you trust me enough to let me watch you pleasure yourself?" She continued with her seduction, a seduction she was very good at, one he found he couldn't resist no matter what it was she was wanting him to partake in.

He gripped his cock again and began moving his fist up and down, spreading her slippery wetness over his hardened shaft, his eyes fixated on her pussy and more importantly the sight of her fingers penetrating it, pulling out and spreading her folds, exposing her clit to him so he could watch her play with it. He picked up his pace, what he was watching such a turn-on he was on the edge of an orgasm, the beginning of his ejaculation dripping down over his hand. She watched him grip himself tighter and pump until he had spilled his last drop, his eyes now closed and focused on the apparently really good orgasm he was experiencing. She steadily worked to bring on her own release, the sight of him pleasuring himself so hot she was literally sweating. He opened his eyes and continued to watch her, licking his lips, wanting to push her hand out of the way and satisfy her with his mouth.

"That was so hot Jack, thank you. You know, the man I was married to for a few hours said he never jerked off. He said it was inappropriate behavior. What do you think Jack?" She asked.

He moved forward, leaning as close to her as he could without actually touching her, his breath on her neck, his strong, muscular body all but covering hers, her hand still working feverishly for release.

"There are two kinds of liars when it comes to that topic Kate, there are the men that say they never have and those that claim they've stopped." He told her making her giggle and lose her concentration, taking her hand away and looking into his eyes.

"He told me he didn't want a wife that gave head or liked to be fucked from behind. He said that was slutty behavior. What do you think about a man that claims a woman that likes to be fucked from behind is slutty, but gets caught doing that very thing on his wedding day and not with his new bride?" She asked.

"I think he has a skewed idea of women and relationships. Lay back and let me see if I can help you put that guy out of your mind." He told her, his voice just above a whisper.

"What about you Jack, will I ever be able to help you put your wife out of your mind?" She asked.

"You already do." He told her, covering her mouth with his and sliding both of them down until their heads were resting on pillows, side by side, pulling out of the kiss and gazing into her eyes.

"Is that because I'm slutty and your wife isn't?" She asked.

"Is that what you've been trying to be with me Kate? Slutty? Is this not the real you? Is it all just an act to get back at the man that broke your heart?" He asked.

"Would you lose interest if it were? Would you still come around if I were as vanilla in the bedroom as you wife?" She asked.

"What makes you think our sex life was boring Kate?" He asked, propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at her.

"Is it?" She asked.

He considered feeling offended, like she was playing some fucked up game with him that he wasn't interested in playing any longer, but he caught something in her eyes, something that resembled doubt with a hint of sadness and he understood what she was doing and he couldn't really blame her.

"Our sex life is non-existent and has been for months Kate, but before everything went sour, before she stopped loving me and went cold, it was good and never boring. You're uninhibited approach to sex isn't the attraction here Kate." He said his voice calm, sweet, almost nurturing.

"What is the attraction Jack?" She asked.

"You. Just you. Sweet, sexy, beautiful you." He told her and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Sweet? What makes you think I'm sweet?" She laughed lightly.

"You are. You made me dinner and didn't yell and scream when I ruined it and didn't call me a jerk when I went straight for sex instead of taking the time to sit down and eat what you took the trouble to cook for me. Want to get dressed and start the night over?" He asked.

"Are you hungry or are you just being nice?" She asked.

He placed her hand over his stomach so she could feel it rumbling.

"I haven't eaten since this morning. Sometimes what I do, whatever I've had to deal with really screws with my appetite, so I don't always feel hungry when I should. I wasn't hungry when I got here, but I am now." He told her.

"Will you be spending the night after dinner?" She asked running her finger down the center of his chest.

"Are you inviting me to spend the night Kate?" He asked.

"Of course and you can put your underwear on if you want, but you don't have to get dressed to eat. It's just lasagna." She told him.

"I like eating lasagna in my underwear. The pieces you drop wash off your bare chest much easier than they do a white dress shirt." He teased.

She pulled her t-shirt on and he slipped his boxers on and he followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. She handed him a beer and instructed him to sit at the table while she warmed up two plates of food. He watched her move around the kitchen wearing nothing but a t-shirt, knowing she wasn't wearing any panties and feeling his cock hardening again and he had to refocus his thoughts on being hungry, on appreciating that she cared enough to cook something for him and judging by the way it looked had also waited for him so she could eat with him. He mentally smacked himself and called himself an insensitive jerk, never intending to make her feel used for sex, but having accomplished just that by thinking with his dick instead of his head. She sat at the table with him while the food warmed up and he took hold of her hand.

"I'm sorry Kate. I didn't mean to make you feel like all I ever want from you is sex. You know we could eat and then just snuggle up together and sleep, we don't have to..." He offered, her kissing him quickly and hushing him before he had a chance to finish.

"Don't be sorry, the show you put on for me was so worth waiting another 20 minutes to get to dinner and we will be fucking tonight Jack because I want you inside me as bad as you want to be there." She told him, glancing at the bulge that had been steadily building in the front of his boxers and then shooting him a mischievous grin, eyes sparkling and happy and he smiled back at her realizing he could fall very hard for this woman if he wasn't careful.

They ate their dinner, drank their beers and made small talk. She talked about the latest mansion she was attempting to sell and he told her about the tiny patient that finally slipped away from him after a hard fought battle against meningitis. He didn't bring up the fact that he had left his wife, not because he was unsure about what he'd done, but because he didn't want to think about her, not while he was enjoying something so relaxing and so incredibly normal, a normal he hadn't known in a very long time.

She insisted he sit at the table and drink another beer while she rinsed the dishes and put them into the dishwasher. He watched her at the sink, her bare legs and the t-shirt hanging a few inches below her butt. He knew she was naked under the shirt and when she confirmed that for him by purposely bending over further than she needed to in order to place the plates in the dishwasher he stood and approached her from behind, pinning her to the edge of the counter top in front of the sink.

He let his hands slide up under her t-shirt, around to her front, cupping her pussy and then letting his middle finger slip between her folds and slide up and down, keeping enough of his weight on her to keep her from moving or attempting to turn around. He continued moving his finger through her now wet, slippery crease, taking it all the way down and penetrating her slowly, making her moan loudly and move her legs a little further apart, opening up for him. He wrapped his free arm around her and let her fall back into his chest, supporting all of her weight while he continued to satisfy her with his hand.

"You're so wet Kate, I love that you get so wet for me." He whispered into her.

"Put you fingers on my clit and tell me how you're going to make me come and then bend me over that table and fuck me hard." She begged and then whimpered when she felt the soft pad of his fingertip begin to rub slow circles over her clit.

"You like that don't you? You're coming right now aren't you? That's it enjoy it, soak my hand so I know that when I bend you over that table my cock will slide right in." He told her, holding tightly to her while she quivered from head to toe, both of her arms clutching his strong, muscular forearm.

He waited for her to bottom out and then moved them over to the table. He pulled the chair away from the end of it and stopped once the top of her thighs were touching the edge of the table. He lifted her t-shirt, considered leaving it bunched around her waist and then decided he wanted her completely naked and pulled it up over her head and tossed it across the kitchen. He cupped both of his hands over her breasts from behind and pulled her bare back into his chest, kissing and nibbling on the back of her neck and then suddenly without warning he bent her over the table and pushed himself inside her quickly, his cock throbbing and pressing, and demanding she take more of him and she relaxed and then gasped loudly when she felt the rest of him plunge into her.

"Oh god Jack that feels fantastic, go hard, make me scream." She demanded.

He immediately gave into her demands, holding onto her hips and thrusting into her hard and fast, too frenzied for him to take care of her needs. He finally pulled out of her and turned her around, lifting her up and reconnecting them, kissing her while he walked into the living room with her, laying her back on the couch and pushing in as deep as he could, holding for a moment and then finding a rhythm. His arms were getting tired, his body was sweaty and she was beginning to quiver below him, being very verbal, telling him what he felt like inside her, what he was doing to her and then finally grabbing his shoulders, pulling him down, wrapping him in a tight embrace and screaming like she never had before, making him come hard, both of them writhing about and then finally stilling, no sound in the room but the steady beat of their hearts and their labored breathing.

She finally loosened her grip on him and he pulled back, staying inside of her and kissing her. It was a long, passionate, meaningful kiss that nearly took her breath away and then they broke the kiss, locking their eyes on one another. She saw it immediately, that look, the one that made her believe in him when everything she knew about men and relationships told her she shouldn't and she smiled a content, happy smile. He didn't know where it came from, but he suddenly felt his breath hitch, as if what was directly in front of him did take his breath away for a moment and he returned her smile. He kissed her once more and then he brushed his stubbled cheek over hers, lightly kissing her neck, taking in her scent and then raising his head again to look at her.

"You aren't slutty Kate, you're amazing, the most amazing woman I've ever known." He told her and let her pull him in for another long, wet, sloppy kiss.


	10. Chapter 10

He awoke to the feeling of light kisses being placed on his stomach, her nose nuzzling through the hair, while her lips gently grazed his flesh. He decided it was a nice way to wake up, something he could get used to if he allowed himself to. He let his hand glide slowly through her hair and then over her back, the soft, warm skin against his hand also quite nice to wake up to. She felt him touching her and kissed her way up his chest to his mouth, planting a quick kiss on his lips while allowing her body to lay over his.

"Good morning sleepy head. I just love your tummy by the way." She said and smiled at him.

"My tummy is happy you feel that way." He chuckled.

"I wasn't sure if you needed to be some place so I thought I should wake you." She told him while allowing her hips to slowly gyrate over an already impressive erection.

"That was a nice way to wake up and I have a feeling it's about to get even nicer." He said, stilling her gyrating hips.

"That depends." She teased.

"Depends on what?" He asked.

"On whether or not you need to be some place." She said and pushed herself up, planting her palms on this chest.

He slid his hands up her sides slowly, bringing them around and cupping her breasts before pulling her back down and whispering in her ear.

"The only place I need to be at the moment is inside you." He told her.

She wasted no time putting him into position and slowly sliding onto him, lying forward onto his stomach and chest and him drawing his knees up, his arms wrapped around her and their mouths locked in a passionate kiss. He held her close and fucked her slowly, their mouths breaking for air and then re-engaging, hotter and sloppier then when they broke as they both neared their climax.

She pulled her mouth away from his and buried her face in his neck, her mouth latching onto him and marking him hard as he brought her closer and closer, slowly driving his hard cock into her and then retreating. He never flinched, never suggested she stop, never gave her any sign that her putting a very large hickey on his neck was a bad idea so she continued on until the orgasm hit, her sucking and biting replaced by moaning and panting as he quickened his pace to bring her completely over the edge.

"Oh fuck Jack that feels so amazing, don't stop." She demanded as he pounded into her quick and hard, letting her finish and then filling her with his release.

She stayed on top of him, his satisfied cock still inside of her and him making no moves to separate them, as if he was willing to stay connected to her and go again. She sat up and he winced, still a little sensitive.

"Sorry." She apologized.

"Don't be, I think I'm getting hard again already." He said with a grin.

"You've got quite a bit of stamina for an old guy." She teased.

"I'm not old, I'm experienced." He argued.

"Yeah? How experienced are you Jack? 37, 38, 40 years of experience?" She asked.

"Something like that." He replied.

"How experienced do you think I am Jack?" She asked.

"You don't look a day over 21 Kate." He lied and laughed lightly.

"Good answer." She laughed.

"What time is it?" He asked.

"It is 7:30." She answered.

"Damn, no wonder I'm still tired." He said.

"Well, whose fault is that?" She asked.

"Yours for being so goddamn hot and sexy and wanting to fuck like rabbits until 4 AM." He told her.

She looked at his neck and saw the large red and purple mark she'd left there and bit her bottom lip in an attempt to bite back the grin that was surfacing.

"Yeah, I know what you did. How bad is it?" He asked.

"It's bad Jack, but I think a shirt collar buttoned up with a tie will hide most of it." She giggled.

"Oh well, as long as most of it is covered. Paybacks are hell you know that right." He said, rolling her onto her back and latching onto her neck before she had a chance to react.

"No Jack, not on my neck, please, my bosses wouldn't like it." She pleaded through her laughter.

"Can't have you getting fired, not when I'm in need of a realtor in the worst way." He said and moved his mouth down to her breast.

He began sucking the tender flesh into his mouth and before long he was sucking on her nipples and making love to her again, both coming quick and hard. He pulled out of her and rolled onto his back.

"You're right Kate, I'm too old for marathon sex." He huffed, making her laugh.

She curled up next to him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Jack, what did you mean when you said you needed a realtor?" She asked.

"I told Sarah I wanted a divorce and moved out yesterday." He answered.

"I'm sorry, that must've been difficult for you." She offered, genuinely concerned about how it was affecting him instead of seeing it as a victory for herself.

"Thanks, but it's really not so bad, there were no tears, she's more pissed off than hurt. I wish I knew what it is she wants from me. She doesn't love me anymore yet she is fighting hard to keep me around. You're a woman, do you have any insight into that puzzle?" He asked.

"Which puzzle? Why she stopped loving you or why she wants to keep you around?" Kate asked making him let go of a light laugh.

"Both I guess." He said.

"I don't know anything about your relationship so I really can't offer any insight into why she would love you enough to marry you and then stop loving you so quickly, but it sounds like it's more about her than you. Maybe she's having an affair too." Kate offered.

"No...really...you think?" He asked probably less offended by the idea now than he would've been a month ago.

"You said you had a healthy sex life and then one day it just went cold so unless she's having some kind of sexual hang-up issues she's probably fucking someone else." Kate said.

"Okay, but why so eager to keep me around if she's got some other guy waiting in the wings?" Jack asked his pride not nearly as wounded as his intelligence at the moment.

"Jack, you trusted your wife, don't beat yourself up or wonder why you were too stupid to see it." Kate said, her ability to tune into exactly what he was feeling startling him.

"She wasn't too stupid to see it. She hit me with it the minute I walked through the door yesterday, wanted to know who you were." Jack said.

"Well Jack apparently she didn't trust you as much as you trusted her or she was just grasping and was shocked when you actually admitted to it, but hey it's just my theory, she may not be screwing anyone, maybe she just wasn't as in love as she thought." Kate offered.

"It's pretty clear there's no love there any longer, so why is she trying to hang onto something that's dead?" He asked.

"Jack are you seriously this naive about women?" Kate laughed.

"Apparently I am." He replied not sharing in her amusement.

She lifted herself up and looked at him. He was truly puzzled by what his wife was doing to him.

"Jack, you are a gorgeous man and a successful surgeon, of course your wife wants to keep you around. You're a hell of a catch and what better trophy to have on your arm for all those parties and dinners she probably loves to attend. I bet you can't peel her off of you during those times." Kate suggested.

"So I'm just a trophy to her?" Jack asked, clearly never having considered himself worthy of being anyone's trophy.

"Did you think that men were the only creatures on the planet that were into trophies instead of real relationships?" Kate asked.

"I guess I never thought about it at all. I'm just a guy that would've been happy with the wife, the kids, the dog and the house with the white picket fence." He sighed and shrugged slightly.

"Where are you living?" She asked.

"No place yet, the hospital, my car." He said.

"Okay, where would you like to live?" She asked.

"I haven't really had time to think about it. I'm taking a couple of days off at the end of the week so I can find some place. I'll just sleep in my office or get a hotel room until then." He said through a yawn.

"There are some great studio apartments not far from the hospital you work at, want me to get you an appointment to look at one?" She asked.

"I need an appointment?" He laughed.

"Yeah, they're picky about who they rent them to, but the apartments are really nice and perfect for a busy bachelor." She told him.

"Sure, it sounds good. I should get up, I've got rounds and then a surgery and ton of paperwork." He said and moved out of the bed.

He dressed in the clothes he had arrived in, kissed her goodbye and left. She knew she wouldn't see him again until he was ready to see the studio apartment and maybe not even then. He was a bit of a mess emotionally, unsure of what he was doing or feeling or how to deal with the game his wife was playing with him. The fact that she could read him that well scared her and the fact that she felt sad when she watched him drive away scared her even more.

She didn't hear from him for a few days and then he called to let her know he would be too busy to look at apartments. She assumed he was trying to reconcile with his wife and chalked it up to another bad choice on her part so when he showed up at her office two weeks later with a single red rose and looking like he'd just walked off the cover of GQ she didn't know whether to kiss him or slap him.

"What are you doing here Jack?" She asked.

"I thought you might want to have dinner with me." He said.

"Well, you thought wrong. I don't know what kind of game you're playing Jack, but I'm not interested in playing any longer." She said.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I know I should've called or tried to see you, but I needed time to catch my breath, to think about things." He apologized.

"Things? You mean things like the fact that you just ended one relationship and you're scared I'm getting too attached." Kate sighed, fighting hard to not let him see the hurt and losing the battle.

"No Kate, I'm scared that I'm getting too attached. I really like you, I like you a lot and what right do I have to have any kind of feelings for you while I'm still married? I've got this crazy wife that might be pregnant who is going to fight this divorce and when that doesn't work she'll go for my bank account. I've also got a job, a passion, that consumes a gross amount of my time and then there's, this fun, beautiful woman that makes me forget all the shit in my life whenever I'm with her and she deserves more than what I have to offer at the moment. I knew if I didn't cool it and put some space between us I wasn't going to be able to back away because you are close to becoming a need instead of a want." He told her.

"So what if it's too late Jack?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"What if the want has already become a need, what if I don't want you to back off." She said sadly.

"Why would you want or need me Kate? What do I have to offer? Why would you want to be dragged through my nasty divorce or burdened with watching me deal with an unwanted pregnancy?" He asked.

"Because you're a nice guy Jack, a good guy who shouldn't have to go through that alone. We have great sex together Jack and we laugh well together, I think we could be great as friends too and I don't know about you, but I could use a good friend." She told him.

"Friends? Come on Kate, is that even possible? How long do you think we can keep hooking up for no-strings sex before it gets complicated? We can be lovers or we can be friends, but we can't be both, it's too good, too intense and you know it." Jack argued.

"Why are you here then Jack? Why the pretty flower and the dinner invitation? Did you want to take me out and feed me before you tell me to hit the road for good?" Kate asked.

"No………I don't know. You weren't supposed to be like this." He said dropping himself into the chair opposite her desk, hanging his head in defeat.

"Like what Jack?" She asked.

"You weren't supposed to have been hurt. You weren't supposed to need me too." He said and ran one of his hands through his short hair.

"Too?" She asked.

"Yes. I've been so fucking miserable I can't sleep, can't eat and am entirely too distracted at work. I can't get you off my mind, your taste, your smell, the way you attach yourself to me and put yourself to sleep running your fingers through my chest hair. It's insane right? I'm just being needy and clingy because I'm getting divorced right?" He asked.

She bit back the smile that was trying to force its way through. He was never more adorable to her then he was at this moment, so raw and honest and emotionally confused she wanted to take him home with her and protect him from the world. Instead she moved from behind her desk and allowed him to pull her into his lap. She picked up the rose and smelled it and then set it back down. She then placed her hands on the sides of his face and they shared and sweet, sensual kiss that eventually grew anxious and passionate the longer it went on, his hands all over her, finding the hem of her dress and slowly pushing it up her legs. She stood and closed the door to her office, checking to make sure all the blinds in the windows were closed and then holding her hand out to him. He took her hand and stood, pulling her tiny frame into his body and wrapping his arms around her.

"I took your advice on the studio apartment. It's not far from here, but I guess you already know that. There's not much furniture yet, but it has a bed." He spoke softly into her ear, his growing need pressing against her.

"What about dinner?" She teased.

"There's a great Chinese place close by that delivers." He answered in a desperate tone.

They locked Kate's office and made the short drive to his apartment. She opted to leave her car behind and ride with him, teasing and taunting and playing with him through his slacks the entire way, driving him crazy and making it impossible to concentrate on anything but what she was doing to him, so much so he nearly missed his freeway exit. They parked in the attached parking garage and rode the elevator to the 5th floor, their bodies wrapped around each other, their mouths sloppily and hungrily going after one another. They managed to peel themselves off on another long enough for him to put the key in the door and let them in, slamming the door shut behind them, her all over him again.

"What if I just went down on you right here Jack? You'd like that wouldn't you?" She whispered as her hand grabbed him through his slacks.

His mind was gone, the swollen, throbbing appendage in his pants in complete control and her happy to relinquish all control to his current need, a need she thought she could satisfy quickly as soon as she dropped his pants and boxers to his ankles and got a glimpse of how hard he was. She pushed him backward until he was pressed against the door, unbuttoning his shirt and placing soft kisses on his tummy, the tummy she loved and had missed very much. She kissed her way down his treasure trail and 

decided to stop teasing when he let go of a faint "please".

She gripped him at his base and slowly took him into her mouth, soaking her panties when he let go of a lengthy moan and began fucking her mouth, holding her head and gently moving his hips forward and then back.

"Jesus Kate I can't take it, I need to be inside you now." He groaned, pulling her away from him and then up to her feet.

He turned her around and unzipped her dress, pushing it forward down her arms and watching it pool around her feet. He unhooked her bra and turned her to face him, gliding the straps down her arms, licking his lips as her breast came into full view. She reached for her panties and he stopped her. She finished unbuttoning his shirt and pushed it off of him while he stepped out of his pants and boxers, his cock bobbing around in front of him, so hard and swollen she couldn't believe he hadn't already lost it and she licked her lips.

"Oh no you don't, I'm going to take you to bed and make you come with my mouth and then you can have it, any way you want it. How do you want it Kate?" He asked, pulling her into him and trapping his pulsating penis between them.

"I want it now, in my mouth Jack. I want to suck it until you come in my mouth and then you can eat my pussy and recharge while you're doing it and then we can fuck slow and easy, you like it when you can slide in and out of me slow and easy, don't you Jack?" She told him, feeling his trapped cock twitch as he pushed her backward toward the bed.

He sat down and she followed, taking his cock into her mouth and swirling her tongue around, licking, nibbling, sucking and gently pumping. She had two weeks worth of cock sucking to make up for and he was convinced he was getting every bit of that in one blow job, his orgasm powerful, grunting and groaning as he filled her mouth with his seed and she drank him up like she was dying of thirst and he was the only source of water.

"Jesus Kate." He mumbled as she continued to lick him clean, him mind numb and his cock satisfied for the moment.

He laid her back onto the bed and pulled her panties down her legs slowly, the smell, her sweet, familiar smell hitting his nose and he wasn't sure, but he thought he might've let go of a humming noise. He had missed her more than he dreamed he would and not just the sex, her and how good she could make him feel in and out of bed. He pushed her legs back, kissing the inside of her thighs and all around the edges of her pussy, along the bikini line and then up, hovering over her and sucking one nipple into this mouth gently while his hand massaged the other, making her squirm below him, bringing her hips up to make contact with his body in any way she could.

"Patience Kate." He chuckled and continued to kiss and nibble his way over her upper chest, her neck and then back down, landing soft kisses down her breast bone and then her stomach, kissing it softly and then looking up at her.

"Your tummy does nothing for me Kate, but I do love everything above it and below it." He said with a grin and moved his mouth down, slowly moving his tongue through her wetness, making her moan and open wider for him.

It didn't take her long to begin quivering and the panting and then let go of his favorite sound, a high pitched squeal followed by "oh yeah, fuck me Jack, fuck me". He loved hearing it, the sound of it making him want to do just that until his body refused to go any longer.

His cock was hard again and he moved up and pushed himself into her, holding his position while hovering over her and looking into her eyes.

"Slow and easy?" He asked.

She pulled him down and kissed him slowly and deeply, answering his question as he began moving within her, kissing her, holding her, him loving her and her loving him though neither was ready to accept that's what was happening between them, that the sex they were sharing was starting to come with some very deep feelings attached, which was making it even more intense every time they made love, this time, following a two week break, being as intense as any time had ever been. He pulled out of the kiss, watching her, their bodies sweating and her holding tight to his forearms. She was close, her walls beginning to clench around him.

"Deeper Jack, fuck me deeper." She pleaded.

He put an arm under one of her thighs and pushed it back as far as could and drove himself in as far as he could making her gasp and tighten the grip she had on his arm.

"That's it, as deep as you can, oh god that's it." She cried out and shook and shuddered below him, his own release following right behind, filling her womb and holding his position until he was sure he'd spilled his last drop and then both of them collapsing onto the bed on their backs.

They lay side by side, their bodies cooling and their brains regaining normal function. He finally sat up, grabbed the phone beside the bed and ordered some food for them, dropping the phone and leaning over her and kissing her for a long time before lying back down. She attached herself to him as he referred to it and they lay together in silence for a few minutes.

"That was pretty amazing Jack." She complimented.

"You're amazing Kate." He replied.

"So, two mattresses stacked on the floor is your idea of a bed?" She asked.

"It's comfortable, that's all that matters. I hate shopping for anything and it was easy to walk into some place and say, I'll take those two mattresses." He said.

"Okay Jack, but if you'd like some help furnishing this place I'd be happy to help you out." She laughed.

"I have a refrigerator stocked with beer, a bed and a pretty girl. Is anything else necessary?" He teased.

The doorbell rang before she had a chance to respond.

"The food's here, I'll get it." She volunteered and jumped up off the bed.

He sat up and watched her put his shirt on and button a few buttons, the idea of her answering the door wearing nothing but his shirt strangely erotic to him.

"Get some money out of my wallet. It's in my pants." He told her.

She grabbed his wallet and took it to him. He pulled a twenty dollar bill out and handed it to her and the doorbell rang again.

"I'm coming!" She yelled and made her way to the door.

"What again?" He joked.

She turned to look at him to respond to his awful joke while turning the doorknob.

"You always make me come at least twice, that's why I stick around. I'm only in it for the orgasms stud." She teased and opened the door.

The big smile on her face immediately disappeared. There wasn't a kid delivering Chinese food on the other side, but instead a blonde, the blonde woman from the picture on Jack's desk.


	11. Chapter 11

The two women stood motionless for a moment, both looking the other up and down and neither sure what to say to the other. Sarah immediately recognized the shirt the young, pretty brunette had wrapped around her small, athletic frame and she felt a twinge of jealousy along with quite a bit of rage. She never in her wildest dreams would've believed that Jack would cheat, much less carry on a full blown affair. Kate could see the anger in the woman's eyes and decided not to introduce herself.

"Jack your wife is here." Kate finally called out, the bed he was lying in located on the other side of the room, but not hidden from sight.

Sarah diverted her attention to the bed and watched him slowly move off it, making no attempt to hide his nudity as he stepped into a closet. He walked out of the closet zipping up a pair of jeans, leaving the button at the top unfastened. He approached the two women and although he was clearly irritated by the intrusion he remained calm.

"I uh, just give me a minute to get dressed and I'll leave the two of you alone." Kate offered and bent down to pick up her discarded dress.

"No Kate, I invited you here and I want you to stay. Please don't leave." Jack said taking the dress from her and placing a reassuring hand on her back.

"What are you doing Jack? It's time for you stop this nonsense and come home." Sarah demanded.

"Sarah, this is home for me now. Why are you here?" He asked remaining calm with her.

"An attorney called me today Jack, some guy I've never heard of before, but who seemed to know a lot about me called to make an appointment for me to come talk to him, to lay out what I felt I needed or deserved in the divorce settlement. I can't believe you've done all this without even trying to talk with me about it." Sarah spat angrily at him.

"There's nothing to discuss Sarah, our marriage is dead. Look, I don't want this divorce to be any more unpleasant than it has to be so just tell me what you need and I'll provide that." He told her still keeping a quiet and even tone with her.

"Well that's too bad Jack because if you think you're going to get rid of me so you can play with your little sex toy then you better think again because I won't just go away and let this whore win!" Sarah snapped and then backed up when she saw the anger in his eyes.

"Look, you be as angry with me as you like, but you leave Kate out of it. Enough of the name calling Sarah, you don't know anything about her. You and I were over before I met her and what is this win bullshit, am I a prize Sarah, is that what I am to you?" Jack said, his voice angry, but not to the point of yelling.

"You don't think that little slut views you as a prize Jack? Please, she's hit the jackpot and she knows it." Sarah seethed.

"I think you should leave." Jack told her, more of an order than a suggestion.

"You're really going to do this aren't you? You don't even care that I might be pregnant." She accused.

"If you are pregnant Sarah, I will take care of my child and you know that so why even toss that out there? Are we playing a game here Sarah? Keep good old Jack on the hook by holding a baby over his head? Baby or no baby, we are over Sarah. I've moved out and I've started divorce proceedings, can I make it any clearer?" Jack asked.

"This isn't over Jack." Sarah threatened and left, slamming the door hard.

Jack stood in the middle of his empty apartment, bare feet on hardwood floors, instinctively pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the side of her head softly.

"I'm sorry about that Kate. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen." He said in a solemn tone.

"It's okay Jack. I'm not so fragile and sensitive that you need to protect me from your wife's anger. So she called me a couple of names, I'll survive. I think she has definitley just declared war though so I guess the only question I have is if you're worth fighting for. Should I fight for you Jack or are you going to flake out on me again and leave me wondering where I stand with you?" Kate asked.

"Do you want to fight for me Kate?" He asked.

"If I answer that honestly are you going to run away to think again? You all but promised me that you weren't that guy Jack, but you came very close to being that guy. You told me it was okay to care and then you disappeared on me. So this is your last chance to end this Jack because if you don't, if you convince me that you're worth fighting for and then disappear on me again, you will be that guy. The thing I admire most about you Jack is your honesty so don't let me down now." She told him.

"I knew I was forgiven too easily." He said with a guilty smile.

"It's not about forgiving Jack. I understand you're dealing with things that are confusing you emotionally, but I don't understand why after pushing me to care, you would suddenly think you have to run off and deal with those things alone." Kate told him.

"I don't want to end this Kate and I am sorry for disappearing on you. It was wrong, I know that. What we shared that morning, it was different, there was this level of intimacy that hasn't been there before and I got scared." He told her.

"Why did you get scared?" She asked.

"Because I've never felt like this Kate and I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to protect you or maybe that was just my excuse." He apologized.

"Feel like what Jack, I don't understand." She asked.

"Like this, like this is so good, nothing else matters. Look, I was confused, but I'm not anymore. I want to take this relationship to the next level, whatever that is and I promise, I will not be that guy. I will not hurt you." He promised his eyes sincere, his intent genuine.

"So are you really capable of divorcing a pregnant wife, because the man I've been with doesn't seem like he would have an easy time with that." Kate continued to push, wanting badly to believe in him, but a part of her still concerned his ties with his wife would eventually be too much for their relationship to endure.

"It would be difficult for me and Sarah is counting on that, I'm sure about at least that much now. I've given it a lot of thought and then I thought about us and how we've never even discussed birth control, much less done anything to prevent pregnancy and I wondered what I'd do if both of you were pregnant. Which woman do I automatically stay with for the sake of a child?" He admitted.

"And what did you come up with?" She asked.

"I would of course love and take care of any child of mine, but that is no reason to stay in a relationship, especially a loveless one. So, if Sarah is pregnant I'll deal with support and custody issues after it's born and if you were pregnant I guess since we're still a work in progress we'd just have to take it one day at a time." He told her.

She pulled back, slid her hands down his back and let her hands rest on his butt, squeezing lightly and pulling him toward her slightly.

"I guess you really did do some thinking while you were on your little sabbatical and just so you know, I'm on the pill and I'm definitely not pregnant. I want to fight for us, not for you, because you are not a prize, perhaps a gift, but not a prize." She told him and kissed him, pulling his hips into hers.

"There's a difference." He commented.

"There's a big difference Jack. A prize is a shiney object you keep around for bragging rights, keep it on shelf and take it down, dust it off and show it off once in awhile. A gift is a pleasant surprise whose origin is unknown, something meaningful that in time you grow to cherish and never forget to appreciate." She explained.

"Sounds like a pretty good description of you." He said softly, his warm, watery eyes gazing into hers.

They both nodded lightly and he began kissing her, letting his hands slide down and then move up underneath the shirt she was wearing, cupping her bare ass in both hands and moaning into her mouth. He pulled back and began unbuttoning the few buttons she'd taken the time to fasten when the doorbell rang again. This time it was the food. He paid for it, insisted the kid keep the change and closed the door, dropping the food on the small bar that was part of the kitchen and returned his attention to her and her buttons.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"Yeah, but not for what's in that bag." She said with a grin, her hand snaking it's way down to his zipper.

He busied himself with her buttons while she freed him from his jeans, unzipping them and pushing them down his hips. They dropped to the floor and while he watched his shirt slip off her body and drop to the floor, he stepped out of the jeans that were pooled around his feet. They stood facing one another, their bodies and souls and bare as the room that surrounded them. He took in her beauty and swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in his throat while she took the time to absorb all of him and his masculine form, seeing him with the same hungry, sex-crazed eyes as before, but this time with a completely open heart.

She felt a strange, yet exciting fluttering in her stomach as she watched him and he saw it in her eyes, saw the change and he knew that they were going to fuck each other and it didn't matter if it was hard and fast or soft and slow because she was about to open up to him completely emotionally and he once again felt his breath hitch in anticipation of what was about to happen, knowing he was falling hard for her and hoping she was going to catch up to him.

The fears that made him run had included a need to protect her, but in all honesty he was protecting his own heart, not ready to let another woman in only to have her suddenly go cold on him and the look she was giving him told him that she knew that, that she understood what he was afraid of and that she had no intention of being that woman.

She approached him slowly, letting her hands land softly on his chest and then slowly move down to his waist and behind him, latching them behind him and resting her body against his, smiling as she enjoyed the feeling of his strong arms wrapping around her and pulling her closer, hugging her, the feeling so warm and strong she was certain she was about to melt.

She planted soft kisses on his chest as she slowly put a little space between them, her hands coming around to his front and taking hold of his hardening cock, gently gliding her soft hands over it, him closing his eyes and enjoying the way she loved to touch him. She brought her mouth to his ear and spoke softly to him.

"Take me to bed Jack so I can kiss and lick and bite all of you." She whispered.

He lifted her up and carried her over to the makeshift bed, laying her on it and then being pulled down with her, his thigh planted firmly between her legs, her hungry, sensual, lustful eyes making contact with his, the sight of it making his cock harder, making him want to pin her down and fuck her until she begged for mercy. She saw the hunger in his eyes as well, the knowledge of what she could convince him to do in this state making her so wet he groaned as he felt the warm moisture on his leg, wanting and needing to be inside her now.

"I want you so bad." He panted as she opened up for him and he moved to position himself.

"I want you more so do it Jack, do it as hard and rough as you're wanting to right this minute. Make me come and then make me come again." She said, her tone almost pleading.

He put his cock into position and pushed into her hard and she cried out, digging her fingernails into the flesh on his back just below the shoulders and grinding upward into him. She spread her legs as far as she could and pulled them back and up, driving him in deeper.

"Fuck me hard baby." She encouraged and then closed her eyes, biting her bottom lip as he began pounding into her with everything had.

She kept her eyes closed and enjoyed the feeling of his hard, excited cock sliding in and out of her. He was close to being crazed with lust as he worked hard to bring her over the edge, succeeding quickly and never slowing down, pounding away as she came and cried out his name over and over. He pulled out of her and turned her over, entering her from behind and then lowering them to the bed, staying inside her, moving in and out while kissing, licking and biting gently on the soft flesh on her back. His big, strong body hovering over her, making her feel trapped and helpless, but oddly safe at the same time.

He encouraged her back up onto her knees and fucked her as hard as he could, holding onto her hips so his thrusts wouldn't push her head into the wall in front of them. He stopped his movements and held tightly to her.

"Do you want to come?" He panted.

"Yes, please don't stop now." She answered.

He pulled out of her and encouraged her turn back over. He made her comfortable against the stack of pillows and then sat back and looked at her, her naked body so raw and flustered and glistening with a light glaze of sweat that he couldn't decide which part he wanted to lick first.

"You are so beautiful and so sexy and so hot, you make me crazy." He told her and began pinching her nipples with his fingertips.

"Jack, please." She begged.

He smiled at her and then kissed his way down her body, holding her legs apart by keeping a hand on the inside of each thigh and letting his mouth land on her swollen, excited clit, sucking it gently, feeling her breath hitch as the orgasm began to take hold and then the familiar sounds of her letting him know exactly how good it was and him slowly taking the time to lick her clean, the noises coming from her like that of kitten purring with satisfaction.

He'd taken her to a level of ectasy they'd not reached before and it took her awhile to regain her senses, but as soon as she she did she made the move to satisfy him just as much as he'd just satisifed her, pinning him below her and taking his swollen, dripping cock into her mouth, slowly licking and sucking, taking him in until his tip hit the back of her throat and then slowly releasing him, bringing him to the edge and then applying pressure on the underside, just below the head, holding him off and making him grunt and groan as his need to come was becoming painful.

She placed her lips on his balls and sucked on them gently, his cock still hard and enjoying being trapped within the warm embrace of her soft hand. He couldn't remember a time when a woman had his balls in her mouth and his cock in her hand, but he was sure that he had to come this time, that he couldn't take being held off again and when he felt her mouth moving up, lips latching onto the base of his cock and then her tongue slowly moving up he gently took hold of her hair, his way of letting her know she had to let this end and she took as much of him into her mouth as she could and slowly sucked while her hand gently pumped at his base and he let go of an long, breathy growl just before he filled her mouth with his semen and she drank it all down, and just like he'd done to her, licked him clean before coming up off of him.

They curled up together in the center of the bed, her legs tangled over his and the rest of her latched onto him, her fingers gently moving through his chest hair and then there was nothing but the sound of her breathing, his queue to pull a blanket over them and join her, their bodies physically exhausted and their brains ready to rest. He hugged her gently with the arm that was wrapped around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Like I said, a bed and a pretty girl, it's all this man needs." He said softly and closed his eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

She could feel the blanket being tucked safely around her and then felt his lips gently kiss her forehead. She then sensed that the presence that was hovered around her was backing away and she forced her eyes open. The room was dark except for the light coming from the bathroom, but enough light to see that he was dressed and slowly pulling away from her. She worked an arm out from under the blanket and grabbed his forearm before he managed to get away and he sat back down beside her.

"It's early, go back to sleep." He said softly as he let his fingers glide gently over the side of her face.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"To work, I have a surgery scheduled at 6 AM." He said softly.

"God Jack, that's insane, can you even see straight that time of morning?" She groaned making him chuckle.

"When they can take up to 10 hours it's best to get started early. I'll call you when I'm done, take you out to dinner for real tonight if you're free." He offered.

"Just give me a minute and I'll go with you, I need to get my car." She said sleepily.

"Shh, no just go back to sleep, it's 4:30 Kate. I want you to stay here and sleep and when you wake up take my keys and my car and we'll straighten it all out later." He told her.

"Jack, no, I don't want to take your car, I'll just catch a cab." She protested.

"No Kate. I don't want you to spend the night with me and then put you in a cab and send you on your way, it feels tacky. I'm going to jog to the hospital, it's only a couple of miles. Please, don't argue with me." He said and kissed her softly.

"You're going to jog to work Jack?" She asked.

"I like to run, it clears my head." He said.

"Okay, fine, but call me later and I'll bring you your car in-between the two closings I have scheduled today." She said through a yawn and a small stretch.

He looked down at her, her dark curls splayed over the pillows, her sweet, sleepy and slightly confused expression looking back up at him, not sure whether to be irritated with him or touched by his thoughtfulness.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could stay in bed with you. I'll make it up to you, I promise." He said and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Damn right you will, now go, save lives." She said and gave him her best 4:30 in the morning smile.

He leaned in and kissed her again, a lingering kiss that he hoped would sustain him until he could see her again. He pulled back, his hand still gently cupping the side of her face, his eyes locked on hers, not wanting to leave, the sight of her smiling back at him in a sleepy haze taking his breath away for a moment.

"Kate, I...(long pause)...um, I'm glad you're here. I'll call you later." He said, kissed her once more, and left.

She lay in the middle of his bed, her lips still tingling from their kiss and the rest of her already missing his warm body next to hers. She rolled onto her side, closed her eyes, took in the smell of him all over the sheets and imagined him beside her until her brain finally relaxed and slept again.

His surgery lasted a little under 8 hours and the rest of his day would be consumed with seeing his other patients, paper work and a meeting. He called her in-between talking with the family of his surgical patient and grabbing a sandwich from one of the vending machines on his way to a consult. He left a voice mail letting her know she could come by the hospital any time and carried on with his day, thankfully so busy she couldn't consume his thoughts. He was standing at the nurses' station updating a patient's chart when he felt her presence beside him and bit back the large grin that was forcing it's way onto his face. He shot her a quick glance and continued making his annotations.

"Can I help you miss?" One of the nurses behind the counter asked.

"She's here to see me." Jack spoke up glancing at Kate and shooting a mischievous grin at her, a grin that only she could see.

"Oh, okay." The nurse said, eyeing the two of them suspiciously.

"Jill, I'm seeing Ms. Austen about her sciatica so we'll be using exam room five if it's available." Jack told the nurse in his most professional tone and handed her the chart he'd been writing in.

"It's not, but three is vacant." Jill told him.

"Great. Ms. Austen if you'll come with me I'll do a preliminary exam, see what kind of pain you're having and if I need to do an more extensive exam I'll get one of these nice nurses to help you into a gown so we can run some tests." Jack told her and placed a gentle hand on her upper back, leading her down the hall to the examination room.

"I thought she was his realtor." One nurse said.

"Maybe she's hurting and he's just helping her out." Another nurse suggested.

"Yeah, or helping himself." The other nurse offered and they both laughed lightly.

"If that's the case, then good for him, we've all experienced Sarah Shephard, who could blame him." Jill said.

"You've known Dr. Shephard a long time Jill, is it true that he only sleeps with the non-surgical nurses?" One of the nurses asked.

"Dr. Shephard is a very kind, caring man who, as far as I know, doesn't sleep with his co-workers, surgical or otherwise." Jill answered shooting both of the younger women a get to work and stop gossiping look.

Jack led Kate into the exam room, closed the door and pulled her into him, kissing her passionately until they had to break for air. She kept her arms wrapped around his neck, looking up and smiling at him.

"My sciatica?" She giggled.

"Sorry, they're doing some repairs in my office and I wanted to be alone with you for a minute." He said and kissed her again, his hands resting on her lower back, holding her close to him, but not so tight she couldn't move away if she wanted to.

"You mean you didn't bring me in here to examine me, take my temperature?" She teased and nibbled lightly on his neck.

"Kate, were you one of those naughty little girls that liked to play doctor with the boy next door?" He teased back as he slowly backed her toward the exam table.

"Yeah, but our parents caught us naked and wouldn't let us play together anymore. We were four." Kate answered making him chuckle.

"I'll be done here soon. We can go get your car and I'll follow you home, go get some dinner." He offered in-between kisses, her backside now pressed against the exam table.

"Come on Jack, tell me what you really want." She coaxed and grabbed a handful of his hardening length through the thin material of the surgical scrubs he was wearing.

"I want to fuck you of course, I always want you. By not just assuming that you want me to fuck you, I'm being a gentleman Kate." He laughed lightly pulling his mouth from hers and lifting her up onto the table.

"Well stop it. Be bad, naughty, lustful and demanding. Tell me what you want, right before you take it." She said in a seductive tone.

"Okay, but you have to promise you will tell me if you ever don't want it because I'd never want to take anything without your permission Kate." He said softly as his fingers inched their way underneath the hem of her dress and up her thighs.

"Jack, I can't imagine not wanting you to fuck me." She breathed into his ear wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, smiling at the groan the comment elicited from him.

He put enough distance between them to push his pants down and pull his cock out, sliding her back toward him, pushing her panties to the side and thrusting inside her, her warm, slippery walls welcoming him and then squeezing around him.

"You make me crazy, you know that don't you." He told her pulling her closer to the edge of the table so he had better access.

"I know." She said and locked her mouth over his, their bodies joined but not moving while their hungry tongues found a rhythm.

He kept his mouth moving with hers as he moved forward, pushing her backward onto the table and driving himself in deeper, gently taking hold of her legs and moving them up and around as he straightened back up, making her ankles comfortable on his shoulders and then looking down at her, his hands gliding over her hips and up the outside of her thighs, stopping and holding onto them as he began fucking her. She moaned loudly and he shook his head no.

"No noises Kate. Just close your eyes and show me you enjoy me fucking you slow and easy and making you come. I love it when you come for me, love to watch your face and feel your body react." He told her, steadily moving his hard cock in and out of her.

She closed her eyes and focused on how he filled her up, how perfectly they fit and how good he felt when he was inside her. She wanted to fill the room with descriptive words of how he makes her feel, but they couldn't be loud, the risk of being caught already there, so much so the idea of it made her wetter and she came, gripping the sides of the table, whimpering and panting softly while digging her toes into the tops of his shoulders. He made one final thrust and held his position, eyes closed and head dropped back, spilling what he could into her.

She felt him guide her legs down his sides and slip out of her, pushing her back onto the table some so she wouldn't fall off. She sat up and looked at his wet, softening cock. She slid off the table and pushed him backward until the counter stopped his progress, taking him into her mouth and licking and sucking, bringing him to erection again, his hands holding so tightly to the edge of the counter his knuckles were white. It took a little longer than normal, but she managed to get him to come again, leaving him looking ready for a nap and too weak in the knees to pull his pants back up and she smiled at him.

"You're trying to kill me aren't you?" Jack huffed as he weakly tugged at his pants.

She reached down and pulled the scrub pants up, securing them snugly around his waist and giving him a kiss.

"Of course not, I just find you too irresistible for your own good. You can punish me for rendering you useless later, after you recover." She giggled.

"You're assuming I'm going to recover." He chuckled.

"Here are your car keys Jack, your car is in the same spot it was the day you had your way with me in your office." She told him.

"Wait, where are you going?" He asked.

"I have another closing and one of the brokers is waiting for me to call so he can swing by and give me a ride. Are you still coming over later to take me out to dinner?" She asked.

"Is 7:30 good for you?" He asked.

"Sounds perfect." She told him.

He managed to pull himself together and walk her to the lobby to wait for her ride. The shared a lengthy goodbye kiss on the front sidewalk and he strolled back inside, ignoring the questioning eyes that were boring holes through his body.

He picked her up closer to 8 PM than 7:30 and they shared a quiet dinner in a casual restaurant, talking, holding hands and eventually allowing things to get out of control under the table. They left the restaurant and ended up wrapped up together in the front seat of his car, their mouths eagerly working together while his hand worked at getting her pants and panties out of his way.

He unfastened and unzipped her jeans, sliding his hand inside, pushing them down and away from her hips, encouraging her to lift up so he could get them off of her. She found herself sitting in the front seat of his car naked from the waist down, his hands moving over her ass and thighs, the need to have him right then and there about to consume her.

He nudged and she opened up for him, feeling his fingers penetrate her and she moaned heavily into his mouth.

"Come sit in my lap." He said in a low, husky tone as he pulled his hand away.

She watched him unfasten his belt and then the button, followed by the zipper. He opened the front of his jeans and pulled himself out, his cock hard, his hand wrapped around its base, holding it so it was standing straight up. She caught herself licking her lips, but the ache between her legs pushed those thoughts out of her head and she slid across the seat toward him, straddled him and let herself sink down onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck, clinging to him, her body shaking and quivering against his.

"Shhh...it's okay, just relax." He said softly, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close and wishing he could hold her closer.

Their mouths came together in a slow, wet, sensual kiss and she began to move, sliding up and down slowly and then rotating over him, both of them breaking the kiss, groaning and panting as their orgasms built. She buried her face in his neck, whimpering and grinding forward nearing release and clinging to as much of him as she could.

"I can't relax, it feels so amazing, I'm coming, come with me Jack." She panted, kissing and nipping at his neck, his hands holding onto her hips while the rest of her body worked feverishly to crawl inside his skin.

They held tightly to one another, their bodies shuddering as their orgasms hit, the moment oddly emotional and intimate considering where they were. She didn't want to come up off him, wanted to stay draped over his chest and snuggled into the space between his shoulder and jaw line, but it would've made driving impossible so she finally lifted herself off of him and sat beside him. She reached for her jeans and panties and he stopped her, reaching into the back seat and handing her a small blanket.

"No sense getting dressed Kate, I'm just going to undress you and fuck you again as soon as we get to your house." He told her, his tone lustful and demanding, the gentleman from earlier that day nowhere to be found and she smiled in anticipation.

She draped the blanket over her bare bottom half and leaned over, letting her head rest on his shoulder while he drove them to her house. Once inside he wasted no time removing the rest of her clothes, pushing himself inside her quickly, her body pinned against the front door, his pants pooled around his ankles, his shirt with hers in the pile on the floor, fucking her so hard she had to hang onto his shoulders to keep the back of her head from hitting the door every time he drove himself into her. He was crazed with desire and she came over and over from the sheer excitement of it, so hard and rough, the sweet, considerate lover she adored currently replaced by the animal she craved and equally adored, the animal that was currently giving her a ride she wouldn't forget any time soon.

He thrust up into her hard one final time and held his position, holding her against the door, profanity spilling from his lips as his cock exploded inside of her. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and her arms around his neck, holding onto him as tightly as he was holding to her. He finally loosened up and lifted her up and off of him, making sure her feet were planted firmly on the floor before he let go of her, his body covered with sweat and his muscles still stinging from the intense burn he'd taken them to during the frenzied fuck. She moved her hand lightly over his chest and then took hold of his hand.

He stepped out of his jeans and followed her up the stairs to her bedroom and into the large bathroom. He stood quietly and watched her fill the Jacuzzi tub with hot water and bath oils, his body exhausted and his brain close to being numb, what he'd just done to her having drained him in ways no woman ever had. He sat in the tub of water and welcomed her soft, tired body as she slithered between his legs on her stomach and draped her body over his, her head resting on the space just below his shoulder and his arms and hands instinctively wrapping up as much of her as he could.

They lay in the water not speaking until it became too cool to enjoy, stepping out of the tub, drying off and moving to the bed where they resumed their tub position.

"Jack, we're going shopping for furniture this weekend. I can't stand the thought of you going home to that sad, empty apartment." She told him.

"Okay." He said, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper.

"Okay? I thought you'd be tougher than that to convince since you hate shopping for anything." She laughed lightly.

"I do hate shopping, but I love being with you." He told her his voice so sleepy she was certain that was the last thing she'd hear from him.

"Jack." She said.

"Yeah." He replied.

"I...(long pause)...um, I love being with you too." She said, snuggling closer and feeling him tighten his hold on her.


	13. Chapter 13

She held tightly to him, arms wrapped around his neck and her lips attached to the side of his neck, kissing and sucking as he moved within her, his stomach taut and pressed tightly against hers, her leg draped over his hip as they lay side by side, intensely making love. His arms held tightly to her while he whispered in her ear, describing how his cock felt inside her, the hard, throbbing member that she could feel sliding in and out of her, filling her, stretching her, making her come once already. She'd awoken to his hands and mouth gently caressing her body, his body completely rejuvenated from the deep sleep that had carried them into the next morning and ready to love her some more, never seeming to be able to get enough of her or her of him and then he was inside her, moving steadily, his skin hot to the touch, his moaning and groaning telling her just how much he wanted her and how happy he was to be having her.

They finished, hot, sticky bodies pressed together, both moaning and panting as their bodies shook and quivered against each other, choosing to stay connected, lying side by side watching one another, but not speaking, his fingers gliding over her exposed flesh, her bare breasts impossible for him to ignore for very long and her hands moving lightly over his chest.

"That was a nice way to wake up." She said.

"Waking up next to you is nice." He said, kissing her softly and finally pulling out of her, rolling onto his back and sitting up.

"Want some breakfast?" She asked.

"No, but thanks. I need to figure out where my clothes are, get dressed and go to work. I'm on call for the ER today so there's no telling what I'll be up to my elbows in." He told her, rubbing the back of his neck and standing.

"Your clothes are downstairs by the front door. Remember?" She said smiling when he turned and grinned at her.

He put his knee on the bed and crawled toward her, hovering over her and kissing her gently.

"I remember wanting to be inside you so bad, I couldn't get there fast enough and couldn't get deep enough once I was there and then there you were, seeming to want it as hard and fast as I could give it to you. I admit it, you wanting me like that is quite a stroke to my ego, but I hope you'll speak up if it's too much, too rough." He told her, his tone sweet, the awestruck look in his eyes melting her.

"Are you kidding? The idea that you could want me so bad you're on verge of hurting me makes me want you just as much, but that's because I know you well enough by now to know that you would never hurt me, that you aren't capable of physically hurting any woman, you are just a really passionate man. You know Jack, I saw the potential for a lot of passion, but I never would've pegged you for such an enthusiastic and adventurous lover the night I spotted you in that bar. I think the fact that you carry yourself so seriously and have this kind, caring and often sweet demeanor about you makes what you do to me and with me that much better because I feel like I've got this naughty secret that not even your wife knows about." Kate said.

"You do. I loved Sarah and we had a healthy sex life before she cut me off, but she never made me feel the way that you do, the pure lust and naughtiness that you bring out of me is unlike anything I've ever experienced with any woman. Maybe that's because you egg it on with your foul-mouthed dirty talk." He said and winked at her.

"It was a game at first Jack. I was playing the bad girl, the girl that would rock your world and then just move on to the next guy, but damn who knew it was going to be so good and so addictive." She told him and giggled an almost embarrassed laugh.

"Who indeed?" He said and kissed her deeply, letting her pull him back down onto the bed with her where she ended up riding both of them into another explosive orgasm before collapsing onto his chest, not moving.

"When we go shopping we have to look for one of those "Naughty Pine" beds, I think it's only appropriate." He huffed making her laugh lightly.

"It's Knotty Pine Jack and you're really cute when you're trying to be funny." She groaned.

"I'm not funny?" He asked feigning an insulted tone.

"I'm laying on your stomach with your cock buried inside of me and I don't want to let you go so no, you're not funny to me right now because I know you're getting ready to take my new favorite toy, put clothes on it and take it away for the day.

"Oh, so that's it, you only like me for my body, specifically my cock." He continued to tease her.

She sat up and looked into his eyes, studying him, his face calm and happy, his mind seemingly clear of all worry and frustration, the three words on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't say it, his happy and peaceful state too perfect for her to ruin by shocking him or possibly even scaring him so she smiled and sat up, keeping him trapped within her.

"That's not true Jack, but if it were could you blame me, I mean god, if you could feel what I'm feeling right now you'd want it inside you all the time too and you'd want to make sure you had it in your mouth at least once a day if not more. Should I continue on Jack and make you hard and horny again and late for work?" She teased.

"Okay, I take it back, you like me for all those wonderful dates I never take you on." He chuckled.

"You can take me to a movie tonight if you're feeling guilty about always just showing up and fucking me senseless all night." She giggled.

"It's a date and I'll even feed you first. You pick the movie and I'll pick you up at seven." He told her, nudging her slowly until she finally moved off of him.

She made him a cup of coffee for the road and sent him on his way, a bit of a headache creeping up on her and a long day of work ahead as well, but knowing she was going to see him again in about 12 hours made her forget all of that and she actually caught herself humming as she walked up the stairs to take a shower and begin her day.

He picked her up at seven as promised and they shared a quick meal in a restaurant/pub. He ate and she played with her food, stirring it around with her fork so it would look like she was making it disappear. He shrugged it off and assumed she wasn't hungry.

They stood outside in the cool, damp December air and she began coughing in fits. He wasn't overly alarmed and decided she was just cold. He bought her a cup of hot chocolate once they were inside and the warm liquid seemed to soothe the irritation that had caused the coughing fit. They sat at the very top corner of the theater in the comfortable, rocking, reclining seats, raising the armrest between them so they were sitting in one big seat, as close as possible without being on top of one another.

Ten minutes into the movie, he noticed they were completely alone, the next closest person three rows down and he began unbuttoning her blouse. She grinned at how completely risky and naughty and exciting this had the potential to be and never considered objecting to him undressing her in the dark, the feel of his warm hand slipping inside the cup of her bra and rubbing the pads of his fingers over her nipple making her bite gently on her bottom lip to keep from making any noise.

He began kissing her, their tongues dancing in perfect rhythm, hungrily going after one another with their mouths, the sensation so mind numbing she didn't noticed him unfastening her pants and slipping his hand down the front, the action so quick his fingers were inside her and moving before she had a chance to react. She sucked her breath in and let go of a light whimper.

"Shhh..." He said and then went back to kissing her, moving closer, his body nearly covering hers at this point, his fingers buried inside her and his thumb rubbing slow circles over her clit.

"I want to fuck Jack." She whispered.

"We can't, it would be too obvious, just relax and let me make you come with my hand." He coaxed.

"Then let's go, let's go to your apartment it's closer. Please Jack, I need you inside me." She pleaded.

He wasn't going to argue with her, his dick was so hard he was glad he'd opted for slacks over jeans when he dressed for the evening. He helped her button all of her clothes back up and they left the theater, faces flushed and in a big enough hurry to turn a few heads as they passed by.

They stepped into the elevator that led to Jack's apartment and he closed his mouth over hers, unfastening her pants again and slipping his hand down the back of them, cupping her butt and then lifting her off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist and when the doors opened he carried her to his door, fumbled through his pocket for his keys, unlocked the door and carried her inside.

He sat her on his bed and stripped his clothes off while she watched, his hard cock bobbing in front of her, daring her to touch it, which of course she did, moving her fingers over him slowly and making him close his eyes, take a deep breath and regain control of the situation. He pushed her back onto the bed and removed her clothes as quickly as he'd removed his own, her naked body below him, ready and wet for him, her eyes pleading with him to take her, all of her, but instead he moved forward and held his cock up to her mouth.

"Suck it Kate." He demanded, his eyes dark with desire.

She eagerly took him into her mouth and allowed him to find a rhythm, him steadily fucking her mouth, sweat dripping down the side of his face as his release neared.

"Stop." He said and pulled out of her mouth.

"Lick it." He told her holding the swollen, purple head up to her mouth again.

She licked him up the underside and then gently over the sensitive head causing him to pull away from her.

"Let it go Jack, you know you want to. Come all over my face if you want to." She coaxed.

"No, I want you to come Kate; I want to watch you play with yourself. I love it when you spread your legs and show me your pussy and stick your fingers in your hole. Show me Kate and I promise to fuck you any way you want for as long as you want." He told her, his voice so raw with lust she could barely hear him.

She made herself comfortable, pillows behind her back so she was sitting up enough to make eye contact with him. Masturbating for him was something she loved to do because she could draw him in so deep his animalistic side would usually take over and give her quite the memorable ride. She opened her legs and looked at him, perched less than two feet away, legs bent underneath him, his cock reaching for his stomach and him stroking it occasionally as he watched her move her fingers through her wetness and spread her folds for him, pushing a finger in and then pulling it back out, gliding up through her crease and making slow circles over her clit, spreading the warm, slippery wetness over the tiny nub and watching him subconsciously lick his lips.

"Do it Jack, you know you want to. Suck my clit and make me come." She said in a demanding tone, unable to contain her squeals when he lunged forward and began making a meal out of her, making her come quickly.

He pulled back, took hold of his cock and put the tip into her hole, grabbing her hips and pulling her forward and up, going up onto his knees and burying himself in as deep as he could, holding her hips up and thrusting into her at a maddening pace.

"Harder Jack, fuck me like you're mad, like a jack hammer, like you mean it." She egged him on, watching him get right to the edge of being completely out of control and pulling back, fucking her so hard and fast she had to cup her hands over her breasts to keep the bobbing and bouncing around from becoming painful.

"Son of a bitch this is too good, come for me baby, come hard." He grunted and pounded harder and harder his entire body dripping with sweat.

"I'm close Jack, don't stop!" She cried out his next thrust driving her over the edge, making her scream and grab two handfuls of the sheets as she tried to clamp onto him with her legs, needing to squeeze into him and ride the orgasm out.

He lowered her hips down to mattress and made one final thrust, pushing them together tightly so he could empty himself into her and so she could ride out her orgasm, eventually pulling out of her and rolling onto his back, exhausted and ready to sleep.

She snuggled up beside him and they never spoke, laying together quietly, her running her fingers though his chest hairs and him letting his fingers glide slowly up and down the length of her arm until one, quickly followed by the other, drifted off to sleep.

He could hear the coughing, his brain caught between sleep and consciousness and unsure if he was dreaming until he heard the sounds of her so strangled by the cough she couldn't catch her breath and he sat up straight, eyes wide and ready to act. She was on her hands and knees, clutching her chest and battling for a breath. He pulled her hands away from her chest and landed a firm palm in the center of her back, the shock of it forcing her to stop panicking and just breathe. He helped her sit up and rubbed his hand gently over the area where he'd just whacked her.

"Take it easy hon, just breathe." He said in a soft, gentle tone.

He could feel how hot she was and guessed she had to have a fever of at least 103 or 104 and mentally kicked himself for not paying closer attention to the lack of appetite and the nagging cough in front of the movie theater. He laid her back on the bed and got up, finding his boxers and slipping them on before disappearing into the kitchen area of the apartment. He returned to the bed with a glass of water. She looked up at him with red, glassy eyes, still coughing.

"I feel terrible Jack." She said.

"I can see that. You're burning up. Did you skip your flu shot this year Kate?" He asked.

"Flu shot? I never get a flu shot and I never get the flu." She told him.

"Well, there's a first time for everything." He said and pulled the blankets up over her.

"My head hurts so badly and so does my back and this coughing is awful." She groaned.

"There's an all night pharmacy on the corner. I'll throw some clothes on and go get some stuff that won't cure you or anything, but it should help you rest." He said and stood up.

"You don't have to do that, I'm sure I'll be fine by morning." She told him.

"Kate, you're not going to be fine for at least a week, trust me. Your fever is up there, you need to take something to bring it down and I don't have anything here. I'll be back in 15 minutes, 20 tops." He told her and surprisingly she didn't argue with him, another indication of just how bad she really felt.

He was gone less than 20 minutes, but she'd gotten steadily worse since he left, chills setting in along with sinus congestion. She was wrapped tightly in the blankets in the center of the bed shivering uncontrollably and the sight of her that sick and miserable tugged at his heart.

He stepped into his closet and returned with a sweatshirt. He found her panties in the pile of strewn clothes on the floor and helped her put them on before slipping the oversized sweatshirt over her head and then kissing her on the forehead as a means of comfort and as a means of determining how high her fever was. It was very high and that concerned him a little, but not enough to consider that anything more than the flu was going on with her. He gave her some liquid flu medicine that she nearly spit right back at him, but managed to gag it down.

"God Jack that's awful." She complained.

"I know, but it will bring your fever down and help you rest." He replied in an apologetic tone.

He put an extra pillow under her head, laid her back, covered her with the blankets and added another as she continued to shiver. He sat beside her, watching her until she finally stopped shivering and coughing and drifted off to sleep, waking up about four hours later soaking wet and shivering again, the fever having broke and rebuilding steam as the medicine he gave her was starting to wear off.

He didn't go to work that day, opting to stay with her while she was so out of it, too weak and sick to move, getting back and forth to the bathroom more than she could manage on her own. She seemed to be improving some by the second day, still too sick to get out of bed, but a little better than the day before, except for the cough which seemed to be getting worse. He went to the hospital for about five hours that day and then returned home with chicken soup from a nearby deli and stolen hospital scrubs in just her size, the latter making her smile for a moment.

He brought his lap top home and they sat on the bed together and watched a movie on the small screen. Jack decided this was a pathetic way for a man of his means to watch television, found the website for the nearest electronic store and ordered what he wanted, scheduled for delivery and installation the next day. She was going to be sick and trapped in his apartment for days and needed at least the noise of a television to keep her company when he couldn't be with her.

Kate spent the next five days in Jack's bed battling the flu. She would improve for a day and then slip back the next, which was typical of some flu strains. However, her fever was climbing again and she was growing significantly weaker over the past 24 hours so when he came home from work that day he brought the necessary equipment to properly examine and diagnose, threatening her with a trip to the ER if she didn't cooperate.

Her fever was up to 105.1 and that startled him. He had her sit up and placed the stethoscope on her back, her fussing at him the entire time.

"Kate, hush so I can hear." He ordered, moving the instrument over her back and listening intently.

He pulled it away and had her lay back down. She could see the concern on his face immediately.

"What?" She asked.

"There's a lot of rattling Kate. You've got pneumonia. We should get some x-rays and see just how serious it is." He told her.

"Jack, I don't feel like going out, can't you just write me a prescription or something?" She groaned.

"I could, but if it's bad you should probably be in the hospital, not in some cold, empty, depressing apartment that doesn't even have a proper bed." He sighed.

"A hospital bed would be depressing Jack. You've taken such good care of me and I love your bed. Please don't make me get out of it." She pleaded.

"Okay, but Kate if you don't start perking up in the next few days I'm taking you in kicking and screaming if I have to." He gave in.

He made a phone call to a colleague, who called the necessary prescriptions in for him and left a few minutes later to pick them up, promising not to be gone long. When he returned she was wrapped up shivering again, her fever peaking, her cough so bad she nearly cried as she fought not to cough, every muscle in her stomach sore from the coughing. Her breathing was short and raspy, the pneumonia not only weakening her, but making breathing a chore. He managed to get the anti-biotic in her, along with a fever reducer and some cough medicine. He helped her use the inhaler he had his friend prescribe and then helped her lay back down.

"I want you to keep this inhaler close Kate and if you feel like it's too hard to breathe use it. You're very sick. If you were my patient instead of my girlfriend I would've already admitted you to the hospital. Tomorrow you can start this steroid pack and that will help you feel a little less awful." He told her.

She could hear the concern in his voice, his struggle between being a doctor and the man who apparently cared very much about her starting to show more and more every day. She wanted to comfort him and tell him she was okay, but she wasn't. She was too weak to move and talking required more lung capacity than she had at the moment so she closed her eyes and she slept and so did he, sitting beside her on the bed, back against the wall and head dropped down, his chin resting on his upper chest.

He was startled awake by another coughing fit, this one so much worse than the one that had woken him over a week ago. It was strangling her and tugging on sore muscles and making her cry and panic. The fever had broken and had left her body soaked from head to toe with sweat. She was shaking and crying and scared she couldn't catch her breath. He put his arm around her, helping her with the inhaler again and talking softly to her until she finally relaxed into his arms, her body heating up again, as sick and miserable as she'd ever been in her life.

"Jack I want to take a bath so bad, wash all this sweat off of me. I feel so awful." She said softly.

"We can do that." He said.

She could hear him moving around, could hear the bath water running, and could feel him slowly stripping her of her clothes and then carrying her to the bathroom and gently placing her into the warm water. She was trapped some place between being conscious and unconscious, she guessed perhaps delirious with sickness and fever, but she was aware enough to know what he was doing for her, how kind and caring the act was and how he'd been by her side the entire time she'd been sick and as he carried her from the bathroom back to the bed she realized what a gem she'd found in Jack Shephard and she looked up at him with glassy, feverish eyes.

"Jack." She whispered as he kneeled in front of her, supporting most of her weight and gently drying her with the towel, wishing he could make her feel better.

"Yeah." He said.

"I love you." She whispered and then closed her eyes, falling forward into his chest.

He held onto her and kissed the side of her head.

"You are delirious with fever right now so if you don't remember saying that, I won't remind you, but if you're still in there some place and can hear me, I love you too." He spoke softly into her ear and then laid her down on the bed, not bothering to dress her, deciding that she'd rest better naked.


	14. Chapter 14

He spent the next 36 hours by her side, keeping her warm when she was shivering uncontrollably and applying cool cloths when she was so hot she was sweating. He managed to get her alert enough to get the necessary medicines in her, the narcotic in the cough syrup combined with the exhaustion the pneumonia brought on kept her sleeping in-between doses of medication. She was very sick, teetering on the edge of needing to be hospitalized and monitored, but he knew a hospital couldn't do any more for her than he was doing at the moment, so he trudged on, hoping the anti-biotics and steroids would kick in and she'd finally turn the corner.

She was on her side resting and he used the opportunity to listen to her chest again, moving the stethoscope over her back and then her upper chest, the lack of normal breath sounds and the crackling not as bad as when he initially diagnosed her, but still indicating a fairly significant pneumonia. He pulled down the t-shirt he'd put on her about 12 hours after the bath he'd given her and pulled the blankets back up around her. He put the thermometer into her ear and let go of a bit of a sigh of relief when the number he got back was 100.6, a number she'd been holding steady at now for the past 5 hours.

Feeling like the crisis was finally over, he stripped down to his boxers and crawled into the bed beside her. He hadn't slept more than an hour here or there in two days and was dragging, dragging like he hadn't dragged since he was a first year intern. He had just medicated her again so he hoped to grab at least three or four hours of sleep before she began stirring again.

She remembered very little of the past 36 to 48 hours, but the things she did remember all included him and his nonstop care as she battled the worst illness she'd ever had in her life. She recalled how patient he was with her as she fought the medicine, not because she was being difficult, but because she was coughing and miserable and nauseous and couldn't stand to swallow anything more than water. She recalled how she'd gone into a coughing fit that strangled her so bad she ended up covering both of them in a combination of vomit, cough syrup and the phlegm that had been strangling her, bringing all of that up seeming to be the first steps on the path to recovery.

He didn't freak out, he cleaned her up and helped her into a t-shirt and scrub pants, put fresh sheets on the bed and sat by her side applying a cool cloth to her face until she fell asleep again. She lay on her back with her eyes closed thinking about the things she could remember as she debated over whether to open her eyes or just sleep some more. She finally opened her eyes and worked to regain her senses. She could feel his warm body next to hers and just listened to him for a few minutes. He was sleeping and very deeply judging by the sound of his breathing.

She turned onto her side and looked at him, taking him in for a moment and feeling overwhelmed with an emotion she thought she had experienced before, but apparently not, or at least not as intensely as she was experiencing it now. She was completely head over heels in love with this dear sweet man lying beside her, so much so just the sight of him next to her, finally resting, but still on guard, ready to spring into action if she needed him again, put a big lump in her throat.

She smiled and snuggled up next to him, letting her head rest on his chest. He either woke up enough to notice her or it was just an instinctive reflex, but as soon as she settled in he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, keeping her safe and she closed her eyes again, both of them sleeping, a sleep that would last another four hours before her cough would kick back in and wake them.

He quickly shook the cob webs from his brain and sat up. She was coughing, but she looked so much better, her eyes no longer bleeding red with sickness and fever and her skin was less clammy and pale looking. He pushed the wild hair on one side behind her ear, his hand brushing her cheek and immediately noticing that for the first time in over a week she wasn't running a fever and he smiled at her.

"Welcome back Kate." He said.

"How long have I been asleep Jack?" She asked.

"You've been in and out for a couple of days. Stay here, I'll get your cough medicine." He said and moved off the bed.

"No Jack, it knocks me out." She argued.

"That's kind of the point Kate. The more you sleep the quicker you're going to recover." He told her.

"I want to stay up for awhile, maybe take a bath and I'm a little hungry." She said.

He moved back to the bed and sat beside her. He kissed her in the center of her forehead and smiled at her.

"You had me pretty worried there for awhile Kate. I really need you to do what I ask and get well, but since an appetite is a good thing, you get to win this small battle of wills, but only long enough to eat and then it's back to sleep. Okay." He said.

"A bath Jack, I want a bath too." She haggled with him.

"Okay, a bath too, but not too long. I'll wash your back for you if you want." He offered with a warm smile.

He ran a bath for her, helped her from the bed to the bathroom and then left her alone at her insistence that she could do it by herself, her strong will returning and making him smile. She had turned the corner and was going to be fine, and he had seriously wondered if she was going to fine, considering calling an ambulance at least twice when her breathing became so labored he thought she might need some oxygen, but he had managed to settle her down with the inhaler both times.

He straightened the bed coverings while she was enjoying her bath and found her a clean pair of scrub pants and a sweat shirt and put them in the bathroom for her, nagging at her to get out of the tub and get dressed before she over did it. She argued almost to the point of whining so he reached into the tub and lifted her out, wrapping a towel around her an sitting her down on the side of the tub, kneeling in front of her.

"Kate, I now you're excited to finally be feeling better, but I don't want you to come crashing back down or perhaps even relapse so you'll do what I ask you to do or I will take you to the hospital where they will admit you and make sure you stay quiet. Is that what you want?" He scolded her without raising his voice, but making the threat stern enough to let her know he was serious.

"No, and you're right. I'm pretty out of breath, could you get that inhaler for me?" She asked.

He picked her up and carried her to the bed. He handed her the inhaler and kept a calming hand on her back while she took two puffs from it. He sat beside her, eventually letting her head rest on his shoulder, while she did her best to find the energy to get dressed.

"I don't understand, I felt so good, now I feel like I couldn't walk myself to the bathroom." She said softly.

"It's the steroids Kate, they make you feel perky and give you a false sense of energy, energy you really don't have." He told her.

"I'm tired of being sick Jack, I just want to feel better." She told him and began crying, which led to her getting so upset she began coughing, which led to another couple of puffs on the inhaler.

He got her calmed down and dressed and fixed the bed so she could sit up and watch television for awhile, deciding she needed a bit of normalcy before he pushed the sleep issue again. He sat down beside her, leaned in and kissed her softly on the mouth.

"I know you're frustrated, but I promise you are through the worst of it and by this time next week you'll be so much better this will seem like a bad dream. Now, about that appetite, what can I go and get you?" He asked sweetly.

"I'd really love some soup, maybe broccoli and cheddar or potato. Is that too hard?" She asked.

"No, the deli down the street has all kinds of soup. You stay right here in this bed and I'll be back in 15 minutes." He said and kissed the tip of her nose.

Kate sat on the bed with the remote flipping through the channels. She heard a knock on the door and assumed Jack had forgotten something, namely his key. She eased herself out of bed and slowly made her way to the door, ready to tease him for making her get out of bed to let him in. She opened the door and once again there stood Sarah.

Sarah looked at the brunette standing in front of her wearing hospital scrubs and Jack's Columbia sweatshirt and for the first time since Jack had left her the reality of it sank in. Her husband wasn't having a fling, he was in a full blown relationship and apparently a pretty serious one. Sarah moved forward, forcing Kate to stumble backward slightly and she closed the door, but it didn't latch and popped back open, leaving it ajar about an inch.

Jack came off the elevator and immediately noticed that the door to his apartment was open. He could hear the sound of a panicked woman's voice, a voice he knew very well and found himself nearly running for the door. Once inside he found Sarah hunched over Kate who was on her hands and knees on the floor, holding her chest, unable to catch her breath, her face turning blue. He dropped the sack he was carrying and immediately went to her.

"There's an inhaler on the table beside the bed, get it for me." He told Sarah.

Sarah sat motionless, dumbfounded and not fully processing what he'd just asked her to do.

"Sarah! The inhaler! Get if for me now!" He yelled snapping her out of it.

She hurried to the bed, found the inhaler and brought it to him. He managed to get her mouth open and got her to relax enough to take a puff and then another, holding her close and rocking her slowly while she calmed down, coaxing her to take slow breaths and relax. Sarah stood and watched him, watching the concern and the care and perhaps even love he was pouring into his efforts to help this woman, this fling, this affair she was certain she could just wait out and he would eventually come home to her.

He finally picked Kate up and carried her to the bed, setting her down gently and leaning her against the pillows, his hands gently caressing the sides of her face, happy to see the color returning to normal, wiping away the tears that were starting with his thumbs.

"Shh...you're okay babe. I know that was really scary, but everything is going to be okay now. Just sit here and relax for a few more minutes and I'll bring you that soup you wanted. Okay?" He spoke to her in his kindest, most caring tone, not caring that is wife was watching and listening.

She nodded at him and he kissed her softly. He moved off the bed, the kind, caring man quickly replaced by an angry man who would've hit the person standing in the middle of his empty apartment if she weren't a woman and his wife.

"What the hell did you do?" He accused.

"Nothing Jack, we were arguing and she got upset and then she couldn't breathe and that's when you walked in. Does she always over-react like that?" Sarah asked her tone hateful, jealousy oozing from her pores.

"She's sick Sarah." He defended her.

"Of course she is and you're right there to make it all better aren't you?" She spat back hatefully.

"Shut up!" He finally snapped.

Sarah took a step back, a little shocked by the coldness in his eyes.

"What are you doing here? Why do you keep coming here? What the hell do you want from me?!" He yelled completely flustered with her.

"I don't want a divorce Jack. Please, I'm sorry. I just want you to come home." She pleaded with him.

He looked at her and while he should've been so angry he could've spit at her and not given it a second thought he wasn't because for the first time since he'd left, he saw it in her eyes. She did still love him in some manner and was regretting having pushed him away. He should've felt guilty and a small part of him did because he really was hurting her, but he had tried, tried harder than most men would've and she refused to try with him.

"Sarah I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but it's too late. I can't come home because this is home for me now and while I'll always care about you, I don't love you anymore." He told her, his voice soft and calm now, but with no regret.

"You're in love with her aren't you?" Sarah asked as a few tears escaped down her cheeks.

"We aren't going to talk about Kate. My personal life is no longer your business or concern. I will take care of you though, I promised to do that and I will keep that promise for as long as you need me to." He told her, her tears getting to him.

"Go to hell Jack!" Sarah snapped the sudden change startling him a bit. He reached out and gently held her upper arms.

"Sarah, let's not do this, not here." Jack said and then backed off when she violently jerked away from him.

"You're going to pay for this Jack Shephard. You want a divorce. Fine! Be prepared to give up at least half of everything you own and then some!" She screamed at him.

"Great. Look Sarah, if you want to turn this into a war I can't stop you, but save your threats for someone who might actually be intimidated by them." He told her, his eyes cold again and his voice back to angry.

"My family has money Jack, we'll crush you." She threatened.

"Yeah, well my family has more so you do whatever you feel you need to do and I'll see you in court." Jack said taking hold of her elbow and escorting her to the door.

He never gave her a chance to respond, escorting her out the door and closing it quickly and locking it. He prepared a bowl of soup and an ice cold glass of lemon-lime soda and walked them over to the bed. He handed Kate the soup and sat beside her.

"She's pretty pissed huh?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, but let's not talk about it right now." He sighed.

"Taking more than half of what you've got, that's kind of huge." Kate reminded him.

"Not really. I'm not going back to her Kate and her threats aren't going to change that, I promise." He told her.

They didn't talk about it anymore. She ate her soup and enjoyed the ice cold soda and per her doctor's orders was asleep again an hour later. He spent one more day at home with her and returned to work after that, so far behind his days were 12 to 14 hours long, leaving her sleeping in the morning and coming home to her sleeping at night, sneaking in quick examinations without waking her. Five days after he'd gone back to work she was restless and ready to go back to her own house.

"Kate, I'll take you home in the morning, I promise." He told her as he slowly and tiredly stripped out of his clothes.

"I've missed you." She said.

"I know, I'm sorry. I got way behind, but I'm caught back up now and I promise we'll spend some time together this weekend." He told her.

"No, I mean of course I've missed having you around hovering over me like a mother hen, but I mean I've missed you, us, making love to you." She told him.

He sat on the side of the bed, shirt off and pants unfastened. He leaned in and kissed her gently.

"I've missed you too." He said and started to stand and finish undressing, stopped by her grabbing his forearm.

"Then let's do it, we haven't made love in over two weeks Jack." She said.

"That's probably not a good idea Kate. You getting hot and sweaty and out of breath is probably the last thing I'd suggest if you were my patient instead of my girlfriend." He chuckled.

"So we'll have to go slow, you like to go slow and since it has been a couple of weeks, slow will probably keep you from getting off before you get in." She teased making him laugh.

He leaned in and kissed her again, longer this time, pulling back when the passion began to over power his common sense.

"I've missed my sweet, naughty, sexy lover more than you'll ever know. We can make love Kate, but you have to lay back and relax and let me do all the work because I want you well again, well enough for me to fuck you senseless without sending you into a coughing and loss of breath fit." He told her and winked.

"Mmmm...the anticipation of that is enough to make me behave." She told him, rubbing her hands over his chest and down into the opening of his pants.

He didn't resist or push her away, he wanted her as bad as she wanted him. He finished removing his pants and crawled toward her, quickly stripping her of the t-shirt and panties she was wearing and moaning at the sight of her, her breasts taught and awaiting his touch, her nipples hard and ready to be sucked on, her pussy already wet and eager to accept him.

He closed his mouth over one nipple, swirling his tongue around and sucking it gently while his hand caressed the other breast, pinching the nipple between his fingers and then alternating while she rubbed her hand softly over the front of his boxers, his erection hard and impressive and ready to love her.

"Jack please, I just want you inside me, all of you, fucking me the way you do, making me feel so good." She pleaded with him.

He pushed his boxers away from his body, put himself into position and filled her slowly, her moans telling him that it felt good and she wanted more so he pushed in all the way, holding his position and allowing her walls to stretch and adjust before he started moving.

"God I've missed this." He whispered in her ear and began moving in and out of her.

"Oh Jack, you feel so good. You're so hard and I'm so wet for you. I'm going to come, ah, ah..." She panted as her walls clenched around him.

He stopped and kissed her hungrily, the orgasm flooding her hole with more wetness, so much wetness he thought he might go crazy trying to contain his hunger and his need to fuck her hard.

"It's okay Jack, just push my legs back and go for it, I promise to behave." She told him.

He looked into her eyes, her sweet face slightly flushed from the sex, her eyes welcoming him and anything he wanted from her. He loved her so much, the illness bringing that to light and making him understand just how much he loved her, a love that went so much deeper than anything he'd ever felt for any woman including the one he was currently married to. He covered her mouth with his and calmed himself down opting to make slow, sweet, soft, warm and passionate love to her this time, the moment as intimate as any they'd shared.

He made her come again and pulled out of the kiss, moving in and out and hitting her just right, making the orgasm last and last, his eyes watching her eyes as he moved and then stopped allowing himself to release, filling her with his seed and wanting to tell her he loved her, but stopping short, the moment too good and too special to chance ruining it by telling her something she wasn't ready to hear. They never discussed her love confession while she was delirious with fever. If she had brought it up he would've, but since she didn't he decided to let it go, hoping he might hear it again while she was alert and focused and wanting him to know how she felt, not sick, tired and feeling obligated to say it.

They slept for a few hours and then he loved her again, spooning her from behind and gently moving in and out, his dick as hard as it had been a few hours ago, his need and desire for her never waning and judging by how wet and warm she was for him every single time the feeling was mutual.

She went home the next day and they resumed a somewhat normal schedule. He worked and she went back to work and he typically ended up at her house for the night and this night would be no different or so he thought.

It was Christmas Eve and she had invited him over for dinner and her favorite Christmas movies. He wasn't sure if he had a favorite Christmas movie or if he was even familiar with the concept, but he'd watch anything as long as he had her wrapped up in his arms while watching.

He arrived at her house at 6 PM as requested and she answered the door dressed in a Santa hat and nothing else. She immediately began removing his clothes and before he knew what happened he had her on the floor, head between her legs, his mouth slowly licking her crease, their bodies glowing in the firelight and the twinkling of the white lights on the Christmas tree.

"I love it when you make me come with your mouth Jack." She moaned still wearing the Santa hat.

He moved up her stomach, kissing all the way up to her mouth, hovering just above her face.

"I love to make you come with my mouth, fuck you with my tongue and then fuck you with my fingers while I suck your clit. Is that what you want Kate?" He asked.

"I just want you to fuck me Jack, all night long. That's all I want for Christmas, your hard dick in me all night. It feels so good when it's in me. Put it in me Jack, please." She begged and then moaned excitedly when she felt him slip inside of her.

She pulled the Santa hat off her head and put it on his, smiling and pulling him in for a kiss, her tongue licking his lips while her fingernails dug into his back just below his shoulders, becoming so painful he winced and pulled out of the kiss.

"I've been very naughty so you should probably fuck me good and hard Santa." She told him, feeling his cock twitch inside of her.

"You are a naughty girl that's for sure. Please don't ever change." He told her.

He pushed her legs back and began driving himself into her with everything he had, fucking her so hard and fast he had rug burns on his knees. He came just a few minutes after he had started, shooting his cum deep inside of her while filling the air with a string of profanity that would surely keep them both on Santa's naughty list for life. When he finished he stayed inside of her, his cock still hard and his body still wanting her. They sat up face to face, her in his lap and straddling him, his hands on her breasts and his tongue dancing with hers as she slowly rode both of them into another explosive orgasm and they stayed that way, connected at the center, his back leaning against a chair and her laid over his chest.

"Do you want me to get up so you can eat?" She asked.

"No, you said you wanted my cock inside you all night so I'm giving you what you asked for. Should I take the present I brought for you back though?" He teased.

"You don't have to buy me presents Jack, just having you here with me and having you inside me like this is all I could ever want or need, but I think I might need to disconnect for awhile." She told him and lifted herself, letting him slip out of her.

She found his shirt and put it on and he slipped his boxers on. They sat against the chair beside the tree kissing and holding one another. He finally pulled away enough to reach for his jacket and pull a small box out of the pocket. He handed it to her and saw the fear flash through her eyes briefly and he chuckled.

"Don't worry Kate, I promise to get divorced before I give you a ring." He told her and kissed her.

She rolled her eyes at him in an attempt to make him think that the thought had never crossed her mind and opened his present. It was diamond earrings, very nice and very beautiful diamond earrings.

"They're beautiful Jack, but it's too much and I didn't get you anything near this great." She told him.

"I just made love to the most beautiful woman in the world in front of a fire in the glow of a Christmas tree. That's the best present I've ever gotten." He told her.

"Well, that's the gift that will keep giving as I plan to fuck you all around this Christmas tree tonight, but I did get you something else." She told him and handed him a box, the type of box that typically held a tie.

"You got me a tie?" He asked biting back the laugh that was dying to escape.

"Just open it smart ass." She told him.

He opened it and began laughing. Inside was a tie unlike any tie he'd seen before. It had a woman's breasts and stomach and her pussy filled the widest part of the tie.

"It's me. I did it with my computer. Do you like it?" She asked.

"I love it and I promise to wear it and nothing else the next time we make love." He told her and kissed her.

"Then put it on because I plan on feeding you right before I get you to slide up my chimney again." She teased.

He pulled the tie out of the box and saw a key lying underneath. He held the key up in front of her.

"What's this?" He asked.

"It's a key to the front door. I want you to move in here with me, get rid of that empty apartment you refuse to furnish." She told him.

"Kate, I'm flattered and touched, but you don't have to..." He argued, getting cut off by her kissing him.

"I'm only doing this because I want that nice flat screen television you just bought hanging on my living room wall." She teased.

"I'll buy you a television if you want Kate, I don't have to be part of the package." He teased back.

"Yes you do." She insisted, no longer teasing.

"Why's that?" He asked.

"Because I love you Jack." She told him watching his face and eyes closely for any sign that he was about to bolt.

He leaned in and kissed her for a long time, a deep, wet passionate kiss that led to him laying her back and pushing himself inside her as deep as he could get, holding onto her underneath her bottom while he shoved a couple of throw pillows underneath, slipping his hands away and planting them on the floor on either side of her, looking into her eyes nonstop and driving in as deep as could before pulling back again, long steady thrusts that had her gripping his biceps and looking into his eyes with so much love he felt a lump form in his throat.

"Say it again baby." He whispered, his tone so sexy her pussy flooded with fresh wetness.

"I love you Jack, I'm sorry, I can't help it I do." She told him.

"Well it's a good thing because I love you too Kate." He said sweetly and then went to work to finish what he'd started, the fresh pool of wetness making his need to release reach the critical stage.

They ate dinner, drank wine, watched Christmas movies and made love until well past midnight. They lay in each others arms in front of the fireplace, throw pillows under their heads, the fire keeping their nude sleeping bodies warm, both in a bit of a sex and wine induced coma, him wearing his new tie and her wearing her new earrings and on the small table above their heads lay a set of car keys, a set of keys with a shiney new key attached to them.


	15. Chapter 15

She awoke to her head resting on a pillow and a blanket covering her body. He was gone, but the aroma of something wonderful cooking told her he hadn't gone far. She opened her eyes and looked at the Christmas tree, smiling as she remembered their evening and the many ways he had made love to her, dropping the barriers and admitting their love for one another seeming to intensify what was already a pretty intense sexual relationship.

She rolled onto her back, taking a deep breath in an attempt to settle the excitement just thinking about him could stir, her crotch wet again and starting to ache for him. She giggled at herself, at how she could be awake less than 5 minutes and horny again and wondered if he was cooking in the nude. She stood, wrapped the blanket around her and walked into the kitchen. He wasn't nude, but close enough, standing in front of the counter preparing a pan for the oven wearing nothing but his boxers and an apron.

She walked up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist from behind, landing soft kisses on his back and snuggling in as close as she could get.

"Merry Christmas Kate." He said as he reached down and loosened her grip on him enough to be able to turn to face her.

He pulled her into him and kissed her, the apron he was wearing too silly for her to keep from laughing.

"Jack, the apron really is too much." She giggled.

"I know, but I was cooking sausage and didn't want the grease popping onto my bare chest." He told her.

"I would've licked it off." She teased.

"That certainly would've made the burns worthwhile." He said with a smile and kissed her again.

"That smells so good, what is it?" She asked.

"It's a breakfast casserole thing." He said.

"I never would've taken you for a cook." She said, slowly nibbling on his collar bone and then his neck.

"Yeah, well I don't think I'm cookin nearly as much as you are right now. Somebody woke up horny." He chuckled and peeled her away long enough to put the pan in the oven.

"How long before it's done?" She asked.

"Thirty minutes. That should be long enough to satisfy your current needs don't you think." He answered with a mischievous grin and a wink.

"I don't know Jack, I'm feeling pretty needy. I might need to spend 30 minutes just sucking on your cock." She told him and slid down his body, slipping her head under the apron.

Jack felt her pull his boxers to his knees and grab hold of his cock and he grabbed onto the counter top. She wasn't kidding, she was seriously going to give him head right here, right now, apron and all and it was the spontaneous crazy sexy things like this that made him crazy about her, well it was at least one of the reasons. He felt her mouth swallowing him, felt his cock hardening, felt the need begin to stir and burn in the pit of his stomach and just like that she had him so worked up that all he wanted to do was bend her over something and fuck her senseless.

"Kate, I'm going to come, stop, let's go to bed." He panted.

She gave him a few more long, warm, wet licks with her tongue, kissed his tip and then slipped out from under the apron, slowly slithering up his body, no longer covered by the blanket, her naked body hot to the touch and draped all over him, slowly reaching behind him and untying the apron. She moved back and pulled the apron off of him, his body now as naked as hers, his cock hard and throbbing and begging for entrance.

"Right here baby, fuck me right here, right now." She demanded as she pressed her body to his and lifted her leg up over his hip.

He secured her leg in a comfortable position and pushed himself into her, both of them moaning and panting as they worked to find a place, a position, anything that would allow them to find a rhythm. With one hand cupping her breast and the other holding her bottom while his mouth swallowed hers in a wet, sloppy passionate kiss, he managed to find the counter and use it to balance them as he began driving himself in and out of her, no rhythm, no sweet caresses, just intense out of control kitchen fucking as they would later describe it.

He sat in one of the kitchen chairs, her straddling him and riding him, her breasts smashed into his chest as her hot, wet, dripping pussy swallowed him up and ground into his pelvic region. She'd already come twice in other areas of the kitchen and had pushed him into the chair, slowing them down, moaning and groaning into his ear before kissing him deeply and grinding into him.

"It's so good Jack, so hard and I'm so full, promise me we can spend Christmas making love." She whispered into his ear.

"I promise." He whispered back.

"Promise me you won't go to work, that you won't go anywhere, and that you won't even get dressed. I want you all day Jack, as much as you can stand." She pleaded, starting to get emotional and not really understanding why.

"Shh... I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Come on Kate, let's finish. Come for me baby." He whispered while his hands moved in a comforting manner over her heated flesh.

"Is it okay to keep saying it Jack? Are you really okay with it?" She asked as a tear slipped down her cheek.

He kissed the tear away and thrust himself into her as deep as he could from his position in the chair.

"Say it Kate, say it as much as you want, I'm not going anywhere because I love you too and I want to be here." He told her, grinding up into her again, needing to come.

"I love you so much Jack. Come inside me now, come with me." She said as another orgasm rocked her body.

They sat together in the chair, their bodies quivering and shaking as they came, kissing and holding onto one another as if some outside force might tear them apart if they didn't. He held tightly to her, staying buried deep inside while his hands moved over her back, whispering in her ear.

"You're so sweet and you feel so good to me too. I've never wanted any woman the way I want you and not just physically Kate, I want to be with you, spend time with you, as much as I can." He told her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, letting her head rest on his shoulder and allowing him to just hold her until she was ready to let go, surprised by how emotional she had gotten, surprised by how badly she needed him in her life and scared, no terrified by the realization.

They finally separated and he wrapped the blanket back around her and sent her into the living room so he could serve her Christmas breakfast like he had planned. He entered the living room with two plates of food and two cups of coffee and they sat on the couch and began enjoying their breakfast.

"This is really good Jack, what's in it?" She asked.

"What isn't in it? Eggs, milk, cheese, sausage, peppers, salt..." He rambled on.

"So Jack, no family to spend the holidays with?" She asked.

"No, I mean yes I have a mother and a father, but they are off skiing or something. We really don't do holidays. What about you? No family around?" He asked.

"No, my parents are dead and I don't have any siblings. What about you? Are there other Shephard men and women out there or did your parents break the mold when they achieved perfection with you?" She asked making him chuckle.

"I'm anything but perfect and yes I'm an only child. My parents had this live-in cook/housekeeper/nanny and she used to make this casserole for me on Christmas morning and then she'd sit with me while I opened whatever gifts my parents had left for me and then she'd make me call them and thank them and then we'd spend the day together. We did that every year until I went away to college. She passed away my sophomore year of college, a car accident. Anyway, she taught me how to make this and this is pretty much the best and only thing I cook so hopefully you had no expectations for future meals, well ones worthy of eating anyway." He told her, his memories of this woman obviously dear to his heart.

"God Jack that's the sweetest and also most heart-breaking story I've ever heard. Your parents left you alone at Christmas? Every year?" She asked.

"I didn't know any better Kate so it's not like I was this sad and lonely boy every Christmas. I loved Louisa, it was fine." He said and smiled at her, but she didn't buy it.

"But Jack, they're your parents." Kate objected.

"They are indeed and I would really rather not talk about them anymore today." He said and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and kissing her.

"Mmm...so what did you have in mind?" She asked.

"Well, you're naked and chilled and realistically still recovering from pneumonia so how about a nice, long, hot bath?" He suggested.

"Only if you're planning on joining me." She agreed and without waiting for an answer led him up the stairs.

They sat in the hot, bath-oil filled water, his back to the tub and her sitting between his legs with her back resting on his chest and stomach, his hands moving slowly over her stomach and breasts under the water. He squeezed her gently and kissed the top of her head.

"We need to talk. I need to tell you something." He said.

"Is it bad?" She asked.

"It's not good, but it's not unexpected." He said.

"Your wife is pregnant isn't she?" Kate asked.

"Yes." Jack answered.

"How long have you known and why didn't you tell me until now?" She asked her tone angry.

"I found out while you were so sick and to be perfectly honest I just haven't felt like talking about it." He replied.

"So why now? Is this your escape clause Jack?" She accused, turning to face him, her green eyes full of fire and hurt at the same time, the sight of it tugging at his heart immediately.

He pulled her into him, her body draped over his and kissed her deeply before allowing her to slide back down, encouraging her to relax into him, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Kate, no. Baby, I understand you're scared, but I don't want to escape from you. I just don't want to screw this up with all of my baggage. I'm telling you now because we upped the ante last night. The stakes are high now and you took the next step without being completely informed so I'm giving you an out if you want it. If you don't want to be caught in the middle of my messy divorce and possible responsibilities for my child in the future I'll understand, but you only get until New Year's Eve to dump me, after that, if you've decided to stay then you're in for the long haul. Okay?" He explained.

She looked up at him, his face was serious and his eyes were soft and watery, trying to suck it up and let her go if that's what she wanted, but unable to hide just how much the idea of that hurt. She kissed him gently and smiled at him.

"Why New Year's Eve?" She asked

"I don't know, a new year, fresh starts, it sounded like a good deadline." He said.

She resumed her position, letting her head relax onto his shoulder again and sighed heavily.

"Possible responsibilities?" Kate asked.

"Sorry?" He replied not sure what she was asking.

"You said possible responsibilities for a child." Kate said.

"Yeah, um I thought about what you said, about why Sarah suddenly didn't want me anymore and I talked with my attorney and he thought it would be a good idea to see if maybe that were possible. He hired a surveillance company to follow her around and you were right, she's seeing someone else. So, I'll wait until it's born and make sure he or she has my DNA before I let myself get attached to it. But rest assured Kate, I'm never going back to my wife. I'm not going to string you along with promises of a future and then just one day go back to her. I promise." Jack said.

"Did you tell her you know she's screwing around?" Kate asked.

"No, I don't want this divorce to be any more painful than it has to be. I'm hoping she'll settle down and just take the offer my attorney makes and moves on." Jack said.

"Jack, she did not act like a woman who is going to just settle down the last time I saw her." Kate argued.

"Yeah I know, that's why I'm giving you the opportunity to get out now if you want to." He said.

"It's kind of strange that she might be pregnant with another man's baby and is involved with another man, but doesn't seem to want to let you go." Kate puzzled.

"No, now that I know she's definitely having an affair it all makes sense." Jack said.

"Care to enlighten me Jack?" She asked.

"Before we got married, my father insisted on a pre-nup. I hated the idea of it, but in hindsight I guess the old man was right. It was nothing fancy, just a standard form that says if we got divorced she's only entitled to the property and money we acquired together and that anything I had before we got married was untouchable. She didn't like the idea that I could leave her high and dry so there were some changes made that would ensure she'd never be left high and dry, but infidelity makes the whole thing null and void." He explained.

"Then why not use it against her Jack?" Kate asked.

"Because I don't want to leave her high and dry. I know that seems stupid to you, that I should just hate her and want to be mean to her and not care what happens to her, but I just don't have that in me Kate." He defended himself.

"I know you don't Jack, that's one of your more endearing qualities, but at some point you have to put her in her place. She's threatening to clean you out Jack." Kate argued.

"The baby complicates the pre-nup agreement Kate. The inheritances that he or she would be entitled to makes my baby very valuable to Sarah, but if it's not my baby, then she's pretty much screwed all the way around." Jack said.

"Gee Jack, are you like scary wealthy?" Kate teased.

"No, I'm not, but my family is and someday I'll have to stop denying what's mine and deal with it." He said.

"But Jack if you can prove right now that she's not carrying your child, she'll have no choice but to settle down and take what you offer." Kate said.

"There are tests that could extract what I need, but I can't force her to subject her body or the baby to anything like that. Besides, I'm not sure if I really want to know yet. It's a pride thing I guess and it might make me so bitter I won't care what happens to her." He sighed.

"Jack, why are you so worried about taking care of her, she said her family has money, can't they take care of her?" Kate asked.

"Her father has money, but he's never had money for Sarah so I'm not sure why she thinks he's going to come through this time. I don't understand what happened between us Kate. I swear we were happy or maybe I just thought we were. I was really stupid that night I went along with her let's get pregnant and save the marriage scheme. I know any child of mine comes with dollar signs attached to it, I guess I just don't like to believe people can be that calculating, especially not a person you promised to love and cherish till death. What if whatever I did to drive her away I do to you? You would tell me if you were unhappy wouldn't you?" He asked.

She sat up again and looked at him. There was nothing she could say to assure him that they would never develop problems because you can't know what lies ahead, but from what she knew of him so far she couldn't imagine not being able to work through any future problems they might have. She smiled at him and kissed him, sitting up and pulling him toward her. They sat in the water, face to face, her center seated over his, but not connected.

"If I'm ever unhappy, I promise you will be the first to know. Jack, I don't need time to think about this. I'm in love with you and I want to be with you regardless of how ugly things may get. I won't keep at you about why you're intent on being so generous to a woman who as far as I can tell doesn't deserve it, but I ask that you not keep me in the dark. I want to know what's going on and how much longer we have to deal with that bitch in our lives." She told him noticing that he seemed to flinch a bit when she so hatefully referred to Sarah as a bitch.

"I'm sorry Jack, but she is a bitch, a bitch who was too stupid to appreciate what she had, but can't stand that somebody else wants you and there is nothing more to this situation. You didn't do anything wrong and she doesn't love you and probably never did, not the way you deserve to be loved anyway. You told me she nagged at you to buy a house in that extremely affluent neighborhood so apparently she wanted a lifestyle and not just a life with a wonderful man who cares so much more than she deserves. I hate what she's doing to you so she is now and will always be a total bitch in my eyes so don't expect me to ever have a nice thing to say about her." She told him and kissed him deeply.

He pulled out of the kiss and looked into her eyes. They were still full of fire, the fire that her anger toward Sarah had brought out and it turned him on in ways he couldn't imagine he'd be turned on, not because Kate was jealous because she was anything but jealous, but because she cared enough to find Sarah's actions infuriating.

"You are so fucking hot when you're being all protective of me. Want to fool around?" He asked with a grin.

"What did you have in mind?" She asked reaching between them for his cock.

He didn't answer her with words, but instead stood and lifted her out of the tub and stood her in front of him, their bodies dripping onto the rug below them, their skin pink from the hot water they had been soaking in and his eyes hungry and lustfully moving up and down her body, licking his lips and then moving forward and immediately going down to his knees.

He nudged her thighs apart and she felt his mouth latch onto her, grabbing the towel rack beside her and spreading wider for him, moaning when she felt his tongue struggling for entrance into her hole, his thumbs quickly making the entrance wider and then pushing into her, fucking her with his tongue, making her weak in the knees and causing her to stumble backward toward the wall so she wouldn't fall down.

He pulled his tongue out of her and buried his face in her pussy, his mouth slowly spreading her folds and sucking on the tender exposed flesh. She looked across the room and the sight of them in the mirror made her center flood with wetness. Her body was pressed against the wall, her legs spread and his head buried between them and she began gyrating over his busy mouth, watching the scene in the mirror, feeling the tingling begin.

"Oh fuck Jack don't stop I'm almost there." She whimpered and then collapsed onto him as the orgasm ripped through her, her legs shaking and too weak to hold her up.

He kept his face buried in her crotch, gently licking and sucking while his arms held her body against the wall and kept her from falling and she continued to watch the scene unfold in the mirror and as she came down from the high she wanted more, wanted to see more and led him to the other side of the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror with him, face to face, her hand holding firmly to his hardened length, stroking him up and down and watching in the mirror.

"I want to watch you fuck me Jack." She told him.

He looked at the mirror and the wall directly opposite the mirror and moved her hand off of his dripping cock. He held himself in his hand and moved his tip to her opening, pulling her close to him and lifting her leg up over his hip.

"Watch Kate, watch me put it in." He panted.

"Do it slow Jack." She pleaded and then watched as he took his time pushing into her, pulling back out at one point and reentering in case she missed it the first time.

He pinned her against the wall, lifted her off the floor and began thrusting in and out of her, her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder, watching in the mirror as he thrust in and out of her, the movements of his tight ass matching the feeling of his hard cock gliding through her slick opening and she wanted him harder, deeper and faster.

"Take me to bed Jack and take me as hard as you can." She demanded.

He pulled her away from the wall and walked them out of the bathroom and over to the bed. He laid her on the bed, pulling out of her, his hard, throbbing cock wet with her juices as he stood beside the bed looking down at her.

"You're a bossy little thing you know that? Get on your hands and knees and grab the headboard." He told her, breathing hard and teetering on the edge, that edge she liked to try to push him over.

She did as he asked, crawling to the center of the bed and then gripping the headboard. He moved up behind her and hovered over her, his cock brushing against her as he moved his mouth slowly down her back and then over her ass, kissing her and gently nipping at her ass cheeks before finding her wet, hungry opening and plunging his tongue in, making her squeal and moan and plead for more. He pulled his tongue away and continued to kiss the fleshiest part of her body and then he slowly moved down, landing soft kisses in the crease where the back of her thighs and her butt connected.

"Ever had your pussy eaten from behind Kate?" He asked.

"No." She moaned, the feel of tongue in those sensitive creases driving her crazy.

She felt him move between her legs again, his mouth all over her slippery crease and then she felt him move back and push one then two fingers into her from behind, the position allowing his long fingers to go deeper than they ever had before and then he added a third and she was so wet, so horny, so turned on she was certain she could take his entire fist if that was what he wanted. He continued to fuck her slowly with his fingers, describing how wet she was and how deep he was as he continued on, refusing to touch her clit, but demanding she spread wider for him and when she did he began moving his fingers faster, pumping them in and out of her at a rapid pace. She let go of the headboard to reach between her legs and he stopped, leaving his fingers buried deep inside and gently curling and uncurling.

"Not yet Kate, put your head and your hands on pillows, let your shoulders drop, relax." He coaxed.

She did as he asked and felt him remove his fingers and replace them with his throbbing cock, pushing into her quickly and fully, grabbing the headboard to steady himself, his large body hovering over her small frame, his cock buried as deep as it ever had been and it all felt wonderful, but it also suddenly felt too dominating and he pulled out of her and encouraged her to turn over. He moved between her legs and she opened up for him, accepting him fully, the feeling of his hard cock penetrating her again while watching her with soft, loving eyes causing a warmth to rush over her entire body. She wrapped her arms around him they kissed while he slowly made love to her, the out of control need to fuck like rabbits replaced with the need to be close and when they climaxed while looking into each other's eyes, any fears she had about him leaving her to make a happy home with his pregnant wife were eased for the moment.

"I love you more than anything." He said softly, kissing her one more time and then moving off of her.

They stayed in the bed for awhile, cuddled together and sharing past Christmas memories and then he sat up suddenly, urgent about something.

"Fuck! I can't believe I forgot!" He said.

"Forgot what?" Kate asked.

"Kate, I know I promised I wouldn't go to the hospital today, but I have to. There is one patient that I have to see today, but I want you to come with me, it's more of a personal visit then a professional one." 

He told her.

She could see that whatever this was about was very important to him so she didn't bother with getting mad and pouty with him, but instead decided to get dressed and go with him, pleased that he was eager to include her and again not the least bit concerned about hiding her from his co-workers. They entered the hospital together, his right hand holding a bag of gifts and his left hand clamped tightly to hers. They stood together patiently waiting for the elevator.

"So Jack, who are we here to see?" Kate asked.

"His name is Jeffrey. He's six. He landed on my table a couple of weeks ago, the sole survivor of a head on collision that killed his parents and baby sister. I don't usually get personally involved with my patients Kate, but this kid is, well you'll see when you meet him." Jack told her.

Kate stood in the room and watched Jack interact with the little boy who was completely alone at Christmas, perhaps getting a glimpse of the what the lonely boy left alone with his nanny at Christmas might have looked like, she couldn't be sure, but he was full of life and he loved the hand held video system and games that his new friend had brought him for Christmas. She watched Jack play with and talk with his young patient, not like a doctor, but as a friend, a confidant and someone who seemed to understand the child's fears and loneliness and when they left, the child having fallen asleep while Jack read to him, she found herself torn emotionally over the prospect of his wife being pregnant with his child, not because she would be jealous of the time he would apparently give to a child of his own, but because she wouldn't be the one giving him what he so obviously would love to have.

They spent the next week moving him into her house and he managed to keep the special plans he had made for them on New Year's Eve a secret right up until the moment he removed the blind fold to reveal how they would spend the evening. They were on a boat, a yacht actually and as soon as they ate the dinner he ordered and had delivered and set up for them he took them out onto the water, found the perfect spot and they relaxed on the deck, which eventually led to them making love under a blanket on the deck. They lay snuggled together under the blanket and watched the fireworks light up the skies and the water around them as the rest of the world welcomed in the New Year. The moment was perfect and easily the most romantic gesture any man had ever made on her behalf so when they kissed at midnight and she broke down, sobbing like a fool, inconsolable and telling him it was over, the fact that he was extremely confused, concerned and more than a little hurt wasn't surprising.


	16. Chapter 16

He tried to console her, tried holding her and hugging her, anything he could to calm her down, but she continued to push him away. She was breaking his heart in more ways than one and he had no idea what had happened. As hurt as he was, he was more concerned about her, finally getting her to let him hold her, her body shaking against his as she soaked his chest with a fresh river of tears.

"Shh...Kate, baby it's okay, whatever it is, we can figure it out." He spoke softly to her, cradling her as tight as he could underneath the blanket.

"I can't do this Jack, I'm sorry. I thought I could, but I can't. When I think of not having you in my life I feel like I can't breathe and I know that's how this is going to end. You're going to go back to her Jack, because that's what you need to do. You need to reconcile with your wife and be allowed to live in the same home with your child and raise it and love it and read to it and make sure he never spends one single Christmas alone." She cried.

"No Kate that's not going to happen. Yes, if that is my baby I want to be a part of its life, but that doesn't mean I want to reconcile with Sarah." He pleaded his case.

"You say that Jack, but your actions say otherwise. She's fucking another man Jack and has been for God knows how long and you won't even confront her. You just keep letting her walk all over you and jerk your chain and use that unborn child to keep you on the fence because she knows Jack, she knows that once it is born you won't be able to go through with it. But it's the right thing to do Jack, she knows it and you know it and I know it, a child deserves to grow up in a stable, loving home. I couldn't take it Jack, so it's best if we end this now and you said I had until tonight to make this decision so I've made it and it hurts so much, so much more than I would've imagined." She told him, coughing and crying and too upset for him to try to reason with, but he certainly wasn't going to go along with it either.

He held onto her, moving his hands over her, not saying anything, just allowing her time to calm herself down. The wind was chilly and was growing colder, so he pulled away and slipped his jeans on and then leaned down, keeping the blanket wrapped securely around her and helped her to her feet. They disappeared into the belly of the yacht that was anchored a couple of miles off shore. Once down below he led her to the long cushioned bench and sat her down, sitting beside her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her in until she relaxed and let her head rest on his shoulder.

"Kate, I don't understand where this is coming from. What happened? What makes you believe that my staying in a loveless marriage is the right thing to do or even something I would consider?" He asked.

"She told me Jack, Sarah, she told me that you were going with her to her OB appointment and that you told her you wanted to be there for all of them. She told me that I don't know you and that you aren't capable of going through with this divorce and leaving your child behind." Kate answered.

She felt his chest tighten, a sign that he was angry, but then she felt him wrap his arms around her tighter and felt his lips kiss her softly on the forehead and she knew that he wasn't angry with her.

"Kate, the only reason I'm demanding to be involved with the prenatal care is because I don't want to be lied to. There is only one night that baby could've been conceived if it's mine and if she is further along than she should be I want to be standing there when that news is delivered and spare both you and me the agony of having to wait until it's born to find out for sure. You know Kate, if she is carrying my baby, there's no reason to believe that I have any intention of leaving it behind. Mothers no longer automatically get custody, so Sarah is taking quite a bit for granted." Jack said.

"Jack, I watched you with that little boy and it would be wrong to deny your child what you have to give and if I weren't in the picture you would reconcile with her." Kate argued.

"No, if you weren't in the picture I'd be living in my office and working 24/7 because I'd have nothing else in my life. Before that night, that night you seduced me in the bar, I would get up as soon as Sarah left for work, shower, shave and go to work and come home long after she'd gone to bed. I did that as much as possible because on the days that I tried, the mornings that I tried waking up before her, making her breakfast or God forbid initiating sex she'd snap at me, tell me she was tired or not hungry or not in the mood to talk. She'd yell at me about how inconsiderate and selfish I was because all I ever wanted from her was sex even when I would do something as innocent as bring her a cup of coffee in bed. I typically got the same reaction if I came home in the evenings to spend time with her. If I tried to ask about her day she'd snap and tell me she didn't feel like talking about it. If I tried to get her to sit on the sofa and watch a movie with me she accused me of just wanting to try to get her in the mood. She couldn't stand for me to be around, but would bitch and complain when I wasn't. It was like walking on eggshells when I was around her, having no idea what it was she wanted or expected from me the last five or six months we were together. Do you honestly believe I want to go back to that?" He asked keeping his tone even and calm.

"I'm so confused Jack and she won't leave me alone. She keeps popping up, like she's following me or something so when I came out of my doctor's office and saw her there in the lobby I confronted her and she told me she was waiting for you so the two of you could go to her first OB appointment together. If it's not a big deal, then why didn't you tell me Jack?" She asked.

"Are you sick?" He asked completely ignoring the rest of her question.

"I've just been really tired so I had a check-up. They did some blood work. She said it was probably from the pneumonia, that it can take months to completely recover." Kate told him.

"The blood work came back okay?" He asked.

"I don't know, that was this afternoon, nothing gets done that fast. I guess they'll call if everything isn't okay. So why didn't you tell me Jack? Why did you plan to go with Sarah and not think I needed to know." She asked.

"Because it wasn't planned Kate. She called me like an hour before the appointment and told me. I'm sure she was hoping I'd be in surgery or just unable to get away on such short notice and then I was so preoccupied with what I had planned for you tonight that it honestly just slipped my mind. I promise you Kate, I wasn't keeping anything from you." He pleaded his case.

"This is harder than I thought it would be Jack. I'm a home wrecker, the other woman and I thought I could live with that, but she's always around and always blaming me and accusing me and she's prettier and she's the one with your ring on her finger. I know you think I'm being neurotic and whiney and unreasonable, but I hate it Jack. I hate sharing you with her. I hate knowing that she's running around telling people you are her husband and acting like she's some sweet, doting wife and she does that Jack, I got to witness it first hand, got to watch that bitch tell these women all about the successful surgeon she was married to and how sweet you were to make time in your busy schedule to be with her for her first appointment. I admit it, I was jealous and I don't like feeling like that." Kate explained, sounding more resigned than upset at this point.

She stood and turned to face him. He took hold of her hands and pulled her forward gently, encouraging her to sit in his lap. She straddled him, placing a folded leg on either side of his, holding the blanket around her and moving closer until their fronts were nearly touching. He reached up and pulled the trapped hair out from under the blanket and let it fall behind her, a few wild curls refusing to follow suit and clinging to the side of her face, making him smile and gently push them behind her ear.

"You're so beautiful Kate, so full of life and such a free spirit. I hate that I'm the reason the light that burns so brightly inside of you is as dim as I've ever seen it. You aren't a home wrecker, my home was already demolished and you aren't the other woman, she is. I don't think you're being neurotic, whiney or unreasonable, just the opposite. I've been impressed with how well you have handled this situation so this, what's happening right now, definitely came out of left field, but I've kind of been expecting it. How do I make you feel better and less afraid of history repeating itself?" He asked pushing her leg back a little so he could reach into the front pocket of his jeans.

"You can't." She said.

"I also expected you'd feel that way, which is why I had planned on doing what I promised I wouldn't. I was going to give you this at midnight, but...well I guess it doesn't matter what time I give it to you, just that I do." He said as he held a small velvet box up in front of her, the lid open and displaying the sparkling diamond ring inside.

She took the box from him, looked at him then looked at the ring again and then back at him, her expression a mixture of shock and confusion.

"What is this Jack and why should it make me feel better?" She asked.

"It's a proposal that I can't legally go through with yet, but it's also a promise that I have every intention of fulfilling. I love you Kate and only you. I want to be with you and only you. I want to buy you one of those obnoxiously large homes you're always showing and fill it with as many children as you can stand to give me." He told her, his eyes moist, his voice beginning to crack.

She started to speak and he stopped her, kissing her softly on the lips and then continuing on.

"I know what you're going to say, but I know what I want Kate and I hope that you'll find a way to believe in me and maybe someday want those things too." He told her.

She couldn't find any words, his face, his expression, his eyes, his heartfelt promise, it was all so sweet and romantic and she did believe in him. She suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and fresh tears began streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry Jack, you did all of this for me and I ruined it." She cried.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest and found himself laughing lightly. He couldn't help it. She was everything to him and she was currently all over the place emotionally. She was cute and at the moment, so far removed from the foul-mouthed sexy seductress he'd met and he loved her so much she made him giddy.

"Kate, you didn't ruin anything and this is my fault. I should've been more sensitive to the situation. I wouldn't like it if you had some guy lingering in the background and I'm going to do something about it, I promise. No more OB appointments, no more phone calls, no more Sarah. She can sign the divorce papers, take what I've offered or let a judge decide, but either way, she's not going to be in the picture anymore." He told her.

She sat up again, wiping the tears away, believing she should feel foolish, but instead feeling as comfortable and loved as she ever had in her life, her heart swelling as she gazed into his eyes and then leaned forward and kissed him.

"I do believe in you and I want all those things too, but I don't want you to do something you aren't comfortable with just to calm me down. I know the baby is important to you." She said.

"So does that mean you'll marry me as soon as I get divorced?" He asked with a shy smile, knowing it had to be the worst proposal ever.

"Of course I will, but Jack..." She answered.

"But what? Kate, the baby isn't important to me, god I wish, hope and pray every single day that it isn't mine, even wish it would just go away. There, I admitted it and I know, I'm a piece of shit for feeling that way." He sighed.

"No, Jack, you're not. It's a bad situation and a stressful one; it's only natural to have those thoughts floating around. But Jack, if you feel this way then why do you keep putting yourself through it?" Kate asked.

"Because I'm trying to be responsible and do the right thing by everybody, but I'm done. You are what matters to me, what's important, what should be getting all of my attention. Are we okay now?" He asked.

She wanted to argue the point with him, convince him that she didn't want him to turn his back on what he felt were his responsibilities, but then she considered that perhaps this was the out he wasn't necessarily looking for, but desperately needed, that washing his hands of the bitch that was attempting to suck the life out of him was in his best interest. She knew that if the baby was his he would fall in love with it and that he would take care of it and he wasn't leaving Sarah out in the cold, still taking care of all of her financial needs so was giving him this out really a selfish or bad thing. She decided that it wasn't and placed her hand on the side of his face. He took hold of it and slid it down to his mouth, kissing it softly.

"We're okay and I'm sorry I went crazy on you, I'm just really scared Jack." She admitted.

"I know you are so am I. This is kind of scary, loving someone so much you can't imagine a single tomorrow without that person. That's why I bought the ring." He admitted.

"I thought the ring was to make me feel better." She teased.

"It is, but it's supposed to make me feel better too. Will you wait for me Kate; wait for all these shackles to be removed. Is it fair for me to ask you to do that?" He asked.

"It's fair Jack and think of all the creative ways we can come up with to kill time while we're waiting." She said and let the blanket fall off her body and onto his legs.

He grabbed the blanket and pulled it back up over her back, securing it around her and kissing her softly.

"You'll get chilled." He told her.

"So take me to bed and keep me warm." She said in a seductive tone.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sleepy myself." He replied and bit back the impish grin that was forcing its way onto his face.

She slapped playfully at his arm and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply and then moving her mouth to his ear, nibbling lightly and snuggling in as close to him as she could get.

"I've never be fucked on a boat Jack." She whispered.

"So that sexy, beautiful woman panting 'fuck me Jack, fuck me Jack' on the deck of this boat a little while ago wasn't you?" He teased making her giggle.

"No, I mean I've never been on a boat with a bed down below. Come to think of it I've never been on a boat with a down below. Making love on a bed inside a boat sounds like a pretty romantic way to bring in a New Year." She said, rubbing her chest against his and her crotch over his, feeling his cock hardening beneath his jeans.

He stood with her wrapped around him and carried her over to the bed. He sat her on the end of the bed, closed the blanket around her and reached for a t-shirt, pulling it over his head. He approached the bed and stood between her knees, arms around her and hands on her lower back.

"I need to go up, make sure everything is secure, get your clothes and secure us in here for the night. Go ahead and get comfortable." He told her and kissed her.

"Is this your yacht Jack?" She asked.

"No, it belongs to a friend of my father. I don't live a secret wealthy life Kate." He chuckled.

"How come you want to buy a big house for me, but you didn't for her?" Kate asked.

"Because you don't want or expect me to buy you a big house." He said with a smile and kissed her once more before pulling away and disappearing up the stairs that led to the deck.

He returned about 15 minutes later and found her sound asleep in the bed, head resting on the pillows and the rest of her snuggled under the blankets. He smiled at how peaceful she looked and thanked anyone or anything who might be listening for getting them past that awful moment earlier. He stripped naked and moved into the bed beside her, kissing her gently on the cheek and then letting his own head sink into the other pillow, sleep coming quicker then he would've expected.

She was having a wonderful dream, his fingers buried deep inside her and his mouth covering one nipple then the next and she was on the edge, the building orgasm about to release and there it was, the tingling, the excitement the need to scream out his name as the sensation flowed through lower region and she opened her eyes, finding his looking back at her, smiling at her. He moved his hand slowly over her breasts and then down, caressing her wet center and then kissing her gently.

"That must've been a really great dream. Anyone I know?" He teased.

"Not really, just this really sweet man with incredibly skilled hands." She said smiling back at him, feeling his hardened length poking at her as one of his skilled fingers slipped inside of her.

"I want you so bad." He groaned as he encouraged her to turn over.

Needy, horny Jack, not just initiating sex, but coming close to demanding it was a rare occurrence and she found it to be quite the turn on. She rolled onto her stomach, moaning at the feel of the soft sheets against her bare breasts and stomach, raising her bottom into the air slightly only to have it pushed back down, the anticipation of his hard cock about to plunge into her making her squirm and become wetter.

She felt him move over her, nudging her legs apart and teasing her, sliding his tip up and down, but not entering her, hovering over her outstretched body, his mouth now on her back and kissing its way down, down, down, the heat rising off her body making them both sweat and then he was inside her, the position stretching her walls as the throbbing appendage battled for depth, keeping her pinned to the bed and taking her slow and deep and hard. He thrust into her and she grabbed two handfuls of the sheet, the feeling so tight and so full and so close to becoming painful that she nearly came when he backed out and plunged forward again, holding his position and grinding and rotating slowly and she tried again unsuccessfully to lift her hips up off the bed.

"Please Jack, I need you to fuck me, I need to come." She pleaded.

He pulled out and turned her over, dropping his head between her legs, unable to keep from smiling when his hot mouth covered her clit and she screamed _'holy fuck'_ just before she clamped onto the back of his head and held him there, her legs pulled back and opening wide for him as she came hard and he made no attempt to escape from her grasp.

When she finished and loosened her grip on him he swiped his face over the sheet to wipe her off of him and went up onto his knees, his throbbing, dripping cock standing in front of her. She started to sit up, to take the position necessary to put the mouth-watering appendage deep into her mouth, but he stopped her, shaking his head no and never breaking eye contact with her.

"Watch." He said in a deep, lustful tone.

She did as he said, watching his right hand take hold of his cock while his left hand made contact with the wall ahead for support and he began masturbating for her, rubbing her wetness over his cock with his fingers and then slowly sliding his hand up and down his shaft, giving her what she liked, what she wanted, the trust to do this for her and without having to be asked and it was hot, the hottest thing she'd ever seen. The beads of sweat building on his forehead as he came closer and closer to releasing, his eyes never leaving hers and his hand never slowing down or speeding up. She finally reached up and took hold of his wrist, stopping his movements.

"I want you inside me Jack, making love to me, coming inside me." She demanded as she guided his fist clenched cock down to her pussy.

He let go of his cock and sat back onto his folded legs, reaching out for her, pulling her into his lap and letting go of a long string of profanity when she slid onto him. He held her as close as he could without suffocating her, his mouth hungrily kissing hers as he drove himself in and out of her, working hard to keep from coming, feeling her release building and doing his best to wait on her.

"I'm going to come baby, are you almost there." He panted unable to take it anymore, laying her back onto the bed and thrusting in and out once more before letting go.

The pleasure he was experiencing was all over his face as well as in the _'so fucking good, so fucking good'_ he was chanting softly as his body jerked lightly against hers. She smiled as she watched him, knowing she could bring this out of him, making her feel like she guessed men must feel when they can make a woman go crazy. This sight, this man experiencing the ultimate orgasm while buried deep inside her, his mind currently in a place that she could take him to gave her a confidence, a steely resolve to not only stop fretting over Sarah Shephard, but to make sure this man was always loved like he deserved to be loved because she suspected he'd never known what that was like until now.

He slowly came down from the ultimate high she'd just taken him to and he looked at her, moving slowly within her again, determined to make her come once more and as she looked into his eyes and saw the love he had for her and felt the warm, tingling flooding through her groin a single tear slipped down her cheek as she realized that she too had never known what it was like to be loved the way she deserved to be loved until now.


	17. Chapter 17

He stood beside his car in the parking lot of the private school, watching and waiting, getting there early enough to say what he had to say to her and leave before the children began arriving. It had been two days since the episode with Kate on the boat and they had been fine since that night, but he wanted to make sure the dark cloud that loomed over their relationship was kept at bay until the divorce was final and the situation with the baby was resolved.

He watched her pull into her parking space and check her make-up in the mirror, finding the routine silly considering she was about to face 8-year-olds all day. He was about to make his move when he saw the car pull in beside hers, a truck actually, a brand new, tripped out four-wheel drive, and there he was, the man Sarah had been seeing, greeting her as she stepped out of her car, looking around and then stealing a kiss thinking no one was looking.

Who was this guy? Was he a teacher too? He watched them in the parking lot, tender, but secret touches and longing looks before stealing one more kiss and separating, him walking up the hill toward the high school and her straight ahead into the elementary school. He stayed beside his car for a moment processing what he'd just witnessed, her body language with the man reminding him of a time a long time ago when he could put a sparkle in her eye and a flutter in her heart and then realizing that he didn't care anymore because no matter how far he looked back he couldn't remember a time when she looked at him the way that Kate did and wondered if women just love differently or if Sarah just never felt the deep, meaningful kind of love the new and wonderful woman in his life had been spoiling him with.

He took a deep breath and began the walk to the building and then to the room where she'd taught second grade for as long as he'd known her. She was seated at her desk, looking through a drawer and he stopped in the doorway, clearing his throat so he wouldn't scare her. She looked toward the doorway and took him in, dressed in black slacks and a form fitting blue dress shirt, an expensive silk tie completing the look, the look that could take her breath away, so handsome and professional and all hers or at least he had been. She forced a nervous smile and waved him into the room.

"So to what do I owe this pleasure?" She asked as he approached the desk and positioned himself on the inside edge right beside her, his butt seated on the edge and his legs stretched out in front him.

"This is my latest and final offer Sarah. Everything that was in the pre-nup is in there. You can sign it or we can drag this out and let a judge decide. It's up to you." Jack said his tone calm, but serious.

"Jack, I don't want a divorce." She said.

"I don't care Sarah." He said.

"What about the baby?" She asked.

"What about it? Is it his, that guy I saw you kissing in the parking lot?" Jack asked his tone growing colder and getting all of her attention.

"I don't know what you think you saw Jack, but I can assure you..." She began lying and he cut her off by putting his hand up.

"Save it Sarah. I know you've been having an affair. So did you know you were pregnant before you asked me to make a baby with you or were you just worried that you might be at that point and were covering your tracks?" He asked.

"What are you talking about? Did she put you up to this? I could tell she was jealous, but I never thought she'd stoop to this." Sarah scoffed.

"Stop it. Stop lying and stop following Kate around." He demanded.

"Following her around?" Sarah replied with a sarcastic laugh.

"Sarah, what do you want from me?" Jack asked doing his best to remain calm.

"I want my husband and the father of my baby to come home and yes Jack you are the father." She told him.

"You're sure about that." He replied.

"Positive. Jack, why are you doing this? Why can't you just dump that little whore you're screwing and come home and we'll try again?" Sarah asked.

"Her name is Kate and I'm in love with her and even if I weren't why would I want to go back to a woman who can't stand me?" Jack replied.

"That's not true Jack, you know how I feel about you." Sarah argued.

"Do I? Am I supposed to base that knowledge on how you respond to me? You bitch at me because I'm not around, you bitch at me when I am around, you don't want to go out, you don't want to stay in and you won't have sex with me, but you have no problem screwing that guy in the parking lot. Call me crazy Sarah, but I'm not sensing a whole lot of love here." He shot back, becoming exasperated with her.

"I was confused, going through something I didn't really understand." She said.

He studied her for a moment trying to determine if she was serious or if it was just more of her games and then he realized she was doing it to him again, appealing to his kindness, to his inability to intentionally be mean, especially to someone he used to be in love with and he stood up and moved away from her.

"No, we aren't doing this. Sign the papers Sarah, it's a fair and generous offer. If you'd rather drag this out and make it painful then I can't stop you, but we're done Sarah and there's nothing you can do or say to change that." He told her, his tone calm and serious again.

"I'm getting an ultrasound tomorrow, will you be there?" She asked apparently choosing to ignore the divorce issue.

"No." He answered.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because it's unfair to Kate." He said.

"That's just perfect Jack. Go ahead and abandon me and your child when we need you the most, but it's not going to change the fact that you are going to be a father in a few months." She accused and stood, approaching him, daring him to back away.

"I'm not abandoning you or my child Sarah, but I'm not going to pretend like I want this baby or like I'm happy about any of this because I'm not. If you want to keep playing this game, keep this fantasy alive that I'm going to come back and we're going to be a happy little family I can't stop you, but I'm telling you Sarah it's not going to be that way. We're bringing a child into the world that's going to have a weekend father and at the rate you're going a very bitter and frustrated bitch for a mother." He seethed finally having had enough of her fucked up game.

She slapped his face hard and when she brought the other hand up to slap him again he stopped it, holding tightly to her wrist and then grabbing the other wrist when she started hitting him in the chest, calling him names he'd never heard her use before.

"Sarah that's enough, what in the hell is the matter with you." He scolded as he held her off.

She finally stopped hitting him and stopped screaming at him, standing in front of him quietly her eyes filling with tears that eventually spilled over and began streaming down her face, getting to him, eating at him, making him feel like shit. Unable to stand it any longer, he pulled her into her his chest and hugged her, not sure what else to do except what came instinctively, which was to try to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry Jack, I never meant to drive you away. I'll stop seeing Brian and go to marriage counseling if you'll please just come home. I don't want to do this alone." She cried.

"Sarah, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to hurt you, but it's over between us and none of this is going to change that. I'm in love with another woman and I'm going to move on and start a new life with her and if you love this Brian guy I suggest you try to do the same." He told her.

She pulled away from him, the anger gone and replaced with a look of extreme sadness and defeat and whether she was doing it intentionally or it was just how she felt it was killing him inside.

"So that's it? I failed as a wife and you won't give me a second chance to make it right?" She asked, favoring her right side and looking a little pale, like she wasn't feeling well.

He gently sat her down in her chair and kneeled in front of her.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I've got a bladder infection and it's a little uncomfortable." She told him.

He touched her face and then her forehead and she let go of a light laugh, more out of disgust than any kind of appreciation for his concern.

"You're pretty warm, maybe you should call your doctor." He advised.

"How do you do that Jack?" She asked.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Be in the middle of an emotionally charged conversation and just switch gears with the snap of finger. Stop being a doctor and just be my husband. Can you do that Jack?" She asked in a hateful tone.

"Sure, no problem. Let's see where were we? Oh, right, you failed and I'm an ass who doesn't believe in second chances. Sarah we both failed and we need to remember that and try to make this divorce as amicable as possible. We need to be civil to one another and not forget that we used to love each other especially with a child caught in the middle. Look, I'll always care about you, but I can't be married to you anymore so please, take the papers and look them over and if there is something more you truly need then just tell me." He said softly.

"I truly need you to be by my side through this pregnancy Jack. I truly need you to forgive me and come home." She told him.

"I'm sorry, but I just can't be involved in your life any longer and I won't pretend to be happy or concerned about this pregnancy." He said.

"That's pretty harsh Jack." She said softly.

"Yeah, it is, but that's how I feel. I feel like you used me, like you held our marriage, the marriage I was still interested in saving, out in front of me like a carrot. You know Sarah if you had responded to me that night, had wanted me and not just a semen deposit we probably wouldn't be having this conversation, but that was the breaking point for me. I probably wasn't the greatest or most attentive husband Sarah, but I never would've used you like that." He explained, the hurt that he felt over that night coming through even though he tried not to let it.

"You were concerned about us last week, what changed?" Sarah asked.

"My only concern was making sure it was my baby and you swear that is so I'll take your word for it without asking you to elaborate on your contraceptive methods with the guy you're sleeping with. Look Sarah, I don't want to have any more scenes like this. Kate and I are going to make a life together and she'll be part of that baby's life too so we need to get past all of this and find a way to get along." Jack said.

"Fine, I'll get my attorney to look over the papers and tell me exactly what's being offered and I'll get back with you." She said sadly, her sudden acceptance shocking him a bit.

"I've got to go. I've got a consult and patients to see." He told her and stood.

He turned to leave the room stopping one last time to look at her, to make sure she was okay and seeing that she clearly wasn't, but knowing there was nothing he could do to change that. He focused hard on the belief that he'd tried and failed to save his marriage and that he deserved the happiness that was waiting across town for him. He focused on Kate and found that she was exactly what he needed to find his resolve and keep walking and manage to do so with as little guilt as possible.

Kate had called him in-between the school and the hospital to see if he wanted to meet her at home for lunch, which of course meant a lengthy lunch spent in bed together that might actually include some food at some point. He decided he had time to get away and agreed to meet her, the phone call making him forget about the encounter he'd just had with Sarah and leaving him smiling and looking forward to lunch.

He entered the home he shared with Kate around 12:30, calling out to her as soon as he closed the door. She didn't answer, but he knew she was home because her car was in the driveway. He looked in the kitchen and living room and then padded up the stairs quickly starting to get a little concerned that he'd been calling out to her and she wasn't answering. He stopped just inside the bedroom door and looked at her for a moment. She was sitting in the middle of the bed eating ice cream out of the pint container it was packaged and sold in and staring intensely at nothing.

"Did you not hear me calling?" He asked and slowly approached the bed.

She didn't answer, instead dipped the spoon into the container and then slowly licked it clean still staring off into space and now that he was closer he could see her eyes were wet, and puffy, she'd been crying. He sat on the bed positioning himself so they were less than a foot apart. He took hold of her hand and kissed her on the cheek.

"What's going on Kate?" He asked.

"I was driving home to meet you and my cell phone was ringing and I thought about ignoring it, but decided it might be you so I looked and saw it was my doctor's office so I answered it." She told him, her voice soft and distant.

"You're pregnant." He said casually.

She looked at him finally, his calm and casual response snapping her out of the daze she'd found comfort in.

"You knew?" She asked.

"I suspected you might be when you told me about your visit to the doctor." He told her.

"I'm sorry Jack." She said, barely able to finish the sentence before she broke down again.

He took the ice cream out of her hands and set it on the table beside the bed before pulling her into his arms and hugging her, kissing the side of her head gently and talking softly to her.

"I'm not sorry about this Kate, but then it's not happening to me, physically I mean." He told her.

"How can you be so calm?" She asked.

"I don't know, it just feels okay, good. I should probably feel guilty about that I guess." He admitted.

"What are we doing here Jack? You're married and your wife is pregnant and you're upset about that, but the woman you're living with gets pregnant and it feels okay to you?" She asked incredulously.

"It's the most okay anything has ever felt in my entire life. I can't explain it and I don't want to pick it apart to try to understand it, I just want to accept that it feels good and take comfort in that. Everything else will fall into place eventually." He said confidently.

"Will it?" She asked.

"You know Kate I really do understand you must be pretty freaked out and I don't know, maybe a baby really isn't something you even want, I'm just letting you know I'm okay with it and am here for you. Besides, if anyone should be apologizing for us getting pregnant it should be me for not remembering my pneumonia patient's daily birth control pill because you were certainly in no condition to remember anything." He said.

"I should've thought about it once I came to my senses and begged for sex." She said and then giggled a little, making him smile.

"That's better." He said and kissed the top of her head.

"It's really not the most awful thing is it?" She asked clearly trying to come to grips with the news.

"It's not awful Kate." He said.

"It's not that I don't want your baby Jack, I just wanted to be a little more stable before we took that step." She explained in an apologetic tone.

"Stability is over-rated." He said.

"So we're going to have a baby and it's going to be okay?" She asked.

He didn't answer her, but instead pulled back and looked into her eyes, kissing her on the mouth softly at first and then deepening the kiss as she began laying back, grabbing hold of his tie at the top and pulling him back with her. He pulled out of the kiss and looked at her.

"I love you." He said sweetly, seriously.

"I love you too." She replied just as seriously.

"Want to go out to lunch and celebrate?" He asked.

"We are going to celebrate and since we haven't had sex in two days I think we might need to take the rest of the day off in order to celebrate properly." She teased.

"Kate, we had sex this morning." He chuckled.

"Ten minutes of furious fucking to get each other off before we go to work doesn't count." She told him as if that was common knowledge.

"Ten minutes? I guess I should be flattered that it felt like it lasted that long." He scoffed.

"I want to slowly undress you and lick every inch of your body, every inch." She purred.

"Those inches are increasing by the second so you should probably get busy." He told her and closed his mouth over hers again.

They kept their mouths locked together in a wet, passionate kiss while they began tugging at one another's clothes. She was anxious, horny and eager to get him undressed and ended up nearly hanging him with his own tie forcing him to pull out of the kiss, laughing lightly at the situation while pushing two fingers in-between his now constricting collar and his throat.

"Is this pay back for getting you pregnant?" He teased and loosened the tie.

"Sorry." She apologized with a sexy grin.

He moved up onto his knees on the bed and removed the tie completely and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. She sat up and jerked the bottom of his shirt out his pants and pushed it backward off his shoulders and arms before pushing him back onto the bed and following on top of him, his warm naked upper half irresistable to her and she began licking and nibbling on his neck, the light scent of his cologne filling her nostrils as she continued to make a meal out of him.

He stopped her and pulled her forward, kissing her deeply and then holding her face just inches from his.

"I want you naked." He said in a lustful tone.

"I want to suck your cock." She replied in an equally lustful tone.

"I want you to, but only if you're naked while you're doing it." He told her and began pushing her pants down her hips.

She let him strip her of all of her clothes and then let him watch while she slowly slithered over his naked chest and stomach, inching her way down to his pants, going up onto her knees, straddling his thighs and working his belt loose. She unfastened the button at the top, lowered the zipper and then moved forward again, allowing her breasts to glide over his hot skin as her mouth made it's way up to his mouth, their tongues teasing and tasting together while his hands moved over her soft warm skin.

She slid back down stopping at his stomach and burying her face in the warm fuzziness, kissing and licking and nipping lightly at his flesh as she slowly moved her mouth down his treasure trail to the opening she'd created in his pants, greeted immediately by the tip of his hardening length, making her smile and glance up at him.

"Commando? You actually go to work without underwear?" She asked.

"It makes it easier for the nurses to go down on me." He teased.

"Not funny Jack." She warned.

"I need to do some laundry, but if I knew you were coming to visit me at work I'd go ahead and leave my underwear at home." He told her.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? You sitting behind your desk with me underneath sucking your cock while people come in and out." She suggested while applying soft kisses to the hardening appendage.

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, feeling her lips close over his tip and suck gently while her hand wrapped around his base and began slowly pumping. He felt her pull him out through the opening in his pants and opened his eyes again, looking down at her naked body bent over, holding his cock while part of it disappeared into her mouth and then reappeared, slurping and then releasing him with a pop as if he were a popsicle, the best popsicle she'd eve had in her life judging by the way her mouth was working him over, savoring the flavor and even adding an occasional "Mmm", the vibration driving him crazy.

"Kate, please, no more. I need to be inside you." He pleaded with her.

She ignored his pleas and continued on smiling when the first spurt of him landed on her tongue, enjoying the sounds of pleasure coming from him, knowing that she was responsible for it and loving that she could make him feel so good. When he was finished, she added a few soft, gentle licks just to make sure she didn't leave any of him behind and slowly slithered back up his body, kissing him deeply and moaning as he flipped her over, knowing it was her turn to be pleased in ways that only he could please and he wouldn't disappoint.

Her hands were above her head and his were clasped over them, holding them down while their sweat covered bodies worked at a feverish pace to get over the edge.

"Oh god Jack, just a little more." She panted and drew her hips back futher, encouraging him to drive harder and deeper.

He was so close, every muscle in his body burning as he pushed in and out of her like a mad man, so turned on and so in need of release, but wanting to make her come once more before he slowed it down and exploded inside of her. He felt her walls tighten around him and felt her hands clamp tighter to his and she cried out, wrapping her legs around him and stilling him, panting and moaning and squirming beneath him while he watched, god how he loved to watch her come.

He managed to move again, slowly, finding a rhythm that would bring him relief, trying desperately to tune out the pager that was going off on the bedside table so he could come. She took hold of the sides of his face and pulled him in for a sloppy kiss and then separated, keeping his face close to hers.

"Come on Jack, I'm waiting for you to fill me up. Do I need to put you in my mouth again, swirl my tongue around your cock the way you like it?" She coaxed in a soft sexy tone.

"No, I like it inside you, so wet and warm and snug, making love until we're too exhausted to mov..." He panted, then moaned as his orgasm took hold of him.

He moved off of her and in an aggrivated motion reached for the offensive device that nearly distracted him right out of the orgasm he wanted and needed so badly. He saw it was a 9-1-1 page and began looking for his cell phone.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked.

"No idea. I'm not on call so it must be pretty bad if they're paging me with a 9-1-1." He answered finally finding his phone and punching in the appropriate number.

She watched him, the news on the other end appearing to rattle him and then him promising he'd be right there and disappearing into the bathroom before she had a chance to ask him what was wrong. He exited the bathroom, disappeared into the closet and reappeared dressed in jeans and pull over shirt. He sat on the side of the bed and began putting his tennis shoes on.

"Is everything okay Jack?" Kate asked.

"I don't know. Sarah's in the ER bleeding internally and refusing surgery. I've got to get down there, convince her to let them operate or as her husband give them permission to do it." Jack said.

"What? Why? Did she have an accident?" Kate asked.

"I don't know, but I'll call you as soon as I know what's going on." He said as he stood.

He transferred his wallet and keys from the pockets of his discarded dress slacks and into his jeans pockets, grabbed his cell phone and pager and leaned over, kissing her quickly and exiting the room without another word, but clearly upset.


	18. Chapter 18

Jack entered the emergency room through a back door and headed straight to the area that housed the three trauma bays, finding a group working busily in one of the units. He approached the area and was spotted immediately by Sarah's doctor. She approached him and took him to the side.

"What's going on?" Jack asked.

"Ectopic pregnancy, the tube blew." She told him.

"Then why isn't she in surgery, she's going to bleed to death." Jack responded.

"She's refusing Dr. Shephard, says it will kill her baby, I can't get her to accept that the baby is already dead. We've already given her two units of blood and she's not going to make it if we don't get her into surgery now." She told him.

"Then do it, I'll sign the forms." Jack said.

"Do you want to see her before we take her to surgery?" The doctor asked.

"No." Jack answered flatly.

"Dr. Shephard, I understand that you and Sarah aren't...well, that's none of my business, but she's pretty scared and upset and she's lost a lot of blood, maybe you could just let her know you're here, she's been asking for you." The doctor told him.

"Yeah, okay." Jack mumbled and walked toward the group of people, finding an opening and moving to the side of the gurney.

What he saw was like a punch in the stomach, she was a goulish grey color, face tear streaked and barely conscious. He reached down and took hold of her hand. She opened her eyes and fresh tears began streaming down her cheeks. She started to talk and he silenced her, shaking his head no and forcing a comforting smile.

"They're going to take you surgery and stop the bleeding; you're in good hands so try to relax." He told her.

"Please don't let them Jack, they're going to kill the baby." She pleaded and he couldn't be sure, but it appeared that she actually did care about the baby, like having it meant more to her than anything else in the world and the second punch to the gut was successfully delivered.

"Sarah the baby can't be saved, I'm sorry." He said softly.

"Are you?" She accused.

"Yes, I'm sorry this is happening to you." He told her.

"Happening to me. I guess that pretty much sums it up huh Jack?" She said sadly.

"I guess it does." He said.

"I'm not letting them operate." She argued.

"I know, but I gave them permission." He told her.

"You have no right." She protested.

"I'm still your husband so yeah I do, but even if I weren't, I wouldn't stand by and watch you die Sarah. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but everything is going to be okay for you again." He told her.

"Brian brought me, will you...?" She started to ask but then went silent, monitors beeping, her body trying to shut down.

Jack moved out of the way so they could do what needed to be done, hearing the monitors stablilize again as he walked away, knowing they were taking her to surgery, a bloody surgery that if she survived would leave her with about a 40 percent chance of ever being able to conceive again. He wasn't overly concerned that she wouldn't survive, the procedure wasn't that difficult, the blood loss the biggest obstacle, but he felt confident she'd be fine physically. He felt a certain amount of guilt, most of it over not being the least bit regretful that there would be no baby. He honestly felt a great deal of sadness for her and her loss and how alone she appeared to be. He also honestly felt like dealing with Sarah and her sadness was no longer his job and was struggling with whether that was right or wrong.

He stopped by the desk just inside the doors that led to the waiting room and signed the surgical consent forms and then he walked to the opposite wall, leaned against it and called Kate. He explained what had happened as he pushed through the doors and entered the ER waiting room. He scanned the chairs for the man he'd seen in the school parking lot earlier that day, wondering if the guy cared enough to actually stick around, the answer to his question coming quickly as he spotted the man sitting alone in a back corner. He ended his call with Kate telling her he'd call her right back and made his way over to where the man was sitting, stopping in front of him.

"Are you Brian?" Jack asked and then backed up as the man stood up.

"Who are you?" Brian asked, Jack's street clothes not giving any indication that he was a doctor.

"I'm Jack Shephard." He said.

"Listen man, this isn't the time or place for this." Brian said.

"For what? I thought you might want to know what's going on with Sarah." Jack said.

"That's right, you're a doctor. Is that why you haven't punched me yet?" Brian asked.

Jack rubbed his hand over the back of his neck as if relieving a cramp the size of Texas, looking the man up and down and then finally taking a seat in the chair opposite him, Brain following his move and sitting back down.

"I'm not interested in punching you. I'm beyond feeling any kind of anger about my failed marriage." Jack huffed.

"So what, you're just trying to be a friend?" Brian asked.

"No, I'm not interested in that either. Sarah is in surgery and she's critical, but she's young and strong and in good hands." Jack replied sharply.

"So I guess she lost the baby?" Brian asked.

"She did." Jack answered.

"Uh, sorry man." Brian said shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

Jack studied him for a moment, trying to read him, trying to determine if this guy cared about her or if he'd just found himself caught in the middle of something and wasn't sure how to get out of it.

"She'll probably be in surgery a couple of hours and then about an hour in recovery and then you can see her." Jack offered.

"Um yeah, about that. I was just there when she collapsed and I really can't hang around, you understand, right." Brian stumbled for the right words.

"No, not really." Jack said.

"Look, Sarah is wonderful woman, but I'm not ready for all this, this drama. Please, tell her I'm sorry about the baby and that I'll try to get by to see her tomorrow." Brian said.

"No problem." Jack sighed and then stood, looking down at the man, struggling to find the right words. Brian finally stood up and made eye contact with him.

"What?" Brian asked.

"I'm curious about something. You seem as confident as Sarah was that the baby was mine. Why is that?" Jack asked.

"Jack, I've got an ex-wife and two young children I barely get to see. The last thing I'd ever want is to add to the misery by creating another and take the chance it would happen again. I had a vasectomy nearly two years ago. It was your baby." Brian told him patting him on the shoulder and walking away.

Jack found the nearest elevator and rode to the floor where his office was located, stopping on the way to ask the surgical nurses to page him when Sarah's surgery was over. He entered his office and sat heavily on the couch. He flipped his phone open and made a few phone calls, the final one to Kate.

"Hey, sorry about that, I had to take care of some stuff." He said softly.

"Are you okay Jack?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Listen Kate, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but she's completely alone so I'm going to hang out in my office until she's out of recovery and awake. I managed to contact her mother, but she's in Lake Tahoe and can't be here until sometime tomorrow." Jack explained.

"You're not hurting my feelings Jack. Take as much time as you need." Kate told him.

"I love you so much. I wish I could hold you right now." He admitted his voice very soft, his tone revealing his confused emotional state.

"I love you too baby. Call me if you need anything." Kate said.

Jack closed the phone and relaxed back into the couch, closing his eyes and replaying the events of the day over and over until sleep finally silenced the movie playing in his head the feel of lips lightly kissing his lips and jaw line waking him up less than an hour later. He opened his eyes to find a pair of shimmering green eyes looking back at him and he immediately pulled her in for a another kiss, a proper kiss, a kiss that let her know how incredibly happy and grateful he was that she was there. She finally pulled away from him, looking him over and letting her hand glide gently over the side of his face.

"You look exhausted Jack and I don't mean physically." She said sadly.

"It's been an emotional day Kate, bad and good." He said softly and let his hand move lightly over her stomach.

"I brought you some soup and a sandwich from that deli you like so much because I know you haven't eaten." She said and set the bag beside his outstretched form.

"Thanks, I'm really not very hungry. Would you like to share it with me?" He asked.

She agreed because she knew it would be the only way to get some food into him.

"Have you heard anything? Is she still in surgery?" Kate asked.

"I told them to page me when she's out and they haven't yet." Jack answered quietly.

"I'm sorry about the baby Jack." Kate said.

"How come I'm not?" Jack asked his eyes sad and distant.

"I don't know, maybe because you're a scientist and it wasn't really a baby yet in your mind. If I lost our baby right now would you be overwhelmed with grief?" Kate asked appealing to the part of Jack's brain she knew ruled him the majority of the time.

Jack considered the perfectly fair question for a moment and then sat up, allowing her to slide in beside him, wrapping his arm around her and opening the sack of food with his free hand.

"Am I really that cold Kate?" He asked.

"Jack, you're one of the warmest, kindest human-beings I've ever known, but you are also the most sensible, so if I lost the baby would you be sad for the loss of a baby or for the loss of what might've been between us?" Kate asked.

"I am sad for her Kate. I hate thinking about how sad she's going to be when she wakes up and I hate thinking about how alone she is and I hate knowing that I'm causing her so much pain." He admitted.

"I think that Sarah is lucky to have you in her life and this concerned after all she's put you through. You're a good man Jack." Kate said.

"I don't want to see her Kate. It's too much." Jack sighed heavily.

"Does she not have anyone that would want to be here for her, maybe a close friend?" Kate asked.

"Beth." Jack said as if he'd just had a revelation.

"Beth?" Kate asked.

"Of course, why didn't I...Kate you're a genius." Jack said happily and kissed her quickly before standing and moving over to his desk, digging through a drawer, new life injected into his emotionally drained body.

She watched him dig through the drawer, mumbling something about how he knew he'd tossed it in one of the drawers and then finally stopping, holding up a business card and smiling at Kate.

"What are you doing Jack? Who is Beth?" Kate asked.

"Beth is Sarah's closest friend, they're like sisters, graduated pre-school together. She was Sarah's maid of honor and was always over when she wasn't traveling for her job. She was helping me throw a surprise party for Sarah's last birthday and gave me one of her business cards so I could get in touch with her. Anyway, she would want to know what's happening and would want to be here for Sarah and knowing she was here would keep me from feeling so guilty for not being here. So cross your fingers and hope she's in town." Jack said and began dialing the number on the card.

Kate listened to him talk to the woman on the phone, explaining the situation and quietly accepting the lecture he was receiving, the hatefulness of it obvious by the look on his face and getting to the point where it was taking everything he had to contain his anger and Kate finally spoke up.

"Jack, you don't have to put up with that." Kate reminded him and he nodded.

"Listen Beth, Sarah will be out of surgery and awake within the next couple of hours. All I want to know is if you think you can be here for her until her mother gets back into town." Jack said flatly.

He listened intently for another minute or so and then closed the phone without saying goodbye, tossing the phone onto his desk and leaning back into his chair. He cupped his hands over his face and breathed heavily. She walked over to him and touched his arm. He pulled his hands away from his face and gently pulled her into his lap, hugging her tightly, so tightly she had to pry herself away so she could look at him.

"I guess you got an earful huh?" Kate asked jumping lightly when the pager hooked to his pants went off.

"Yeah, I'm scum, but she's coming and that's all that matters." Jack said as he reached for the pager.

Jack picked up the receiver to the phone on his desk and punched in a few numbers. He spoke briefly to someone and then hung up.

"Is everything okay?" Kate asked.

"She's in recovery and will need another unit or two of blood, but she's going to be okay." Jack answered.

He looked at her with wet, brown, puppy dog eyes and she could tell he was struggling emotionally. She kissed his cheek, hugged him and let her head rest on his shoulder.

"Kate, I want Sarah to be happy and the idea that this baby was possibly her only chance to have children bothers me. I saw the sadness and desperation in her face, she really did want that baby and it really hurt to see her like that, but I don't feel guilty about what you and I have, just the opposite, I'm tired of the black cloud hanging over our relationship and just want it to go away. All I want to do is walk out of this hospital and be with you. I don't want to think about Sarah anymore today or tomorrow or even the day after that. When did I become this self-absorbed man that only cares about his own happiness?" He spoke softly.

Kate buried her face in his chest and began laughing and after awhile it became contagious and he found himself laughing and asking her to please explain what was so funny.

"Jack, would a self-absorbed man that only cares about his own happiness be sitting her kicking himself over that? Would he have spent his afternoon making sure his ex-wife was going to be okay and feeling too sad for her to leave her alone? Would he have gone to the trouble to call her closest friend knowing he was going to have to endure an underserved tongue lashing? Jack, you've gone above and beyond for Sarah." Kate told him.

He looked into her eyes, smiled and pulled her in for a long, deep meaningful kiss.

"Thank you for being so understanding today." He said.

"I love you Jack and what you did for her today is one of reasons why I love you." She said and kissed him again.

"What do you say we get out of here and go some place, some place away from pagers, cell phones and ex-wives in crisis. We can start with a nice dinner some place." Jack offered.

"How about Chinese take out and long, hot, bath at home, I promise to make you turn off your pager and cell phone." Kate suggested in a seductive tone.

"Okay, but then I want to get away. Can you get time away from work?" He asked.

"What did you have in mind? Do you have another fancy boat at your disposal?" She teased.

"No, but how does Vail sound?" He asked.

"Vail, as in Colorado?" She asked.

"Yeah, they have some beautiful resorts there. What do you say?" He pushed.

"I've never been on skis in my life Jack." She admitted.

"You're assuming I was planning on leaving the comfort of your naked body curled up next to mine to go play in the snow." He said, a sexy grin spreading across his face.

"You're going to spoil me Jack." She said.

"Good. Come on Kate, we can fly out tomorrow or the day after, get away for 3 or 4 days, keep ourselves surrounded with mounds of fluffy white peacefulness. It's an amazing calm I can't even begin to describe; you have to experience it first hand." He continued to try to persuade her.

"Three or four days of a naked, amazing calm, who could say no to that?" She said with a grin and kissed him.

She moved off of his lap and they left his office. They walked toward the surgery recovery units so Jack could check on Sarah one last time and they left the hospital. He decided her idea of Chinese food and a hot bath sounded better than a crowded restaurant and they sat in the living room of their home enjoying the first meal either had taken the time to eat that day. With opened food boxes and paper plates with bits and pieces of uneaten vegetable lo mein and sesame chicken on them spread out over the table in the living room, he was putting the finishing touches on their Vail trip using a lap top. He was quickly losing his focus as she busied herself by licking, biting, teasing and slowly undressing his upper body, his shirt peeled off of him and tossed across the room and her mouth hungrily kissing its way down the center of his back while her hands roamed freely.

"Kate as soon as I'm done here you are going to get a spanking." He laughed as he removed her hand from his crotch.

"Mmm, do I get lay naked over your lap while you do it?" She asked sending every last drop of blood to his groin, making him squirm and groan softly.

He punched the enter button on the notebook in front of him, closed the lid, turned and had hold of both her wrists before she had time to react. He pushed her back, pinning her to the couch and holding her there, one hand holding both wrists above her head while his other hand began unbuttoning the blouse she had on. She squirmed beneath him, anticipating what he was going to do with her.

"If I let go of your wrists are you going to be still?" He asked.

"What do you think?" She replied with a grin.

He finished removing her blouse with one hand and then moved her to the floor, straddling her body and using just enough of his weight to hold her down while he used her blouse to bind her wrists together and then tied them to the table leg. He sat back and admired his work, her half naked body tied to the table and wriggling below him.

"Jack, I'm carrying your baby and you're going to tie me to a table and fuck me?" She pretended to mind.

He looked down at her, studying her for a moment before grabbing the folded blanket off of the couch and placing it underneath her bound body, adding a couple of throw pillows under her head and then sitting back, running a finger down the center of her chest, her bra discarded long before he'd managed to get the blouse off of her.

"Is that better? I can't have the mother of my child uncomfortable even though I know she wants this so bad her panties are already soaking wet." He said in a husky tone as he unfastened her pants and began sliding them down her legs.

He left her panties on and moved back up toward her face, leaning in and kissing her, letting his tongue glide over her lips before pushing it into her mouth where she wanted it. His body was hovering over her and his jeans were scratching lightly against her exposed flesh and she squirmed some more, moaning and attacking his mouth with hers. He broke the kiss and moved his mouth over her exposed flesh, sucking one nipple and then the other into his mouth, allowing his fingers to gently massage the tender flesh and smiling as she responded to him, moaning his name and attempting to lift her center into his body, begging for the contact she needed to soothe the hunger burning there.

"Untie me Jack, I want to touch you." She pleaded with him.

"No." He said and a continued moving his mouth down her body.

He placed his fingers inside the waistband of her panties and pulled them down to her knees, just to the point where she couldn't work them off on her own. He encouraged her to bend her legs so her knees were pointing toward the ceiling and with one quick yank he jerked his belt out of his belt loops and bound her ankles together with it, the position of her knees and the panties keeping her from opening up so he could be where she wanted him so badly she was almost begging. He rubbed his index finger slowly through her crease, smiling as she fought the confines.

"Jack please." She begged.

"Please what?" He asked.

"Please, I want you inside me." She said.

He jerked hard on the panties and ripped them in half, the act making her moan and allow her knees to separate as far as the restraint around her ankles would allow, him carefully watching to make sure she was enjoying the game as much as he was. He put his hand between her legs and began running his fingers through her wetness, watching her the entire time, penetrating her slightly then gliding the finger up through her crease. She could see the wheels in his head turning and then he stopped, excused himself and returned less than a minute later with one of the fake cocks she owned, a short, thick one he knew he could shove in and out of her without fear of going too deep. He put the toy in her mouth and made her suck on it while he watched.

"Do you want me to fuck you with it Kate?" He asked, the tightness in the front of his jeans impossible to tolerate any longer and he unfastened and unzipped them.

"I want you Jack." She panted.

"Patience baby. I want to play with your pussy for awhile. Are you going to come for me?" He asked and pushed the toy inside her until nothing showed but the round base at it's bottom.

She let go of a deep moan and began bucking her hips in rhythm with the thrusts he was applying with the device, getting into it, her eyes closed and her skin hot to the touch as the constraints kept her in place, but didn't keep her hips from gyrating and bucking around, a scene he wished he could capture on film so she could see just how hot it was.

"Oh yeah Jack harder, fuck me good, make me come." She panted, her response making his need to fuck her impossible to hold off any longer.

He stopped fucking her with the toy and left it inside of her while he pushed his jeans down to his knees and removed the belt that held her ankles together. She saw his swollen cock moving toward her and licked her lips, believing he was about to fuck her senseless. He pushed her legs back and began moving the toy in and out of her again while he sucked her clit into his mouth bringing her to an explosive orgasm quickly. He watched her strain and pull against the restraint around her wrists and then finally settle back down, going up onto his knees and looking at her, still slowly thrusting the toy in and out of her. He finally removed it and replaced it with his throbbing member, holding his position and kissing her deeply before pushing up onto fully extended arms and looking into her eyes.

"Are you okay babe?" He asked.

"I love you so much, love me back Jack." She said.

He reached above her head and untied her restraints, her freed hands immediately wrapping themselves around his shoulders and neck and pulling him in close, kissing him sloppily, so in love she couldn't express it loud enough, hard enough or long enough, her body starting to quiver as her kiss grew hungrier and then she felt him moving within her, soothing her, loving her back.

They climaxed minutes later, him first followed by her, their bodies wet and clinging to one another, the soothing comfort of a hot bath just a flight of stairs away, but no match for the soothing comfort of the sex they'd just shared, his cock still buried deep inside her, his mouth covering hers with a passionate kiss that indicated he wasn't done yet, that he just wanted to stay right there and love her again as soon as he was physically able. She loved that she could make him feel that way, the sex between them so good it made him feel like his body could never get enough her and she always wanted as much as he could give. She knew he was going to relax in a few minutes though, that his brain and his body were going to be ready to sleep and that hers would be right there with him, relaxed and ready to sleep for hours.

They finally separated and climbed the stairs to their bed together, falling into it, pulling the blanket over their nude bodies and finding sleep quickly. He was awakened in the middle of the night by a pair of lips kissing the tip of his quickly hardening length and a wet, warm tongue running up and down his length, about to get a mind blowing blow job and be expected to just go back to sleep, his lover as unselfish and giving as any lover he'd ever had, her only request being that he watch because she knew that watching your cock being swallowed whole was part of what made the experience mind blowing. He reached for the lamp beside the bed and turned it on, running his hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face so he could watch her and see how much she was enjoying what she was doing. It was one of the sexiest acts they enjoyed together in his opinon and mirrors overhead in a place where they would fuck often were at the top of his list of things their new home would have because she liked to watch too and he wanted her to be able to watch as often as possible.

She began sucking him into her mouth, tasting his precum and wanting to taste more and he pulled her away, not wanting to be the only one that got off, encouraging her to straddle and mount him, holding onto her just above the hips and guiding her up and down, finding a rhythm and picking up speed, riding him hard, bouncing and then grabbing two handfuls of chest hair and screaming. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, releasing deep inside her, both of them panting, bodies quivering against each other. They stayed that way for a few minutes before lying back down, allowing him to slip out of her so she could move to his side and nestle in as close as she could, his arm wrapping securely around her while the other one reached up and turned the lamp off, their bodies resuming the sleep cycle that their insatiable appetite for one another had interrupted.


	19. Chapter 19

He wasn't sure what woke him, but when he rolled over and found an empty spot where she should've been he opened eyes and worked hard to clear his mind and focus. Daylight was just starting to make it's appearance outside the window so he wasn't late for work and it was too early for her to be up and gone. She typically hid under the blankets groggy and wanting to stay in bed until he exited the bathroom freshly showered and dressed for the day. Him sitting on the bed and coaxing her out of it had become a routine for them so the empty bed was the first sign that something was off.

He lay in the bed listening, swearing he could hear her crying and after a few seconds he deduced that she was indeed crying and moved out of the bed. He grabbed a pair of boxers out of a drawer, slipped them on and moved toward the closed bathroom door. He listened for a moment and then knocked lightly.

"Kate, can I come in?" He asked.

"I'll be out in a second." She called back.

He sighed and walked back over to the bed. He waited for nearly 10 minutes and was about to insist she let him in when she finally opened the door and exited. He looked up at her, seeing that she was very upset and patted the bed beside him, inviting her to sit next to him and talk to him. She made her way to the bed, sat beside him and began crying again when he put his arm around her.

"What's wrong?" He asked already suspecting she was either cramping or bleeding or both.

"I'm bleeding. I'm losing the baby aren't I?" She asked.

"Not necessarily, but we should get you to your doctor and find out." He said.

"I've got a closing at nine o'clock, I can't." She explained, just being with him seeming to calm her down some.

"I think maybe you should get someone else to do that for you, don't you?" He asked staying calm and supportive.

"Look at me, yesterday I was crying because I was scared about being pregnant and now I'm crying because I'm not anymore. It's dumb I guess, but I was kind of looking forward to having a little piece of you growing inside me." She said and buried her face in his chest, crying again.

"Baby, you're jumping to conclusions and it's not dumb. Do you feel bad? Are you cramping? Are you bleeding a lot?" He asked.

"No." She answered through her sniffles, making him let go of a light-hearted breath, rub his hands over her back, pull her in closer and kiss the top of her head.

"No? No to all of it?" He asked.

"Yes, I mean no, I mean I feel fine or at least I think I do, you know you start imagining things hurt when you wake up to something like that." She said.

"Yeah, that's understandable. So, let's call your doctor and get you in and find out for sure and if it's bad then we'll be sad together, but until then let's try to think positive." He suggested.

"Would you?" She asked.

"Would I what?" He asked.

"Be sad?" She asked.

"Yes Kate, losing two babies in the same week is a bit much even for a cold bastard like me." He answered clearly offended by what she was suggesting.

"Jack I didn't mean..." Kate started to defend herself, but he shut her down.

"Kate, let's not do this. Let's get showered, try to stay calm, get some breakfast and get you checked out. You're upset and apparently so am I, so let's not make it worse by arguing over things that don't matter." He pleaded with her.

She agreed and they carried on with a normal morning routine, neither one of them doing more than picking at the breakfast they had ordered while waiting for the 8:45 am appointment her doctor had generously given her. Jack sat in the waiting room, quickly becoming surrounded by women in various stages of pregnancy, some accompanied by their husbands, but most not. Kate had gone back to be examined and had been gone about 15 minutes when a nurse popped her head out of the door and called out to him.

He followed the nurse down a hallway decorated with chubby faces of children brought into the world by the five doctors that shared the offices and he felt a slight twinge of sadness as he passed by all the faces and considered that his child would've eventually been added to the wall and now...he shut down and wouldn't allow himself to think beyond now. When he entered the room Kate was sitting up on the exam table, her lower half covered with a sheet.

"You must be Jack." The doctor said without looking up from the chart she was writing in.

"Yes, Jack Shephard." Jack said as he approached her and held his hand out, forcing her to look up and recognize him immediately.

"Dr. Shephard, I had no idea." She said as she stood and shook his hand.

"I guess we work out of the same hospital." Jack replied feeling a little embarrassed or ashamed that he didn't seem to know the young obstetrician as well as the obstetrician knew him.

"I delivered a baby with pretty severe brain and spinal deformities not too long ago and you consulted on the case. So many had sung your praises to the baby's parents and even though I tried to keep them grounded they were hoping for a miracle and you had to convince them to let him go. I felt bad for the position you'd been put into." She explained.

"Of course, Dr. Beyer right? I'm sorry, I don't get to that part of the hospital much, but I do remember the infant. Those kinds of situations are never easy." Jack said.

"If it's any consolation, they are pregnant again with a healthy daughter." Dr. Beyer offered.

"Oh, um good, good for them. I'm sorry, I don't want to seem rude or unfeeling, but can we talk about Kate? Is she okay?" Jack asked.

"Yes, of course, I'm sorry. Kate is fine and so is the baby. She's got some irritation, the cervical tissue is inflamed and tender and that's causing the spotting." Doctor Beyer explained.

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Jack, can we not talk about this right now?" Kate sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Kate, an active sex life didn't cause the irritation. Hormones and sudden changes to the body caused it. However, you should refrain from intercourse until the spotting stops and if there is any discomfort what so ever, you should hold back until that subsides." The doctor said.

Jack thanked the doctor and waited for her to leave the room before moving in close, positioning himself between her legs and kissing her softly.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yes. I should've told you I felt a couple of stabbing pains while we were making love last night. Apparently hitting the already irritated tissue just right caused the bleeding." She said.

"Kate, why would you not ask me to stop if I was hurting you?" He asked.

"Because you weren't, it was the second time, when I was on top and I just bounced too hard a couple of times." She admitted.

"Kate please don't ever pretend to enjoy sex if you're not." He said in a shameful tone.

"See, that's why I didn't want to say anything Jack. It wasn't a big deal and once I readjusted it stopped. It was just a little humiliating describing bouncing to my doctor and I feel kind of stupid for overreacting this morning." She sighed.

"Okay, but we should cool it for a few days, let things heal. I'm sorry you're feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed, but I'm glad everything is okay." He said, offering a smile and another gentle kiss.

"I'm sorry I'm ruining our trip to Vail." She said sadly.

"Kate, I'm sure you'll feel better before our plane takes off tomorrow and if you don't then we'll just wait and go some other time." Jack said.

"We can't be together Jack so we might as well go ahead and reschedule." Kate sighed.

"We can't have sex so we shouldn't go to Vail?" He asked and bit back a smile.

"Don't laugh at me Jack!" She snapped and lost the battle to keep her tears at bay.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, letting her head rest in the space just below his shoulder, rubbing his hands over her back and talking softly to her.

"I'm not laughing at you Kate; you're just so cute sometimes I can't help but smile. Do you really think that sex is the only draw?" He asked.

"I don't know what I think Jack, I'm tired and I feel like I'm going crazy." She huffed.

"This is exactly why four days alone in a peaceful, beautiful place, just the two of us, is exactly what we need." Jack said.

"But it was supposed to be sexy and romantic and naked. We do naked well Jack. I was really looking forward to the quiet intimacy." She said.

"It will be what it was supposed to be. We'll be sexy, romantic, naked and intimate Kate, I promise. Personally I'm just looking forward to being alone with you, snuggled up by the fire, relaxing and talking about only happy things. We're going to be parents and we need to go away, sip champagne and celebrate." He told her.

She didn't respond except to nod and continue to let him hold her until she felt composed enough to get dressed and leave the doctor's office. He took her home and babied her and convinced her to crawl into bed and rest, her hormones making her almost too much for him to deal with. He lay down with her until he was sure she was sleeping deeply and then eased out of the bed. He had to go to work and check on his patients as well as prepare their charts for the doctor that would be stepping in for him while he and Kate were in Vail.

With his patients squared away and a quick trip to the floor where Sarah was to peek at her chart and see how she was doing out of the way, Jack stepped onto the elevator. He looked at the button for the Lobby and then quickly pushed another button and watched the doors close.

The elevator doors opened and Jack stepped out, looking left then right and then walking straight to the windows at the end of the hallway. He stopped at the windows, allowing his forehead to rest on the forearm that was pressed against the window and gazed at the sleeping and crying infants lined up in two neat, tidy rows, some with pink blankets and some with blue. He'd heard that doctors sometimes used the nursery as a means of escape, that staring at the sweet and innocent for a few minutes could help make sense of a world that rarely ever made sense, but he'd never done it, finding the idea ridiculous...until now.

He had no idea how long he'd been standing in front of the window when he felt the touch on his shoulder that snapped him out of his thoughts and back into his reality. He turned and found himself face to face with Christian Shephard, his father who was also a surgeon and a man Jack had spent his entire life trying to please without ever becoming him.

"What are you doing Jack?" Christian asked.

"Nothing, just thinking." Jack said shoving his hands in his pockets and shuffling uncomfortably.

"I heard about Sarah. I'm sorry." Christian said.

"I'm not." Jack replied his voice raw with emotion.

"Okay, so why are you standing here staring at these babies?" He asked.

"What do you think about a man who gets his wife pregnant, wants no part of it and feels no regret over the loss when it's gone, but when his pregnant girlfriend finds out she's not losing his baby all he wants to do is celebrate and start picking out names." Jack said, his father recognizing the mood his son was in.

"I'd say that's a man who knows what he wants and what he doesn't want." His father replied.

"And you don't see a problem with that?" Jack asked.

"No, but apparently you do and you wouldn't be you if you weren't beating yourself up over this, but make no mistake Jack, you would've been a good father to that baby regardless of how you felt about it's mother or it's conception." He told him.

"Yeah, what makes you so sure?" Jack asked.

"Because you're my son and I know you better than anyone and you'll be goddamn Father of the Year if for no other reason than to prove you're not me." Christian said bringing a smirk to Jack's face.

"You have no disparaging comments for me, no looks of disbelief over the fact that I managed to get two women pregnant at the same time?" Jack asked.

"I think we're past that Jack. Life happens and I know you've been miserable in your marriage for awhile, but I think its time you started considering stepping up and taking your place in this family, enjoying the wealth that is rightfully yours as well as take some responsibility for it. You came close to having a child caught in the middle of something that could've been very unpleasant so I hope that you're doing the right thing this time Jack, with Kate I mean." Christian advised.

"You were right dad, about Sarah I mean. I understand what you saw that I didn't, but I don't think you'll see that with Kate and yeah, I'm ready to buy her and the baby the world. " Jack admitted.

"So bring her over for dinner and let your mother and I meet her." Christian offered.

"Why dad?" Jack asked.

"Because I'd like to meet her." Christian answered.

"No, not that. Why is it time I took responsibility for the family fortune?" Jack asked.

"Because I'm going to retire Jack and your mother and I are going to travel and I won't be around to keep an eye on things and I would like to believe that someone I would trust with my life is keeping an eye on things. Can you do that Jack?" Christian asked.

"Okay." Jack agreed with little or no emotion shocking his father.

"This woman must be the real deal." Christian offered with a smirk.

"Yeah, why's that?" Jack asked.

"Because that's the first time you've ever agreed to accept your rightful place in this family. Why is that Jack? Was your childhood really so awful, your parents so bad that you'd want no part of what is and always has been yours?" Christian asked.

"No dad, I guess I just always wanted to be my own man, stand on my own two feet and prove to you that I could do that." Jack answered.

"Jack, I've know that about you since your first day of Kindergarten and you refused to let me walk you to your classroom. You were so stubborn and ready to take on the world and made it clear that you didn't need me to hold your hand." Christian chuckled.

"That's just it dad, I did need you to hold my hand, I just didn't want to disappoint you by letting you see that." Jack told him.

"Well Jack, I think we would both agree that I'd never be Father of the Year and nothing is going to change that, but there's no reason why you can't be better at this than I was." Christian said.

Jack decided to end his conversation with his father there. It was one of their more civil and productive chats and he didn't want to ruin it by attempting to drag it out since neither of them were overly talkative individuals when it came to tapping into real emotions. He didn't seem to want to hide his real emotions quite as much when he was with Kate, which was another reason why he believed he was getting his first real taste of forever and what that really meant in a relationship.

With his hospital responsibilities out of the way, he stopped by Kate's office and explained what was going on with her. She would most likely be angry with him for overstepping his bounds, but he had an ulterior motive for wanting to speak with the people she worked with so he was willing to sit in the dog house for a couple of hours to get the ball rolling on the big surprise he had planned for her.

With all of his errands out of the way, he called her to see what she wanted him to pick up for dinner and headed home, hoping that she was feeling better physically and emotionally. When he arrived at the home they'd been sharing for a short time she was sitting on the couch wearing pajama pants and one of his sweatshirts, knees pulled up to her chest and arms wrapped around them. He approached her slowly, trying to get a read on her current mood, finally setting the sack of food down and sitting beside her and rubbing a hand softly over her upper arm.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

"I was, but I'm fine now. My boss called." Kate said.

"Yeah, about that..." Jack started to explain.

"It's okay Jack, I'm not mad. I know I've been a basket case and my boss thought your stopping by to plead my case was very sweet and I agree, it was. I'm sorry I've been so crazy today, I don't know what's wrong with me." She apologized, dropping her legs down, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"It's okay Kate, your body is going through some pretty significant changes. I mean think about it, a human life is growing inside of you. That's pretty amazing even to those us of with scientific brains. I don't think I've ever bothered to consider how amazing that is until today when I saw all those faces on the walls and the reality of what I had possibly lost hit home. I'm really excited about this baby Kate and about us." He said, so sweet and sincere she felt a lump form in her throat.

She hugged him again and kissed him, a deep lingering type of kiss that always led to them tearing at one another's clothes and coming together in a hot, frenzied pile of passion that neither could bottle the edge on. He finally pulled his mouth away, his breathing starting to become labored, amused by how quickly she could suck him in.

"The spotting stopped already." She told him and leaned in to kiss him some more.

He kissed her back and then pulled her into his lap, placing his hands on her lower back and holding her next to him, their faces just inches apart.

"That's good, but we aren't going to make love, not tonight. Let's just eat dinner and fall asleep watching TV like an old married couple." He suggested offering his most charming grin.

"Jack, I feel fine." She argued offering her most irresistible pout.

"Oh the pout, you're good babe, but I'm not going to cave. No sex today and not tomorrow either, but it's negotiable after that." He told her and winked at her.

"Okay, but I can't promise not to get bored on the plane tomorrow and look for something to play with." She teased.

"What do I have to do to get your mind off of sex? If I were to sit in my underwear and burp and scratch would that make me seem less fuckable to you?" He chuckled making her smile.

"That's not an obtainable goal Jack so don't even try. I'll behave, but you should know you will need all of your stamina to keep up with me once this sex ban is lifted because these pregnancy hormones are affecting me in ways that will no doubt result in me rocking your world." She told him and kissed him again.

"Just waking up next to you every day rocks my world." He said sweetly, making her tear up instantly.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. She pulled back and he wiped the tears from her face, kissing her softly and encouraging her to lay her head on his chest and relax.

"You say the sweetest things sometimes Jack and I love you so much and...shit, am I going to be a raving, crying lunatic for 9 months?" She asked making him laugh lightly.

"The mood swings will hang on throughout the pregnancy Kate, but I don't think they are as extreme once you get past the first trimester and your body starts to adjust to all the changes. Any morning sickness yet?" He asked.

"Not really, just a little queasy once in awhile, but nothing like what I've read about." She answered.

"So, are you hungry because it's probably getting cold." He said.

"I don't know, sitting here with you like this is nice. Do you want me to get up so you can eat?" She asked.

"I'm fine." He said grabbing the throw from the end of the couch and laying it over her back, the feel of her snuggling in closer to him under the blanket the closest thing to heaven he'd ever experienced, as happy at the moment as he had been in his life.

They sat together not talking, just enjoying the moment and eventually fell asleep. He awoke about an hour later and carried her upstairs to their bedroom, tucking her in and then joining her, wrapping his body around her from behind, his chin resting just above her head, her small body nestled securely into his. As he lay quietly in the dark thinking about how he had all that mattered to him wrapped up safe and secure, he let the tears go and finally allowed himself to cry for the son or daughter he would never know, didn't want to know and couldn't find it within his heart to mourn or so he thought until this moment.

With a protective hand laid over the womb where his son or daughter was growing and the love he already felt for him or her so obvious to him, the impact of what he'd lost finally hit, the resentment and anger toward the situation gone and replaced with an emptiness, a small void that represented what might've been. He allowed himself to feel the loss and to cry for the child he would never know and probably even a little for the emotional pain the woman he still cared about was experiencing. Eventually he no longer felt the need to cry, the burden lifted and replaced with a calmness that comes with allowing yourself to hurt when your brain has been telling you that you couldn't or shouldn't. He finally closed his eyes, tightening his grip on the woman that meant everything to him, finding that a smile had spread across his face and understanding what it meant to be truly happy.


	20. Chapter 20

He lay perfectly still watching her chest slowly rise and then retract. He never would've believed so much comfort and pleasure could come from watching someone sleep, but here he was, vacationing in one of the most scenic areas in the state of Colorado and the view that was currently taking his breath away was that of the woman he loved more than life itself sleeping peacefully beside him.

She'd hidden the fact that she was queasy that morning, choosing to board the plane feeling nauseous and the becoming so sick she couldn't take care of herself during the flight. He was grateful they were in first class where he had room to help her, the stewardess bringing him ice chips and cool cloths until her stomach finally settled and she quieted and rested comfortably, head on his shoulder and eyes closed, deciding that keeping her eyes closed help keep the nausea at bay.

They took a taxi from the airport to the 5-star resort and she was feeling well enough to sit up and take in the view. He nagged at her until she agreed to eat and with her stomach full of warm soup and the rest of her body exhausted from both the pregnancy and being so ill that morning she'd fallen asleep on his shoulder while they were sitting in their room taking in the view from the large window facing the mountains. He carried her to the bed, laid her down and covered her with a blanket, snuggling in beside her and falling asleep as well.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been watching her sleep, his mind gone to a place that he rarely allowed himself to go and his eyes no longer seeing her, but instead the life he was planning for them. He felt a light touch on his chest and returned to reality, to the two pretty green eyes looking back him that were no longer clouded with fatigue, but bright with life, almost sparking. She smiled at him and he leaned in and kissed her softly.

"Where were you?" She asked.

"With you baby, always with you." He answered, smiling and kissing her again.

"How long have I been asleep?" She asked.

"I don't know, a couple of hours I guess. Are you feeling better?" He asked.

"Yeah, I can't believe I got that sick. Do you think I'm going to be that sick every morning?" She said with a slight sense of dread in her tone.

"Maybe the flight made you sicker than normal. I changed our flight home to an evening flight just to be safe." He told her relaxing onto his back and allowing her to cuddle up next to him.

She lay quietly, enjoying the comfort just being next to him could bring, her head on his chest and his arm wrapped snugly around her body, her free leg tangled with his. She watched the snow falling outside their window and decided the only thing that would make the moment any more perfect would be if they were naked and began slowly swirling her hand down the front of his shirt, tugging at the buttons in a teasing fashion as if to distract him from her intended target. He watched her and let her go until he felt her hand slip down the front of his jeans. He gently pulled her hand away and rolled her onto her back, kissing her deeply and then pulling back.

"Let's go do something, get our minds off of sex." He suggested.

"So it's on your mind too?" She asked.

"Of course, but we shouldn't so let's not torture ourselves." He said.

"Fine, but just so you know, we are going to spend tomorrow naked and fucking." Kate demanded and added in the perfect pout to let him know she wasn't happy about having to wait.

"You're so cute when you're acting like you're three, if my daughter has that face I'm going to be so screwed because I'm so close to giving in right this minute." He said sweetly.

"So you think it's a girl?" Kate asked eagerly making him smile.

"I have no idea, but if a little girl is going to make you as happy as you were just then I'd make ten daughters with you." He told her.

"I'd love a son too Jack, just hearing you talk about the baby like that made me happy." Kate admitted.

"Like what?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. I guess like a dad, like we're really going to have this incredible future and make a happy family together." Kate said.

"We are, I promise." He said and kissed her again, her pulling him in to deepen it and him allowing her to, knowing they could enjoy one another without penetration.

He could feel her hands sliding up and inside his shirt, touching, grabbing, needing to feel him and be as close to him as possible and he felt the same way, the desire to touch and taste all of her becoming overwhelming and before either one of them realized what was happening they had managed to peel one another's clothes off and lay in the center of the bed, naked bodies pressed tightly together, mouths crushed together in a sloppy passionate kiss and hands moving slowly over their most sensitive areas.

"I love you so much, please make love to me Jack." She panted, pulling her mouth from his and attaching her lips to the side of his neck.

He rolled her onto her back and moved his mouth and his hands over her body, softly and slowly loving her with his mouth, moving between her legs and staying there until the familiar cries of ecstasy filled the room, her hips slowly bucking up and into his mouth, his arm wrapped around her thigh, keeping her open and exposed to him as he stayed with her, softly kissing and licking as much of her as she could stand, the sound of her panting his name over and over all the satisfaction he would ever need.

He moved back up and then to the side of her, lying on his side and smiling as she rolled onto her side to face him. Her face was flushed from the experience, her cheeks a light pink and the rest of her body was hot to the touch. He moved his hand lightly up and down her arm and kissed her softly. He felt her hand wrap around his erection and closed his eyes, the feeling of her soft, warm fingers and palm gripping him almost as good as being inside of her.

She encouraged him to roll onto his back and slowly slithered down his body, her hand still wrapped around his cock, moving slowly up and down as she moved into a comfortable position, a position that would allow her to rock his world in a manner so intense he wouldn't be able to watch, the feeling so good all he could do was keep his forearm over his eyes and try to remember to breathe.

She slowly worked him in and out of her mouth, the warm wetness and the light suction making him moan and she wasn't sure, but she thought she heard him whimper once or twice before his moans turned to pants and his free hand held onto her hair, the first taste of his release hitting her tongue as his butt cheeks and thighs tightened below her, bucking up into her mouth, the grip on her hair tightening.

"Jesus Christ whatever you do, don't stop what you're doing." He pleaded and then couldn't speak anymore, his body and his mind consumed with the orgasm he was experiencing.

She couldn't help but smile at his words, his lower half jerking and trembling in ways that she loved to make him jerk and tremble and when he was done and she was done, she moved back up his body, laying over his stomach and chest, her chin resting on her arms that were folded and resting on his upper chest, her eyes looking up into his. His hands moved softly over her back, fingers lightly tickling her and giving her goose bumps while he watched her, his expression one of awe.

"How'd I get lucky enough to find you?" He asked sweetly.

"You didn't, I found you." She answered and smiled at him.

"You did and it will officially go down as the best night of my life." He said.

"The sex was pretty great." She admitted.

"Sex with you is always great. It's the best night of my life because if you hadn't been so god damn hot and irresistible, not to mention pushy, I never would've gotten to know you and you wouldn't be laying here right now looking at me like I probably don't deserve to be looked at." He said.

"You deserve it." She said and scooted up, locking her mouth over his and kissing him, still wanting him, the oral sex very good, but not providing the closeness that intercourse with him gave her, that she was craving, being one with him the most special feeling she'd ever known.

She continued to kiss him hungrily and he knew where it was headed and what she wanted because he wanted it too, but one of them had to be the bad guy and at try to follow the doctor's suggestion. He pulled out of the kiss and smiled when she let go of a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry baby I want it too, but please, let's try to wait until tomorrow and make sure you're healed." He pleaded with her.

"Okay, but we're sleeping naked tonight because I am having you for breakfast." She insisted making him laugh lightly.

"Should I set an alarm?" He teased.

"You won't need to; I plan on waking you up with a bang." She grinned.

"I guess we should do some sightseeing because it doesn't sound like we're going to make it out of the room again after tonight." He told her, kissing her again with a hot, hungry mouth and then forcing himself to pull away.

"Mmm...feels like you're looking forward to tomorrow as much as I am." She moaned and pulled him back for more.

He allowed her to pull him back in, kissing her and holding her and moving his hands over her, wishing he could push inside of her and show her exactly how he was feeling about her at the moment. He finally pulled away again, so close to caving that he finally forced himself away from her and off of the bed. He stood beside the bed, his breathing labored, completely charmed by how easily she could suck him in.

"Let's get dressed, go walk around, grab some dinner." He suggested.

She looked at him, his semi-aroused cock bobbing around in front of his gorgeous, firm naked body and wished that she could just stay inside and play with him until they were both too exhausted to play any longer, but she knew it was killing him to not be able to fuck her as much as it was killing her so she smiled at him and scooted off the bed, grabbed her clothes and walked toward the bathroom.

"Give me about 15 minutes and we can go." She said, entering the bathroom and closing the door.

To anyone paying attention they looked like a newlywed couple walking along the snowy sidewalks, looking into the various windows, arms wrapped snuggly around one another and stopping frequently to share a sweet kiss, innocent enough for public display, their body language screaming _'we're in love and the rest of the world doesn't currently exist'._ Kate had a small digital camera and was snapping pictures of anything and everything that grabbed her attention, trying desperately to get Jack to cooperate and pose in front of buildings or displays and not having much luck.

"Jack, come on I just want one picture of you." Kate pleaded.

"Kate, I hate having my picture taken, let me take your picture." He argued and then wrestled the camera away from her, tickling her and then kissing her when she got upset with him, the kiss more passionate than the others they'd shared while enjoying their walk, lingering and pulling her closer.

"Excuse me." A voice called snapping them out of their reverie.

They turned to find an older woman standing beside them.

"Can we help you?" Jack asked.

"No, but I can help you. Please, you are such an adorable couple and you seem so happy. Let me take your picture, you should have at least one of the two of you enjoying your honeymoon." She said.

"We're not..." Kate started to object, but was stopped by Jack.

"You're right, she's every man's dream come true. I'm a lucky guy." Jack said and handed the camera to the woman.

Kate smiled at him warmly and snuggled in close, wrapping one arm around his back and letting the other hand rest over the center of his chest, her head resting comfortably in the space below his shoulder, both of them holding one another and smiling while the woman snapped a few pictures of them. She handed the camera back to Kate and they thanked her and continued their slow walk. He noticed she was starting to shiver and stopped, turning her to face him and pulling her in close, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing his hands over her back.

"Let's go back to the resort, grab some dinner and warm up. They offer horse drawn carriage rides. I thought after dinner we could do that. What do you think?" He asked.

"It sounds nice." She agreed.

They enjoyed a light dinner, grabbed a blanket from their room and climbed into one of the carriages that were lined up outside. He spread the blanket over both of them, smiling a smile of pure contentment as she relaxed back into him. They sat quietly and enjoyed the calm, quiet and peaceful scenery as the carriage moved slowly down its designated path. He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head.

"Are you okay, not too cold?" He asked.

"I'm good. I'm thinking about the hot bath we're going to share when we get back to the room." She told him and snuggled in closer.

"What that lady said earlier Kate, I'd marry you tonight if I could, you believe that don't you?" He asked.

She turned to face him, kissing him and then pulling back a little, their faces just inches apart.

"I believe you. Thank you for bringing me here Jack, it's beautiful." She told him and moved into his lap, straddling him and snuggling in closer.

"You're shivering." He noted and put more of the blanket around her.

"I'm not shivering because I'm cold Jack." She giggled.

He chuckled lightly before having his mouth swallowed up in a passionate kiss, the rest of her quivering, not shivering body pressed into his, begging to be cuddled and touched. He held her close with one arm and explored her quivering form with his free hand, unzipping her coat and slipping his hand under her sweater, the skin on her stomach warm, the nipples underneath the thin material of her bra immediately responsive. She moaned into his mouth and then moved her lips down, kissing his neck, sucking on the warm skin, marking him, making him want her. God she was so good at making him want her.

Jack glanced up and ahead at the driver who was approximately five or six feet away from them. He seemed to be in his own world, oblivious to anything but keeping the horses on the right path and Jack would be the first to admit that his mind was close to being gone, the need pressing hard against the confines of his jeans. Her mouth was higher now, her tongue tracing a path just behind his earlobe while her hips were gyrating slowly over his, her hand down between them, unfastening his top button and then unzipping him, reaching in and wrapping her hand around his hard-on and then she brought her mouth to his ear, knowing she had him and that he wouldn't deny her.

"Take my pants off Jack. I want you inside me now." She purred in a soft, sexy tone, tugging gently on his cock.

He let go of a breathy, happy to admit defeat laugh and made quick work of her pants and panties, slipping them completely off of one leg and moving his hand through her crease, pushing one then two fingers into her dripping hole to make sure she was ready. He guided her over him, their mouths locked in a passionate kiss, both closing their eyes as she slowly impaled herself onto the throbbing appendage, moaning lightly into each other's mouths. He pulled his mouth from hers and pulled her closer, holding her tight, thrusting up into her, eyes still closed and hands holding tightly to her.

"Oh fuck that feels goods." He whispered into her ear.

"Mmm yeah, go harder Jack, I'm close." She whispered back.

"Are you sure it's okay, no sharp stabbing pains you're keeping from me?" He panted, his mind crazed with lust and the need to come, but not so far gone he'd forgotten why they'd been denying each other what they both craved like a drug.

"I'm fine Jack, oh god this is so good, make me come hard baby." She panted, both of them doing their best to keep their voices to low, desperate whispers.

He thrust into her hard and quick, keeping the blanket over them and keeping her close, her pussy tightly wrapped around him, keeping them joined while allowing him to slide freely in and out. He felt her clenching around him and stopped his thrusts, took hold of her hips and rocked up into her slowly watching her face while she came and letting his own release go, joining her in the moment, locking their mouths together again so they could pant and moan softly to each other, the naughtiness of what they'd just done, what they were still doing, making the moment that much more exciting.

When they were done, he kept her covered while she put her pants back on, her crotch still tingling from where he'd been, where he'd taken her, where he always managed to take her without fail and she smiled at him, kissing him gently and fastening his pants for him. They didn't speak much afterward, their bodies and their minds still coming down and while they should've been trying to relax, both were recharging, anticipating what was sure to come next.

Jack tipped the carriage driver and he and Kate slowly made their way to their room. Once inside he took hold of her hands and backed her toward the door until she was pinned against it, bringing his mouth to hers while guiding her hands down and around his shoulders and neck. He never said a word, which made the scene unfolding in front of her that much more intense. He wanted her and he was about to take complete control and take her. She was a more than willing participant, allowing him to dominate, to take his time and slowly peel the layers of clothes off of her until she was completely naked and to do so without ever making a sound.

He laid her on the bed and she watched while he undressed, slowly licking her lips as his lean, muscular form presented itself to her, his strong arms and chest bold and naked before her while his hands unfastened his belt, followed by the button and then the zipper and she wondered if he had any idea how incredibly hot and sexy the act was. He continued his silence, watching her through dark, hungry eyes. His hand and body movements were direct and to the point, moving onto the bed and working himself between her legs, his eyes never leaving hers and she nearly came as she watched him grip his cock and put it into position, pushing her legs back and pushing himself in and forward all in one motion.

His breathing was becoming labored as he fought to contain his excitement and his need to just fuck her long and hard, but without ever losing sight of how much he loved her or importantly, without her ever doubting the love he felt for her. He began moving, staying hovered above her and steadily fucking her, feeling her fingernails digging into his shoulders and watching her bite her bottom lip just before she would cry out and plead with him to never stop. He continued on until he was near exhaustion, his entire body covered with sweat and every single muscle burning. He drove into her one last time, hard and deep and then held his position while his semen spilled into her.

"Oh fuck yeah." He murmured, his mind in a place that felt so good these were the only words he could find, the closest thing to a sentence he could form and then he was silent again, collapsing down onto her, not moving, his head resting just above her breasts and showing no attempt or desire to move.

She held onto him, running her fingers through his sweat soaked hair, feeling his softening cock still buried deep within her while his heart rate began to slow to a normal rhythm along with his breathing. They lay that way for a few minutes, the silence between them almost as perfect as the love they had just shared. He finally moved off of her, pulling her up and off the bed. She looked into his eyes and he smiled a tired, grateful smile at her and they walked to the large Jacuzzi tub together.

As she lay curled up on his chest in the soothing hot water, she felt his hands gliding slowly over her back and side and then felt the other one caress her abdomen gently. She lifted her head and looked up at him. He leaned in and kissed her softly.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you, how much you mean to me?" He said, more of a statement than a question.

"I think you just attempted to drive that point home, literally." She said and smiled at him.

"Attempted? Does that mean I didn't succeed?" He asked.

"Oh no, you succeeded, you always do. I get it Jack. I get what you're saying and doing in those moments and I have to admit, it's pretty incredible to be the object of so much desire. I hope that I make you feel as special and loved as you make me feel." Kate told him her voice cracking.

"Where do you think the need to drive the point home comes from?" He said his voice nearly as emotional as hers.

"You were right about coming here, we both needed this." She told him.

"Yeah, we both definitely need to be as relaxed as possible before we endure dinner with my parents." He chuckled.

"They made you so they can't be that bad." Kate argued.

"They're not, they're just very hands off, distant, some might even say cold. They brought me here a few times when I got old enough to fend for myself, you know, not interfere with their fun by having to spend time with me." Jack told her.

"Jack, every time you talk about your childhood I feel like crying. You came to Vail and wandered around by yourself?" She asked.

"I did, but usually only for about a half a day. There was always some other 12 or 13 year old in the same boat I was in and we'd end up hanging out together and having a good time. Lifestyles of the wealthy I guess." Jack said.

"Yeah, I bet you were so cute and shy at that age, no girl would've been able to resist." She teased.

"As a matter of fact it usually was a girl, but you're the first girl I ever shared a carriage ride with and wow was that worth the wait, you're determined to get me arrested aren't you?" Jack chuckled.

"Did you see the look on that carriage driver's face?" Kate giggled.

"Yeah, that's why I gave him such a big tip." Jack huffed and loosened his hold on her while she rolled onto her stomach to face him.

"Let's get out, make us a bed in front of the fire." Kate suggested.

They moved out of the tub, dried off, put the resort provided robes on and made a comfortable pallet of pillows and blankets in front of the fireplace. They lay snuggled up together, no light in the room other than the fire and watched the snow falling outside, just enough light outside the windows to make the scene look like something that belonged on a Christmas card.

They talked about their immediate plans and their plans for the future and they tossed a few baby names around, her determined that the child she was carrying would be Jack Jr. if it was a boy and that it wasn't up for debate and him agreeing to that if he got to pick the name if it was a girl, knowing that he'd have some ideas, but would happily defer to anything Kate wanted because making her happy was all that mattered to him.

They made love again in front of the fire. It was raw and intense, the raunchy, sexy act she'd put on for him in the beginning something she found she enjoyed not only about their sex life, but about herself and he was certain he'd never find a reason to complain about the woman he loved more than his last breath being so completely uninhibited. Their sex life seemed to reach new highs every time they came together and their love for one another seemed to grow deeper and deeper both in and out of the bedroom.

It was her this time that lay quietly watching his chest rise and fall, his body and his mind completely sedated. As she watched him sleep she wondered how any woman could have treated him as badly as his wife had, how any parent could not have loved him so much they wanted to spend every waking moment with him. She decided in that moment to stop looking for and dreading the moment when the real Jack Shephard would appear, that she had been experiencing the real him, the him that was so special in spite of those that had let him down on such a deep, emotional level. She also decided in that moment that she owed a great deal of thanks to those who were too cold or emotionally stunted to appreciate Jack because if not for those people she wouldn't have the pleasure of knowing such an intense lover, such a special friend and someone she was sure was going to be a wonderful father.

She kissed him gently and snuggled up next to him, his arm instinctively wrapping around her. She pulled a blanket over them and kissed his chest softly.

"I will never treat you like anything less than the gift that you are Jack Shephard." She said softly, closing her eyes and finding sleep quickly.


	21. Chapter 21

She sat beside him at the obnoxiously large dining room table, enough seating for twenty people making their small party of four feel like it was being swallowed up by the expanse of the room and the table that sat in the middle of it.

"So what do you do for a living a Kate." Margo Shephard asked.

She wasn't sure if she felt his hand squeeze her hand first or if she heard the question first, but was surprised at how comforting the gesture was and she smiled confidently.

"I'm a real estate broker. I work for Stanton & Harbrough." Kate answered.

"Impressive. They represent some marvelous estates. Perhaps you could convince my son to look at some of them." Margo suggested.

Jack shot his mother a look and then a similar look toward his father.

"I've been curious myself about what the inside of some of those homes must look like, I bet you've seen some interesting things." Christian offered.

"I have and the decorating tastes can range anywhere from breathtaking to amusing to disturbing." Kate offered making both men laugh lightly.

"Sometimes we are over-critical of what we simply do not understand." Margo suggested in a haughty tone.

"That's true, but I like to believe that my degrees in interior design and art give me a better understanding than some. I've seen some beautiful homes turned into complete disasters because the owners didn't seem to understand that being wealthy doesn't necessarily equal good taste. Your home is lovely by the way, did you decorate it yourself?" Kate asked, her ability to hold her own with Margo making both Jack and Christian smile.

"Thank you and yes, most of the rooms were my ideas brought to life by professionals. Would you like a quick tour while we're waiting on dessert?" Margo asked the sharp bite that had been in her tone now gone.

"I'd love one." Kate agreed giving Jack's hand a quick squeeze.

Jack watched tentatively as his mother led Kate out of the room. He knew his parents were anything but easy to please and was used to it, but hated subjecting people he cared about to their constant condescension, having put this dinner party off until he no longer could. Kate's due date was nearing and while Jack hadn't been hiding the fact that they were having a baby and planned to marry, he also hadn't bothered to introduce Kate to either one of his parents until this night.

"She's beautiful son. When is the baby due?" Christian asked.

"About 7 weeks." Jack answered.

"Scared?" Christian asked.

"Were you?" Jack shot back feeling defensive all of the sudden.

"No, but I should've been terrified. Maybe if I'd taken being a father more seriously I wouldn't have been so awful at it. Do you know what the sex is?" Christian asked.

"It's a boy. They diagnosed oligohydramnios about 10 days ago so we're doing ultrasounds once a week and kick counts." Jack said.

"This isn't my specialty son, so refresh my memory, that's when the amniotic fluid is low right?" Christian asked.

"Yeah, but so far he's fine, she isn't losing any fluid and he's growing so he might have to come a few weeks early, but hopefully they'll both be fine. She's having another ultrasound tomorrow." Jack explained his tone quiet and distant.

"Why wouldn't you tell me you were dealing with something like this?" Christian asked.

"It's fine dad, we're fine. You'll be there tomorrow right?" Jack asked.

"Five o'clock right?" Christian asked.

"Right and you'll convince mom to come with you?" Jack asked.

"She'll be there." Christian assured him, noticing how stressed he seemed to be.

"I wonder if I should go rescue Kate." Jack mumbled.

"I'm sure she's fine. How is Sarah?" Christian asked.

"About like you'd expect, sad, depressed and very angry with me." Jack shrugged.

"And you're okay with that, being the bad guy I mean?" Christian asked.

"If being angry with me helps her get through the day I can live with it." Jack said softly.

"You didn't make her unhappy Jack." Christian argued, hating the way his son always refused to assign blame, but instead chose to blame himself.

"Maybe it's not all on me dad, but I accept my share of the responsibility for the marriage falling apart. I don't think she'll ever forgive me for not being there for her after the surgery. That was selfish on my part, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat and have no regrets so don't worry, I'm not beating myself up over Sarah, it would just make me happy to know that she's happy." Jack said.

Meanwhile…..Kate and Margo are in the formal living room. Margo is describing the various pictures of artwork hanging on the walls and Kate is studying the picture in the sterling silver frame of a young, adorable boy wearing a suit jacket and tie.

"Oh my gosh, is this Jack?" Kate asked.

"Yes, that picture was taken the day of his first piano recital. He was six." Margo told her and smiled.

"I bet he was cute sitting behind a big piano. Could he really play at such a young age?" Kate asked.

"He was the most handsome little boy in the recital. Jack excelled at everything he did so he was naturally leaps and bounds ahead of all the other six year olds that day." Margo said, brushing her hand fondly over the picture frame before leading Kate out of the room.

"So have you and Jack decided on a school for the baby yet?" Margo asked.

"School? We're still arguing over whether or not I should breast feed." Kate laughed lightly.

"He's a doctor Kate, and will naturally push for breast feeding, but don't let him bully you." Margo suggested.

"He's not, he would never bully me. He's just stating his case for why it's better for the baby." Kate told her.

"Of course he is; he is his father's son and Christian always knew what was best for Jack. You do what you feel comfortable with Kate; it's not Jack's decision to make." Margo argued.

Kate felt a slight shudder run through her. The woman could be as cold as any person she'd ever encountered, yet she'd seen the look on her face and in her eyes when she moved her hand over the picture of six year old Jack and she couldn't help but wonder what had happened, the distance between them painfully obvious.

"So you and Jack are close?" Kate pried as they stopped in the foyer to admire the open ceiling and the chandelier that hung in the middle of it.

"Do we appear to be close Kate? Nice try, but some family skeletons are best left in the closet." Margo told her and led her back into the dining room.

Kate didn't push the issue, deciding that when Jack was ready he would share the reasons for why he and his mother barely had a relationship. They finished their dinner and Jack quickly made an excuse for why they had to leave. The long spiraling drive out of the affluent neighborhood was quiet. He seemed to be almost brooding or maybe he was just tired, she couldn't be sure.

"Your parents are nice Jack." She offered in an attempt to break the silence.

"No they aren't." Jack laughed lightly, looking over at her and giving her a look that told her he was okay.

"You're father is absolutely charming Jack." Kate argued.

"That he is Kate, the ladies love the old man." Jack sighed and she began to understand the situation. She lifted the center console and scooted closer to him, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

"Well this lady loves the old man's son and plans on keeping him up past his bedtime." Kate said sweetly, moving her hand over the front of his pants.

He gently took hold of her hand and brought it up to his face, kissing the knuckles gently and then placing it back in her own lap.

"I love you babe and I'm all for being kept up later, but we're getting on the highway and I'd feel a lot better if you'd scoot back over there and put your seatbelt on." He said softly.

"Jack, if the baby were in real danger you'd tell me wouldn't you?" She asked as she hooked the seatbelt around her.

"Kate, he is in real danger, but as long as we keep a close watch, it'll be okay. How is he tonight? Has he been kicking much?" Jack asked placing his large hand over her extended stomach.

"Like a soccer player. Here, you count." She said and moved his hand to the area where he was kicking her.

She loved to watch his face light up when the tiny foot tried to kick its way out of her abdomen, his happiness genuine and his amazement heartwarming considering that he was a doctor who should've gotten over the miracle of pregnancy a long time ago.

"I can't wait to meet him." Jack said, his hand still covering the spot on her stomach where his son was actively moving around.

"Me either, I hope he doesn't hate me." Kate said.

"He'll love you as much as I do." Jack assured her.

"Even if I refuse to breast feed him?" She asked making him chuckle.

"Look Kate, I know I've been pretty opinionated about what you should do with **your** breasts, but if he comes early and the odds say he will, he's going to need every advantage he can get for the first few weeks, but after that he'll do just fine on formula if you find that you aren't comfortable with it." Jack offered.

"What kind of mother isn't comfortable with breast feeding?" She sighed

"Probably lots of mothers and if he manages to make it to 40 weeks, it will be a moot point because he'll be a robust 8 or 9 pound baby instead of a delicate 4 or 5 pound preemie." Jack reasoned with her.

"Of course I'll do whatever it takes to make him stronger if that's the case and if my milk is what it takes then we'll just make sure he gets as much of it as he wants. They sell those little milking machines right? We could do that." Kate said.

"Milking machine?" Jack laughed.

"Well that's pretty much what it is. I know I'm being unreasonable about this Jack, but I love our sex life, love having your hands and your mouth on my breasts and I want my breasts to remain a sexual part of my body and our sex life. I can't speak for all women, but I know that I can't do that if I've got a sweet baby latched onto my nipple. Tell me you understand." Kate said.

"Kate, I couldn't begin to understand what you and your body are going through, but I'll be supportive of whatever you want to do, I'll even help you pick out the milking machine." Jack told her, shooting her a grin that she was sure he didn't intend to be sexy, but it was and her appetite for him showed no signs of decreasing.

"You're just being agreeable because you know you're going to get laid." Kate teased.

"No, I'm being agreeable because I love you and want you to be happy." He told her.

She unfastened her seatbelt, scooted over and kissed him on the cheek.

"I am happy Jack, as happy as I've been in my life. You know Jack, this baby is coming very soon and we don't even have a crib." Kate reminded him.

"I know and we'll go shopping this weekend, I promise." He said as he pulled the car into the driveway of the town home they still shared.

They entered the house. He closed and locked the door and the deadbolt and headed toward the kitchen. She grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked, snaking her arms around his waist and pulling him close.

"I'm thirsty, I'm getting a beer. Want something?" He asked.

"Yes, I want you, upstairs and naked, now." Kate told him offering a fake pout that made him laugh and kiss her softly.

"We were almost late for dinner because you attacked me in the shower and now you expect me to perform in a dehydrated state. I'm starting to feel like your sex toy Kate." He told her and kissed her again.

"Are you complaining?" She asked and turned to walk up the stairs.

"Oh hell no, but I really am thirsty. I'll be up in a second." He told her and swatted her bottom gently.

"Bring me a juice will you?" She asked and began climbing the stairs.

He entered the bedroom with a half empty bottle of beer and small plastic container of apple juice. He handed her the juice, set his beer on the nightstand table beside the bed and sat on the bed, kicking his shoes off and then laying back, inviting her to join him. She curled up beside him and relaxed into his warm body, a feeling of warmth and security she was sure she'd never grow tired of. She let her arm drape over his stomach and yawned.

"Sleepy?" He asked.

"Mmm, a little." She said.

"Was my mom nice to you?" Jack asked.

"She was okay. I saw that picture of you on the piano. You were an adorable child." Kate said.

"I've spent my whole life looking at that picture, but I don't remember when it was taken or playing in a piano recital or participating in anything that my parents actually attended. I don't remember much before the age of 8 when I woke up in a hospital confused." Jack reminisced.

"What happened to you?" Kate asked.

"They said it was a car accident. I had some broken bones and a pretty serious head injury. I had been in a coma for almost two weeks and when I woke up I couldn't remember anything before the car accident. I don't even remember the accident. There's this chunk of my life missing that I've decided I'll never get back" Jack explained.

"What did they say when you asked about it, the accident I mean, did they try to help you remember?" Kate asked.

"No, my mom always changed the subject immediately and my dad would just tell me to let it go." Jack sighed.

"And that's acceptable to you?" Kate asked.

"You don't know my parents Kate. It doesn't matter what I think is acceptable, if they don't want to elaborate, they won't so there's no sense pushing the issue." Jack said.

"But Jack, your mom..." Kate started to argue, cut off by him rolling her onto her back and kissing her.

"I can't be expected to talk about my parents and be in the mood for sex, so what's it gonna be baby, more talk or some lovin?" He asked in a sweet sexy tone.

She'd been with Jack long enough to know when it was time to stop pushing so she smiled and pulled him in for another kiss, a deeper, more passionate kiss that pulled him closer, his body now draped over hers. He slipped his hand underneath the nightgown she was wearing, finding no panties and smiling before hungrily deepening the kiss some more.

He pulled himself away from her long enough to remove his clothes, the way she watched him the entire time making him briefly long for the days when he could plunge into her and fuck her senseless. He moved back onto the bed with her and steadied her while she straddled him, their sex life consisting of getting right to the act and then taking it slow and easy, but it was still them, still madly in love with one another and enjoying one another as much as he could stand. She'd mount him twice an hour all day long if it were possible, her already healthy sex drive heightened by the pregnancy and close to wearing him out some days.

They both moaned at the connection as if it'd been weeks instead of hours since they'd made love and they began slowly rocking, her rotating over his hips and him slowly thrusting upward, holding onto her hips to keep them in rhythm. These days her first orgasm typically came very quickly, always followed by at least one more before he could get to the place he needed to be in order to join her. Tonight was no different, her panting already starting, her mouth making that O-shape as her pussy, always so hot, wet and hungry for him closed tightly around him as she threw her head back, chanting his name over and over. He could lay beneath her and watch this particular show for the rest of his life, getting to hear his name called out in a manner that suggested he alone was responsible for the pleasure she was experiencing, sometimes followed by profanity that should probably never slip through the lips of such sweet, beautiful creature making the fact that she was currently chanting "fuck Jack, oh fuck" incredibly hot, his cock seeming to grow and tremor inside of her in reaction to it.

They continued to move together, slow and sensual, but intense, so hungry for one another, it was if they could never hope to be fully satisfied, but only temporarily soothed. Their sex life had calmed to accommodate the growing baby, but the passion they had for one another remained as strong as ever. She began moaning and panting above him again, the third orgasm since connecting with him, bringing him over the edge with her, her walls squeezing around him, milking him dry and then finally relaxing, sharing a passionate kiss and then separating. She took her normal position beside him, squirming and scooting around until she was finally comfortable. Her pregnant belly resting comfortably against his side and sleep feeling like it would come easy. She felt him chuckle and opened her eyes.

"You can feel it too huh?" She giggled.

"Yeah, I think he's pissed at us for jostling him around." Jack teased.

"Wow, he's doing summersaults in there. I've counted at least 12 kicks already and it's starting to get a little uncomfortable. Do you think you could do that thing you do and see if he'll settle down?" She asked.

He unwrapped his arm from around her and scooted down. She lay back and relaxed, feeling his large hand rubbing soothing circles over her extended abdomen. She could feel his breath on her skin as he spoke softly to the baby in her womb, always in just a whisper so that she couldn't hear. Two or three minutes later the baby had settled down and he moved back up and wrapped his arm around her.

"That's amazing." She said.

"Let's hope it'll be that easy once he's out." He said with just a hint of nervousness.

"What do you say to him?" Kate asked.

"It's a secret." He teased.

"We don't keep secrets from each other." She reminded him.

"Good night Kate." He mumbled.

"You're really not going to tell me are you?" Kate asked.

"Nope." He said sleepily.

She decided it wasn't a big deal and snuggled in closer to him.

"Nite Jack." She said.


	22. Chapter 22

When she awoke the next morning he was already gone. She vaguely remembered being told he'd pick her up at her office to go with her for the ultrasound and being kissed goodbye, but that felt like it was hours ago. She glanced at the clock and sat up quickly. It was almost noon. She'd missed her 11 AM closing. She called her office immediately, feeling like she couldn't apologize enough. They were understanding and suggested she just take the rest of the day off. She left Jack a text message which he followed up on with a phone call almost immediately, her personal live-in mother hen on 24-hour alert. She had to admit that she was scared enough about her current condition to not mind his mother-hen routine; in fact she found it extremely comforting. He teased her about her wearing him out the night before and then being the one to sleep in and then promised he wouldn't be late picking her up.

Jack sat beside the exam table holding Kate's hand while watching the images of his son begin to appear on the monitor on the other side of the exam table. He was surprised at how different the view was from the seat of the concerned expectant father instead of the clinical unattached physician.

"How are you feeling Kate?" The doctor asked.

"I'm really tired today." Kate admitted.

"Well, being pregnant can be tiring, especially in the last few weeks." She said.

"Is he okay?" Kate asked.

"He's fine, but we need to discuss bringing this little boy into the world early. I really don't like how low the fluid is Kate and the more he grows the more dangerous it becomes for him." She explained.

"How early?" Jack asked.

"She's between 33 and 34 weeks right now. I would like to try to get the baby to 36 weeks 37 if we're lucky, and go ahead and induce." The doctor said.

"So we could have a baby in two weeks?" Kate asked startled by how quickly things were moving.

"I want to shoot for three weeks, but you both should be prepared for the fact that he could be coming any time. I want to see you every other day from here on out." The doctor said.

"You're scaring me." Kate said, squeezing Jack's hand tighter, wanting and needing the doctor in him to jump in and tell her that this other doctor was wrong and that everything would be okay, but he simply cupped her hand with both of his and offered a squeeze and a reassuring look.

"Kate, I don't want you to live the next three weeks scared and anxious, but I need you to be on full alert as far as the baby's movements are concerned. If he slows down considerably or if he stops moving for longer than what you feel is normal don't hesitate to get to the hospital and I'll meet you there. I don't care if we suffer 20 false alarms in the process. Okay?" The doctor said.

"But as long as he hasn't stopped moving we're okay?" Kate asked.

"Yes, so if there is something the two of you have come up with that gets him moving around I'd suggest you keep doing it." The doctor said.

Kate and Jack looked at each other and smiled, trying not to laugh.

They walked hand in hand out of the medical facility and to their car. Kate barely had her seat belt on when her cell phone began ringing. Jack sat quietly and listened to her side of the conversation.

"_Yes, I've got the keys to the lock box for the Hamilton house why?"_

"_Now, they want to see it now?"_

"_I'm really tired Angela, can't someone else do it?"_

"_I appreciate that, but what are the odds these people are serious?"_

"_Fine, tell them I'll be there at 5 PM sharp."_

Kate closed her phone and dropped it back into her purse, sighing heavily and leaning her head back.

"It's 4:15 Kate, where am I taking you to show a house?" Jack asked.

"I'm sorry Jack and this is the last thing I feel like doing. I'm tired and I'm so hungry I feel like I might be sick." Kate said.

"It's fine, I don't mind. How about a cold, thick milk shake to tide you over?" He suggested pointing at the fast food restaurant across the street.

"You really shouldn't indulge my love of frozen dairy products, I'm going to get fat." Kate said with a smile that told him she'd love a milkshake.

With a large vanilla shake in hand, Kate gave Jack the address to the house and relaxed back into the seat, taking a few drinks from the frozen treat before handing it to him and closing her eyes.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm just really tired Jack. With the traffic this time of day, it'll take us about a half hour to get there; maybe I can catch a quick nap on the way." She told him, shooting a sweet smile and tired eyes at him.

He nodded, put the shake in the cup holder and watched her drift off to sleep while he sat through the longest stop light in the area only to almost make it through and have it turn red again. He cursed under his breath and looked over at her, wondering if maybe it was time for her to consider going on maternity leave and hoping that maybe after tonight she would want to just stay home for awhile.

He pulled into the driveway of the large home and smiled. This home was located in the same affluent neighborhood where they'd had their naughty little tryst, their second date if it could be called that. He shook her gently and as soon as she was awake and alert enough to do her job he moved to the passenger side of the car, opened the door for her and helped her out.

"I don't see any cars. I swear if these people aren't here by 5:30 I'm leaving." She groaned.

"Relax Kate, it's just now five o'clock, maybe they're stuck in traffic." Jack offered knowing very well that nobody was stuck in traffic because there were no potential buyers coming to see the home.

After some sleuthing on his part and with a lot of help from her co-workers, he determined that this home was the home that Kate had been in love with for quite awhile. It had nearly sold on three separate occasions, the buyers either not qualifying or backing out at the last minute. She'd grown attached to it, and knew it inside and out. With the help of his father and the family fortune he'd spent his entire adult life ignoring, Jack bought it, the process taking longer than he'd anticipated, but everything finally done. Kate's friends and co-workers were inside waiting for them, a surprise baby shower ready to be sprung on her. It had killed him to keep it a secret for so long, having to keep putting off shopping for baby things and now he was worried that she wasn't feeling well enough to enjoy it.

He looked around and wondered where everyone had parked their cars, shrugged and escorted her up the long sidewalk to the front door. He stood back and let her unlock everything and then grabbed her wrist as she started to open the door. She turned to look at him and he leaned in and kissed her, hugging her tightly and kissing her again, pulling back enough to look at her.

"Jack, what's……?" She asked, confused by the seemingly odd timing of his affection.

"This was delivered to my office." Jack said, handing her an envelope.

"What is it?" She asked.

"My divorce, it's final. We can get married tomorrow if you want." He told her his voice as soft and sweet as the look in eyes.

She couldn't speak, the day she'd dreamed of, but wasn't sure would ever arrive was here, but why was he telling her this now. She looked up at him, confused and curious.

"I think this is the part where I'm supposed to carry you over the threshold." Jack said softly, a shy grin spreading across his face.

"What are you talking about Jack?" Kate asked beginning to understand what was going on and feeling a large lump form in her throat.

"We're home baby." Jack said, kissing her once more before gently lifting her into his arms and stepping into the house with her.

He shoved the door closed with his foot and attempted to set her down, but she tightened the hold she had on him, her arms wrapped over the top of his shoulders, face buried in the side of his neck, crying and talking softly to him. He looked across the room at the large group of people she hadn't noticed yet and signaled for them to be quiet.

"I can't believe you did this Jack. I don't deserve this." She cried.

"Yes you do, we both do. You don't like it?" He asked.

"I love it. I've loved this house since it went on the market." She said.

"Yeah, I liked it too as soon as I saw it." He said as tried to get her to look at him.

"It's too much Jack." She said, finally lifting her head and looking at him, still not noticing the audience they had.

"No, it's not. It'll never be enough because you are that great, end of discussion." He told her and kissed her softly before setting her down.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"I love you more than you'll ever know Jack." She said.

"Could you hold onto that thought when you turn around and realize that a very large group of your friends and co-workers have been watching us since we came through the door?" He said in sweet, teasing manner.

"What?" Kate asked and turned around, allowing him to snake his arms around her so she could relax into him.

"Surprise!" They yelled in unison.

Kate took in the view and began crying again. The large room was decorated from floor to ceiling with blue and white streamers and balloons and various baby themed decorations. There was a long table filled with food and drinks, another table piled with gifts and there were chairs set up all over the room. Kate's boss, an older man in his 50s, approached her.

"These things are traditionally for women, but I wanted to present this to you in person." He said and handed Kate an evelope.

"What is it?" Kate asked.

"It's the deed to your new home Kate, along with a check for one year's salary." He said.

"One year's…….why?" Kate asked.

"Because starting tomorrow you are officially on maternity leave." He said.

"You're firing me? I'm sorry I missed the closing this morning I was…….." She began to ramble.

"No, no dear, we're simply giving you the option of spending the first year with your baby. If you don't want to do that just use the money for his college fund, but if you decide you need that time to be with your baby and you want to come back there will be a position for you." He said.

"I don't know what to say." Kate said.

"Say you'll take him up on his offer and then say thank you." Jack whispered into her ear, making her smile.

"Thank you Mr. Stanton." Kate told him, pulling away from Jack and giving the man a hug and allowing him to escort her into the room where all of her friends were gathered, surprised to find Jack's parents among the group.

She mingled among her friends for awhile, not taking time to eat as they hurried her along, showering her with so many gifts Jack had to take on the task of opening them when she became too tired to deal with it any longer. With the gift opening out of the way, the cake was served and while Kate mingled some more Jack began stacking the gifts neatly in one corner of the room, amazed that all of it was for just one baby.

Christian approached Kate, took hold of her hand, kissed the top of it and then put his arm around her.

"Margo and I would like to show you something." Christian spoke softly to her.

Kate looked toward Jack and he nodded to indicate that he'd be right there.

"Don't worry about him, he's already seen what we want to show you." Christian said in a light hearted tone.

"Well then lead the way I guess." Kate said suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable and wishing Jack would come rescue her.

Jack could see how uncomfortable she was and made his way across the room quickly, nudging his father out of the way and taking his position by her side, feeling her relax into him, the absolute trust she had in him blowing him away for a moment.

They followed Christian and Margo down a hallway and into one of the bedrooms. Kate stopped and turned to bury her face in Jack's chest.

"Just give her a minute. I think this is all too much at once." Jack said.

Margo approached them and put a comforting hand on Kate's back, making genuine, warm eye contact with her son for a moment before refocusing her attention on Kate.

"I hope we didn't upset you Kate, it's our first grandchild and we wanted to do this. If you don't like the furniture you can send it back and pick out what you want." Margo offered.

Kate turned around and wiped the tears from her face, feeling very tired and overwhelmed, but also grateful, the furnished nursery as wonderful and perfect as anything she would've picked out herself.

"No, it's beautiful, perfect, thank you. I'm just……..I've never……I mean a house, a baby shower, a room full of furniture………it's all so nice and saying thank you isn't enough and I should be so excited and happy, but what if something bad happens, what if I can't keep him inside me for another three weeks, what if………." Kate said and began sobbing, turning and burying her face in Jack's chest again, the day and the fear over the baby's condition finally taking its toll on her.

"What is she talking about Jack?" Margo asked, her tone accusatory.

"Let's leave them alone Margo and I'll explain." Christian told her and escorted her out of the room.

Jack stood in the middle of the room full of baby furniture, holding her close and rubbing his hands over her back. He moved over to the rocking chair that was part of the décor and sat down, pulling her down into his lap and wrapping his arms around her as she let the side of her head rest on his shoulder.

"He's going to be okay Kate." Jack said softly.

"Do you really believe that?" She asked.

"Yes, I do. He'd probably be okay if he were born tonight, he'd just be really small and probably have some breathing issues. We just need to make sure he hasn't stopped moving and we know how to get him riled up. Right?" He teased trying to help her relax.

"Yeah, we do, but I think I'm too tired to even think about that and that makes me sad. Do you think this party is almost over?" She asked.

"I think if I put you to bed that will pretty much be the end of it." He told her.

"We don't have a bed." She said snuggling in closer, relaxing her whole body into him.

"Yes we do and it's the canopy bed you've been wanting, minus the canopies, but it's got mattresses and sheets and blankets and pillows." Jack told her.

"You had a bed delivered? Why would you do that?" She giggled.

"Because I wanted us to stay here tonight and every night after that." He said.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because we're finally home Kate, we're finally where we've wanted to be since the night we met in that bar. All that's left to do is bring this little guy into the world and plan a wedding." He said.

"It's official." She said as she lifted her head and kissed him softly.

"What's that?" He asked with a light laugh.

"You are officially the sweetest man in the world, but I have to ask this Jack and please don't take it the wrong way." Kate warned.

"What?" He asked.

"You aren't going to get me and your namesake tucked away safely in your palace and then go off and have a life without us are you?" Kate asked.

He thought about being hurt by the question for a moment, but then he realized how things must look from her point of view, especially after seeing his parents together and the palace they shared without seeming to share anything meaningful.

"There is no life without you Kate and you're the one who is stuck on naming this poor, sweet, innocent baby "Jack". It's not some ego thing with me. I wanted to name him Cameron or Miles or Bud, anything but Jack." Jack complained in a teasing fashion.

"Bud?" Kate laughed.

"Just seeing if you were paying attention, come on, I'll show you the bed where Jack Jr's brothers and sisters are going to be conceived and while you're resting, I'll see all of our guests out." He said.

"Jack, I can't just go to bed with all these people here, especially since they came here for me." She argued.

"Kate, you're exhausted and they will understand. Come on, you'll love it." Jack said and helped her slide off his lap.

They walked to the end of the hallway to the master suite that was empty except for the large, beautiful canopy bed sitting in the middle of the room. She could already picture the two of them in the middle of it, naked and enjoying one another with the canopies drawn around them. It was corny and the thing cheesy romance novels are made of, but she loved the idea of having him in their own private, sensual enclosed space. She turned to face him and grinned, running her fingers up and down the front of his shirt. He watched her for a moment, knowing exactly what was on her mind and finally took hold of her roaming hands, chuckling lightly.

"I thought you were too tired to think about sex." He accused.

"I was until I saw this bed and started imaging how things are going to be." She told him, leaning closer, kissing him and rubbing against him.

"Kate, we have a house full of people, we can't just close the door and have sex." He laughed and peeled her off of him.

"Well if you want to leave it open so they can all watch that's okay, but we are going to make love Jack, and we're going to do it right now and you know it so why go through the motions of trying to object." She giggled.

She was right and he knew it, his cock already on the rise, the site of the bed and her hungry eyes looking at him more than he could ever hope to resist. He closed the door, locked it and led her over to the bed. He pushed the hair away from her face and kissed her softly, gently, lovingly.

"I love you so much and we are going to live happily ever after, I promise." He told her closing his mouth over hers again.

They slowly undressed one another, hungry for each other, but not desperate, both just needing to enjoy the other, needing to stop worrying about their unborn child and focus on something good and this, loving each other both physically and emotionally is something they were very good at.

She wanted him in her mouth, wanted to taste the preview of what was yet to come, wanted to feel him pulse and swell on her tongue, but most of all just wanted this to be all about him, the wonderful man who seemed to always be thinking about those he loves and never himself. She pushed him backward onto the bed, his legs danging over the edge at the knees. She positioned herself between his legs, standing beside the bed, seeing him start to object and silencing him by putting a shushing finger to her lips, before moving to the left some so that she was straddling one of his legs.

She let her fingers slowly glide up his thighs, cupping his balls gently, giving them a light squeeze while her other hand gripped his cock, pumping up and down slowly and then lowering herself, taking the head into her mouth and slowly and sensually sucking while allowing more and more of him to sink in until she felt his tip hit the back of her throat, her tongue and her warm saliva enveloping his hardness making his eyes roll back into his head, unable to resist, unable to control what would happen next, unable to think or speak.

All he could do was feel and it felt so good he'd forget to breathe. She continued on, slow and steady and she felt him shudder and then she heard the noises that came from his mouth, but she swore originated some place deep within his gut and then she began to taste him and she opened her mouth, pulling back and holding him just outside of her mouth so that every spurt would land on her tongue while she pumped every last drop out of him. When he was done she licked away any cum that managed to drip down his shaft and she continued to roll her tongue around him until he softened again, letting him go and then crawling onto the bed beside him, kissing him and then laying her head on his chest.

"God Kate, you're going to kill me." He said softly, too weak to move much more than the hand that was moving up and down her arm.

"So you'll die with a smile on your face and I'll be a rich widow." She teased making him chuckle lightly.

"How about you move up onto the pillows and relax and let me take care of you now." He suggested.

"No, I'm good. Your leg was in the perfect position or did you not notice?" She giggled.

"It's hard to notice much when a beautiful woman is giving you the ultimate blow job." He admitted.

"We should probably get dressed huh?" Kate suggested.

"No, you should go to bed and I'll get dressed." He said.

"I'm okay Jack. Let's just go tell our guests goodbye, find some food that you don't eat with your fingers and enjoy our first night in our home.

They pulled themselves out of the bed before one or both of them gave into the sleep their bodies were craving, dressed and rejoined the party.

Jack managed to get four days in a row away from the hospital and with the help of a moving company and some of their friends they got moved into their house. Kate and two of her girlfriends focused of all of their attention on the nursery, washing and folding all of the new baby clothes and blankets and putting them away, painting the walls a quiet, calming very pale shade of blue and then painting different murals on each wall, their son's name stenciled and then painted onto the wall above his crib the finishing touch.

Jack looked around the room and smiled. It was the perfect room for a little boy and the amount of detail Kate had put into all the different murals amazed him, never really having the chance to appreciate just how talented an artist she was until now and making him wonder why she chose real estate over what was apparently her real passion.

Their home needed lots of furniture and lots of decorating, but all of that would come in time. They had the family room furnished, their bedroom minus the canopies and the baby's room and that would do for now, their attention focused on the baby and how much longer he would be able to survive in Kate's womb. She had managed to carry him to just a couple of days short of 37 weeks at her last ultrasound and after weighing all of their options and the risks of trying to get him to week 38 they, along with her doctor agreed that Kate would check into the hospital in three days to have her labor induced.

Jack came home from work late. He was trying to clear his schedule so he could be with Kate and the baby for a few days and that meant putting in long hours. He entered the house and it was dark and quiet. He assumed Kate had gone to bed. He walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to grab a beer. He grabbed the note attached to the beer bottle _"Drink your beer and come to bed" _and laughed. He took a couple of long swigs from the bottle of beer and began walking toward the bedroom, loosening his tie along the way. He stopped in the doorway to their bedroom and took in the view.

She had bought canopies for the bed and was sleeping in the middle of the bed, the candles lit all over the room suggesting she had been trying to wait up for him and had lost the battle. She looked beautiful in the candle light behind the sheer covering of the canopies, her long brown hair flowing behind and above her head and her small, very pregnant body curled up on her left side, wearing a dark green satin nightgown. He watched her for a few minutes before undressing, blowing all the candles out and taking his place beside her on the bed. She stirred and opened her eyes, sleepy and confused. He lifted his arm above his head so she could snuggle in next to him, kissed her softly on the temple and watched her drift back into a deep sleep, her voracious appetite for sex having been replaced by a voracious appetite for sleep the last couple of weeks.

They moved around their bedroom dressing for the dinner party at his parent's house. He told her she didn't have to go, that he could explain that she wasn't up to it, but she insisted she felt fine and that she wanted to be there on his arm for this party that would include many of the hospitals surgeons and their spouses. His father was planning on announcing his intent to retire and intent to recommend Jack replace him as the new Chief of Surgery within the next two years. She knew it was important to Jack even though he tried to play it down.

She stayed by his side in the beginning, the room full of edcuated, accomplished physicians somewhat intimidating at first, but she found a comfort zone within the first hour and broke away from him, mingling with the other women and allowing his mother to act as if they were best friends who shared a common love...Jack.

Jack had spent over an hour trapped in a conversation where his father gloated about one of his great accomplishments and every other surgeon in the room kissed his ass while he did so. Jack was proud of his father and worked hard to emulate his success in a surgery suite, but he didn't share his father's philosophies when it it came to medicine and helping people so these surgeon cock measuring contests weren't his idea of stimulating conversation. He hadn't seen Kate in awhile and began to wonder what his mother had done with her.

"Dad, have you seen Kate?" Jack interrupted.

"She's with your mother." Christian answered.

"No she's not. Mom's right there." Jack said pointing toward the room where the women were gathered.

"I'm sure she's fine." Christain said.

"Yeah, um, excuse me." Jack said and pulled away from the group.

Jack walked past the women and into the foyer. He could hear a faint whimpering coming from one of the rooms down the hall and felt the panic set in immediately.

"Kate!" He called out getting the attention of everyone.

"Jack, I'm in here." He heard her call out to him.

He ran down the hall to the guest bedroom and there she was, lying on her side on the bed, knees pulled up and obviously in labor. He went to her and began moving his hands over her, slowly assessing the situation.

"Can you walk baby?" He asked.

"No, I can't move Jack. He's coming, I can feel it." Kate told him wincing against a contraction, the beads of sweat on her forehead telling him how badly she was hurting and he suspected she was in the final stages of labor.

Jack turned to find his mother in the doorway.

"Mom, call an ambulance and get me some towels or sheets or both." Jack spoke quickly and precisely, but calmly.

She disappeared and he returned his attention to Kate.

"I'm going to take a look now so I need you roll onto your back and try to relax baby. Can you do that for me?" Jack spoke to her in a calm, soothing tone.

He helped her get comfortable in the bed, propping pillows up behind her shoulders and head. He let the hem of her dress fall back and pulled her panties off of her. She screamed out in pain and clutched the bottom of her stomach. He took hold of her hand and let her squeeze until the contraction was over. He didn't need to examine her, he could see the top of the baby's head appear during the contraction.

"Okay then, I guess I'm going to deliver our son. Mom!" Jack yelled, growing impatient.

His mother entered the room with towels, sheets, Christian and half the dinner party guests. Jack grabbed one of the sheets and covered her hips and legs.

"Can you please get them out of here?" Jack grumbled giving Kate his hand again as another hard contraction hit.

"God Jack it hurts so much, can I push?" Kate pleaded.

"Yes, but not yet. When the next contraction hits I want you to take a deep breath, hold it and push." Jack told her.

Christian moved to the side of the bed and took hold of Kate's hand.

"You're going to need both of your hands to deliver this baby." He told Jack.

Christian could feel her grip on his hand tightening and helped her sit up.

"That's it, push Kate." Jack coached watching his son's head emerge, hoping he could get the baby delivered without too much wear and tear on her.

They carried on with the pushing with little success until the paramedics showed up. The baby's head couldn't push through and she was backing off when she'd feel him start to tear her.

"I need local anesthia and scissors." Jack barked at them.

The paramedic brought Jack the anesthia and scissors he asked for. He injected Kate with the anesthia, let her breathe through another contraction and then began cutting, making room for the baby's head to slip out easily.

"Okay Kate, let's get the head delivered, come no babe, one good push." Jack told her.

Christian sat her up again and she pushed, the relief of being numb and no longer stretching and tearing making all the difference and she felt his head slip out.

"Okay, stop." Jack told her.

He cleared the baby's nose and throat and encouraged Kate to push again, delivering the shoudlers and one final push sent the rest of him sliding out. He thumped the bottoms of his feet a couple of times and 

the baby let go of his first cries. The paramedics placed a sterile sheet over Kate's chest and abodemen and Jack held the baby up in front of her.

"There he is babe, big and strong and pissed off at me." Jack told her, the physician in him nearly gone, replaced by an excited father.

Kate reached out to touch his feet.

"He's perfect." She said happily.

The paramedic cut the cord and clamped it and Jack handed the baby to his father.

"Say hello to your grandson and then if you wouldn't mind wrapping him up in that sheet and giving him to his mom I'd appreciate it." Jack said moving back down to finish up with Kate.

Christian wrapped the baby snugly in the sheet and placed him in Kate's arms. She kissed him softly and closed her eyes, tired and relieved and ready to rest.

He stood in front of the glass watching him, his perfect little 7-1/2 pound body squirming, little feet kicking and his lungs getting a work out, crying just to be crying, his stomach full and his diaper dry and his body freshly bathed. He felt a presence behind him and turned around, shocked to see her standing there.

"Congratulations grandpa." Sarah said.

Christian kissed her on the cheek and forced a half smile.

"How are you Sarah?" He asked.

"Don't worry Christian, I'm not here to steal the baby." Sarah sighed.

"Why are you here?" Christian asked.

"I loved him once, can't I be happy for him?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know Sarah, can you?" Christian asked.

"You were never one to mince words." She said with a sad laugh.

"You shouldn't be here." Christian advised.

"That could've been our son, no it should've been our son." Sarah said bitterly.

"He's happy Sarah, as happy as I've ever know him to be." Christian told her.

"Yeah, so what's her secret?" Sarah asked.

"No secret, nothing mysterious or difficult. She just loves him Sarah, not what he is or what he could become, but just him. No matter how late he has to work or how late he makes them to planned outings or how distracted he gets with a difficult patient she never stops loving him." Christian explained.

"Yeah and what does she get in return?" Sarah asked.

"She gets exactly what you always got and never appreciated Sarah, unconditional love. He worships her and he's going to marry her so I'll say it again, you shouldn't be here Sarah." Christian said.

"Don't worry Christian, I'm not planning on sticking around. I just wanted to see what a baby of Jack's looks like, what I was I denied, what he never cared that he lost." Sarah said angrily.

"See Sarah, that is why you and my son were never meant to be together. " Christian said.

"What is?" Sarah asked.

"You dated him for nearly two years, you were married to him for a year, you should've been as intimate as two people could ever hope to be, yet you could stand here today and suggest that he could lose a child and it not affect him. That Sarah tells me that you never knew Jack at all and that is why you are standing on this side of the glass while another woman is down the hall curled up in a hospital bed with him." Christian explained, his tone passionate as he defended the one thing in his life he knew was special.

"Jack's here?" She asked.

"Yes, but he isn't going to know that you're here, because you are leaving." Christian said.

"You can't make me leave." She argued.

"Of course I can." He said.

"Fine, will you tell him I said congratulations?" Sarah asked.

"No, but I'll tell him I heard you accepted a new teaching job 3,000 miles away if I ever see you anywhere near my grandson again." He told her.

"Are you threatening me Christian?" She huffed.

"Now Sarah you should know by now that I'm not a man that makes threats, I do what I say I'll do." He told her, his voice never rising above it's normal tone and it sent chills down her spine.

She watched him walk away, took one last look at the baby and walked toward the elevator, more angry than sad, jealous that Kate was living her dream and not really sure if she could live with that.


	23. Chapter 23

Jack walked up the sidewalk to his home. He was home earlier than usual, his patient load down for some reason. He entered the home, closed the door and listened. The house was quiet so he began the process of checking each room looking for his family. He didn't have to look for very long, walking through the family room and into the dining room and finding the final stages of a dinner that smelled as wonderful as it looked being placed on the table. The baby was in his carrier on the end of the table, wide awake and staring at the colorful objects that were hanging above him. He was two months old and the last month had been trying, colic setting in and neither he or Kate being able to come up with anything that would soothe him. Jack looked at him, as quiet and content as he'd been in over a month and even though he wanted to pick him up, the idea of disturbing the first peace they'd know in so long kept him from doing so and he opted to pull the love of his life into his arms instead.

"How'd you manage that?" He asked and gestured toward the calm infant.

"I don't have a clue Jack, but he's only been like that for about the last hour so it's probably just the calm before the storm. We should try to enjoy a quiet dinner while we have a chance." She told him, kissing him softly and relaxing into him for a moment, her body language revealing how tired and frustrated she was.

"You should've used that hour to relax Kate. I would've brought dinner home." He told her.

"I'm sick of eating out." She sighed and pulled away from him.

He watched her move back into the kitchen, glanced over at the small package that had managed to turn their lives upside down lately and then back at her. She was exhausted and on the verge of tears when he'd wrapped his arms around her. He was just about to suggest she go lie down when baby Jack, without warning, began wailing again. She dropped the pan of food heavily onto the top of the stove and walked toward them. Jack stopped her and pulled her back into his arms.

"I'll take care of him. Go take some time for yourself, soak in a hot bath, go shopping, sleep, whatever you want." He offered.

"I can do it Jack!" She snapped.

"Of course you can, but you need a break and I haven't seen him all day so please, go and relax and let me deal with this round." He said.

She didn't argue anymore, she simply sighed and walked away, disappearing in the direction of their bedroom. Jack turned off the stove and the oven and then picked up the crying infant. He held him to his chest and began walking the floor with him, a routine the two of them had become accustomed to. The baby would calm down for a few minutes, long enough to recharge it seemed and then let loose again.

Three hours, a diaper change and a feeding later, Jack laid the sleeping infant in his crib, the cold untouched dinner Kate had prepared still sitting on the stove and table. His only appetite was for her and for sleep and he'd be the first to admit he couldn't tell you which he was craving the most these days. He took a quick shower and eased himself into the bed beside her, doing his best not to wake her. She felt him slipping under the blanket and sat up.

"Where's the baby?" She asked.

"Shh, it's okay. He's asleep." He told her, coaxing her back down until she let herself relax in his arms.

"What time is it?" Kate asked.

"It's a little after nine." He answered.

"Nine o'clock, we're in bed for the night and all either of us wants to do is sleep." She bemoaned.

"Well, we need to grab sleep when we can while he's like this." Jack reasoned.

"Jack, we've had sex once since the baby was born and that was a drive-by. I miss us." She sighed and yawned.

"I miss us too." He mumbled sleepily.

They were both asleep five minutes later, missing the intimacy between them, but too tired to do anything about it. She woke up a couple of hours later, tired and confused and alone. She switched on the lamp beside the bed and started to get up, but stopped when she heard Jack with the baby over the baby monitor.

_"Slow down big guy, nobody wants this stuff but you trust me. Years upon years of medical school and training and I can't help you feel better with anything I've learned so let's try some positive thinking. You're going to finish this bottle and sleep, you have to sleep son because mommy and daddy are going to go crazy if you don't."__  
_  
Kate could hear the baby drinking, always eager to eat, but always terribly unhappy and in pain afterward. She sat and listened until she was sure they were done, surprised at the silence and smiling at him when he walked back into the bedroom.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" He asked as he made himself comfortable in the bed again.

"I woke up and you were gone." She said, curling up next to him, placing light kisses on his chest.

He was exhausted, but the feel of her lips moving lightly over his chest was all it took to make him forget how tired he was and they began kissing hungrily, their hands tugging at the few clothes they did have on, her hand finding its way inside his boxers quickly, stroking him gently and moaning over how hard he was. He slipped his hand inside her panties and slid his fingers down her crease, finding her hole and sliding in easily, she as wet and ready for him as he was hard for her. He pulled her panties down and off and moved between her legs, putting his tip at her entrance and pushing in quickly, both of them nearly screaming at the connection. He brought his mouth down and began kissing her while he made her squirm and hum with deep, slow thrusts. Barely a minute into the act the baby started wailing and he stopped, dropping his face into the pillow in frustration.

"Fuck." He mumbled into the pillow.

"Let me up Jack." Kate said.

"I'll go." He argued as he pulled out of her, rolled onto his back and pulled his boxers back up.

"You've got surgery in the morning and need to sleep. I'll go." Kate insisted, slipping her panties back on and moving off the bed.

She was gone before he had a chance to object. He laid back and rubbed his hands over his eyes, listening to the baby cry through the monitor and listening to her trying desperately to calm him down. He had no idea what time the baby finally settled down, her taking the baby to a part of the house where he could no longer hear the crying and him finally giving in to the exhaustion and sleeping.

Christian Shephard watched his son move through the hallways of the hospital, looking tired and grumpy, managing to force a fake smile for his patients and for the parents of the teenager he'd just put back together, but then retreating back into his apparent misery. He stood back and watched him update the same chart three times and then take his frustration out on the nurse and decided it was time to butt in.

"Dr. Shephard can I see you in my office please?" Christian called from down the hall.

Jack knew he was about to be lectured and it was the last thing he wanted to hear, but he also knew he'd been a complete prick to the nurse and deserved whatever was coming. He entered his father's office and closed the door.

"Sit down Jack." Christian said.

"I'm really busy dad and I'll apologize to Valerie as soon as I leave here." Jack huffed, but then relented and dropped himself into the chair, leaning forward and cupping his hands over his face.

"Valerie will survive, I'm more concerned about you. What's going on Jack?" Christian asked.

"The baby has colic and I can't remember the last time I've had more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep. When I do sleep I keep having those dreams I told you about and wake up scared out of my mind and can't remember any of it. Kate's exhausted, I'm exhausted and there's no relief in sight." Jack explained.

"How long as this been going on, with the baby I mean?" Christian asked.

"You didn't notice how much he cried when we brought him by last Sunday?" Jack asked.

"I thought he was just having a bad day." Christian shrugged.

"He's been fussy since we brought him home, but it's escalated over the last month. I walked the floor with him for hours last night and he slept for about two hours and then I rocked him for a couple of hours and fed him again and he slept for about 10 minutes and Kate took over." Jack explained his voice revealing how tired and frustrated he was.

"Doesn't leave much time for you and Kate does it?" Christian asked.

"It doesn't leave much time, not to mention energy, for anything." Jack admitted.

"Tomorrow is Friday Jack. Why don't you let your mother and I keep the baby while you and Kate get away, reenergize and reconnect for the weekend." Christian offered.

"Thanks dad, but you have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into." Jack refused.

"I think I can handle a crying baby for a couple of days Jack." Christian argued.

"I'm on call this weekend." Jack said.

"I'm the boss and I say you aren't." Christian said.

"Kate would never go for it. She's already beating herself up, convinced she's a bad mother because her baby is so unhappy and lately she's convinced herself that she's neglecting me and beating herself up over that as well. If I suggest she admit defeat and run away with me for a weekend she's liable to snap or something." Jack explained.

"Sounds to me like she's going to snap if you don't put your foot down and very strongly advise her to take some time for herself." Christian countered.

"People do this all the time right? I mean most new parents don't run away over 12 pounds of crying insanity do they?" Jack asked revealing his own parenting insecurities.

"Jack, you're a doctor. If you had a patient with a baby with severe colic what would you suggest?" Christian asked.

Jack thought about it for a moment, knowing that his father was right, that a baby with colic can be extremely stressful, frustrating and exhausting and that the first thing any doctor tells a parent is that they have to take a break from it. Even if he couldn't see the benefit of taking a break for his own good, he knew Kate needed a break. She was with the baby and the crying 24/7 whereas he at least got to get away from the helpless feeling when he went to work.

"You're really offering to keep a crying baby all weekend?" Jack asked with a slight grin.

It took some pleading and arguing, but Jack finally managed to convince Kate that allowing his parents to keep the baby for the weekend wouldn't make them the world's worst parents. They dropped baby Jack off at his parents' home on Friday evening with a long list of dos and don'ts, climbed into their car and drove to Santa Barbara to a Luxury Bed & Breakfast they'd found online.

The Bed & Breakfast was a historic Victorian estate. Their room was quiet and intimate, with a large, inviting king-sized bed, a cozy wood burning fireplace and a private balcony. They stood just inside the door, having closed it and both too tired to consider their next move. He placed his hand on her back and escorted both of them over to the bed. They both sat and then fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling and not speaking or moving.

"Do you hear that?" Jack asked.

"I don't hear anything." Kate said.

"Exactly. I love our son Kate, but my father was right, we needed a break." Jack told her, rolling onto his side and propping himself up on his elbow, letting his fingers move lightly up and down her forearm.

"I know, but I miss him already Jack. He's going to think we just deserted him." Kate said sadly as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"No, no Kate, he won't. He'll be fine." Jack tried to reassure her.

"He can't help it if he feels bad and he needs us Jack. What if your parents just leave him all alone to cry." Kate rambled on, her sleep deprived brain and body an emotional mess and not being rational.

"Kate, they weren't the most attentive parents in the world, but they aren't monsters either and come on you've seen my mom with him, she probably won't put him down the whole weekend." Jack tried to calm her.

"I'm sorry Jack, I'm so tired and I'm a terrible mother." She cried.

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, wiping her tears away and kissing her softly.

"Yeah, you're such a terrible mother that all you can think about is him. Let's not do this baby. He is fine and he will be fine and if he isn't my parents will call us. It's kind of weird, but in a good way." Jack said.

"What's that?" Kate asked starting to calm down and relax.

"My mom, she's been more nurturing toward you and Mini-Me than I can ever remember her being toward me, but I'm glad she is. Of course it's no surprise that you would be the one that could melt the ice queen." Jack said sweetly.

"I doubt I had anything to do with it, maybe she's dealing with things we don't understand and this is her way of dealing while also making amends with you." Kate said.

"Maybe. So, what do you want to do? Would you like to soak in a hot bath or would you rather just crawl under this warm quilt and get the first good night's sleep we've had in two months?" Jack asked.

She looked into his face, his expression kind, caring and concerned, his eyes warm and loving and she remembered how much she'd missed looking into those eyes, how much she'd missed being held in his arms for hours on end, how much she'd missed lying in bed with him talking, and how much she'd missed loving him for hours on end.

"I've missed you." She said, placing her hand on his cheek and kissing him.

"Yeah, I've missed you too." He said, rolling her onto her back and kissing her back, feeling her arms snake around his shoulders and neck and deepen the kiss before finally pulling away and looking into his eyes.

"I want to focus on nothing but you tonight Jack so can we call your dad and check on the baby and I promise to put him out of my head for a few hours?" Kate asked.

Jack smiled and reached into his pants pocket for his cell phone.

"I doubt we'll ever be able to put him out of our heads Kate, I think that comes with the territory, but maybe if you can tell him goodnight you'll relax and get some much deserved sleep." Jack offered and began dialing the phone.

Christian played along and held the phone up to baby Jack's ear so they could tell him goodnight, assuring the anxious parents that the sound of their voices made the baby smile and that he was fine. He closed the phone and looked down at the cranky infant in his arms.

"Don't look at me like that; sometimes little white lies are necessary. Now, let's go see if your grandma has got your new and improved food ready." Christain talked softly to the infant who was fussing and squirming and hungrily sucking on a pacifier.

Margo finished preparing the small bottle of milk and looked at Christian holding their grandson, their beautiful grandson who looked so much like his father did at that age a large lump formed in her throat every time she looked at him and she wanted nothing more than to just hold him and never let him go.

"Are you sure about this, Jack's not going to like it." Margo said.

"If Jack comes home to a content baby that isn't crying 16 hours a day, he'll like it, trust me." Christian said.

"He looks so much like Jack did at that age." Margo comment, rubbing a finger gently over the baby's cheek.

"Yes and apparently he inherited his father's early intolerance for milk and formula. If your mother hadn't come up with that witch's brew to calm him down I don't think we would've survived it." Christian said.

"If I remember correctly you were dead set against feeding your son anything that wasn't FDA approved and I suspect Jack senior is going to be every bit as closed-minded about it as you were at first." Margo laughed and took the baby from him.

"He's exhausted Margo, so much so that I'm going to have to take him out of the surgical rotation if something doesn't give so hopefully this will work." Christian said.

"Is he still having the dreams?" Margo asked.

"Yes, but he says he can't remember what they're about. There's no doubt about what's happening though, he's starting to remember." Christian said his tone full of worry and regret.

"Why now?" She asked.

"Just guessing, I'd say it's probably the baby triggering it. We're going to have to tell him Margo." Christian pushed.

"Let's just wait, see if the dreams stop. He'll blame himself Christian and even worse, he'll convince himself that I blamed him and who knows maybe somewhere deep down inside I did, but things have been good between us lately and I don't want to ruin that so can we please just wait and see what happens?" Margo pleaded.

Christian nodded, not any more eager to dredge up a 30 year old tragedy than she was.

"Oh god Jack, don't stop, keep going, harder, fuck me like we haven't fucked in two months!" Kate cried out as she felt another orgasm begin to flood through her lower region.

Her pleas, her naughty, naughty pleas turned him on as much today as they did when he first met her, picking up his pace and driving her hips into the mattress so hard the bed began creaking and groaning against their efforts. He hadn't been able to be on top, take charge and fuck her like this the last couple of months of the pregnancy and they hadn't been able to resume anything that even remotely resembled a sex life since the baby was born so they were both pouring four months of need, desire and insane horniness into this one lovemaking session, the first of many that would occur over the weekend in-between lengthy naps, both of them were sure of that.

He didn't want to come yet, wanted and needed to make this last as long as possible and he pulled out, hearing her whimper at the separation, but then moaning again when his mouth latched onto one of her nipples while his hot body rubbed against hers, his cock hard as rock and pressed against her stomach, making her want him in her mouth. She squirmed away from his roaming mouth and hands, moving on top of him and making her intentions clear as she turned in the opposite direction, straddling him and ready to focus all of her attention on his throbbing member.

Her bottom and her dripping pussy were there, practically in his face, begging to be licked into orgasm, but he knew as soon as she started sucking his cock it would be over, he'd come so fast and hard it might choke her, but as horny as he was he felt relatively sure he could recharge quickly if he gave into it so he relaxed and closed his eyes, feeling her hot mouth begin to lick and gently suck his sensitive head.

"Shit, fuck, suck it hard, now, please." He demanded the tingling in his balls, the pressure, the insanely good feeling of her tongue licking him like a lollipop making the need to explode more than he could bear.

She did as he asked, feeling his hand gripping tightly to the sides of her thighs while he filled her mouth with his hot juices, panting and swearing as he did so and she smiled, loving that she could make him feel so good, all semblance of the kind, soft spoken gentleman disappearing and the animalistic lover coming through, demanding, but still remembering to say please. He was adorable and she couldn't imagine ever loving another human-being as much as she loved him.

Her engines were now revved up, her body and her mind forgetting how sleep deprived she was, focused only on how sex deprived she was, wanting and needing her lover to be in control and perhaps even a little rough and excite her the way that only he could. She turned around and slid up his stomach and chest, leaving a trail of sexy wetness all over him as she did so, the feeling of her hot pussy so hungry for him making him moan and open his eyes, his cock still semi-hard even though he felt like he'd just had the ultimate orgasm and should be ready to sleep.

"God Kate that was...tell me what you want baby." He said recognizing the fire in her eyes that always meant good things for him.

"I can feel your big hands on my ass Jack. Spank me and then fill my hole from behind with those long, talented fingers." She purred, her hands on his shoulders, holding herself above his face while his mouth licked and sucked the glistening trail of sweat that covered her stomach.

She felt him swat her bottom and nearly came, swearing, panting and demanding he spank her harder, moving up and grabbing the headboard, straddling his face, his tongue and lips immediately going to work on her swollen clit. He continued to suck and spank, driving her crazy, making her come and demanding he keep going, screaming out in pleasure when he stopped spanking her and pushed two fingers deep inside from behind, his mouth never losing contact with the highly sensitive area, holding her hips down with his free hand as she tried to squirm away while she came, no longer being able to stand to be touched and crying out loudly when she couldn't break free, the feeling so intense she no longer had control of her mind or at least it felt that way.

"Oh god Jack, no more, please, let's fuck some more, I need you inside me. I've missed having you inside me." She pleaded.

He lifted her off of him and laid her back onto the bed. She was looking at him with eyes that would get her anything and everything she wanted and he kissed her with a wet, passionate mouth that calmed them both down, slowed them down and made them both moan in pleasure as they reconnected, ready to make love one final time and do so with slowness and intensity. His thrusts were deep, long and purposeful. God he'd missed her so much, missed the intimacy, missed the way she wrapped her body around his, holding him, clawing and biting lightly as they loved one another.

"One more baby, come on, one more time." Jack coaxed completely focusing on her, wanting to feel her tighten and quiver around him one more time before he let go.

She didn't disappoint him, crying out and then gently biting the top of his shoulder as their sweaty bodies released in unison, both in desperate need of sleep, but needing this worse. He stayed deep inside of her, feeling the final jolts as he emptied his seed into her, the amount of stress and tension he'd just managed to let go of and the energy he'd spent doing it making his entire body feel wobbly and ready to sleep long and hard. He kissed her passionately, the hunger gone, but the love between them as strong as ever, finding themselves torn between giving into the sleep or cuddling, kissing, nuzzling and then finally coming together for more sex. He finally pried his mouth away and slowly pulled out of her, rolling onto his back and smiling as she found her favorite spot next him and made herself comfortable.

"I love you Jack, thank you so much for convincing me to come here." She sighed happily, her naked body draped over his.

"I love you too." He whispered his brain already starting to shut down.

They were both asleep before their bodies had a chance to cool. He would wake up later, but only long enough to pull the quilt over them and then he would wake them both a few hours later, bolting upright, eyes wide open, heart racing, body covered with sweat and breathing hard, feeling like he'd just witnessed something terrifying but unable to recall what or why. Kate sat beside him, rubbing her hand over his back and kissing the top of his shoulder gently, aware that he'd been dreaming again and understanding that asking him about it would only frustrate him. After a few minutes they laid back down together and she cuddled up next to him, feeling his strong arm wrap around her and noticing that he was holding on a little tighter than he was earlier, shaken and confused. They both drifted back into a deep, peaceful sleep that wouldn't be interrupted again.


	24. Chapter 24

She could feel the light kisses on her neck and shoulders slowly forcing her into a conscious state, having acquired more rest in one night than at any time over the past two months and her brain not all that eager to wake up. She finally opened her eyes to find him smiling back at her, his eyes soft and apologetic.

"Hey sleepyhead, I didn't want to wake you, but I hated for you to miss out on this incredible breakfast these people put together for us." He told her.

"Breakfast in bed?" She asked through a yawn.

"Yeah, kind of corny, but I'm a corny kind of guy." He admitted.

"You aren't corny, you're sweet and thoughtful. What time is it?" She asked.

"It's almost 11 AM." He told her.

She sat up straight, the sheets and blankets falling away from her and pooling around her waist and if she weren't so sleepy and confused he would have a hard time resisting grabbing a handful of the breasts that were suddenly presented to him.

"Jack! Why did you let me sleep so long? I wanted to call and check on Jack Junior first thing." She complained and began looking for her cell phone.

"I let you sleep because you are exhausted and needed to sleep more than you needed to worry and fret over him. He did send us a text message earlier. Want to see it?" Jack asked with a slight grin.

"I'd rather be holding him, but if a text message is all I can get, I'll take it." She grumbled aggravating him more than it probably should.

"Kate, if you're not having a good time we can leave right now. I'll have you home and walking the floor with him again in two hours." He said in a frustrated tone and handed her his phone.

She looked at the phone with the picture of baby Jack looking bright-eyed and content and the message below the picture that read "Good morning mom and dad. As you can see I'm fine, enjoy your weekend."

"Great, everyone can manage to make my baby happy except me and now you're mad at me. I suck at this so much Jack." Kate sighed on the verge of tears.

Jack grabbed one of his t-shirts and handed it to her. She slipped it over her head and he pulled her into his chest and let her let go of two months of frustration and exhaustion. After a few minutes she pulled out of his embrace and wiped the tears from her face, lifting her head to look at him.

"Feel better?" He asked.

"A little. I'm sorry Jack, I know we need this time alone and I'm ruining it." She apologized and let him pull her back into another comforting embrace.

"You aren't ruining anything Kate and I noticed how content our very unhappy baby looked too so I called my dad to see if he was really feeling better or if was just a good moment they managed to capture." Jack told her.

"He's feeling better Jack, I can see it in his eyes." Kate mumbled.

"Yes he is, but not because we suck at being parents, but because my mother put together some recipe she was forced to feed me that her mother gave her when I was about the same age as junior and every bit as miserable. He's had three feedings of it and my dad said he improved with each one." Jack told her.

"They're feeding him homemade formula?" Kate asked in a concerned tone.

"Yeah, I know, I frowned at first too, but they say I drank it for eight months and my dad is a doctor Kate, I don't think he'd allow it if he felt like there was any real danger and he's happy, cooing and sleeping in-between feedings, the baby, not my dad." Jack teased drawing a smile and light laugh from her.

"So how come one of us didn't think of this?" Kate asked.

"What? Think of homemade baby brew? Why would we?" He chuckled.

"I really miss him Jack." Kate said.

"I do too. Do you want to go home?" He asked.

"Are you going to be mad at me if I choose my baby over another day and night alone with you?" She asked.

"He's our baby and no, of course not. I think you…..we, both need the break, but the break is pointless if you're too miserable to relax and enjoy it. I just want you to be happy babe." He said in a sweet, apologetic tone, knowing he'd been too snippy with her earlier.

"You're right, we need this and I am happy Jack, I'm just feeling torn between the two loves in my life at the moment. Let's eat the breakfast you brought up here. Let's take it out onto the balcony and enjoy the sunshine. Maybe some food and some warm sunshine will help me not feel so torn." She told him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"You don't have to feel torn Kate, he's our son and his needs will always come first, but you and I are no good to him if we're too exhausted to enjoy him." Jack told her and kissed her back.

Jack moved off the bed so she could get up. He grabbed the tray of covered dishes and headed toward the two doors that opened up to a roomy balcony that allowed them a gorgeous view of the property, but sheltered them from being viewed except by the birds in the trees in front of them.

He set the food on the small table and uncovered the dishes before sitting on the piece of padded outdoor furniture that resembled a very small loveseat, just wide enough for them to sit side by side comfortably. She joined him, still wearing his t-shirt and he assumed panties, hoping to investigate whether or not he assumed correctly very shortly.

They enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, both hungrier than they realized. They relaxed into the furniture, him putting his arm around her and her snuggling in close, letting the back of her head rest on the spot just below his shoulder. The warm sun beaming down on them accompanied by the light breeze was so relaxing they both caught themselves attempting to dose off. She finally sat up straight and turned her head to look at him, a mischievous grin on her face.

"What?" He asked laughing lightly at her.

"Come on Jack, you're dying to find out if I have panties on just admit it." She taunted.

"Do you?" He asked.

"Do you?" She asked.

"Do I have panties on?" He chuckled.

"No, is there anything besides you inside those cargo shorts?" She asked and licked her lips lightly.

"Want to go inside and find out?" He asked.

She crawled into his lap, moving close and kissing him and then scooting back, the t-shirt bunched up around her just high enough to show that she wasn't wearing panties, the sight so familiar, but still able to make him groan out load. She smiled and moved his hand to her center, placing her knees on either side of his thighs and lifting herself enough for him to play.

"Let's go inside Kate." He panted.

"Play with my pussy Jack, right here and then I'll give you a ride you won't soon forget." She breathed into his mouth before closing hers over his, kissing him hungrily and moaning as she felt his fingers begin to work their magic on her.

He stopped what he was doing long enough to pull the t-shirt up and off of her, her nude body perched in his lap, so pretty and sexy and soft he wanted to touch and taste every inch of her while the sunlight kept them warm and the breeze kept them from overheating. He began sucking on her nipples, feeling her grind forward into the hardness that lay beneath the material of his shorts, wanting him and needing him to take her right then.

He stood with her body wrapped tightly around him, unfastened his shorts and let them drop to the ground, stepping out of them and carrying her to wall, pinning her against it and driving himself into her all in one quick movement, the sudden invasion both shocking and exciting. He held her there, neither moving, kissing her hungrily, his breathing labored as he worked to rein in his excitement.

She kissed him back, calming him down and eventually moaning with him as he began thrusting in and out of her, his strokes hard and deliberate, her orgasm just a thrust or two from spilling out of her, squealing loudly as it hit and chanting "fuck me baby, don't ever stop fucking me" while digging her fingernails deep into the flesh of his back.

He could feel the burning sensation and wondered if she'd drawn blood this time, but didn't care. He drove himself in as deep as he could get and let go of a string of profanity as he came hard, his body sweating and his legs beginning to weaken, turning them around and sliding down the wall with her in his lap.

They sat quietly for a moment, her body having fallen forward into his, the experience so raw and intense it seemed to drain both of them to the point of not being able to move.

"Where'd that come from?" He mumbled as his hand began to glide slowly over her back.

"I'm not sure, but it was pretty great." She replied with a light laugh.

"Yeah? I wasn't too rough?" He asked still speaking softly.

"Rough is good Jack, always has been between us. Remember that night on the balcony? God that was closest I've ever come to crossing the line between pleasure and pain and it was phenomenal." Kate sighed, lying heavy on his chest, her body exhausted and her mind cleared for the moment.

"I'd feel bad if I ever hurt you so let's not cross that line, but you're right, wherever it came from just now it was great, right up until I slid down this wall and drove a splinter into my ass." He told her, making her laugh.

"Let's go inside and I'll remove your splinter while the bathtub is filling. We haven't taken a bath together in so long Jack and I really miss those moments." Kate told him.

"I miss them too, but I wouldn't trade one minute of our lives regardless of how insane it's been lately. Every time I look at him I'm in awe of both of you and wonder how I got so lucky and if you still want to go home I completely understand." He told her.

She sat up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck, gazing into his tired eyes, their faces less than two inches apart.

"No Jack, I need this time with you. I don't always take the time to appreciate the way you try to pamper me and treat me like a little porcelain princess, but today and the rest of the weekend, I'm going to savor every minute of it and hopefully in return, find as many ways as possible to show you just how much I appreciate all you do for us." She told him and kissed him slowly before breaking away and allowing him to gently slip out of her.

She crawled off of him, stood and held her hands out as if she were going to pull him to his feet. He took hold of her hands and pulled himself up. As promised she removed the splinter, kissing the spot where the large sliver of wood had embedded itself, making him laugh. They relaxed together in the hot tub of water, talking very little and eventually making love again very slowly and sensually this time. After a long, hot bath that required hot water be added occasionally to keep it hot and the lengthy sex act that occurred in the hot bath, they were both physically and mentally ready to collapse, their bodies and brains feeling like rubber and mush respectively. They dried off and without bothering to dress, crawled into their bed and met in the center, snuggling close and finding a deep, restful sleep quickly.

She awoke to his body suddenly bolting upright again, eyes wide, but not awake this time, his mind still trapped in whatever nightmare had been haunting him since Jack Jr. was born. Jack was clearly troubled by the dreams, but wouldn't talk to her about them, attempting to shrug them off as manifestations of his fears concerning fatherhood, refusing to consider seeking professional help to figure out what was causing them.

This one was as intense as any she'd witnessed before, he was shaking, sweating and clearly trapped, unable to break through and wake up and she wasn't sure whether she should try to wake him up or let him go in hopes that he might say or do something that would give her some idea what he was dreaming about. After watching him struggle for a few minutes she couldn't stand it anymore and began trying to wake him up, getting clipped across the nose when his arms flailed up and forward suddenly.

He sat for a moment, breathing hard and trying to calm down, deeply frightened but not sure why. He turned and saw her hand over her face and the blood seeping through her fingers and immediately sprang into action, his nightmare forgotten for the moment. He returned to the bed with a wet towel and pulled her hand away from her face, applying the cool rag to her nose, tilting her head back and apologizing all at once. He began squeezing her nose and she slapped his hands away.

"Ow! Would you stop! Jesus!" Kate complained.

"Sorry, I was checking to see if it's broken." He said.

"Is it?" She asked.

"No, but it's probably going to be pretty sore. God Kate I'm sorry." He apologized.

"Don't be, it was an accident. Talk to me Jack, tell me anything you can remember and maybe we can figure this out together." Kate replied, her tone suggesting she was becoming worried about him.

He wrapped his arm around her and laid them back, keeping the cool cloth in place and hugging her into him tightly before kissing the top of her head.

"Don't worry about me Kate, I'm fine." He told her.

"No you aren't Jack. You didn't see yourself scared shitless and staring off into nothing. The dreams are getting worse." She argued.

"I don't remember anything Kate." He sighed obviously frustrated.

"Maybe you're remembering the accident through your dreams?" She asked.

"Maybe, but why now?" He asked.

"I don't know, but if something doesn't give pretty soon you are going to see a professional." She told him leaving no room for argument.

She couldn't see him smiling, finding her concern for him endearing.

They both fell back asleep waking up in a much more normal manner four hours later. He gently kissed the tip of her nose, happy to see that there was no bruising or swelling and then they spent the next two hours making love and enjoying one another. Hunger forced them from their love nest to shower, dress and enjoy a quiet dinner in one of the local restaurants. They walked along the shoreline, holding hands, the cool water on their feet and legs soothing against the warm evening air. They stopped and he turned her to face him, dusk setting on them quickly, but still enough light for him to enjoy her sweet face and sparkling eyes looking back at him.

"Let's get married Kate." He said.

"We will." She said.

"No, I mean now, tonight." He pushed.

"Jack, we can't." She resisted.

"Why not? Vegas is a five hour drive. I want to make this, us, official." Jack told her, his eyes pleading with her.

"What's going on Jack? We had a baby together, that makes us pretty official as far as I'm concerned. Why the sudden need to rubber stamp it?" Kate asked.

"I don't know, I just want to do it. Do you not want to marry me Kate?" He asked.

"More than anything Jack, but not like this, not in some tacky Vegas chapel because you're feeling unsettled by something you don't understand." She told him.

"Kate, I think my dad knows why I'm having these dreams, but for some reason he doesn't want to tell me. What if I did something so terrible I've blocked it out? What if I'm not who you really think I am?" Jack explained his fear too genuine for her to laugh at the absurdity of the suggestion.

"Jack I have no doubt you are exactly who I fell in love with, but maybe you should press your father if you think he has an idea what might be causing your nightmares. Your mom mentioned family skeletons to me once so maybe you did suffer something so traumatic you've blocked it out, something so awful that your parents don't talk about it." Kate suggested.

"Something so awful they stopped being parents?" Jack asked raising an eyebrow, an indication that he believed she might be onto to something.

She leaned in, wrapped her arms around his waist and let her head rest on chest, hugging him and holding him as close as possible.

"I don't know, they've always seemed like parents to me Jack and not like those awful people that left their only child home alone at Christmas, no Santa, no stockings, no Night Before Christmas." She said.

"Aidan always wondered where Rudolph was." Jack mumbled making her step back and look up at him.

"Who is Aidan?" Kate asked.

"Huh?" Jack asked.

"You said Aidan always wondered where Rudolph was, who is Aidan?" Kate asked.

"No I didn't." Jack argued.

"Jack you did too. You blurted it out as if it was some fond memory.

"Really?" He asked.

"Jack, you're kind of freaking me out. Are you sure you're okay?" Kate asked.

"I'm fine Kate, I must've been a little distracted or something. Maybe Aidan is a patient I had once or something." Jack tried to assure her.

She continued to look at him, giving him the look that told him she wasn't buying it and was worried he was losing touch with reality or something. He kissed her deeply and then wrapped her up in a strong, reassuring hug.

"I'm fine baby, I promise and I promise I will try to get my father to spill. Let's not let this stuff ruin what's left of our weekend. Okay?" He pushed.

"Okay, and since we're kind of hashing out issues here, I kind of meant to tell you something...something that you're not going to like." Kate admitted, biting gently on her bottom lip.

"What?" Jack asked refusing to try to guess.

"Let's walk back to the car and I'll tell you on the way." She said, pulling out of his embrace and placing her hand in his again.

"What's so bad you've been afraid to bring it up?" Jack asked refusing to budge from where he stood.

"It's Sarah, she's kind of been popping up a lot lately." Kate told him feeling his grip on her hand tighten almost to the point of being painful.

"What do you mean, popping up?" Jack asked.

"I mean popping up, at the grocery store, at the pediatrician's office, in the hospital parking garage, in front of the house." Kate explained saying the last part very softly.

"In front of the house?! Kate, why would keep this from me?" Jack nearly shrieked completely disturbed by the idea of his ex-wife watching their house.

"Because it didn't seem like that big of deal and you've been so exhausted between the hospital and the baby keeping you up half the night and the nightmares keeping you from resting the rest of time." Kate told him.

"Shit, I was afraid something like this would happen. She's not well Kate. Since she lost the baby she's been all over the place emotionally, but I haven't seen or heard from her since before Jack was born so I had hoped she had finally found some peace." Jack explained.

"So what are you saying Jack? You think she wants to hurt the baby or me or both?" Kate asked.

"I don't know Kate, but I'm glad you finally told me. She'll be at the top, middle and bottom of my list of things to take care of when we get back." Jack said.

"What are you going to do Jack?" She asked.

"I don't know, sit her down, ask her what's on her mind, why she's suddenly found my family so god damn interesting." Jack spat angrily.

"Maybe we should just leave Jack." Kate suggested snapping him out of his anger enough to realize he was scaring her.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. I promise." He told her, pulling her close and again and kissing her temple.


	25. Chapter 25

She lay comfortably in the candle lit room watching him slowly kiss his way up the inside of her thighs, feeling his warm breath and then his wet, soft tongue spread her folds and slowly move it up and down, the wetness pooling at her opening, greeting his chin and making him moan softly. She let her head relax back into the pile of pillows he'd insisted she fall into and relax, closed her eyes and enjoyed his slow, sensual movements, taking his time as his mouth and tongue worked in perfect rhythm to both soothe and satisfy her entire pussy, not just the clit. The clit would be saved for last and without the aid of finger penetration, his intent was to bring her off just using his mouth and he was close to getting her there, his movements so slow and satisfying that when she felt the deep, warm, incredibly nice sensation flood through her lower region she sighed a long, happy, breathy sigh that sounded as contented as he was making her feel.

He smiled an almost smug grin, pleased with himself and his ability to make her completely relax and hand herself over to him, the noises she was making not the typical frantic, feels so good it makes me scream sex cries, but more of a trusting, completely content and satisfied purring that she confided in him were moments when she was positive she'd never love or trust another human-being like she did him.

Making her happy was important to him, but seeing the look in her eyes that she was currently giving him as he moved up and hovered over her was the most incredible high he'd ever known. Eyes that showed a level of trust he'd never known with another person and an intense love that he wasn't convinced he deserved, but felt incredibly lucky to be on the receiving end of.

She was looking at him, not speaking, her hand gently curled around the hard aching need that lay between them making him close his eyes for a moment and enjoy being held so confidently, yet tenderly, enjoying her gentle strokes tugging up and down. He could've happily rolled onto his back and gave into it, let her pump and suck his member into explosion, the excitement and satisfaction that having the woman you love focus solely on you and your pleasure indescribable. However, he wanted more in this moment, wanted intimacy, wanted to love her until his body would no longer allow him to love her. He reached between them and pulled her hand away, placing it gently on the pillow beside her head and kissing her gently.

He pulled away from her mouth and dipped down, kissing her upper chest as he slowly inched his way down to her breasts, finding a nipple and closing his mouth over it. She closed her eyes again and hummed and purred some more, his slow, careful attention to detail movements igniting every nerve ending in her body.

He slowly kissed his way back up and locked their mouths together in a slow, wet, passionate kiss while he put his tip into position, feeling her open and begin to swallow him as she pulled her legs back and he pushed forward slowly, enjoying the sweet sensation of slowly slipping into the warmth and wetness and having it take hold of him, her soft walls gripping him securely, both moaning at the connection.

Her hands lay palms up on the pillows beside her head. He clasped his hands over hers and began moving, pulling out slightly and thrusting back in, increasing the length of the thrusts each time, coming close to pulling out completely, but never breaking the connection. They'd settled into a steady rhythm, nothing panicked and nothing rough, sweetly whispering his love for her as she came again, a little more intense than what he'd managed to bring out of her with his mouth according to her.

She was the most exciting and vocal lover he'd ever experienced and as he continued to thrust in and out of her she became more vocal, but instead of the profanity laden, lustful cries she typically showered him with when they were in their crazed, out of control frenzied fuck mode she became emotional and couldn't seem to express how much she loved him loud enough or convincingly enough.

That Kate had these two very significant sides excited him in ways that he'd never be able to express to her. He wasn't sure he could ever find a way to verbalize how she made him feel, but he knew he'd work hard every single day for rest of his life to make sure she was always fully aware of how much she meant to him. He'd never been the flowery sort and before Kate had never believed in the existence of soul mates or meant to bes, but he couldn't deny that this beautiful woman and mother of his child was some kind of gift and that he shouldn't question why or how, but instead spend the rest of his life worshipping the ground she walks on.

They finished, the final drops of his release emptying into her as he allowed his body to relax onto folded arms, keeping them joined and looking into her eyes, the candlelight making hers sparkle and his glow with a skin tingling warmth. They both wished they could take a snapshot of what they were seeing and smiled warmly at one another.

"Our life is going to settle down and be happy and normal Kate, I promise." He said.

"I'm happy Jack, I'm just worried about you and you can't help what your subconscious is doing to you." She told him her hand lightly cupping the side of his face.

"I'll do what you asked me to do. If my father won't talk to me I'll go see a shrink. I will also take care of Sarah. I'm done with the kid gloves. She created the mess her life has become not me." He told her.

"Jack, I know you love us and that you're doing the best that you can and it's enough. We'll deal with these difficult things together. You don't have to shoulder all of it. We're partners right?" Kate asked.

"That's right, but you shouldn't be burdened with my baggage, you should be enjoying your new home and your new baby and thinking seriously about us making him a little brother." Jack teased.

"Maybe he'd rather have a little sister, didn't you ever wish you'd had a little sister to protect when you were growing up?" Kate asked noticing the immediate change in his facial expression.

"I didn't protect her." Jack blurted out in that same distant tone he'd used earlier, shocking both of them.

"What did you say?" Kate asked

"I…..I……fuck." Jack mumbled.

He pulled out of her and rolled onto his back, placing his forearm over his eyes and sighing heavily. She pushed up onto her side, letting her fingers glide gently through the hair on his chest, trying to get him to look at her.

"What's wrong Jack?" She finally asked.

"I don't know where that came from Kate, but somehow I know it's true. What is wrong with me?" Jack asked in a frustrated tone.

"Come on Jack, you're a highly educated individual. You've obviously blocked out some horrible childhood trauma. Your parents had other children, children that apparently never got to grow up with you and for whatever reason, they have chosen to keep you in the dark about it. So did the memory flash you just had come with a name?" Kate asked.

"No, I don't think so, but I think she was a baby." Jack admitted.

"So you did remember or see something?" Kate asked.

"It's not like that Kate. It's like recalling a past event without thinking about it only there are no faces or places, just a very short situation recollection. I feel like I'm losing my mind." Jack said.

She kissed him on the cheek and snuggled in beside him, deciding that it was probably best to listen if he wanted to talk, but to stop pressing for information. They lay in total silence for about a half hour. She could tell by his breathing that he'd fallen asleep so she slipped away from him, blew out the candles in the room and rejoined him, covering both of them with the quilt.

He woke them both up with a bang about three hours later, bolting upright again, breathing hard and once again terrified out of his mind, eyes open wide but still trapped, not in a nightmare, but in what they both now knew was a memory, a memory that had been so awful his brain had blocked it out for the majority of his life. He was shoving at the blanket that was pooled around his waist and in a scared almost childlike voice was saying "get it off of me daddy, get it off", tears streaming down his cheeks as the grown man was transformed into an eight year old boy dealing with something unimaginable. He finally stopped, lay back down and continued to sleep. She didn't wake him, deciding that they could talk about it in the car on the way home.

They awoke early the next morning, made love, lounged in the bed afterward, made love some more, had breakfast delivered to their room, showered together and were attempting to dress for their trip home. He didn't seem to have any memory of the dream and was busying himself by pulling her freshly showered body into his, his body wrapped around hers from behind, fondling her breasts and nibbling on her neck.

"Jack we have to check out by noon." Kate giggled.

"That's over an hour away. You're warm and naked and I want you bad." He told her, his tone lustful, his fresh hard-on pressing into her back.

"Yeah I can tell. So, what do you say lover, want to go sex up the balcony? Do you think you could fuck me against the railing without anyone seeing?" She coaxed, feeling his cock grow just a little harder.

"No, you might fall off, but I'm thinking this counter is the perfect height." He told her, spinning her around to face him and lifting her up onto the counter.

He went down to his knees, placing her feet on his shoulders and buried his face in her pussy, feeling her toes dig into his flesh and smiling.

"Put your fingers in me." She panted.

He pushed his middle finger into her until it was buried inside completely, holding it there and slowly curling it forward.

"Oh God!" Kate screamed just before her body shuddered and she came all over his face.

He grabbed one of the strewn towels, wiped his face, stood and held her legs up and apart while she guided his throbbing cock to her hole. He let go of her legs and thrust into her hard, feeling her legs wrap around him. He pulled her to the very edge of the counter and began pushing in an out of her, his balls slapping loudly against her as he drove himself into her hard and fast.

"You like that don't you? Say it Kate, tell me how you like it." He demanded, the sweet, generous lover from the previous night replaced by the crazed almost greedy lover that excited her and brought out all of her naughtiness.

"Hard Jack, I like it when you fuck me hard so don't hold back, drill me baby and don't stop until I tell you to." She told him and bit hard into the top of his shoulder.

"Shit Kate, I think you drew blood." He groaned with a bit of chuckle and continued fucking her with everything he had making her come again and he wasn't sure, but he guessed everyone in the bed and breakfast knew she came as well.

"Pull out, I want you to come in my mouth." She insisted.

"While you're on your knees?" He asked.

"Of course, with you holding onto the back of my head and fucking my mouth." She said with a sexy grin.

They quickly assumed the position and he thought he might go crazy before he found his release, finally grabbing the counter and filling her mouth, watching her slither back up his body and close her mouth over his sharing what was left of his load with him and then pulling back to offer a "gotcha" grin.

"Yeah, go ahead and grin. See how long I make you wait before you get my dick in your mouth again." He complained in a teasing fashion.

"I expect to have it in my mouth on the way home and you'll happily go along with it babe, so don't make threats you have no intention of following up on." Kate replied.

He pulled her close and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you coming here with me Kate. I think I needed this weekend worse than you did. I've missed my sweet and often naughty lover more than I realized I did." He told her, his tone sincere.

"I think we both needed this and that was pretty incredible, think we could squeeze one more in before we go?" She asked and kissed him.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked.

"I was serious about the balcony Jack." She said and winked at him.

After some coaxing and fake pouting on her part, she finally convinced him to take her out onto the balcony and take her from behind, her breasts bobbing in the wind as he willed his exhausted body to make her squeal at least one more time.

They sat in their car, his hand over hers, steering the car onto the freeway sharing a laugh over the looks they received on their way out of the Bed and Breakfast. He pulled his hand away and she relaxed back into her seat, closing her eyes and not opening them again until she felt him shaking her about two hours later.

They spent about an hour visiting with Jack's parents, amazed at the change in their baby and looking forward to getting him home and enjoying a happy, content baby. Margo excused herself and took the baby in for a fresh diaper, stating that she might not get to do again for awhile. Kate excused herself moments later and joined Margo in the little nursery they had put together for their grandson.

"You can spend as much time with him as you like Margo. It's typically just the two of us during the day and if you ever wanted to volunteer to baby sit I'm sure we'd never turn down the offer." Kate told her.

"My son might not feel the same way Kate, but thank you." Margo said.

"That's not true, he was confident all weekend that his son was in good hands." Kate argued.

"Kate, I'm sure you've noticed that Jack and I don't have any kind of relationship and that's my fault not his, but I think it's too late to mend what I broke so badly." Margo confessed.

"I don't agree, but that is between the two of you. Who is Aidan?" Kate asked noticing Margo tense up immediately.

"Why would you ask about Aidan?" Margo asked.

"Because Jack blurted his name out in the middle of a conversation and has no idea why. He thinks he's going crazy Margo, but I think you and Christian know exactly who Aidan is or was and why Jack has no memories prior to the age of 8." Kate said.

"It's complicated Kate." Margo said.

"More complicated than a grown man waking up every single night terrified out of his mind and unable to understand why? More complicated than that same man whimpering "get it off of me daddy, get it off" during one of those episodes and having no memory of it the next day?" Kate asked, a hint of anger in her tone.

"I'll talk to Christain. I don't want to hurt him Kate and helping him remember is going to hurt him." Margo said.

"Remember what? What happened to this family?" Kate asked exasperated.

"Something that no family, parent or small boy should ever have to go through Kate and we've decided it's the baby that's causing his brain to attempt to unlock the memories that it locked away so long ago." Margo said.

"Why Margo? Why do you think this sweet little baby is causing him to recall something that was so awful he blocked it out?" Kate asked.

"Because it was a difficult situation with a baby that triggered the unfortunate sequence of events that ended in tragedy. I will talk to Christian, but until then, please just try to be patient with him." Margo said.

"Of course, but it's sad and it's painful to watch him go through it Margo, so please, don't wait too much longer, he's suffering and it sounds like the two of you have the answers he needs." Kate told her.

Kate and Jack gathered their baby and his things and went home. She never told Jack about her conversation with his mother or about the things he'd said during his last episode. She sat in the family room and listened to Jack struggle through yet another battle with Sarah in the next room, him demanding to see her so they could talk and her apparently refusing to cooperate, the yelling getting loud enough to upset the baby. She heard the door slam shut and then heard him enter the room a few minutes later. He kneeled in front of her and kissed the baby on the side of the head.

"Sorry about that short stuff, she brings out the very worst in me anymore." Jack said sweetly to the baby, rubbing his thumb softly over his cheek.

"So, I guess you're leaving?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, I'm going over to her house and settle this bullsh..., stuff once and for all." Jack said, kissing her quickly on the lips and standing up.

"Okay, you want me to make dinner?" She asked.

"No, I'll pick something up on the way back. Hopefully it won't take long." Jack said with a weary smile.

"Hey, it's going to be okay." Kate said.

"Yeah, I know, one way or another, it's going to be okay." Jack agreed and left.

Jack pulled into the driveway of the home he and Sarah had shared. He was still paying for all of it, including utilities and yard maintenance. He offered to help her sale it and pay for something else, something that didn't remind her of their marriage and their problems, but she wasn't interested in doing anything more than going to work every day and hiding inside her house in the evenings and on the weekends. She was clinically depressed, but refused to stay on any medication long enough for it to work and he was fed up, tired of being both her anchor and crutch and had told her as much on the phone.

She screamed and cried and begged him not to remove himself from her life, not to make her sell the house, but he didn't budge during the phone conversation. The divorce agreement said he had to provide for her, it didn't get specific about the property involved and he felt it was in Sarah's best interest to be closer to her family so they could help her through the difficult time she was having. She finally stopped screaming and crying and agreed to meet with him, told him to come over so they could discuss what would happen in a civil manner and discuss how she would no longer be stalking his family.

Jack knocked on the door and when he didn't get an answer he walked in through the unlocked door and began calling for her. He was about to give up, angry that she'd not stuck around to face the music, when he saw her walking slowly toward him. She was staring straight ahead, almost zombie like and then he saw the gun in her hand and instinctively began backing up, holding his hands up and trying to talk to her.

"Don't worry Jack, I would never hurt you, not like you hurt me." She said and held the gun up to her head.

"Sarah, please, don't do this. We can talk about this, figure out how to help you feel better." Jack pleaded with her.

"You can't help me feel better Jack, nobody can." She mumbled and began to squeeze the trigger.

"Sarah no!" Jack screamed as the gun went off.


	26. Chapter 26

He sat in the dark room listening to the light swishing sound of the respirator, the machine that was breathing for the woman he'd once promised to love and cherish until he died. He was still alive and hadn't fulfilled that promise, had failed her as a lover, husband and friend and her life, for all intents and purposes was over, the machine the only thing keeping her alive. The bullet had done the damage it needed to do, her brain barely functioning by the time the ambulance arrived with her, him in the back the entire way, holding onto her hand. His blood-stained clothes had since been replaced with the familiar blue hospital scrubs, but all the washing and scrubbing in the world would never remove her blood from his hands.

He wasn't fully responsible for the death of his ex-wife, but he played a role in it even though he knew many would attempt to convince him otherwise. So he sat in the dark room, holding her hand and listening to the machine, waiting for the hospital to track down a relative who could sign the document that would allow the machine to be turned off, a final act of mercy that his status as her ex-husband kept him from doing for her. Her body was deteriorating fast though, organs quickly failing, the first bullet she'd inflicted upon herself going through the chest cavity and ricocheting off muscle and bones, doing damage that could've been repaired if he could've gotten to her before she put the next bullet into her skull, not killing her instantly, but doing irreparable damage. Nature would most likely intervene long before a family member would so he stayed, refusing to leave her to die alone.

He never heard him enter the room, but felt the familiar touch grip his shoulder from behind. He sighed heavily, refusing to turn around, refusing to allow him to see him weak and vulnerable even though a shoulder to cry on was exactly what he needed. He gripped Sarah's hand a little tighter and swallowed the large, aching, nearly suffocating lump in his throat.

"Who told you?" Jack asked.

"Kate called and told us what happened." Christian said.

"So what, you came down here to lecture me on how pathetic I am for feeling responsible?" Jack snapped.

Christian let the angry words roll off of him, knowing his son very well and knowing that he would be sitting by her bedside blaming himself and understanding why he would.

"No, I just came to be with you." Christian replied feeling Jack's body jerk involuntarily underneath his grip.

There were no hugs, no comfort other than the reassuring hand maintaining his grip, no words of wisdom or disdain, just a father allowing his son to breakdown and hurt without passing judgment or suggesting it was a sign of weakness. Christian knew all too well what it meant to lose someone you love and feel responsible for the loss because 30 years ago he realistically lost all three of his children even though one had survived and had grown into more than he could've dreamed or hoped for.

"This isn't the first time I've killed somebody is it dad?" Jack asked his voice cracking and almost childlike.

"You didn't kill Sarah son, you've never killed anyone." Christian insisted.

"You're lying to me. Why are you lying to me? I haven't told anyone but, I've seen flashes, horrible flashes of blood, sirens, a mangled body and your hand holding mine, even though I'm just a boy, I know it's your hand and I can remember names as if they were a normal part of my life. I need you to tell me what I did before I lose my mind dad." Jack begged.

The machine monitoring Sarah's heart flat-lined and began beeping before Christian had a chance to respond. He let go of Jack's shoulder, walked to the other side of the bed and shut the monitor off. Jack stood, still holding her hand while his other hand gently cupped one side of her face. He leaned in and kissed her softly, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm so sorry Sarah. I never wanted to hurt you, I swear, if I had known………." Jack spoke stopping just short of finishing the sentence.

"Don't go there son, don't suggest for one second that you would've let Kate go and stayed in a miserable relationship if you'd known she was going to kill herself." Christian warned.

Jack looked up at his father, his eyes red and swollen, his face tear streaked, so beaten and nearly broken Christian would've given anything to be able to switch places with him.

"I need to know dad, please, I have to know what I did." Jack pleaded with him.

Christian looked into his eyes, the torment and confusion evident and he knew it would be cruel to deny his request.

"Fine, let's go for a ride and I'll help you put the pieces of the puzzle together." Christian offered.

Jack didn't want to go for a ride, didn't want to play a game, he just wanted to know, but he was tired, too tired to argue so he followed his father out of the hospital and into his car. They drove in silence for nearly an hour, pulling into a cemetery and following the path for awhile before the car came to stop. Christian grabbed a flashlight and opened his car door. Jack opened his door and followed him. It appeared to be a family plot, a plot he didn't know existed, but the large piece of granite with the name Shephard on it a clear indication that it was a family plot. Christian sat on the granite bench that was part of the plot and waited for Jack to join him. Jack dropped his body down onto the bench, dropping his head and running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Why are we here?" Jack asked.

"Jack, do you remember me taking you to school your first day of Kindergarten or is that just something you've always agreed that what I was telling you was the truth? Think hard son and tell me if you really remember that day." Christian said.

"What does….." Jack started to argue.

"Just answer the question Jack." Christian said.

Jack thought for a moment, searched his memory for images of the day his father always joked about as being the day he realized how stubborn and independent his son was and he could see flashes his father's hand holding his, looking across and noticing his father held the hand of another boy, a smaller one and suddenly jerked backward, frightened, but not sure why.

"You really are getting your memories back. You remember don't you? You're younger brother was with us and you were stubbornly trying to tug away from me." Christian coaxed.

"Aidan." Jack said softly.

"That's right, he was two years younger than you and your constant shadow, but you never seemed to mind, always kind and patient with him and a big help to your mom with me being gone so much." Christian told him in sad, regretful tone.

"Isabelle was the baby." Jack blurted out startling himself.

"Yes, she was our youngest and you would've thought she belonged to you." Christian said with a light laugh, the memory sad, but happy at the same time.

"What's happening to me dad? Why are all these bits and pieces of names and people suddenly in my head?" Jack asked.

Christian turned on the flashlight and let it shine on the two small headstones in front of them. Jack studied them, two young children, a girl less than one and a boy who was a few days shy of his sixth birthday, both died on the same day. Isabelle and Aidan Shephard, siblings he never knew existed.

"What happened to them and why now, why am I remembering them now?" Jack asked.

"Son, sometimes it really is best to let things go and this was one of those things. I think the birth of your son triggered the memories." Christian said.

"What does Jack have to do with any of this?" Jack asked.

"Isabelle was born with a heart condition, a heart condition that today wouldn't be as life threatening, but back then it was very serious and a matter of getting her to the point where she would be strong enough for the surgery she needed. You were so protective of her from the day we brought her home and she would do things for you that your mother and I couldn't get her to do. You can see she was still just a baby when we lost her and it was her death that led to the tragedy that took your brother's life and I think the baby coming into your life and you drawing on those feelings of protectiveness was the key to unlocking the memories that were so awful you blocked them out." Christian explained.

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"You can't remember? I think you can Jack, I think you're afraid to and it's understandable because when you do remember it's going to hurt and you're going to blame yourself for what was a terrible accident and nothing more." Christian explained.

"Tell me!" Jack demanded.

"No Jack, you tell me. You'd had the flu and we had kept you away from Isabelle, but she managed to catch it anyway. She was too weak to fight it. I had to come home from the hospital and tell you that she didn't make it. Do you remember that Jack?" Christian spoke slowly.

Jack sat quietly, allowing his father's words to sink in, remembering a small, frail baby with dark hair and big eyes that was always happy to have his attention and he smiled for a moment before flashes of screams, blood and pain filled his head and he attempted to get up, to shake it free, make it go away and Christian pushed him back down.

"Don't run from it Jack." Christian told him.

He was sweating and shaking as the memories came flooding back. A young boy devastated with grief and angry, so angry he went out to the garage, his younger brother in tow, jumped on the mini-bike his parents had bought him for his 8th birthday and took off before his distraught parents could stop him. Aidan, always his brother's shadow, had jumped on behind him, his small arms wrapped confidently around his older brother's waist, unafraid and unaware of the tragedy that had just befell his family, just thinking he and the brother he admired were going for a fun ride.

He took the mini-bike out onto the main road, disregarding all the rules that had been put in place, too sad and angry to care about the punishment that would result, unaware that the consequences for his reckless behavior would be life altering. He didn't notice the parked car until the last second, panicked and lost control, the bike laying down, but not before crashing hard into the sharp bumper of the parked car, finding himself pinned underneath the bike underneath the car, his brother's nearly severed head laying on his chest, so much blood it was impossible to determine where it all was coming from and the pain, the pain was excruciating.

Jack began sobbing as the vivid memories of that day came flooding back, remembering not only the horrific accident that had taken his brother's life, but also remembering his brother, his voice, his smell, his curiousness and how he was the exact opposite of Jack who was calm, mature for his age and wise beyond his years. He began remembering the trust and admiration his younger brother bestowed upon him and his final screams as the bike slammed into the parked car, the next vivid recollection was the dead eyes looking back at him as his father's arm and hand reached in and held onto his trembling hand, attempting to comfort him while he begged for his father get it off of him, the dead head barely connected to the body staring back at him traumatizing and too much for an eight year old boy to deal with.

"Oh god, I killed him. He trusted me, trusted me to keep him safe and I killed him." Jack sobbed.

"It was an accident Jack, a terrible accident." Christian insisted.

"What happened? Why don't I remember anything else before waking up?" Jack asked.

"You had a pretty serious head injury Jack. You lost consciousness before help arrived to get out from under the car. When you woke up with no memories of the accident or the existence of Aidan and Isabelle, your mother and I decided it was best to just leave it alone." Christian explained.

"Mom, this is why she hates me." Jack stated.

"She doesn't hate you and doesn't blame you, but try to imagine what losing two of your children would do to a person. Your mother just shut down, became so afraid of the pain of losing the only child she had left that she just disconnected." Christian said.

"Did he suffer?" Jack asked.

"Did who suffer?" Christian asked.

"Aidan. Did it hurt or was it instant?" Jack asked.

"Jack, don't do this." Christian said.

"No, I want to know." Jack said.

"There's no way of knowing for sure. Come on son, you're a doctor, you know that. He was dead by the time I got to you and I saw it happen so any pain that might've been involved was very quick." Christian said.

"Why would you do this dad? Why would you let me grow up missing such a crucial piece of information?" Jack asked his tone accusing.

"We did what we thought was best for you Jack." Christian insisted.

"Best for me or best for you? I mean, talking to me about it would've meant acknowledging you still had a son, but then instead of just growing up alone with a nanny I would've had to grow up knowing why my parents couldn't stand the sight of me." Jack spat angrily.

"That's not true Jack." Christian argued, but not very convincingly.

"No dad it is and that would've been understandable and something that could've been worked through eventually with some honesty, but because it was never dealt with we have this giant barrier that prevents any kind of relationship from existing." Jack said sadly and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Christian asked.

"Take me back to Sarah's house so I can get my car." Jack said.

They drove in silence to Sarah's home. Christian pulled the car into the driveway and looked at Jack. He started to speak, but stopped when Jack put his hand up.

"I can't do this dad. I need some time to process all of this." Jack said.

The house was dark and quiet when Jack finally arrived home. It was late and he was doing his best to stay quiet and not wake Kate or the baby. He entered the nursery and stared down at his sleeping son, his perfect, beautiful little boy. His day had been as violent, disgusting and disturbing as a day could be and it seemed odd to him that in that moment something so completely innocent and wonderful lay peacefully in front of him.

He didn't hear her enter the room and jumped a little when he felt her arms snake around him from behind. He took hold of her hands and led her around until she stood in front of him, pulling her in close for a hug and showing no desire to let go of her any time soon. She lay her head on his chest and held tightly to him, knowing that there were no words she could offer and hoped that just being there for him would provide some comfort.

"I'm sorry I was gone so long. I sat with her until she died and then my father took me on a trip down memory lane." He said softly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"No, not now." He answered.

"Okay, I'm going to go back to bed. Are you coming?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there, I just want to stay here for a little while longer." He said, hugging her once more and then kissing her softly.

Kate woke the next morning, startled that the baby hadn't woken her during the night. She noticed that Jack's side of the bed hadn't been slept on and relaxed, realizing that he had taken care of the 4 AM feeding. She climbed out of bed and made her way down the hallway to the nursery, finding it empty. She went to the kitchen, put some coffee on and headed toward the family room, finding Jack sound asleep on the couch with Jack junior on his chest. The baby was wide awake, the large protective arm draped over him keeping him from going anywhere and not seeming to mind, just content to lie on his father's chest as if he could sense his father needed him to be there. Kate gently picked up the baby, covered Jack with the throw and left him to hopefully sleep and rest.

She hadn't told Jack that his father had called her, warning her that he was trying to absorb some very painful information and to be patient with him. She sat in the kitchen with the baby, the most precious thing in her life and thought back to the night she'd met the lonely gorgeous man in the hotel bar. She was in so much emotional pain then and even though he apparently was too he had managed to see right through her act and eventually bring her around. She couldn't remember what her life was like before Jack and the baby and if she had a wish for Jack, it would be for him to some day be able to make the same claim, that all the things that hurt him would finally be put to rest and that he too would eventually be wondering what he did with himself before she and the baby had come into his life.

Jack slept most of the day away and she let him, having gone along with Christian's request and turned off his phone and pager, leaving him on the couch in the cool, darkened room, surprised that he had slept as much as he had. What was more surprising to her though was how he didn't object to her pampering and babying him, allowing her to wait on him hand and foot, run him a hot bath and pamper him some more and then take him to bed where the pampering reached a level that made him come so hard she was sure he released a life time of tension all over her and then he found sleep again quickly. It worried her, but Christian had warned her that he was in shock and would be behaving differently until he snapped out of it and he was of course right. Jack had returned to what she considered normal for Jack within a couple of days.

Jack eventually shared the story of Aidan and Isabelle with Kate and she could tell the anger and contempt he felt toward not only himself, but his parents for allowing him to grow up without knowing about it was going to erupt eventually and that it most likely wouldn't be pleasant. He stopped talking to his father unless it was work related and wouldn't let them see their grandson.

With the exception of their sex life, his behavior around her and the baby was as it had always been. They still made love just about every day sometimes more than once, but he shied away from the frenzied, raw and often out of control fucking that they both used to enjoy. He seemed to want to coddle, protect and always be sweet and gentle with her, which was nothing any sane woman would complain about, but she was concerned that he wasn't okay, that he was feeling afraid and needing to just love her and be loved back and it was becoming almost dry and routine to her.

Watching Sarah shoot herself and learning about the tragedy and refusing to talk to his parents was affecting him emotionally, how could it not, but she couldn't get him to admit that. He would get mad and they would fight if she suggested he talk to someone and then he'd beg her to forgive him and make love to her in an almost desperate fashion, tonight being no exception.

They'd fought over Jack refusing to acknowledge his mother's birthday and he'd gotten in her face and reminded her that they weren't married yet so what he did with his family was none of her fucking business. For some reason it hurt more than it should've and she cried and he immediately felt awful and here they were, in their bed, him inside of her slowly thrusting in and out, whispering his love for her as he continued on. She couldn't stand it any longer and began pushing at his chest.

"Stop Jack, please, get off." She insisted.

He stopped, propping himself up on his elbows, looking into her eyes with soft, almost sad questioning eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, I'm just not in the mood for this. Pull out and I'll take care of you." She told him.

"I can take care of myself Kate." He told her unable to hide the hurt.

He pulled out of her and rolled onto his back, sighing heavily and letting his folded arm rest above his head. She sat up and let her hand glide gently over his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings Jack, but I can't lay her and pretend to enjoy it anymore." She complained.

"I didn't realize I was so bad you were pretending." He huffed.

"Stop it Jack, you know what I'm talking about. God, it feels like you're fucking me because you feel obligated to do so." She spat angrily.

"What do you want from me Kate? Do you want me to be rough, fuck you until it hurts and keep going anyway, maybe you'd like it more if I left bruises or made you bleed?" He spat back.

"At least I'd feel like I still excite you, like you want me so bad you can't control yourself, like I'm not just the woman you have to go home to and fuck because that's what you're supposed to do. Should I hand you a tube of lube next time so you'll feel more at home?" She asked wishing she could take the last part back as soon as she said it.

He started to move of the bed and she immediately straddled him, pinning his arms to the mattress and squeezing his sides with her legs as hard as she could.

"I'm sorry, that was horrible, but damn you Jack, you're hurting and you're keeping it all inside and it's not good for you. If you won't talk to a professional then talk to me. I love you and there isn't anything you can't share with me and I'm not letting you up until you spill." She demanded.

"Fine Kate, you want to be fucked hard, get on your hands and knees and I'll treat you like a whore, do I get extra points if I hurt you, huh is that what you want? Maybe we can plan a wedding and I can fuck your bridesmaid in the bathroom while you watch, would that get the job done Kate?" He replied with so much anger and nastiness she should've been repulsed and backed away immediately, but she wasn't going to give into it.

"That's right Jack, show me some passion, show me you give a damn." She taunted.

"Get off of me Kate." He ordered.

"What's the matter Jack? Can't get hard for a woman that really wants you? Does your dick only work if you're being led around by it or is it because your ex-wife and your parents have your balls?" Kate pushed seeing the anger in his eyes and wondering if she was taking it too far.

Jack quickly removed himself and her from the bed in one quick movement, his strength overpowering her and any attempt she made to fight him off, not that she was fighting him, she'd finally ignited his flame and wasn't about to try to put it out. He slammed her back against the wall and drove his now very hard cock into her with as much velocity as he could muster, making her gasp and wrap her legs around his waist tightly as he continued to thrust upward violently, sensing that she was about to come and pulling back and out of her, setting her down and placing his hands on the wall on either side of her, trapping her in the space between them.

"You don't get to come, not yet." He growled, his eyes a mixture of excitement and insanity, the sight of it making her wetter and she wondered if maybe it was her that had a problem.

He moved off the wall and led her back over to the bed.

"Lay down on your stomach." He demanded.

She did as he said and felt him hovering over her immediately. She pushed her bottom up in the air and he swatted it hard, surprising her and making her cry out, a little more painful than anything he'd done to her before.

"Stay down and be quiet, you'll wake the baby." He ordered.

He turned her over, spread her legs as far apart as he could and drove himself into her again, pushing her knees back and sinking deeper and deeper. He pounded into her hard and quick and once again pulled out before she managed to get over the edge, frustrating her and making her wonder if she'd pushed him too hard, if he really did hate her and wanted nothing more than to hurt her until she felt as bad as she'd made him feel.

He looked down at her, saw the doubt coupled with a trace of fear in her eyes, the beginning of a tear starting and he sat back on his folded legs, pulling her up and into his lap, allowing her to connect with him on her terms this time, wrapping his arms around her and holding her while he pushed into her hard and deep.

"I would kill myself before I would ever intentionally hurt you Kate. You're my whole life." He told her and continued thrusting into her, feeling her walls begin to contract around him again and allowing her to spill over the edge, joining her, coming hard and feeling his emotions bubbling to the surface right along with his semen.

She held tightly to him, his penis buried deep inside of her while the trauma of that horrible night came pouring out of him, the guilt he felt over Sarah coupled with the guilt he felt over having learned he killed his younger brother had been consuming him. The anger and betrayal he felt about his parents hurting him on a level most of us don't know exists within us and she cried for him, cried for his pain and suffering, but mostly cried for them, for getting over this hump, for finally becoming someone he could tell his deepest, darkest secrets too without fear of ever losing her love or respect.

They stayed that way until the muscles in their bodies began to protest the pretzel like position they were in. She moved off of him and they met in the center of the bed, snuggled together the way they liked to be, wondering what kind of fucked up fight they'd just had, but feeling as though the outcome was positive.

"I want to get married on New Year's Eve Jack, on the same boat where you proposed." Kate said.

"You still want to marry me after that?" He asked.

"I want to marry you more than ever after that." She told him.

"Kate, I'm……." He started but was cut off by her.

"Don't Jack, because I'm not sorry. I only regret I went to such an awful place to get us where we needed to be. Let's promise each other that we won't do that to each other again, that we won't use painful moments from our past as weapons to hurt one another with." She said.

"I promise and Kate………thank you." He said softly as they both began drifting off to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

She stood quietly in the doorway and watched him, the grown man, the prominent spinal surgeon, the man she loved more than life itself, moments like this making her heart swell and love him even more. He sat in the middle of the floor with baby Jack in his lap, one arm keeping a safe and firm hold on him while the other arm assembled the train track they were sitting in the middle of, talking to him as if the small baby could understand everything he was saying.

"See Jack, this is the most important Christmas decoration. You've got to have a Christmas train, but since your mom bought you so many presents, presents you not only don't need, but could care less about, the train won't be going around the tree. However, next year, we'll get a bigger one, maybe so big you can ride it." Jack talked to the baby as he finished assembling the track.

Kate put her hand over her mouth to stifle the giggle that wanted to come out. She watched him put the last car on the track and then reach over to start the train and she was touched by how much boy still remained in Jack, how much fun he was having and how he was excitedly anticipating the start of the train the way baby Jack certainly would some day.

He flipped the switch and the train began moving slowly around the track. It was a Christmas train so it was full of bright flashing lights accompanied by a montage of children's Christmas songs. The baby reacted happily to the sight and the noise, kicking his feet and smiling, letting go of his first real happy squeal, making Jack laugh and hold him out in front of him.

"I guess you like it huh." He said happily to the baby and then pulled him close, kissing him on cheek.

He set the baby back on his lap and let him enjoy watching the train and Kate stood back and enjoyed watching the two of them. Their relationship had gone back to normal or perhaps was even better after their fight and him sharing the things that hurt him the most with her, but he still wouldn't budge on the issue with his parents, refusing an invitation for Christmas dinner and refusing to allow them to see the baby, shutting them out of his life his way of dealing with the hurt and betrayal he was feeling.

It was a source of contention between them because even though she understood Jack's hurt and anger, she couldn't understand shutting your parents out of your life, especially when it was probably the first time since he was a boy that he would have a chance to really know his parents and have a closer relationship with them. She hated the idea of him denying himself that, denying Jack Jr. his grandparents and denying her the relationship she was quickly building with them. Kate didn't have any family, Jack and the baby were it and his parents had made her feel like part of something and even though she probably had no right to, a part of her resented Jack for denying her that.

She had been meeting with his mother, allowing her to enjoy her grandson, enjoying the woman's company and the stories of Jack as a boy, especially those moments that occurred before tragedy tore their family apart, her relationship with her first born very special up until that day. There was no doubt Jack now had vivid memories of the relationship with his mother and that remembering those times fed the anger and resentment he was feeling toward them. She believed that in time Jack would come around and find a way to forgive them, but couldn't go along with his decision to just rip Jack Jr. out of their lives completely. Christian, while happy to see the baby didn't agree with Kate's decision to not support Jack, warned her that he would find out and that he would feel betrayed by it, but she decided she was doing what was best for her son and was willing to deal with whatever fallout might occur because of her decision.

The baby began to fuss snapping Kate out of her thoughts. She entered the room, the bottle of milk the reason she'd come to the room in the first place. Jack turned the train off and stood, stepping carefully around the newly assembled Christmas decoration and making himself comfortable on the couch. Kate sat beside him and handed Jack the bottle. He cradled the baby in his arms and began feeding him.

"He liked the train." Kate said and laughed lightly.

"Yeah, babies are easy, give them some bright lights and noise and they're happy." Jack commented.

"I think the baby's dad likes the train as much as the baby does. Maybe Santa should've gotten you a train this year." Kate teased.

"My dad used to make this big deal about the Christmas train. He and I would assemble it while Aidan whined at us every five minutes asking if he could turn it on. I can remember being about six years old and my dad let me do it by myself that year. I finally had it all assembled and I turned it on and was feeling like quite the big shot because it actually worked and Aidan came in, got mad that we didn't wait for him to turn it on and shoved me backwards. I fell onto the train and broke it." Jack said remembering the moment as if it were yesterday.

"Aw, were you mad?" Kate asked.

"Mad? No, I was devastated. It was a big deal showing my dad I could put that train together by myself and it was ruined." Jack told her.

"So what happened? Did your dad fix it?" Kate asked.

"No, it couldn't be fixed so my mom made him go out and buy another one. She sent him out on Christmas Eve to buy a friggin train." Jack laughed and then became silent.

"So did he find a train?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, he did. He said he had to go to six different stores, but he found one." Jack answered quietly, almost sadly.

"Jack, they want to spend Christmas with you, won't you……." She spoke softly, tentatively.

"No. I've spent a lifetime without these memories and they're good, healthy memories. We were a normal, happy family once and I don't understand why they would…..no, I just don't think I can do that yet Kate." Jack said as he pulled the bottle from the baby's mouth and laid him on his chest to burp him.

Kate didn't push the issue, she knew it would do no good and would only end up in them fighting and she didn't want to fight with him.

"We've been invited to several different homes tonight. Do you want to keep him up and go hit the neighborhood Christmas Eve parties or would you rather stay in?" Kate asked.

"Depends." He shrugged.

"Depends on what?" She asked.

"Depends on whether or not Christmas Eve sex in is the plans." He teased with a grin and kissed her softly.

"We already had Christmas Eve sex this morning Jack." She giggled as he nuzzled her neck, the growth on his face scratchy and tickling her.

"Yeah, but "mini-me" woke up and forced us to hurry up and finish so I'd like a do over." He said.

"Well "mini-you" is just about ready for bed Jack, so if you'd like to just stay in, I'll let you put him to bed while I go make us some sandwiches?" Kate said.

"Do you want to go socialize with the neighbors Kate?" He asked.

"Not really, he's just gotten over the little cold he had and is sleeping well again and if we take him out he'll get passed around and probably get sick again. Besides, I'd rather spend the evening alone with you." She told him.

"Are you going to wear that Santa hat you wore last year for me?" He asked.

"I can't believe you remember that." She giggled.

"How could I forget, it was the best Christmas I'd had since….ever." He explained.

"I don't know where the hat is, but I can't wait to sit in your lap Santa." She teased and kissed him, softly at first and then deeper, both lingering and not wanting to separate, the baby squirming and finally kicking between them, making them giggle and pull apart.

Jack held the baby up in front of him, taking a deep breath as he suddenly became overwhelmed with the love he felt for the chubby, 15 pounds of adorable sweetness.

"Tell mommy goodnight." Jack said as he sat up straight and handed the baby to Kate.

Kate kissed and hugged on him, told him she loved him, told him goodnight and handed him back to Jack. Jack carried the baby into the nursery, changed his diaper and put his pajamas on him talking to him the entire time and finding himself laughing at the happy, excited way his son responded to his voice. He laid him in his crib, kissed him on the cheek and watched while he settled himself down and eventually closed his eyes.

"I love you little one and I'm going to figure things out I promise. You're going to have a normal life with a mom and dad that love you more than anything and hopefully with grandparents. I don't want you to grow up without them so just give your dad some time to make it all okay again." He said softly and left the room.

Jack walked into the kitchen expecting to find her in there, but guessed he'd been with the baby longer than he thought and headed toward the family room. He entered the room, noticed the two sandwiches and two bottles of beer on the table but there was no sign of her. He decided she must've been changing into something more comfortable and sat down. He took a bite of one of the sandwiches and a long drink of beer. He was just about to take another bite when he heard shuffling behind him and turned around. A big smile spread across his face as his eyes landed on what would grab all of his attention and keep his attention for the rest of the night.

Kate stood just a few feet away completely naked with what appeared to be whip cream covering both nipples and her crotch. He sat mesmerized by the view, the sight of her like this still able to take his breath and his mind away simultaneously. He watched her approach him slowly until she was standing in front of him. He stood to face her, the dumbstruck, lusty smile of appreciation still plastered all over his face.

"It's not a Santa Hat, but it's got a bit of a Christmas theme to it yeah?" Kate said in a soft, seductive tone that sent what was left of his blood straight to his crotch.

He reached for her and she slapped his hand away playfully.

"You haven't eaten your dinner." She teased.

"I took a bite, I'm ready for dessert." He told her his tongue licking his lips and reaching for her again.

He brushed his thumbs gently over her jaw-line, wanting to pull her in for a kiss, but wanting to touch and taste all of her more, his hands slowly gliding down her arms and pulling her a little closer, his mouth immediately latching onto her left breast and licking away all of the whip cream before moving to the right breast and doing the same, the nipple hard and responsive to his warm tongue breaking through the cold substance, making her moan and begin to push on his shoulders, wanting him to continue on to move down and eat the rest of the whip cream. She felt him smile against her stomach as his mouth worked slowly over her flesh, teasing her by gliding his tongue along her bikini line and along the creases of her legs, licking away the edges of the whip cream slowly, avoiding the center where he knew she wanted him.

The anticipation was killing her and she was finding it difficult to stand, her legs beginning to shake the closer he got to the intended target. With just a strip of whip cream left looking like a perfectly painted stripe right down the center of her pussy he stood and guided her backward onto the couch, placing one leg up and resting on the back of the couch and the other over the side, her foot resting on the floor. He sat between her legs and slowly ran his finger through her crease, bringing it to her mouth so she could lick the whip cream off.

"Please Jack." She whispered.

"Please what?" He asked.

"Make me come with your mouth." She panted.

"And if I do that what do I get?" He continued to taunt, eyes dark with lust.

"What do you want?" She asked, into the game, the game they played so well, the sex they were about to have no doubt would be incredible and both were teetering on the edge of being out of control with excitement.

"You, I want you as many ways as I can have you." He answered

"So take me." She told him.

"Maybe I don't want to take it, maybe I want you to give it to me. Do you want to give me your pussy Kate? Sit on my face and feed it to me?" He continued on, rubbing his thumb over her clit, her skin flushed with desire, her eyes closed and enjoying what he was doing to her.

"Take it Jack, now." She demanded.

She felt his breath and then his mouth and then his tongue, his hot, wet, magical tongue sliding through her crease, the tip of it teasing her clit and moving away again, her hips beginning to squirm, bucking up and opening wider for him, her body begging him to make her come and him enjoying how he could make her crazy, get her so worked up and then make her explode. He knew all it would take was to close his mouth over her clit and push a finger inside and she'd be there, but making her anticipate the moment was exciting for him, the way she squirmed below him, the noises she made, the soft pleas coming from her and the longer he could hold her off the more intense the outcome. He could feel her body begin to shake beneath him and slowly closed his wet mouth over her clit, sucking it gently for a few seconds before pushing his long finger into her and pulling it back out slowly fucking her with his finger and his mouth. She began to moan louder and then she began to pant and then he felt her hands grab his head and then he heard her.

"Oh fuck, shit, if you stop now I'll cut your dick off. Oh Jack that's so good! Ah, ah, ah……!!"

He loved listening to her, her mind so caught up in the good feeling he was bringing to her that she let her passion take over and the profanity and naughtiness spill out of her. He loved this sweet beautiful woman and mother of child so much and her uninhibited approach to sex made him so crazy with desire that he wanted to take her in ways that bordered on abusive, the way they liked to teeter on the edge between pleasure and pain would probably seem inappropriate to some. There were times early in their relationship when he questioned the animalistic behavior she could bring out of him, but he didn't anymore, it was just one of things about their relationship that made it work, that kept it alive and being soft, sweet and gentle with each other was always something they enjoyed and did as often as they tore after one another like crazed animals, the way he was about to fuck her now, as soon as she bottomed out and settled back down.

Her mind began to clear, the orgasm done and the tingling in her crotch settling. She could hear him removing his clothes, the swish of the t-shirt coming up over his head and hitting the floor, the sound of the zipper on his jeans coming down, the sound of the material only being pulled down far enough for him to free his cock and then the feel of the denim scraping quickly against her inner thigh just before he buried himself inside her quick and hard. He wrapped his upper body around her, his eyes staring hungrily into hers for a moment and then his hips began moving furiously, fucking her so hard she had to hold on tight, her body slowly sliding off the couch. His back slammed into the hardwood floor with a thud, her body landing on top of him, his cock still buried deep inside of her, hard and throbbing and desperate for release.

"Mmm….so hard. Are you tired baby, do you need me finish this." She asked knowing he was far from finished with her.

He sat up with her in his lap and then lifted her off of him, turning her around, both of them on their knees, her gasping when he reentered her from behind hard, filling her up and holding his position just long enough to wrap one arm around her waist and move the other hand to her breasts, squeezing and pinching the nipples as he began fucking her again, their bodies bouncing hard up and down the hand around her waist keeping her in place, every drive into her more powerful than the last, hitting her hard and then backing out.

"Jack don't stop, it's so good, god I love you so much so don't you dare stop!" She demanded.

He moved the hand that had been fondling her breasts down to her crotch and helped her find another orgasm, her arms wrapped tightly around the arm around her waist as she squirmed, panted and flooded their connection with heat and wetness. Their bodies were covered with sweat and she was quivering in his arms and he could tell she was getting tired as was he. He moved her off of him again, stood, picked her up and carried her into their bedroom. He laid her on the bed, moved between her legs and re-entered her, closing his mouth over hers and kissing her passionately, calming them down and slowing down, moving in and out of her with slow, deep thrusts and coming a couple of minutes later, her following behind him with another orgasm, her legs wrapped around his waist and squeezing him tightly.

They separated and lay in the center of the bed in each others arms, both relaxed, content and recharging their batteries.

"It's scary sometimes Jack." She said breaking the silence.

"What's that?" He asked.

"Being this happy, having everything I could've ever dreamed of. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop." She admitted.

"There's no shoe Kate. You deserve to be happy and it's okay to enjoy it." He said.

"You deserve to be happy too Jack." She said.

"I am happy." He argued.

"I think you are, but I think you could be happier." She pushed.

"Kate, please don't. It's Christmas Eve, I've got this perfect little baby sleeping down the hall, we just had mind blowing sex and now I've got the most important thing in the world to me lying in my arms waiting for me to make love to her again. I'm happy Kate, as happy as I've ever been, so please just don't go there, not tonight." Jack pleaded with her.

"I love you Jack." She said and snuggled in closer.

"I love you too." He mumbled, his body's need for sleep about to trump its desire for marathon sex.

Two months had passed since Sarah killed herself and Jack learned the family's ugly secret. It was late January and as much as he had wanted to marry Kate on New Year's Eve on the same yacht, he couldn't make it happen, but promised her that they would get married very soon, quietly and privately.

He came home from work early to surprise Kate, but ended up being the one who was surprised. He was certain his blood pressure spiked to a dangerous level when he spotted his mother's car in the driveway and his plans to get a babysitter and take Kate out to dinner and a movie were immediately forgotten.

They weren't sure how long he'd been standing in the doorway when they finally noticed him, but both knew immediately that he was as pissed off as either had ever know him to be. He entered the family room where they were sitting, plucked the baby out of his mother's arms and walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry Kate." Margo said.

"No, it's okay, he's being unreasonable." Kate said.

"He has every right to hate us Kate." Margo said.

"He doesn't hate you, he's just so angry and confused that it seems that way." Kate offered.

"I can speak for myself Kate." Jack snapped making both women jump.

"They why don't you?" She shot back.

"You should leave mom." Jack told her, his tone so hateful, Kate couldn't contain her anger and disappointment with him.

"No Jack, you should leave! This is my house too and Jack is just as much my son as he is yours and I'm sorry about everything that you've been through and that you feel like you had such a fucked up childhood you need to push your parents out of your life for good, but I'm not going to be a part of it any longer. I invited her over here and if you don't like it, then leave!" Kate yelled.

"You sure that's what you want Kate?" He asked, angry and a little hurt that she wasn't on his side.

"Does it matter what I want Jack? That's what you do isn't it? When things aren't going your way you leave, right?" She bit back hatefully, going where she swore she never would again.

"That's just great Kate." Jack said, visibly stung by the comment.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Margo screamed and stood to leave.

"Tell dad I'm taking the day off tomorrow. I've got to find a new place to live because apparently that's what I do." Jack spat angrily.

Margo approached him quickly and slapped him hard across the face before he had a chance to react.

"That's enough Jack! You are not going to throw away the best thing that's ever happened to you because you are mad at me and your father. Grow up and start acting like the man that you are instead of the little boy that you never got to be." Margo yelled shocking both of them into complete silence.

She spun around quickly, the scolding not to be for Jack alone.

"And you Kate, you need to never reach for that knife again because anything he did where Sarah was concerned he did as much for you as he did for himself and you sound like an ungrateful little bitch when you throw it back in his face!" Margo continued angry and frustrated and emotionally exhausted by the situation.

"Mom, that's enough!" Jack yelled.

She immediately turned back to Jack, her finger just inches from his face.

"Don't you raise your voice to me Jack Shephard, I'm still your mother whether you want to acknowledge that or not and both of you are acting like spoiled children. I am sorry son, I am sorry and I would give anything if I could change any of it, but I can't, but I'm not going to……." Margo continued to scold him stopping in mid rant and grabbing Jack's arm to steady herself, snapping Jack out of the angry, betrayed, self-pitying mode he was in immediately.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Jack asked, his concern genuine, coming from a place that didn't allow the turmoil in his mind to taint it.

"I'm fine, I just got a little, oh……." She groaned and grabbed her chest falling forward into Jack's arms.

Jack caught her, recognizing what was happening immediately and switched gears again from concerned son to life saving doctor. He laid her on the floor and checked for a pulse.

"She's not breathing call 9-1-1." Jack ordered in stern, but calm tone.

Kate grabbed the phone and watched Jack begin CPR on his mother, relaying everything he told her to the 9-1-1 operator, watching as he desperately worked to save her and finding herself praying to anyone or anything that would listen that this wouldn't turn out badly, that he wasn't going to have live with the guilt of this on top of everything else he'd been dealing with.


	28. Chapter 28

Jack stood just inside the doorway, watching the monitors and watching her sleep. She'd survived the heart attack, the CPR he'd performed on her kept her going until the paramedics arrived and shocked her heart back into a rhythm. Her condition was critical, but survivable. However, without the will to survive chances were she wouldn't. He felt the presence behind him and turned around.

"We need to talk." Christian said.

Jack nodded and followed his father to a nearby waiting room. It was empty and the two men sat down facing one another.

"There's a lot of damage. She needs surgery." Christian said.

"I know." Jack said.

"Then you also know that she can't go into a surgery like that with a broken heart." Christian said.

"What do you want me to do?" Jack asked, not interested in fighting with him, ready to take full responsibility for the shape his mother was in.

"What I don't want you to do is take this on, blame yourself, it's not your fault." Christian asked.

"Save the pep talk dad, this one is all on me. I treated my mother like shit, stressed her out, made her sad, made her so angry she slapped me. Just tell me what I can do to make her feel better and I'll do it." Jack said.

"What do you want to do Jack?" Christian asked.

"I don't want her to die." Jack said.

"Are you sure about that?" Christian asked.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Jack asked angrily.

"Son, I know you're angry and you have every right to be especially now that you can remember how things were and how drastically they changed, but we can't change it. You're a parent now so I want you to try to put yourself in our shoes, try to imagine what it would be like if your son was suddenly ripped out of your life." Christian reasoned.

"You think I don't think about that? Do you think I don't want my parents in my life and in my son's life? Why couldn't you just be honest with me and why can't you be honest now? Why can't you just look me in the eye and tell me you blame me for killing Aidan and resent me for it?" Jack argued his voice rising to the point of almost yelling.

"Okay Jack, yes, against all of our better instincts we blamed you for Aidan's death and you can't imagine what that's like for a parent, but we never resented you son, we just didn't know how to relate to you anymore or how to be a family anymore. We found a way to deal with the grief and it wasn't good, not for you and both of us wish we could go back with all the knowledge we have today and change it, but we can't, it's done." Christian told him.

"I don't want her to die dad, god how could even question that. She's my mother, I love her." Jack said sadly.

"I know you do, but maybe she could use some reassurance." Christian said.

"I bought a Christmas train." Jack mumbled.

"What?" Christian asked.

"A Christmas train, I bought one for Jack, he liked it." Jack told him and laughed lightly at the memory of his infant son reacting to the train.

"You remember that huh?" Christian asked.

"Yeah, like I never forgot it, like it's always been a part of me even though I know it hasn't been and the gingerbread men that mom and me used to make, I remember those too." Jack said.

"You were so picky about them, as if you were dressing the things to go out in public or something. When you were three, I made the mistake of messing you up while you were strategically placing the little candy pieces on one of them. Hell hath no fury like a pissed off anal three year old." Christian recalled laughing lightly.

"Can you excuse me for a minute?" Jack said, stood and walked across the room to make a phone call. He returned within minutes and sat back down.

"So what are we going to do about your mom?" Christian asked.

"I just called Kate, she's bringing the baby up." Jack said.

"The baby?" Christian shrugged.

"Can you think of a better cure for a broken heart?" Jack asked.

He sat on the side of the bed and caressed the top of his mother's hand until she stirred and opened her eyes. Margo looked confused and gravely ill, but finally managed a faint smile as Jack placed the sleeping infant on her chest. She placed her hand on the baby's back and kissed the top of his head.

"He's so beautiful Jack." She whispered as a tear escaped down her cheek.

"He is and I can't imagine my life without him. I don't know how you survived it mom." Jack said his voice beginning to crack.

"I didn't, not really. I'm so sorry Jack." She told him as more tears slipped down her cheeks.

He wiped the tears from her face, leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got so angry and pushed you out of my life and I'm so grateful that I'm getting a chance to make this right, to tell you how stupid I was for doing that. I love you mom and when you get out of here we'll talk about all of this and be honest and eventually get past it. Okay?" He said.

"Do you really mean that Jack or are you just saying it now because you feel sorry for me?" She asked.

"I'm saying it now because I need to say it. I almost lost you and it hurt so much to think about it that I realized that it just doesn't matter, you're my mom and you did the best you could. I've really been acting like a jerk and I'm sorry." Jack said fighting back his own tears, the terror he felt while trying to save her still fresh in his mind.

"No son, you haven't, you've been acting like anyone would who had been lied to their entire life. It broke my heart, but I understood why you were so angry." She insisted.

The baby began to squirm and Jack picked him, letting him bury his face in the spot below his shoulder and wake up. Margo watched him, so kind and gentle and loving and the sight of her grown son with his own son made her more proud of him than she already was. He turned the baby around so she could see him, his now big, alert eyes staring at her and making her smile to the point of almost laughing.

"He should be big enough to help you with those gingerbread men next Christmas don't you think?" Jack asked and smiled at her.

"I haven't made those in so long, I can't believe you remember." She said.

"Those were happy times mom and we'll be happy again. Okay? I want my son to experience those things with you. I want us to try to be a family again, a real family, if you do. I know dad wants to retire and travel, but maybe in-between trips when you're home." Jack said softly, sincerely.

"Is Kate okay? I shouldn't have yelled at her like that." Margo said.

"Kate's fine." Jack assured her.

He sat with his mother until she went back to sleep and then watched her sleep for a few minutes, hearing his father enter the room and moving off the side of the bed. He sat in the chair beside the bed, cradling his son close and taking a few deep breaths.

"What's going on Jack?" Christian asked.

"I don't know dad, I'm just…….it seems like……I need to talk to Kate, talk about the awful things we said to each other, about why……hell, I don't even know why." Jack stammered, not really making any sense.

"Why what son?" Christian asked.

"I don't know, sometimes it feels like I destroy everything I touch and maybe it's better if…." Jack continued to babble.

"Better if what?" Christian asked.

"Can you take him please? Take him to Kate. I need to go, need to think, try to figure things out." Jack pleaded with his father, shoving the baby into his arms and exiting the room without waiting for an answer.

Christian found Kate in the waiting room and watched as she strapped the baby into his carrier before sitting down beside her. She was quiet and moody, almost more so than Jack.

"Did he say where he was going?" Kate asked.

"No, but I think I have a pretty good idea." Christian answered.

"I think he wants to split up." Kate admitted and let the tears flow freely.

Christian put his arm around her and let her cry until she was ready to pull away from him.

"I'm sorry, I'm tired and he…..I just don't understand what's going on in his head anymore." Kate admitted.

"What do you mean?" Christian asked.

"Did he get cold feet when he got married the first time?" Kate asked.

"Listen Kate, I don't have any idea what's going on between the two of you because my son hasn't really spoken to me much in the last two months, but I doubt he wants any part of a life that doesn't include you." Christian assured her.

"Where?" Kate asked.

"Sorry?" Christian replied.

"You said you had an idea where he went. Where?" Kate asked.

"Kate, you should take your son home and just wait for him to come home." Christian said.

"No, I want to talk to him now, where did he go?" Kate demanded.

Christian looked at her, her face so sad and for whatever reason convinced she was losing Jack and he felt bad for her, knowing that Jack could be a complex individual and very hard to read at times.

Kate drove the car slowly down the short, skinny path, spotting his car and then him sitting alone staring at the headstone. She stopped the car, got out, retrieved the baby from his seat in the back and walked toward him. He glanced up at them and then back down. She sat beside him and looked at the obnoxiously large headstone… _"Sarah Shephard, loving daughter and wife"_ and out of respect for the dead didn't scoff at the last part.

"Thanks for bringing him. She was happy to see him." Jack said softly.

"Jack I'm sorry, please don't be angry with me, please don't….." She blurted out and began crying.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her temple softly.

"Angry with you, why would I be angry with you?" He asked.

"For betraying you, going behind your back and doing exactly what you didn't want. I just…" She explained and buried her face in his chest.

"Kate, if I wanted to spend my life with someone that always saw things the same way I do, I'd go out and buy a dog and train it to obey my every command. I'm not mad at you." Jack told her, rubbing his hand over her back and then down her arm.

"Is she going to be okay?" Kate asked.

"She needs surgery to repair the damage to her heart, but she's young enough and strong enough and should pull through. What else Kate?" Jack asked.

"Sorry?" She asked.

"What else is upsetting you? Is it the fight, the things we said to each other?" He asked.

"Are you wanting to split up Jack?" She asked.

"What? No, of course not, why would you think that? Things have been really good between us haven't they?" He asked.

"Then why are you dragging your feet Jack? You used to beg me to marry you every day and when I finally picked a date and place you seemed to get cold feet. Jack, what's going on with you? Why are you here?" Kate asked.

"Her family filed a wrongful death suit against me." Jack said.

"What?" Kate asked.

"They couldn't hold me criminally responsible so I guess that was the next best thing. Maybe they're right Kate, maybe I shouldn't be allowed to fuck up any more lives. I killed my brother, destroyed my family, drove my ex-wife to suicide and nearly killed my mother. I don't want to fuck up your life Kate." Jack said.

"That's ridiculous Jack and they won't win this lawsuit, but they will manage to force you to relive all of it for another two or three years which is all they want so don't give them the satisfaction, let an attorney deal with it and stop blaming yourself Jack. You did everything you could for her?" Kate insisted.

"Maybe it's like you said except it's actually me who is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe I'm afraid if we get married everything will change. What we have is so great so why rock the boat?" He explained.

"But shouldn't our children's parents be married?" She asked.

He started to answer and then stopped, felt his breath hitch for a moment and then pulled back to look at her.

"Are you pregnant Kate?" He asked.

"Yes I am. I think that weekend at the bed and breakfast was too much too soon. You've got damn accurate aim Jack that's for sure." She groaned making him laugh.

"I love you Kate, more than anything, it's just all been too much, I feel like I'm going a little crazy and the only thing keeping me sane is you. You're so incredible, how can I take a chance that I would make you so miserable you'd end up like this." Jack continued gesturing toward the grave.

"You know I've often told you that I love you more than life itself, but baby I'm fairly certain I'd never feel the need to prove that to you." She told him making him chuckle lightly.

"That's good to know." He said and put his arm around her again.

"She was sick Jack, come on you're a doctor you have to intellectually know that Sarah's problems were about so much more than her failed marriage to you." Kate pushed.

"Perhaps, but my leaving her and her losing the baby was like throwing gasoline on a flickering flame. If I'd known she was this sick maybe I could've done things differently, found an easier way to make the break with her." Jack continued to doubt himself.

"Yeah or maybe she could've decided to take you with her and Jack wouldn't have a father and your parents would've lost another child and I would be completely alone and very sad. Shit happens Jack and sometimes too much of it happens to one person and that's when you need to lean on me the most and not worry that you might suffocate me because you won't. I love you and if you're scared, if you don't want to get married right now because you've just been through too much shit and just need to _"be"_ for awhile then just tell me that." She told him.

"I don't want to get married right now Kate, I just want to _"be"_ for awhile, but I promise you, leaving you has never crossed my mind and I'm sorry if my putting off getting married made you feel that way." Jack said.

"Let's go home Jack or would you rather go be with your mom?" Kate said.

"No, she's okay for now, she needs to rest and get strong enough for surgery. Let's go home." Jack answered.

She held tightly to the rails while he thrust in and out of her wildly, their passion for one another still as strong as the night they met, but on this night instead of a short skirt wrapped around her waist being the only item of clothing she wore while he fucked her in front of the entire city, she wore a garter belt around her thigh, the only remnant of the day remaining. Four years and two children later they had finally gotten married, the reception held at the hotel where they had met, the penthouse where they'd first began to admit their feelings for one another their choice of where to spend their wedding night before they departed on their honeymoon the following day.

There had been so many guests and so many photos and so much activity that Jack never got around to slipping the garter off her leg even though they had posed for pictures doing just that. Instead, he brought her to their room, slowly removed all of her clothes and left it on, liking the way it looked and liking that she wanted him to take her on the balcony the way he had four years ago. He was close to the edge, ready to explode inside of her when he felt her begin to clench around him, both of them coming hard, screaming profanity toward the city lights from the top floor of the luxury hotel. He pulled her back into his chest and stomach and worked the garter off her leg, stretching it out like a rubber band in his hands and shooting it out into the darkness.

"May the bachelor that finds it find what I found in this hotel." He said and walked them inside the penthouse.

They pulled the bed coverings back and met in the middle, the way they always did, snuggled together with enough bed on either side of them for two more people. Except for the nights one or both of the kids needed to be between them they always started out this way. Their daughter Anna had arrived just a few weeks before Jack's first birthday and they had made birth control a top priority since, having two children just 11 months apart a lot of work most days.

"The kids looked so cute today, I can't believe they actually did it." Kate said.

"Yeah, how many couples get to have their children participate in their wedding? Anna holding onto my leg during the vows was almost too much though, it took everything I had to keep from laughing and that would've been very inappropriate." Jack chuckled.

"No, it would've just been very unique, very us." Kate said and snuggled in closer.

"You looked so beautiful walking down that aisle with my father. I think you asking him to give you away really meant a lot to him." Jack said.

"It meant a lot to me too, your dad has been very much a father to me Jack, both of your parents have been wonderful. We're lucky you know, we have a pretty great family." She told him.

"Yup, it's like you came along and put band-aids on a lifetime of wounds. I think we should build a shrine in your honor or something." Jack teased making her giggle.

"Stop it, I didn't do anything." Kate said.

"You did baby, you gave me a reason to want more out of life, you won my parents over the night they met you, you gave me a son that was apparently the key to unlocking the doors my family slammed shut years ago and it was rough, but opening those doors healed us. Yeah, I'm thinking a really big Kate shrine erected in the back yard. I'll make the kids polish it at least once a week." He chuckled.

"How about you just knock me up one more time and we'll call it even." She said, her fingers lightly swirling through the hair on his chest.

"Do you really want another baby?" He asked.

"Well, I'd like to have two more, but I reserve the right to change my mind about that." She told him, her hand slithering down his stomach, the rest of her following.

He felt her hand grip him and her tongue lick his tip and he moved his hand over the silky smooth skin on her back.

"You realize you're not going to get pregnant doing that right?" He teased and let go of a long breath as she became more aggressive.

"We'll start trying again in a few months, right now I just want to gobble you up." She told him.

He let her go for awhile, really not recharged enough yet to get off, but enjoying the effort on her part. He finally pulled her away, rolled her onto her back and buried his face between her legs, knowing she was horny, she was always horny and he loved that about her. He took his time and brought an explosive orgasm out of her, the effort on his part not only bliss for her, but allowing him time to get hard again. He sat up and looked at her, her legs spread wide and her skin flush, her body still coming down from where he'd taken her. She opened her eyes and made eye contact with him, eyes burning with passion, the same passion that had ignited four years ago still burning strong.

"Do you want me to suck it some more or are you going to fuck me?" She asked in a sultry tone.

"You're going to fuck me." He told her, taking her hands and pulling her forward.

She straddled him and pushed him back onto the bed, connecting with him quickly and fully, taking him by surprise and making him let go of a loud, breathy moan as she began to ride him slowly at first, grinding over his pelvic region, sitting up straight and taking him in as deep as her body would allow while rotating over him.

"Fuck Kate, I'm not going to last." He panted.

"Then don't, this one is all about you baby." She told him and began bouncing up and down hard, allowing him to hold her hips and dictate the rhythm and speed, pulling her off of him suddenly and sitting up.

"Suck it Kate, please, I need to come right now." He begged.

She leaned over and took his engorged head into her mouth, taking as much of him in as she could, bobbing up and down, her hot wet mouth and tongue bringing him the release he needed quickly, the first spurts of him hitting her tongue as she continued on and then pulled him out, holding him in her fist and catching as much of him as she could on her tongue while he watched. When he was done he pulled her into his lap and kissed her passionately, arms wrapped tightly around her as if he were never going to let her go. He finally pulled out of the kiss and let their foreheads touch, both tired from the day, the booze and the sex.

"Two weeks of nothing to focus on but you, I may not survive it." He teased.

"I love you Jack and I meant every one of those vows I said today, so you should be prepared to be focused on me for much longer than two weeks." She told him and kissed him again.

"I love you too. You, me and the Mini-Shephards forever, the ultimate escape." He told her and smiled as they let their foreheads meet again.

THE END


End file.
